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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23873206">Til' we meet again (Please keep me in your heart)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insomniac_Raccoon/pseuds/Insomniac_Raccoon'>Insomniac_Raccoon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TWICE (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A+ Parenting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Baby chaeng, Childhood Sweethearts, Cinnamon roll Mina, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Hi bye Mama, Hurting hours are opened, Jeongyeon is suffering, Momo is dealing with feelings, Protective Nayeon, Sana tries, Soulmates, baby tzuyu, learning to let go, psychological hurt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:21:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>138,571</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23873206</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insomniac_Raccoon/pseuds/Insomniac_Raccoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(Hi Bye Mama inspired)</p><p>Sana has everything she could ever dream of. A job she loves, a wife she's crazy about and a daughter that she adores more each day. </p><p>The only problem? Sana's dead.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hirai Momo/Minatozaki Sana, Hirai Momo/Myoui Mina, Im Nayeon/Park Jisoo | Jihyo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>133</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>374</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Tzu-Tzu! Look, aren’t these cute?” Sana gestures towards some octopus hotdogs, trying to entice the baby to try it. Tzuyu looks more interested in her juice box. “Hi! I’m Octo and I’m super delicious!” as a last-ditch effort Sana tried to do a funny voice over, wiggling her arms like an octopus would.</p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu ignores her.</p><p> </p><p>Undeterred, Sana smiled to herself as she squats down in front of Tzuyu’s highchair as she looks over her features. Adoringly memorizing her doe eyes, the slope of her nose, the cutest pout on her lips and her chubby cheeks. She never tires of this, trying to match which feature came from which parent, noting down how Tzuyu has her eyes but Momo's lips and cheeks. She’s so cute that Sana struggles to repress the urge to squeal lest she startles her baby.</p><p> </p><p>“Wow you’ve grown so big now Tzu-Tzu! And you’re getting cuter and cuter by the day!” Sana gushes as she reaches out to cup Tzuyu cheeks when suddenly she starts failing her arms, shocking Sana who hurriedly looked around for anything that could be causing discomfort to her.</p><p> </p><p><em> “Hey it's Pororo!”</em> Ah, it was around this time that Tzuyu’s favourite TV show would be on air, that explains the sudden energetic dance moves that Tzuyu is trying to do. It was such an endearing sight to see Tzuyu wiggling side to side and trying to sing along to the lyrics that Sana couldn’t resist dancing alongside her, making sure to jump when Pororo and friends jumped too which made Tzuyu giggle happily. They both sat side by side as they watched enraptured as Pororo created a jet ski sled with his friends and Tzuyu finally takes a bit out of her hotdogs.</p><p> </p><p>Sana watches as Tzuyu hummed happily to herself and reached for more of the hotdogs and munching with her cheeks puffed out. <em>‘She really does look like Momo like this’</em> Sana thought with a smile, contented with just watching Tzuyu.</p><p> </p><p>As Tzuyu was waving bye to Pororo, she accidentally squeezed too hard on her juice box and some of it splattered on her cardigan and startled her. Seeing how her eyes start to well up, Sana tried to distract her by cooing and making funny faces. "Tzu-Tzu, it's okay baby! Please don't cry, it's okay we can wash it out." It was no use. By now Tzuyu has started wailing but before Sana could reach out to caress her, an arm shot out and pulled Tzuyu into a hug.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, what's wrong baby? What's gotten you so upset?" Mina gently rubbed Tzuyu's back as she swayed them side to side. Slowly the wailing softened down to slight whimpers and sniffling as Tzuyu buried her face into Mina's neck, trying to find comfort in her embrace.</p><p> </p><p>"Mama…Chewy spill juice" was the muffled answer and Mina sighed softly "It was an accident Tzuyu, Mama will wash it and it'll be as good as new okay?" Tzuyu looks up with wide eyes "Weally?" Mina nodded and placed a soft kiss on the crown of her head which placate Tzuyu and slowly lulled her to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>Feeling slightly awkward, Sana glances down where the spillage was and reaches towards a towel, trying to wipe it up only to sigh as her hands go through the towel. She bites the inside of her cheek as she tries again and again. Each time ending up more frustrated. 

Giving up, Sana plops herself down on the couch, staring at the slumbering figure in Mina’s arms and seeing how peaceful her daughter looks. Time passes so fast, it only felt like yesterday when Tzuyu was a baby and now she’s able to talk and walk albeit wobbly. Her baby was growing up so quickly that it makes Sana a little sad. She wishes she could keep her small forever; wishes she could cuddle her to sleep just like Mina is doing.</p><p> </p><p>Sana watched the scene wistfully before frowning down at her hands. Seeing how Tzuyu cuddles into Mina as she's slowly rocked to sleep makes something in Sana's stomach turn. Some part of her wished Mina was ugly or mean, then it would give her a justified reason to hate her. But she isn't.</p><p> </p><p>Mina is one of the sweetest, kindest and loving person Sana has ever known. She would begrudgingly admit that Mina is also one of the prettiest. (What can she say? Momo has taste) And Sana is glad that out of everyone that could have been Tzuyu's stepmother, it was Mina. She had seen how some of the women that Momo brought home treated Tzuyu. Nothing too obvious but they would try and slowly edge Tzuyu out by pretending she doesn't exist and monopolizing all Momo's attention, try to plan dates without the burden of a child hanging around while being needlessly mean to Tzuyu. Fortunately, Momo caught on and kicked them to the curb immediately.</p><p> </p><p>When Momo brought Mina home, Sana was mentally preparing herself to hear the same old excuses of "Oh...you have a kid? Wow I never expect- sorry I don't think this is going to work out" or "Well can't you leave her with someone else? Where's the mom? The grandparents?" But Mina surprised her by gently lowering herself on the floor to look Tzuyu in the eye before pulling out a puppy plushie out of her bag. "Hello Tzuyu, it’s so nice to finally meet you. I'm a friend of your mommy," she wiggles the plushie slightly "and this is Minjoong, he is very excited to meet you too."</p><p> </p><p>The way she spoke was soft and filled with tenderness which pleased Sana. “Come on Tzu-Tzu, look what the nice lady got for you!” Sana ushered Tzuyu towards Mina and Tzuyu stared at the plush silently with wide eyes. All three of them (Sana most of all) watched with bated breath to see what Tzuyu would do. Back then she would either straight up ignore the person talking to her or cry should they come on too strong. She was not the most expressive kid nor is she fond of talking. But Tzuyu did something she has never done before. She smiled.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn't long before Mina became a permanent fixture in their lives, she even took time off to care for Tzuyu when Momo had to go back to work. At first Sana just treated Mina as a glorified babysitter, a very pretty babysitter, but she wasn't ready to acknowledge how Tzuyu's eyes light up when Mina drops by and how Mina seems perfectly happy to play tea party with Tzuyu, always remembering to set out an extra cup for Minjoong. </p><p> </p><p>Sana was happy that Tzuyu is smiling and talking more these days but it's not fair how Mina was able to play and bond with Tzuyu when she had to content herself with just looking at Tzuyu. That's not even taking into account the number of times Sana had seen Momo pressing several kisses to Mina's face, each one getting increasingly passionate to the point that Sana had to teleport away.</p><p> </p><p>Now back at the columbarium that houses her urn, Sana greets a few lingering ghosts there before heading out towards the backyard. It just isn't fair. That should be her holding Tzuyu, that should be her in the family portrait. That should be her being called Mama. That should be her Momo is holding and kissing. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not-</p><p> </p><p>Sana leans against a stone wall as she tries to take several deep breathes and dug the heels of her palm into her eyes, trying to will the threat of tears away. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“P-please, please save my b-baby” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Someone, help m-me please” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Trembling hands presses over her abdomen, trying to stop the gush of blood that is leaking through her fingers. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Someone is kneeling next to her, frantically talking but Sana couldn’t make out what he’s saying. He is gesturing and prodding her arm, but she can’t feel anything. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her ears ring and her surroundings seem to blur-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sana jolts awake with a start, gasping and struggling to breathe. She shakily places her palm over her stomach and wheezes.</p><p>“It felt so real…” Sana could almost feel the burning sensation spreading throughout her body and the way her limbs felt numb and how she was not able to do anything but plea desperately for anyone to save her child. She runs her hand through her sweat slicked bangs and tries to regulate her breathing.</p><p>Suddenly feeling cold, Sana curls into herself, fingers digging into her thighs. “It’s okay, I’m okay. It was just a dream.” Repeating it like a mantra over and over, Sana forced herself to relax and take a deep breath. She slowly counted to 10 and released her fingers, leaving deep imprints that looks like it may develop into bruises later.</p><p>Trying to distract herself, Sana decided to shift her thoughts to happier ones. “It’s spring now, that means the cherry blossoms would bloom again. Tzuyu loves those! Oh, she’ll look so cute in her new cardigan.” just the thought of her daughter placed a smile on her face, her trembling lessened, and she slumps over in exhaustion. Tiredly waving away concerned gazes of her fellow ghosts, Sana rests her forehead on her knees and closes her eyes, willing sleep to find her again.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>A door creaks open revealing Tzuyu who sleepily rubs her eyes as she toddles out from her room, clutching Minjoong close to her chest. She stumbled towards the kitchen where the smell of eggs and bacon wafted out and reaches out a finger to poke Mina’s legs, startling the woman.</p><p>“Oh! Oh, good morning Tzuyu, did you have a good rest?” Mina lowers the heat before bending down, opening her arms in a gesture to carry Tzuyu but retreats when Tzuyu backtracks and shakes her head. Tzuyu looks around the kitchen and mumbles out “…Mommy?” Mina bites her lip as she attempts to give off a cheerful smile which came off as a grimace instead.</p><p>"Your mommy is working today, so she’s not home right now’ Mina shepherds Tzuyu towards the living room “here, I’ll turn on the TV for you.” It stings a little when Tzuyu rejects her affections sometimes, seeing Tzuyu hesitate before backing away and hiding behind her plushie as if Mina was someone she needed protection from hurts. It was hard to get close to the soft-spoken girl especially when she doesn’t like to approach others much, but frankly Mina understood the need to keep to herself. She wasn’t the most social person either anyways.</p><p>Mina sets up a small foldable table and sat Tzuyu in front of it before returning to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Glancing up from the stove, Mina watches fondly as Tzuyu mouths along to the lyrics of the show.</p><p> </p><p>“Tzuyu, what are you watching?”</p><p>Silence</p><p>"Tzuyu?” Mina glances out to the living room and sees Tzuyu looking at her but not saying a word.</p><p>Trying to continue the conversation, Mina made a few guesses “Oh, is this the one with the yellow mouse? What’s his name…Pikaball?”</p><p>“…Pikachu”</p><p>“Ah Pikachu, I remember now. Is he your favourite?”</p><p>A nod.</p><p>Mina hums in acknowledgement as she expertly flips her omelette over and snuck in a few spoonsful of peas in it. Hopefully Tzuyu won’t notice it.</p><p>Slowly placing the omelette onto Tzuyu’s favourite paw petrol plate, Mina whips out her trusty Heinz ketchup and drew a smiley face on it before setting the plate in front of Tzuyu and plopping down on the couch with a sigh. She gently combs Tzuyu’s unruly hair back and slipped a Barbie hairband onto her to prevent her bangs from poking her eyes.</p><p>
  <em> Hmm it’s time I brought her for a haircut…perhaps this Saturday? I should ask Momo.</em>
</p><p>Mina pulled her phone out of the front pocket of her apron and thumbed through her favourite contacts before firing a quick text to Momo.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Myoui Mina</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Momoring would you be joining us for dinner tonight? Tzuyu misses you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momoring &lt;3 </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sorry I got the night shift today ☹</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mina frowns.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Myoui Mina </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh okay. By the way Tzuyu needs a haircut soon, her bangs are hurting her eyes. I was thinking that we could head downtown together this Saturday? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momoring &lt;3 </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Didn’t she have a hair cut like…last week or something?? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Myoui Mina </em>
</p><p>
  <em>No, it was last month. Remember? We went to Pororo park with Tzuyu and bought her a new set of pajamas.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Momoring &lt;3</em>
</p><p>
  <em> OH! Right right, this Saturday it is then! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Thinking that was the end of the conversation, Mina slipped her phone back into her pocket before she felt another vibration.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momoring &lt;3 </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Looking forward to our date 😉 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Giggling to herself, she placed her phone on the couch, gazing towards Tzuyu who is picking at her scrambled eggs with her eyes glued to the screen with a few grains of rice stuck to her cheeks. Mina gently wipes them away. “Does it taste good?” Tzuyu chews before letting a small smile linger on her face “yes, I like eggs”</p><p>Smiling indulgently and taking this as a small win, Mina slumped backwards on the couch and opted to watch over Tzuyu as she made her way through the omelette, intervening here and there to correct Tzuyu on her handling of her fork. She's getting better each day and soon it'll be time to introduce Tzuyu to her own set of training chopsticks, purchased from Pororo park with her favourite character decorating it.</p><p>Now that she can relax, Mina thinks back to the text messages and kicks her feet out slightly. Guess it was just the two of them tonight again. It’s the third night in a row that Momo hasn’t come home, she hopes this isn’t becoming a habit but Momo seems to be taking on more responsibilities as of late and its been awhile since they had some alone time together. Tzuyu isn’t bad company but the toddler doesn’t seem to enjoy spending time with Mina much nor does she talk much. Is it normal for a child to be this quiet? The children at the playground seems to disagree. Mina swears her ears still ring with their shrill laughter.</p><p>Maybe Tzuyu just thinks she’s boring? Maybe that’s why she doesn’t talk much to her. Perhaps she should watch more cartoons so she would have a common topic to discuss with Tzuyu. Mina contemplates busting out her Lego sets and building it together with Tzuyu. <em>Would she like that? Or would she think I’m being too pushy?</em> Mina thinks back to her early childhood days and how she despised when adults would badger her into conversations frequently when all she wanted was to play alone.</p><p>Maybe Tzuyu thinks she’s being annoying. Mina pursed her lips at that thought. She doesn’t know if she could handle being thought of as annoying by the toddler, Tzuyu is always so sweet albeit shy and timid. <em>I really hope she doesn’t feel pressured by me but she’s starting preschool soon and she can’t keep to herself all day. Hmm maybe I’ll try asking Mom’s Café for help.</em></p><p>Logging onto Mom’s Café, she immediately searched the blog for any tips on helping a child make friends and was pleasantly surprised to see quite a few links pop up.</p><p>Sitting up straight, Mina read aloud “as a parent, your number one duty is to help your child move through the world and past obstacles. This is especially true for making friends. You can start by bringing your child to playgrounds or arranging playdates for those around their age or signing your child up for activities, so they have more opportunities to mix around.” Peering over her phone at the unsuspecting toddler, Mina weighed her options.</p><p>Tzuyu only has frequent contact with two people and they are herself and Momo so Tzuyu definitely needs friends her age. Mina doubts a kid might be interested in discussing about politics or new recipes. Momo isn't a good candidate either as she's always busy at the hospital and can’t accompany Tzuyu to any classes unless it’s on the weekends so that leaves only her. But Tzuyu is also really shy and prone to tears when left with strangers, it’s not like Mina can just dump her at a local community centre for activities and leave. She needs to choose something that both Tzuyu and her can participate in.</p><p>Scrolling down mindlessly, Mina stopped at a post advertising a workshop.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Mommy and Me: Learn to bake together! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Classes include learning how to bake cakes, muffins, cupcakes and more! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Guaranteed to have a fun-filled day with your little one! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sign up at the link below.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>This looks promising. "What do you say Tzuyu? Do you want to make cakes?” Upon hearing the word cake, Tzuyu perked up and climbed onto Mina’s lap, peering into her phone curiously. “I’ll take that as a yes” chuckling, Mina clicked on the link and signed them both up.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for taking so long &gt;&lt; I hope you guys like this update :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Floating around aimlessly, Sana stared at the cracks in the paint of the ceiling. “Wow you really need to repaint that, maybe blue this time?” She glances over at Mina who is busy packing a lunchbox for Tzuyu, carefully pressing out a sandwich in the shape of a bear. “That’s so cute! Hey, do one more! This time of a frog!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This was how Sana usually spends her afternoons in the Hirai residence. Just hovering around, giving instructions on what to do (not that anyone can hear her) and cooing over Tzuyu. She keeps a watchful eye over Mina as she starts preparing some onigiri with bonito flakes, Tzuyu’s favourite.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Remember to make it bite size, Tzuyu still can’t handle big mouthfuls yet.” Honestly Sana feels a little like an evil mother-in-law who keeps micro-managing, but she can’t help it, Tzuyu is everything to her so she needs everything to be perfect for her baby.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>*Beep beep* *Beep beep*</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Both women snap to attention at the sound of Tzuyu’s alarm ringing, Mina wiping her hands on a towel and setting her chopsticks down before heading to her room with Sana in tow. Slowly stepping into the room, Sana made a beeline towards the slumbering figure on the bed while Mina headed towards the windows, drawing the curtains to let some sunshine in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good morning Tzu-Tzu! Time to wake up baby, you have a full day of fun ahead of you today! Mina said you’re going to attend a baking class, right? That sounds so exciting!” a small groan of protest answers her as Tzuyu squirms and burrows deeper into her blankets. Sana giggles as she peeks under the blanket and melts when she sees how peaceful Tzuyu looks with a small pout. It pains Sana sometimes when her baby is so close to her, yet she can’t even touch her. Swallowing nervously, Sana cautiously placed her hand near Tzuyu’s cheek, mimicking a gentle caress when Tzuyu’s nose scrunches up and she sneezes, startling herself awake.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh my, good morning Tzuyu. Is it too dusty? what a loud sneeze!” Mina comments as she sits at the edge of the bed, slowly tugging down the paw print patterned blanket down to reveal Tzuyu blinking blearily as she tries to adjust to a suddenly bright bedroom, her hair resembling a bird’s nest. <em>She definitely got that from Momo </em>thought Sana as she watches Tzuyu pat the bed blindly in search of Minjoong, the plushie wedged in between her pillows.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mina clicks her tongue as she looked for a brush, settling on a sailor moon designed hairbrush and proceeded to gently work out the knots. Sana sits cross-legged on the floor as she gazes up at Tzuyu, smiling when she notices that Tzuyu had dressed Minjoong up in a dress with fairy wings attached at the back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tzuyu, are you looking forward to today?” A nod “Me too! I hope we get to make many yummy cakes to share with your mommy, I wonder what flavour we should try baking?” Tzuyu brings the ears of Minjoong towards her mouth, gnawing on it while thinking deeply, brows furrowed cutely as she contemplates all the cake flavours seriously and Sana couldn’t contain her squeal. “Mommy likes abo-abocaro!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mina hums as she swiftly pulls the plushie away from Tzuyu’s mouth earning her a small whine of protest “Avocado? You’re right, your mommy loves that. Do you want to try making it later?” Tzuyu gave a small “uh huh” before settling against Mina, relaxing against the soothing motion of having her hair brushed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before Tzuyu can slip off to dreamland again, Mina finishes up by doing a French braid with one of Tzuyu’s favourite tiara hair clips secured at the crown of her head. “There we go! You look so pretty today, princess Tzuyu.” Elated at being called a princess, Tzuyu hurriedly slides off her bed and heads towards a small mirror, gazing appreciatively at her tiara.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As Mina stands and starts making the bed, she felt Tzuyu run into her leg, clutching on and mumbling “…thank you” Mina smiles to herself as she gently pats her head “You’re welcome sweetheart, now go play. I’ll be out in a minute and we’ll head to the class okay?” she shoos the toddler away before resuming her tidying up, doing so with a smile that seems permanently etched on her face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sana leans against a dresser and stares wistfully at Tzuyu’s silhouette as she does spins along the hallway singing about being a pretty princess before looking back at Mina for a moment before leaving.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>After carefully buckling Tzuyu into the child seat and ensuring Minjoong was just as secured, Mina placed a small kiss on Tzuyu’s cheek before closing the door and heading towards the driver’s seat while Sana made herself comfortable at the back next to Tzuyu. Mina reaches up to adjust the rear-view mirror, making sure she can keep an eye on Tzuyu before slowly pulling out of the driveway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you excited?” Tzuyu nods slowly as she cuddles Minjoong closer to her chest, eyes darting all over the place as she takes in the scenery, watching the cherry blossoms petal falling with awe. Sana wishes she had a phone just so she could record the scene and replay it as much as she likes. The unadulterated glee present on her daughter’s face was heart-warming to witness. “Wow look how pretty the flowers are! Do you want to pick some up later?” even though Sana knows that Tzuyu can’t hear her, she pretends the answering smile was for her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mina fiddles with the radio, tuning in to a kid’s channel to Tzuyu would have a few songs to sing to and occasionally joining in when she recognizes the lyrics. It was nice seeing Tzuyu enjoying herself and moving her body side to side along with the melody, the way she would move Minjoong’s paws to mimic waving.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Ah I wish I could pinch her cheeks…</em>quickly shaking that thought off, Sana refocused her efforts on singing, giving loud cheers when the song ends and praising Tzuyu for her efforts. “Tzu-Tzu you’re getting so good at talking! You can even say blue now, that’s fantastic! Soon you’ll even be able to-"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’re here!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Effectively cut off by the announcement of their arrival, Sana watches with amusement as Tzuyu sits up straighter and peers out of the window, quietly taking in the unfamiliar sight. Mina turns to face Tzuyu while unbuckling her belt “we’re going to have fun today and make some new friends okay?” Tzuyu frowns slightly and buries her face into Minjoong, hiding a disgruntled pout.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey what’s wrong?” Mina tried to pry Minjoong away from Tzuyu’s grip so she could look her in the eye “don’t you want to make friends?” Tzuyu shakes her head hard. “Why not? If you make friends then you can play with them, we can go to the park together too.” Tzuyu shrinks into herself, mumbling something that Mina couldn’t catch but Sana did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>She’s…scared? I mean I know she’s timid, but not to the extent of fearing strangers…how could I have missed it? That explains why she cries when people crowd around her. God I’m so stupid, how could I even call myself her mother when I didn’t even catch this. </em>While Sana was mentally berating herself, Mina gently tugged Tzuyu out of the child seat and held her close.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How about this? You can try talking to a few kids there but if you don’t like them then you can just walk back to me? I’ll be right there with you, so you won’t be alone.” Finally, Tzuyu looks up from her plushie “...weally?” Mina nods “really, here I’ll pinky promise!” She sticks out her pinky and waits for Tzuyu to link it with her much smaller one, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good girl now let’s hurry or we’ll be late. Do you want to walk, or do you want me to carry you?” “Carry pwease.” “Alright.” Mina adjusts Tzuyu on her hips and grabs her purse along with the lunch box she prepared before locking the car and heading into the building with Sana following right behind.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Stepping into the class, Mina gives a quick bow to the instructor, a lovely lady in her mid-50s with greying hair and a name tag that reads “Park Soyeon”, before hurrying to an empty station and setting her items down. On the table there were 2 aprons neatly laid out, one for an adult and one much tinier with cute cartoons etched on it. Mina swiftly picked up the kid sized apron before kneeling in front of Tzuyu and draping it over her before securing a knot at the back. Tzuyu is rather small for a 3-year-old so the apron hands a little awkwardly on her frame and is close to touching the floor and Sana coos adoringly over the sight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mina spots 2 empty name tags and scribbles their names on, letting Tzuyu doodle a little puppy on hers before attaching it on their aprons. Tzuyu stares at Minjoong for a while before tugging at Mina’s apron, murmuring “What about Minjoong? Does he get a name tag too?” Mina was about to shake her head but upon seeing Tzuyu’s hopeful eyes, she subtly waves over the instructor and requests for a third name tag before handing it to the toddler who writes with utmost concentration, trying to write neatly with her tongue sticking out and adding a smiley face at the end of Minjoong’s name. Sana makes sure to praise Tzuyu for her handwriting as well commenting that perhaps her Tzuyu would be an artist later in life. “Well done Tzu-Tzu! You’re getting so good at wrtting your ‘J’! and look at that smiley face, how cute! Maybe we should sign you up for art classes, would you like that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After quickly snapping a picture to show to Momo, Mina stacked 2 chairs on top of one another and placed Tzuyu on it so she would be able to sit and help with the baking with Minjoong placed on a stool next to her, close enough so Tzuyu can still draw comfort from it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clearing her throat, the instructor spoke up “hello everyone and welcome to a mommy and me baking class! Since today is our first lesson, I would like everyone to introduce yourself to each other while the children can familiarize themselves with each other over there at the play corner!” She gestures towards the edge of the room where mats where laid out with bean bags chairs and toys strewn around. Mina’s finger twitches when she takes in the mess.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Looking around the room its apparent to Mina that the kids there are much older and rowdier, a few even pushing each other around roughly and their loud laughter prompted Tzuyu to hide behind Mina, little hands holding onto the woman’s shirt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mina placed one hand behind her back and pressed gently against Tzuyu to soothe her, the poor thing was trembling. She squats down to look Tzuyu in the eye, making sure to hold both of her hands to reassure the toddler. Sana notices and decides to squat down to show support as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tzuyu, did you hear what the teacher said? We have to introduce ourselves, so let’s go over there okay?” she gently coaxes the toddler towards the play corner, walking hunched over as she holds Tzuyu’s hands. It seems that the closer the duo gets to the corner the worse Tzuyu’s trembling gets and when an older boy suddenly runs up to Tzuyu, she quickly hides behind Mina’s legs, refusing to even look at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi! I’m Suho and I’m 7! What’s your name?” he asked boisterously, not noticing how Tzuyu winces at his volume. Sana fist pumped when Suho approached her daughter, he seems like a nice boy and if Tzuyu was too shy to approach others, then others should approach her! She hurries behind Mina and bends down to whisper to Tzuyu “say hi back! You can do it baby, say hi ‘I’m Tzuyu!’”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mina bends down and nudges Tzuyu forward, smiling at the boy. “Hello Suho, its very nice to meet you. This is Tzuyu, she’s 3 years old. Would you like to play with her?” Suho thinks for a while before flashing a big smile, exposing his two missing front teeth “Okay! Come on Tzuyu!” He proceeds to yank Tzuyu towards him much to the younger girl’s distress and was stopped by a firm grip on his arm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please be gentle to Tzuyu, she’s so little and is easily hurt.” Mina reminds Suho with a stern face that relaxes into a small smile when Suho nods in acknowledgement and holds out his hand for Tzuyu to take instead. Tzuyu looks back at Mina with wide eyes, unsure of what to do and hesitantly placing her hand in his with Mina’s encouragement.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mina and Sana both watch as Suho leads Tzuyu towards the play corner, pasting assuring smiles when Tzuyu looks back to see if Mina was still there. Sana flashes 2 thumbs up towards Tzuyu and mouths “good luck!” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suho quickly leads Tzuyu to a corner and pulls 2 kiddie chairs over as well as some Legos. Even though Mina couldn't hear what was being said, she could see that Suho was full of energy and talking animatedly while Tzuyu chews nervously on Minjoong's ears. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Hello."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Startled, Mina quickly looks up and locks eyes with another participant and she quickly glance at the nametag which reads “Irene”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Woah sorry for scaring you, I'm Irene. The instructor, Mrs Park, told us to gather outside to retrieve ingredients for our cakes. Want to go together?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shaking herself out of her stupor, Mina quickly agreed, and the pair headed out the classroom with Mina throwing one last glance back at Tzuyu, only leaving when she's assured nothing would happen to the little girl while she was gone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mina makes small talk with the shorter woman and finds out that she’s attending this workshop with her 2 daughters and a nephew, “I’ve always been working long hours so I’m hoping this can make up for some lost time with my girls” Irene smiles and tilts her head inquisitively, “what do you do for a living?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, I used to be a doctor, but I quit recently to focus on myself and Tzuyu.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tzuyu? Ah, your daughter? That’s nice, my wife, Wendy, is a freelance photographer and spends most of her time with my girls and tries to cheer them up when they miss me." Irene smiles sadly before adding  "You must be a very dedicated mother.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mina blushes and waves her hand dismissively “Tzuyu isn’t my daughter actually, I’m dating her mother and helping out whenever I can. She’s a cop and usually works overtime as well and Tzuyu is still little and needs constant guidance.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Irene hums thoughtfully “That’s really admirable of you.” She wanted to probe further and ask about Tzuyu’s other parent but seeing how Mina has started to clam up, she didn’t and shifted the topic towards lighter things such as their kids’ favourite shows and complained about the listening to baby shark all day.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Now Sana was left alone with Tzuyu and around 9 other kids and she grabs at the opportunity to sit on one of the beanbags, watching her interactions with the older ones excitedly, hoping this is the day her daughter might make some friends.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Initially brought over by Suho, Tzuyu now sits amidst a pile of abandoned Lego and some opened paint bottles, hands clutching nervously at Minjoong as she glances anxiously around. Suho had left to mingle with his other friends since Tzuyu wouldn’t talk to him, leaving the younger girl to her own devices.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sana frowns at the sight of Tzuyu pushing around lego dejectedly and hurried over to her daughter. She places one hand over Tzuyu’s head and mimics a caress, trying her best to comfort the little one when suddenly 3 kids, one of them being Suho, walked over to Tzuyu.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sana brightens up, thinking that these kids wanted to play with Tzuyu and welcomed them. “Look Tzu-Tzu! Suho came back and he brought friends!” The 3 kids crowded around Tzuyu and just looked at her curiously as if analyzing the younger girl which unnerved Sana a bit before the one in the middle, a girl with pigtails who looked around 6, spoke up loudly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, what’s your name? I’m Yeri and this is my sister, Seulgi,” She gestures to another girl besides her who waves “and you already met Suho right? He’s our cousin.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tzuyu shrinks into herself, trying to curl up into a ball so no one would notice her and holding Minjoong up to cover her face. Yeri steps forward but Tzuyu wiggles back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why won’t you answer me?” Yeri frustratedly growls out which scares Tzuyu even more and she started trembling slightly. Sana bites her lips as she subconsciously moves in front of Tzuyu, trying to hide her from the other 3 which doesn’t work. She tries cooing softly to calm the trembling 3-year-old and thinking of how to get her out of this uncomfortable situation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s no use Yeri, she doesn’t talk! All she does is hug that plushie.” Suho pouts, remembering all the one-sided conversations he had.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“H-hey kids, that’s enough now. How about doing some puzzles? You like puzzles, right? Tzuyu likes them too!” Sana tries to defuse the situation but the 3 just spoke over her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Want some candy? This is my favourite flavour!" Seulgi offers a lollipop to Tzuyu but was ignored in favour of snuggling deeper into Minjoong which prompted a light shove from Yeri which toppled the younger girl off her chair “My sister was talking to you, don’t be rude okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe if we took away the dog, she’ll want to play with us?” suggested Seulgi which alarmed Sana as she knows how attached her daughter was to that plushie. But before she could do anything, Suho surged forward and yanked Minjoong out of Tzuyu’s grasp which was followed by a wail as Tzuyu desperately made grabby hands to get it back. “it’s not even that fluffy to hug! Why do you like it so much?” Suho complained and when he held it high above his head so that Tzuyu couldn’t reach, she started crying, hard.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Startled, Yeri tried to calm the toddler down “d-don’t cry, we just wanted to play! You were ignoring us, so we took your toy!” she squats down and pokes Tzuyu softly, trying to get her attention.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay okay! I’ll give your dog back.” Suho tosses Minjoong towards Tzuyu but his aim was off, sending Minjoong towards the opened paint bottles, causing Minjoong to be splattered in array of colours. The sight of her precious companion in such a state caused Tzuyu to sob even loudly in borderline hysterics, holding Minjoong close to her not even caring that her outfit was getting smeared in paint as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Upset by the tun of events, Sana tried to get rid of the older kids, grimacing when her hands went through their bodies, it didn’t help that she was invisible so none of them was deterred. A few others have walked up to them, curious about what was going on and that only served to increase Tzuyu’s panic and she started choking from her tears. As a last-ditch effort, Sana puffed up her cheeks and blew hard on them, sending a gust of cold air through the children which caused them to shiver and back away slightly. “Woah why is it so cold suddenly?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sana huddles on the floor and wraps her arms around Tzuyu, comforting the sobbing girl whose face has turned red from crying, eyes puffy. “It’s okay Tzu-Tzu, mama’s here! Don’t cry, I’ll protect you.” She tries to rub Tzuyu’s back, stopping when she realizes Tzuyu was shivering from the cold as well. Frantically ransacking her brains for ideas, Sana bit her lip as she looked down at the crying girl in her arms and her heart clenched. It’s killing her to see Tzuyu cry and she can’t even do anything to help.  "It's okay, its okay Tzuyu, I'm here." Panicking, Sana looks down again and sees Tzuyu’s teary eyes staring through her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Staring <em>at her.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s going on here?!” a voice cuts through the commotion and Sana was distracted as the adults quickly filed in, taking in the situation. Mina quickly pushes her way to the front, gasping when she sees Tzuyu crying her eyes out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tzuyu what’s wrong?” Mina scoops Tzuyu into her arms, rocking her slightly and wincing when she sees how puffy her eyes were and used her sleeves to wipe away some snot on her face. She notices how Minjoong is covered in paint and contemplates if she could even wash it out of his fur. Sana, wanting to be useful, stands up and gently blows on Tzuyu’s eyes, trying to ease the ache and sting of crying too much and Tzuyu squints. Tzuyu’s sobs have soften down to whimpers and hiccups but she refuses to answer, opting to just snuggle closer to Mina.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They made her cry!” a boy shouted and pointed an accusatory finger towards Seulgi, Yeri and Suho who hangs their head low as the other kids nodded in agreement.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah! They took her doggy! And pushed her too!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Meanies!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Placing her finger against her lips in a shushing motion, Irene steps forward and regards her daughters and nephew silently, “is this true?” She purses her lips when Yeri looks away petulantly and glance towards Seulgi who nods shakily. Unable to bear the silence anymore, Suho shuffles forward and softly relays the incident back to his aunt, stammering throughout and looking rightfully ashamed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was obvious that they were too rough and pushy with the toddler, but they didn’t do it with bad intentions, just wanted her to play with them but their actions went too far. With that in mind, Irene ushered the 3 forward towards Mina.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Apologize to Tzuyu right now.” Yeri looks at her mother “but-” “Apologize right now or I’ll take away TV and your Ipad privileges for a month.” Her daughters gaped at her; eyes wide with surprise before hesitantly murmuring a soft “I’m sorry” to an unreceptive Tzuyu.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Irene bows low “I’m so sorry this happened, I’ll make sure to discipline them accordingly and,” she eyes the plushie in Tzuyu’s arms, “I’ll pay for that to be dry cleaned.” She bows again “I’m sorry for what they did” she presses down on Yeri’s and Seulgi’s head, making them do an awkward little bow as well with Suho following suit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mina nods in acknowledgement to the apologies and gently rubs at Tzuyu’s back. “It’s okay, I’m sure they didn’t mean to make her cry.” Peeking at Tzuyu, Mina questions “Do you want to stay and bake, or would you want to go home, and I’ll make you some mickey pancakes with orange juice?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A soft “Pancakes pwease…” was mumbled into her neck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay.” With that, Mina started to undo the aprons with some difficulty in maneuvering Tzuyu and placed them back on the station. As she was packing up, the instructor approached and looked at her apologetically “I’m sorry this experience was ruined for you and your little one.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s okay, maybe we’ll come back for the next lesson if she’s feeling better.” She secured Tzuyu in her arms before grabbing Minjoong, whispered goodbye and headed out the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The drive back home was solemn. Tzuyu has fallen asleep, drained from her crying session while Mina kept glancing back at her worriedly, thinking about how to bring up this issue to Momo when she comes back from work and what she can do to cheer up the toddler.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sana one the other hand was pissed. Not at the other kids but at herself. She was there when Tzuyu was crying, she should have done something, <em>anything. </em>But all she could do was uselessly blowing air. She looks at Tzuyu’s slumbering figure and feels herself getting choked up. Her baby was crying just now, and she wasn’t able to protect nor comfort her. What good was she? She can’t even get too near Tzuyu without causing the child to shiver. What’s the point of her lingering on earth then?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Feeling a headache approaching, Sana decides to just alight the moving car, body phasing out as she loiters along the highway. She watches as Mina’s little silver Subaru outback drives off until it becomes just a tiny dot in her vision before turning around and walking off.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>After walking around for hours, Sana found an empty playgorund and that's how she found herself sitting on a swing and staring listlessly at the ground. She still can’t forget the look on Tzuyu’s face when Suho snatched Minjoong away from her, can’t forget the sound of her desperate cries. She clenches her fist and swings it down on her lap.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why? Why can’t I do anything? Aren’t ghosts supposed to have powers or something? Casper could touch things! So why can’t I? I’m not even asking for much, just let me touch Tzuyu, just let me hold her <em>once! </em>Its not fair…fuck I never even got to hold her-” Sana felt the tell-tale signs of tears and struggles to hold them back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I-I didn’t get to say goodbye to Momo, I haven’t wished my mom happy birthday and I promised d-dad I’ll give him a massage. There’s so much I haven’t done, so much I want to d-do. Why? Why did I die? Why me?! I wanted to bring Tzuyu to my hometown! Momo said she’ll take us to the Universal Studios in Japan for our first trip as a family, we had so many plans! What did I do? Why did you choose to take me?!” Sana screams out and pants softly, overwhelmed from feeling so much anger and despair all at once.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please, God or whoever is listening, just let me hold my baby once. That’s all I’m asking, j-just once. I’ll do anything. <em>Please.</em>” Her voice cracks at the end. Sana looks up towards the sky, hoping to see a sign or something that indicates that her prayers has been heard.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was a flash of lightening and a low rumble of thunder before rain fell, soaking Sana to the bone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> Feeling utterly defeated and cold, Sana buries her face in her hands and sobs.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, how is she?” Momo closes the door as quietly as she can, tiptoeing over to Tzuyu’s bedside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She cried all day, especially when I had to wash Minjoong.” Mina tilts her head towards the plushie currently held in a vice grip, “I tried but I couldn’t wash out all the paint.” The previously blonde puppy is now a mixture of green, pink and blue, looking like it came right out of a care bear episode.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll try to find another one just like it, where did you say you got it from again?” Momo suggests as she tugged the blankets up to tuck her daughter in better, watching as the furrowed brow on Tzuyu’s face start to relax.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I bought it from one of those toy shops in Hongdae, right next to the train station. The owner made it by hand and said its one of a kind though.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh. Well I’ll still give the shop a visit, maybe I’ll pop by tomorrow during my lunch break. Anyways, how are you holding up? Can’t be easy to deal with a crying kid.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mina leans back, hearing a soft pop in her back and groans tiredly. “It hurt to see her cry so hard to be honest, nothing I did worked. I tried making those mickey mouse pancakes for her but messed up the food colouring and that set her off again. After placing her down for a nap I did some cleaning, just not in your study as you said”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Back when the two of them first started a relationship, Momo had opened her doors to Mina and welcomed her in, giving her access to everything except her study room which Momo requested to be kept private and Mina respected her wishes, never once setting foot into that room. Even Tzuyu wasn’t allowed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Momo places an arm over Mina’s shoulders and pulls her close, placing a kiss on her crown. “I’m sorry, I should be the one dealing with it.” She gives a quick peck to Mina’s lips, cutting off whatever protest the younger woman was going to voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m her mother yet I’m almost never around and I’m sorry for that. She’s my daughter to raise but you’re doing the bulk of it.” She nudges her head against Mina “I never really said thank you to you, before have I? Thank you, Mina, for all you’ve done for me and Tzuyu. I promise I’ll make time for the both of you soon okay? Just wait a little longer for me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mina sighs blissfully and snuggles against Momo’s side, breathing in her familiar scent. “Okay, I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait for as long as you want me to.” She looks up at Momo “but please don’t take any case for this Saturday, we’re bringing Tzuyu out for a haircut remember?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Momo nods. “Yeah of course, I made sure to block that day.” She glances at the clock and untangles herself from Mina before standing up. “It’s getting late now; I’ll go wash up and head to bed. Don’t wait up for me, unless you want to join me in the shower?” she wiggles her eyebrows teasingly, laughing when Mina flushes and tosses one of Tzuyu’s plushie at her face. She blows a kiss towards Mina before slipping through the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her smile slid off her face once she heard the door click shut, standing with her back pressed against Tzuyu's bedroom door for a moment before plodding towards her study room. She enters the room and is greeted by complete darkness, ensuring the door was locked before flicking on the lights. She stares at the wall for a moment, before sliding a photo out of her jean pocket and thumb-tacking it to a board, tying a red string around it and connecting it to various other photos and reports. She took out a black sharpie and scribbles something underneath the newly added picture.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Soon…I’ll have you behind bars.” She mused to herself, eyes narrowing at the grainy silhouette and clenches her jaw. She pulls out a key to unlock her cabinet before pulling out a stack of files, all dated 3 years back with the same grainy picture attached to the front.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Its going to be a long night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>https://curiouscat.qa/wotdahheck</p>
<p>Free free to send any thoughts and comments you have over here ^.^</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mina shivers slightly from the cool morning air and burrows herself deeper into the sheets and Momo’s warm embrace, head tucked under her girlfriend’s chin. She blinks slowly, adjusting her eyes to the morning rays and peeks up at Momo’s slumbering form, lower lips jutted out in a small pout not unlike Tzuyu and Mina smiles at the similarity, adoration pooling in her heart.</p><p> </p><p>She takes in Momo’s features, reaching out to cup her cheeks in a soft caress and Momo subconsciously pushes her face into Mina’s palm, nuzzling against it. Mina gave a soft boop on Momo’s nose and giggles lightly when her girlfriend scrunches her nose before her eyes fell onto her neck which was covered in hickeys, a reminder of what they got up to last night and Mina flushes at the memory.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps she was a little…enthusiastic last night but who could blame her? It’s been almost 2 weeks since she had any time alone with Momo and she misses her dearly, a sentiment that Momo returns just as fiercely seeing how sore Mina feels this morning.</p><p> </p><p>Snuggling deeper her nose comes in contact with something cold to the touch and she looks down and sees the locket Momo always insists on wearing along with a ring looped around the metal chain. The locket looks scratched up and a little dull, probably due to age. Mina gingerly lifts the locket towards her face and upon closer inspection, there seems to be a word etched onto the locket, but it looks a little rubbed out and Mina couldn’t exactly tell what it was.</p><p> </p><p><em>S___? What are the other three letters? </em>After puzzling over it a little longer, Mina gives up, feeling an ache form beneath her eyelids due to straining her eyes and focuses on the ring instead.</p><p> </p><p>She fingers it curiously, sliding it around her palm.</p><p> </p><p>It was just a normal silver band with some roman numeral’s inscription on it, “IV-V and IX-X?” Mina mutters. <em>I wonder what those numbers mean…an important date? Maybe I should ask Momo about it.</em></p><p> </p><p>She slowly trails her finger downwards, tracing over numerous scars and bruises that decorate Momo’s body. Some looking faded while others looked fresh.</p><p> </p><p>Now that it was morning, she was able to see just how bad some of them looked. Mina looks on worriedly, lips set in a grim line as she surveys the damage, her doctor instincts kicking in and she mentally notes to apply some lotion on the fresher wounds lest an infection happens.</p><p> </p><p>She pauses when she takes in the bullet scar on Momo’s chest, right above her left breast, dangerously close to her heart. It was now healed, the scar tissue stretching out like a spider web. That was one of the worst injuries Momo had ever gotten, she was shot in close range and the bullet had left a hole through her body, nicking an artery.</p><p> </p><p>It was also how she met Momo, the latter was rushed into the hospital she was working at, bleeding out from the lethal wound and Mina was the only doctor available to tend to the injured officer.</p><p> </p><p>She remembers how her hands shook when she took in the wound, feeling slightly nauseous from the sight of exposed bones and how blood seems to gush endlessly. It didn’t help that Mina had just gotten her residency and was a newbie.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>PAST</strong>
</p><p>Mina stood in front of the stretcher, hands shaking as she tries to focus on the muffled voices of her colleagues who were quickly rattling off information about the patient and looking expectantly at her. The patient, an unconscious woman in her twenties in what looks like a torn and bloodied police uniform, groans in pain.</p><p> </p><p>There had been an armed robbery at the bank just down the street, a total of three culprits and eight hostages including children and the elderly.</p><p> </p><p>The officer was alone on patrol duty and chanced upon the scene. The smart thing to do would be radioing for backup while waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike seeing as how she doesn’t have a gun on hand unlike the robbers.</p><p> </p><p>Apparently, the patient had decided to throw herself headfirst into the fray, hoping to protect the hostages and ended up taking a bullet meant for one of the bank tellers. She had also been wrestled down, probably broken an arm from trying to hold off the robbers and stalling for time.</p><p> </p><p>It was heroic.</p><p> </p><p>It was dumb.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, to her credit none of the hostages had been harmed but here she lies, bleeding profusely with broken bones and numerous bruises littering her body, an eye swollen shut from being punched square in the face.</p><p> </p><p>Mina slowly drags her eyes up and down the broken form of her patient, cataloging what injuries were spotted as well as the best course of action to fix them. She knows what to do so why can’t she move her body? Why can't her hands stop trembling?</p><p> </p><p>She can do this; she has trained for this for years. She’s Myoui Mina, daughter of Myoui Akira and the one who graduated top of her class. She can do this.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Deep breaths Mina, focus!</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>Just like intern year</em> she thought to herself, opening her mouth to brief the nurses on what to prep when she finds herself voiceless, unable to say anything. Her heart thudding painfully against her chest as she catches sight of the patient’s chest and notices how her chest bone was slightly exposed; her shoulder seems to be dislocated as well and her right ankle seems twisted in an unnatural way, already looking swollen and bruised.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It’s most likely broken, probably from exerting too much force while doing a turn and encountering a large impact.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Mina’s stomach lurches and she struggles to stay upright.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>There’s so much blood</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>A senior nurse, Im Eun Ae, grasped Mina’s shoulder firmly, trying to shake her out of her daze but Mina was unable to respond.</p><p> </p><p>She’s faintly aware that this is highly unprofessional, and she wonders if she’s going to be fired. She chuckles darkly to herself. Her father is going to kill her if she loses this job, she’s already such a disappointment to him, what’s one more failure on her part?</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly she feels a weak grasp on her hand and looks down. The patient seems to have regained consciousness and has held onto Mina’s hand, bloodying it. She locks eyes with Mina and struggles to mouth “I-I’m in your care…doctor” coughing harshly afterwards.</p><p> </p><p>That seems to snap Mina out of her daze almost immediately, centring her. What was she doing dawdling in self-doubt like this? She has a life to save!</p><p> </p><p>She gently places the officer’s hand back on the stretcher, holding on for a moment longer trying to convey reassurance before steeling herself and snapping “Yoona! Prep the surgery room and please schedule a CT scan with Dr Moon to check if the patient has any internal bleeding. Please help reach out to her family Jaebum, check her medical records for any allergies to medication and Eun Ae, what are the noted injuries the patient has sustained?”</p><p> </p><p>Mina quickly fires instructions after instructions, feeling like she’s back in control of her body and she realizes that her hands have stopped shaking. Clenching her hands by her side, she quickly strides off to change into her scrubs and prepare for surgery.</p><p> </p><p><em>Don’t worry, I’ll save you</em> Mina resolute firmly.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It was a long operation, lasting thirteen hours but Mina worked tirelessly, stitching up wounds and resetting bones as she operates. With how damaged the patient’s body was it’s very likely that she’ll require physical therapy, so she’ll be able to move without pain.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hirai Momo</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Age: 25</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Occupation: Police officer listed in the Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nationality: Japanese</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Family members: </em>
</p>
<ul>
<li><em>Hirai Asashi (Father)</em></li>
<li><em>Hirai Yukino (Mother)</em></li>
<li><em>Hirai Hana (Sister)</em></li>
</ul><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Mina quickly flips through Momo’s medical records while waiting for the CT scan to arrive, trying to familiarize herself with her patient’s history who turns out to be a <em>very </em>frequent visitor to the hospital. Usually for broken bones or fractures.</p><p> </p><p>Mina winces internally when she received the scan and sees how damaged Momo’s ligaments are and speculate what on earth she’s been doing to end up in this state. She marks out the areas of concern and exists the operating theatre, ready to deliver the outcome of the surgery and what to look out for to her family whom are already notified.</p><p> </p><p>Surprisingly there was just one woman sitting outside, hands clasped in a prayer as her right leg bounced anxiously. Her hair was sticking up everywhere, looking frazzled. Mina cleared her throat softly, capturing the attention of the woman who jumps up immediately and stumbles towards the doctor, tripping over her handbag in her haste.</p><p> </p><p>“How is she?! Is she okay?! How bad is it??” Mina staggers back from the woman as she bombards the young doctor with questions.</p><p> </p><p>Mina tugs down her mask “Are you a relative of Hirai Momo?” the woman shakes her head “No, I-I’m her fiancée, Minatozaki Sana. Momo’s family is in Japan so they’re trying to get the next flight here and I got a call from the police department saying she was hurt.” She bites her lower lip “Am…I not allowed to know?”</p><p> </p><p>Mina debates whether to share the news with Sana since technically she isn’t considered a relative, but seeing how anxious the woman looks, Mina relents. “She’s fine. The surgery was a success, but we need to keep her in the hospital for the next few days to monitor her conditions, make sure she doesn’t get any sudden fevers for example.” Mina lifts up the CT scan result “There’s some concerning injuries I would like to talk to you about and I highly recommend signing your fiancée up for some physiotherapy sessions to help her adjust back to walking as smoothly as possible though it might mean a longer stay in the hospital.”</p><p> </p><p>Mina sees Sana’s shoulders droop from relief before she straightens up and listens attentively to the doctor’s advice. “C-can I see her?” Sana hesitantly mentions, looking hopefully at Mina only to deflate when the doctor shakes her head “Sorry but she needs to rest, come back tomorrow. Visiting hours are from 9am to 5pm daily and up to four visitors can enter the room at once.” Sana nods and bows, thanking Mina for all that she has done before glancing at the operating theatre wistfully, whispering “See you tomorrow Moguri” before turning around and leaving.</p><p> </p><p>That was the first time she met Minatozaki Sana, but it wasn’t the last.</p><p> </p><p>Sana never failed to show up at the hospital to visit Momo, always bring an assortment of food, sharing them with the nurses, doctors and even other patients before sitting by Momo’s bed and peeling an apple for her, carefully crafting them to look like rabbits and chattering about her day. More often than not, Mina has caught Sana giving Momo multiple kisses across her face, asking her to be quickly discharged so she can cuddle her again, huffing that the bed feels too big and cold without her.</p><p> </p><p>Mina remembers thinking <em>Hirai sure is lucky, being loved so much</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Since she was the one who operated, Momo was assigned to her care and Mina would dutifully check up on her daily, making sure to go through her routine of asking how she was feeling, does anything feel weird and answering any question the patient has for her. She remembers being exasperated at Momo’s impatience at wanting to be out and about, always trying to rush through her therapy sessions, pushing herself to the point of collapsing which earns her an earful from Mina who Momo begs not to tell Sana.</p><p> </p><p>The doctor would sigh and mention that the more she pushes herself, the longer she’ll take to recover and Momo would resemble a kicked puppy whenever Mina looked upset at her.</p><p> </p><p>Since Momo was instructed to take time off until she fully recovered, she spent a total of six months in the hospital to get back in tip top shape. It was six months of hard work to regain complete mobility on Momo’s end and it was also six months of undoubtedly the happiest moments of Mina’s life.</p><p> </p><p>She really can’t pinpoint when it happened, but within those measly six months Mina managed to somehow develop a crush on her patient.</p><p> </p><p>It was mortifying, it was unprofessional, immoral! Hirai has a <em>fiancée</em> for God’s sake! Mina knows all of this, but she couldn’t help herself. Maybe it was somewhere between all the smiles Momo directed at her, gentle and warm, making Mina feel like she was walking on clouds, all the “Good morning Doc!” All the stories she would share with Mina about her time in the force, taking the time to listen to Mina’s troubles and giving advice, never once judging her.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe it was also due to the times where she lent a shoulder whenever Mina got off the phone with her father, feeling discouraged and worthless and Momo would do her best to cheer her up, doing silly faces in return for a few weak giggles from Mina.</p><p> </p><p>Mian really doesn't know but somehow, Momo slowly managed to crack the mask that Mina put on and wiggled her way into her carefully guarded heart, one disarming smile at a time.</p><p> </p><p>Momo offhandedly mentioned a TV show that Sana really like, prattling off the title in fluent Japanese much to Mina’s delight. She had a suspicion that Momo was Japanese from her name, but she didn’t want to assume. Momo glimpses at Mina "You don't mind if we spoke in Japanese right? I'm still not that good in Korean yet" Momo pouts and Mina quickly reassures her that her Korean was great and that she'll love to use Japanese with her. Mina relishes in having Japanese conversations with Momo, it feels like it was a secret language that only the two of them know and it feels good to hear her native language again from someone dear to her.</p><p> </p><p>Mina’s parents communicate in Japanese with her too of course, but it was different when it was from Momo. Japanese from her parents’ sound harsh and cold whereas Momo sounds warm and loving, like a hug and it draws Mina ever deeper into her web.</p><p> </p><p>She remembers teaching Momo how to fold some origami when she sensed the older woman had been staring at her, deep in thought. The intense scrutiny prompted Mina to nervously tuck a lock of hair behind her ears, feeling suddenly shy.</p><p> </p><p>“W-what?”</p><p> </p><p>Momo lets out a huff, leaning back on her hands “We’re friends, aren’t we? I mean I hope we are; I really like you y’know?”</p><p> </p><p>The question catches Mina off guard, her heart fluttering in her chest. She lets out a nervous smile, staring down at the table gazing intently on the different coloured papers unwilling to make eye contact.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I erm, yeah. Yeah. Yes, friends!” she stutters, flushing at the sudden bright smile Momo flashes her way.</p><p> </p><p>“Great! Now let me give you a nickname!”</p><p> </p><p>Mina brings up her hands trying to dissuade Momo “It’s okay, Mina is fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nonsense. We’re friends and I always give my friends nicknames! Hmm…you kinda look like a…Mitang!” Momo snaps her fingers in triumph.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll call you Mitang from now on!”</p><p> </p><p>This was the first time Mina ever received a nickname that she likes. Mina reaches up to cup her cheeks, feeling about her face. <em>I look like a Mitang?</em> It’s funny, Momo doesn’t know that what she’s doing has such a profound impact on Mina. It feels like just being with Momo can remove some of the burdens that Mina had been lugging around.</p><p> </p><p>She can just be Mitang, Momo’s friend. Free from expectations, free from pressure.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, if you’re going to give me a nickname then I’ll give you one too!” Momo’s eyes grew wide, basically vibrating with excitement. Mina swears she can see a fluffy tail wagging.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes! Come on, what do I look like?!”</p><p> </p><p>Actually, Mina had already been calling Momo this nickname all along in her heart, never daring to voice it until today. She swallows hard and whispers “M-momoring.”</p><p> </p><p>Momo tilts her head “Sorry I couldn’t hear you.” She leans forward and cups her ear.</p><p> </p><p>Mina squeezes her eyes shut and squeaks loudly “Momoring!” afraid to look at Momo lest she combust from embarrassment.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>This was a bad idea, now Momo probably thinks I’m an idiot-</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Momoring? Hey I like it! Sounds like something from a cartoon!”</p><p> </p><p>Mina lets out a relieved smile, feeling the tension ooze out of her. She feels a little giddy, the two of them have nicknames for each other now that only they know. It felt like codenames, like they’re Batman and Robin.</p><p> </p><p>Partners.</p><p> </p><p>She suddenly hears a gasp and looks up only for Momo to grab onto her face, thumb swiping just under her nose. </p><p> </p><p>"Mina you're bleeding!"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It took five minutes for her nosebleed to stop and thirty minutes to calm Momo down, Mina repeatedly mentioning that it wasn't life threatening nor was she sick. She bashfully brings up a story from her childhood, the day she got a puppy named Ray and that she got so overwhelmed with happiness that her nose bled. This gave Momo a pause, looking up from where she was fussing over Mina with a goofy smile. "I made you that happy?" </p><p> </p><p>Mina refuses to answer earning her whines. She'll take this secret to her grave.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Momo, Mina found out, was also very physically affectionate. She would spontaneously pull the doctor in for hugs, ruffling her hair playfully and pinching her cheeks. Mina used to dislike the feeling of someone’s hands on her, touching her.</p><p> </p><p>However, this was Momo. Her constant affections revealed just how touch starved Mina was. Growing up, Mina never really received much attention from her parents aside from criticism and never-ending nagging of how she should be doing this, doing that. She can’t even remember the last time her mother hugged her when she cried instead of being told to suck it up as it was unrefined for a lady to cry.</p><p> </p><p>Now she secretly adores the little head pats Momo would give her when she shows off her latest Lego collection or knitting project. At first, she was worried that Momo would make fun of her like her classmates back then for playing with Legos at her age or even worse, be called <em>boring </em>for liking to knit.</p><p> </p><p>Momo never did any of that. In fact she reacted with awe when Momo shyly showed off her Lego set from Stranger Things and she remembers how happy and grateful Momo was when Mina gifted her with a scarf she made herself, praising Mina for having amazing concentration and skill as well as promising to never take off her scarf for as long as she lives.</p><p> </p><p>She begged Mina to teach her how to knit only to give up after a few hours, accusing Mina of having magical hands that exceeds the capability of a mere mortal.</p><p> </p><p>It was silly and Mina loved every second of it.</p><p> </p><p>She really doesn’t know why she felt so comfortable in sharing her life with someone who is essentially a stranger, she rarely let’s anyone in and barely has any friends but something about Momo was different.</p><p> </p><p>Mina felt like she could finally relax and be herself with Momo. To just be Momo’s <em>Mitang</em> and not the illustrious youngest Myoui, constantly having to constantly look over her shoulder in fear of not living up to her name.</p><p> </p><p>Growing up the way she did, Mina was always made hyper aware of all her flaws and was deeply insecure. She remembers her childhood where she used to have a snaggletooth and how her mother forced her to get braces, warning her not to smile until it was fixed else, she’ll be labelled as ugly. She remembers the painful grip her mother would have on her shoulders as she straightens Mina’s posture for a family picture.</p><p> </p><p>To the world they were the perfect family and garners a large amount of envy from onlookers.</p><p> </p><p>Mina knows the truth though.</p><p> </p><p>It slowly became a habit for Mina to always give a tight-lipped smile, cautious not to show her teeth or her gums as her brother used to tease her relentlessly for looking like a shark and on occasion, a goblin.</p><p> </p><p>Once she laughed too hard for one of Momo’s jokes and grinned widely. She immediately brought a hand up to cover her mouth, turning red from embarrassment only to see Momo looking at her fondly, the officer pulling her hand away from her mouth “Why are you hiding? You have such a lovely smile.”</p><p> </p><p>Mina stammers “W-what? Hah, that’s not true-”</p><p> </p><p>Momo leans in slightly, gazing up at Mina while the doctor flushes at the proximity.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Headlines: Doctor dies due to patient’s breath-taking beauty</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If this is how I go, then thank you God.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Momo interrupts Mina’s inner thoughts as she pinches her cheeks, pulling them up to mimic a grin. “See? Your gummy smile is cute!” causing a pinkish tint to appear on Mina’s cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>Little by little Momo demolishes every single one of Mina’s insecurities. The awkward walk she has that was caused by years of ballet? Momo dubbed it her penguin walk. She even crocheted a tiny penguin for Mina.</p><p> </p><p>The penguin was misshapen and fits perfectly in her palm, looking like a deflated football and its eyes were of different sizes. It was clumsily done. It was lovingly done.</p><p> </p><p>Momo had presented it to her demurely, rubbing the back of her neck “I made this for you, sorry it’s ugly I tried following those YouTube videos but,” she swings the penguin side to side, grimacing “I failed. Sorry, I understand if you don’t want it-” Mina quickly snatches the penguin from Momo, cradling it to her chest.</p><p> </p><p>“No!”</p><p> </p><p>Momo blinks in surprise at Mina’s outburst, the doctor clearing her throat and clarifying “No, I love it. I love it so much, thank you Momo.” Her body moves by itself, going in for a quick hug and feeling Momo pat her back before pulling back, giving Mina a sweet smile.</p><p> </p><p>She gestures towards the penguin held tightly by Mina “Her name is Minguin!”</p><p> </p><p>“Minguin? What’s that?”</p><p> </p><p>Momo laughs “Minguin! You know, Mina plus penguin! It’s Minguin!”</p><p> </p><p>Her absurd reasoning sends Mina into a giggling fit and the older woman jokingly huffs in annoyance “Hey don’t laugh! This is something only a genius can come up with okay!” and she pokes at Mina’s sides causing the doctor to shriek as she was ticklish.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>God she’s perfect</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Since then Mina has attached the little penguin along her lanyard, bringing it wherever she goes. Sometimes she’ll place it on the table while she’s practicing a speech or having lunch, pretending that it was Momo who was with her.</p><p> </p><p>She finds that she doesn’t feel as anxious before a big presentation or during a company dinner anymore because it feels like Momo was there with her, holding her hand.</p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t feel scared or lonely anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Whenever she feels down and drained, she’ll lift Minguin up and talk to it pretending that the penguin understands. Curiously it works and Mina feels lighter after every session with Minguin and so Mina fashions a tiny lab coat for Minguin to ‘wear’ hailing it as Dr Minguin much to Momo’s delight.</p><p> </p><p>How ironic. She’s the doctor but <em>she’s</em> the one getting healed by her patient.</p><p> </p><p>Every single flaw she has, that she <strong>hates</strong>, was loved by Momo making Mina love herself a little more as well. She doesn’t find it hard to sleep anymore, usually going to bed with a smile on her face, giggling like a schoolgirl as she bids a sweet goodnight to Minguin, setting it right next to her pillow so that it'll be the first thing she sees when she wakes.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Really, Mina tried but she was only human. Unable to resist the temptation that was Hirai Momo, she started looking forward to all the meetups she’ll have with Momo, making excuses to fix appointments with her. She was addicted to her presence.     </p><p> </p><p>Momo would mostly grumble about feeling bored and cramped in her room, voicing her longing to get back in the field and solve cases again. Heck she even misses the morning runs her supervisor would force her squad to do.</p><p> </p><p>So, wanting to do something special for Momo, even though it was against the rules, whenever Mina was on night duty, she’ll help Momo onto a wheelchair and bring them both up to the roof which was restricted to patients and most staff<em>. </em>Luckily Mina wasn’t just a normal doctor, brandishing an all access pass given only to a selected few<em>.</em></p><p> </p><p>There, she’ll set out a picnic mat filled with the most heart-attack causing foods which are Momo’s favourites (Mina may or may not have listened in to a few of Sana’s conversations with Momo) and sets the both of them down, making sure Momo was comfortable and warm before laying down next to her.</p><p> </p><p>It felt intimate, to be laying so close to one another that the tips of their fingers briefly touched and if Mina stretches a little further, she could hook her pinky with Momo’s.</p><p> </p><p>But she doesn’t, she feels as though there is an invisible wall between her and Momo, one that she couldn’t, that she <em>shouldn’t</em> cross. So, she settles to look up at the sky, filled with countless stars and listen to Momo ramble excitedly about the constellations.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh! Mitang look! That’s the Big Dipper! And if you look closely, doesn’t that group of stars kind of look like Bulbasaur?” Even though Momo was completely wrong about the constellations <em>That’s definitely not the Big Dipper</em>, Mina found herself getting excited and joining in, making up completely new star signs and laughing when Momo tries to come up with names for them.</p><p> </p><p> It felt good. It felt right, like this was where she was meant to be all along. <em>Just Momoring and Mitang</em>.</p><p> </p><p>She turns her head to look at Momo, watching her point at even more stars and explaining their significance to Mina and how stars came to be.</p><p> </p><p>Mina used to be the president of her middle school’s astronomy club, a whole geek and her room was decorated with various posters she got from NASA. She knows all the constellations by heart, and she knows Momo is bluffing.</p><p> </p><p>It’s ridiculous really, Momo is making a fool out of herself (honestly, there’s no constellation called The Onion) but Mina can’t seem to tear her eyes away from her, feeling hopelessly charmed by this remarkable woman, a fond smile carved onto her face.</p><p> </p><p>They match so well, and Mina has never ever felt this way for anyone. She briefly entertains the thought of them being soulmates. It’s not that farfetched after all.</p><p> </p><p>Momo suddenly looks at Mina and reaches out to touch her face, fingers sliding.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing Momoring?”</p><p> </p><p>Momo traces her face once more replying, her gaze tender “I just realized that your moles look like a constellation. Beautiful.”</p><p> </p><p>Ah. There goes Mina’s heart again.</p><p> </p><p>Hiding her face beneath her hair she watches how the moonlight shines on Momo’s face, giving her this ethereal glow, her blonde hair looks like a halo the way it splayed out and Mina desperately wishes to replace the moon rays with her lips, kissing every inch that she can reach.</p><p> </p><p>She knows she can’t, but she can dream. And right now, as she lies beside Momo, Mina feels as if she can reach the stars themselves.</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>However, Mina was often given a dose of harsh reality whenever she catches a glimpse of the sliver band on Momo’s finger, diamonds gleaming almost tauntingly. She feels ashamed, about feeling the way she does for a taken woman. Sana was always so sweet as well and whenever she sees the two lovebirds together it just leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing the loving eyes Momo directs at Sana sends a pang through Mina’s heart and often the young doctor wonders if she’s feeling a heart attack with how intense it gets. Sometimes the hurt makes Mina just want to curl up on the floor and just lay there, feeling sorry for herself. She finds that she has to look away from the loving scene in front of her, feeling as though she is interrupting something intimate.</p><p> </p><p>She tries to put some distance between Momo and herself, wishing to protect her fragile heart from any heartbreak, pushing a few of her duties on her fellow doctors, making excuses when Momo asks if she would like to join her in the cafeteria and dashing away under the guise of urgent medical attention whenever she runs into Momo.</p><p> </p><p>She even tried taking Minguin off her lanyard only to cave and attach it back quickly unable to bear the sudden emptiness she feels.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, Momo caught on to Mina’s suddenly aloofness and cautiously asked if she was okay. The concern in her voice made Mina smile inwardly, <em>she cares about me</em> was all she could think about and Mina quickly plasters on a fake smile, not wanting to worry her patient and Momo accepted it easily.</p><p> </p><p><em>Fine</em> Mina thought <em>If I can’t have her, then I’ll just make good use of my time with her, I have nothing to lose anyway</em>. Gathering her courage, Mina redoubles her efforts into making Momo happy, doing everything in her power to make sure her smile stays there.</p><p> </p><p>She rushes through tomes of books and online reaches, even chasing after advice from the resident physiotherapist, Jung Jaehyun, on what she could do to help Momo’s progress, whipping out a notebook and scribbling tips.</p><p> </p><p>She’ll join in on Momo’s therapy session and cheer her on as Momo works hard, inching little by little and practicing putting weight on her injured foot as well as working on getting the mobility of her arm back.</p><p> </p><p>Mina even gives massages to Momo to soothe her aching muscles and release tension which Momo appreciates greatly, joking that she secretly practices witchcraft for her touch is able to alleviate Momo of any soreness and pain she was feeling.</p><p> </p><p>Mina loves being so close to Momo, loves that she is able to help her. she loves the fact that she’s the reason why Momo is smiling so contently. She wants to be the one who does all these for Momo.</p><p> </p><p>Mina wishes she was in Sana’s place. But no matter how hard she prays when she sees a shooting star, no matter how many times she wishes during 11:11, Mina knows it will never happen.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>One day Momo had been waiting for Mina to visit her, hands tucked behind her back as if concealing something from the doctor. Mina notices the impish smile on the older woman’s face and decides to humour her. “What do you have over there? Care to share with the class?”</p><p> </p><p>Momo giggles before pulling a notebook from behind her, waving it excitedly in front of Mina. “Tada! This is Myoui Mina’s records!” At Mina’s confused stare, Momo hurriedly continues “You knew all about me before we even talked, right? Since you had my medical records, so-” She puffs up in pride “I decided to write down little titbits of you in this book, everything from your favourite condiment, <em>ew </em>Ketchup” Momo shudders dramatically “to your thinking habits! Did you know you pout when you’re in deep thought? Bet you don’t!”</p><p> </p><p>Momo pushes the notebook in Mina’s arms “For you!”</p><p> </p><p>Mina glances down at the notebook and takes in its details as if she was in a daze. It was decorated in stickers, mostly from Barbie and ‘MYOUI MINA’ had been written in glitter ink, letting it sparkle under the florescent light.</p><p> </p><p>She flips the book open, thumbing through the pages. Momo had taken to sketching all over the book, drawing her impressions of Mina while she works, an arrow pointing at her with ‘DR MITANG’ written on top.</p><p> </p><p>There were other sketches of Mina in different poses, all with details so startling accurate.</p><p> </p><p>One of them showing her knitting, the other showing her concentrated face with a tongue sticking out as she games. Momo even drew of Mina doing ballet, drawing Mina’s eyes were blissfully closed, smile so wide her eyes crinkle as she does a pirouette. Mina notices that among the faceless crowd drawn in the background there was one of Momo (NO.1 SUPPORTER scribbled on her shirt), who was holding a banner and throwing roses at the stage.</p><p> </p><p>The next page had a sketch of Mina laughing, gums out with a small depiction of Minguin sitting on top of her head. ‘CUTE SMILE &lt;3’</p><p> </p><p>Mina didn’t even realize that her hands started trembling, small droplets of tears fell, splashing on pages slightly and Mina hastily wipes them away, afraid of smudging Momo’s hard work. She ignores the small noise of concern from Momo and offers a watery smile before returning her attention to the notebook.</p><p> </p><p>There was a small section dedicated to a brief description of Mina, covered on glitter and little penguins in rollerblades was drawn to decorate it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Myoui Mina (Mitang)</em>
</p>
<ul>
<li><em>Best Doctor in SNUH</em></li>
<li><em>Prettiest Smile (Gummy!)</em></li>
<li><em>So smart (Solves the crossword in 5 mins, amazing!)</em></li>
<li><em>LEGO enthusiast – particularly Stranger Things and Harry Potter</em></li>
<li><em>Has a little cactus called Cactus-chan (A small drawing of a cactus with a mini Mina watering it lovingly)</em></li>
<li>
<em>Magic hands – Great at knitting (I’m Jealous </em><em>☹) and massages (heavenly)</em>
</li>
<li><em>Loves Ketchup, dips it in EVERYTHING (Finally, I found a flaw of hers x.x)</em></li>
<li><em>Loves lame jokes </em></li>
<li><em>Favourite colour: Mint</em></li>
<li>
<em>Age: 24 but acts like she’s 90 </em><em>😉</em>
</li>
<li><em>Loves avocado now thanks to me :D</em></li>
<li><em>Her moles look prettier than the stars in the nightsky (Don't tell Sana &gt;.&lt;)</em></li>
<li>
<em>Momo’s beloved friend </em><em>😊 (I’m so happy I met you, you're precious to me)</em>
</li>
</ul><p>
  <em>P.S. Let’s stay in touch okay? (A drawing of Momo and Mina laying under the night sky, Momoring and Mitang written in the stars)</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>She couldn’t hold back the sob that had been building in the back of her throat, knees buckling, and she feels someone wrapping her in a warm embrace.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“What’s wrong? Do you not like it?” Mina shakes her head furiously, pushing herself deeper into Momo’s arms “I love it, so, so much. T-thank you” Mina’s tears stain Momo’s shirt, her apologies being waved off.</p><p> </p><p>"You're so silly Mitang, don't cry okay? It hurts to see you sad."</p><p> </p><p><em>You’re so unfair…how can you expect me not to fall in love? </em>Mina thoughts as she tries to pull away, feeling embarrassed at losing it in front of her crush.</p><p> </p><p>Momo just holds her tighter.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>For every inch that she takes to get closer to Momo she feels like she’s being pushed ten steps back from the unrelenting force called Minatozaki Sana.</p><p> </p><p>There were times where Mina was nearly swallowed up by guilt, especially when Sana would greet her cheerfully, her brown eyes which was usually so warm and inviting seemed harsh and interrogative nowadays.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Think good thoughts Mina, don’t think about Momo. Think about clouds! Clouds are kind of like cotton candy, aren’t they? Momo loves cotton can-ah! Stop! God you’re hopeless Myoui.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>She’ll grasp Minguin tightly, swallowing hard whenever Sana looks at her like she was trying to find something. Whatever it was that Sana saw, it was enough to satisfy her curiosity.</p><p> </p><p>She points at Minguin, happily chirping “Ah. Momo made one for you too?” Sana reaches for her handbag and brandishes it, proudly showing off a little dog crochet. At least Mina assumes it was a dog, it was honestly hard to tell.</p><p> </p><p>“Momo made this cute little Shiba for me! Isn’t she the sweetest? She said I kinda looked like one!”</p><p> </p><p>Oh.</p><p> </p><p>So, Mina wasn’t special.</p><p> </p><p>She looks down at Minguin who seems to lose a little of its magic. Of course, Momo made one for Sana, that’s her <em>fiancée</em> and Mina…Mina is just her doctor.</p><p> </p><p>What was she thinking? That she somehow mattered to Momo?</p><p> </p><p>No, she can’t think like that. Momo made this for <em>her. </em>it was made for <em>her</em> in mind. It <strong>is </strong>special, Momo gave a little piece of herself to Mina to keep. Momo cares about her. Minguin is special.</p><p> </p><p>Mina offers a weak smile, pushing Minguin into her coat, keeping it out of sight before uttering a quick excuse of needing to make her rounds and leaving as soon as possible.</p><p> </p><p>The next day, the receptionist offers Mina a bundle of letters and gift boxes. She quickly reads the tag and finds out it was from Sana. There were numerous handwritten notes thanking her for always taking care of her Moguri and the gift boxes contained soft yarn and some rare Lego sets that Mina had been eyeing. There was a note attached to the Lego sets and she skims through it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear Minari, (Is it okay that I call you Minari? I’ve seen you so many times I feel that we’ve become close and it’s not fair that only Momo has a nickname for you &gt;&lt;)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hi it’s Sana! I bought these Lego sets as a thank you for doing so much for Momo! She always tells me how helpful and sweet you are to her whenever I visit TT thanks for taking care of my baby and making sure she isn’t lonely :D Momo is shy so I’m glad she has a friend at the hospital ^^</em>
</p><p><em>I’m not a Lego fan so I didn’t know what to get so Momo helped me :D She said that you mentioned you wanted the sets from this series right? It’s a collector’s item and so hard to find </em> <em>☹ I couldn’t get the latest one sorry…So I bought one from Star Wars! Momo mentioned you like the challenging ones! You have good taste :3</em></p><p>
  <em>Also, I went to one of those handicrafts shops to buy those yarns. They’re so soft!!!!!! I chose the prettiest colours – Don’t worry I bought the mint coloured ones, they’re your favourite right?</em>
</p><p><em>Ehehe I hope you like these gifts </em> <em>😊 Please enjoy! (I snuck in some yogurt jellies for Momo, please give some to her! Don’t let her eat everything at once &gt;&lt;)</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Thanks again &lt;3</em>
</p>
<ul>
<li><em>Minatozaki Sana</em></li>
</ul><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Mina gently sets down the note. So, Sana gave her nickname too huh. <em>Minari </em>she thinks to herself, <em>it’s a cute name but it doesn’t feel as good as Mitang…maybe because Momo is the one who says it. </em>She was unable to hold back the biting rush of resentment, Sana has done nothing wrong and has always been good and courteous to Mina, but she has something that Mina desperately wishes for but can never get and that was enough for Mina to hate her slightly.</p><p> </p><p>She feels sickened by what she has become. Was she ever the type to be overwhelmed by jealousy? She doesn’t know, she’s never loved someone so deeply and maddeningly before.</p><p> </p><p>Mina keeps all the notes at the back of her locker, unable to stomach it because she’s doing it with an ulterior motive and doesn’t deserve the thanks she got. Sometimes she can’t even stand seeing herself in the mirror, disgusted at what she’s doing but she can’t stop.</p><p> </p><p>Not when Momo makes her feel like she’s at the top of the world.</p><p> </p><p>She goes to work with a spring in her steps and even her colleagues have remarked that Dr Myoui has started smiling more often these days, seemingly in shock. It was a sight so rare that Mina was named ‘Ice Queen’ ever since she started working here.</p><p> </p><p>She soon became a favourite gossip topic; the nosy nurses would crowd around during break times roping in the doctors as well to discuss <em>who</em> was the reason for the loving smile on Mina’s face. Everyone was hellbent on finding out the identity of Mina’s mysterious lover.</p><p> </p><p>Mina had walked in on a few on those discussion before, standing by the doorway as she listens intently to what they were saying.</p><p> </p><p>Normally she would have shut them down and write up reports towards HR for unprofessional behaviour. But now? She indulges in a small daydream, a little pleased that people would think that she’s in a relationship with Momo, though they don’t know who she is.</p><p> </p><p>She uncaps her ThermoFlask and fills it slowly, feet tapping out a cheerful rhythm. Mina dreamily think of Momo, whistling out a happy tune and eagerly bounces to her next schedule; the faster she finishes her other duties the faster she can get to spend time with Momo.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Alas, all good things must come to an end.</p><p> </p><p>Soon her six months was up and Momo was ready to be discharged, the day that Mina had dreaded the most.</p><p> </p><p>Momo was packing up her bags, happily humming under her breath when Mina approached her slowly, trying to extend the time she has with her patient.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Doc! What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>Mina shoved a bouquet into Momo’s arms, the tip of her ears turning pink “Erm, I-I’m just here to see you off.” Momo stares at the flowers, simple lilacs and she smiles widely, holding them up to her nose for a sniff.</p><p> </p><p>“Aw thanks! Why, don’t tell me you’ll actually miss me!” Momo winks teasingly and Mina shoves her weakly, desperately trying to hide her blush. “S-shut up! Gosh you’re so annoying, I don’t know how Sana is able to stand you.”</p><p> </p><p>Momo freezes at the question, mulling over a bit as she stands up straight, running a hand through her blonde tresses before musing to herself “I don’t know either to be honest…I thank my lucky stars each day that she loves me.” Momo started smiling at the thought of Sana, eyes crinkling up from joy. “Man can’t believe I’m finally out of here, I can’t wait to have some pizza and Jokbal and cider and-” Momo starts rattling off on the list of food she’s been dying to have.</p><p> </p><p>Mina watches her with a fond smile, trying to memorize Momo’s features lest this be the last time she sees her. Her moment was broken when a shrill “Moguri!” was shouted and Momo perks up brightly, dropping Mina’s bouquet on the floor and dashing over to hug Sana, twirling her around much to the younger woman’s delight judging by the squeals. Mina looks away when Sana brings their faces together for a kiss, heart clenching as she looks at the lilacs on the floor.</p><p> </p><p>The flowers looked trampled, like her heart.</p><p> </p><p>The happy couple looked lost in their own world as Sana helped sling Momo’s duffel bag over her shoulder, playfully chiding Momo to not overexert herself or she won’t get cuddles and Momo’s cheerful “Yes ma’am!” as they walk off with one final wave at Mina, who stands there pathetically as she watches the object of her affections leave.</p><p> </p><p>She realizes that she never got Momo’s phone number.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>PRESENT</strong>
</p><p>Back then she never thought she would see Momo ever again and wallowed in self-pity and heartache for months. She would burst into tears whenever she sees stars in the night sky, affectionately tracing out the one that Momo dubbed The Onion and feeling the broken pieces o fher heart crack even further. She finds out that she couldn’t eat any of Momo’s favourite food without thinking of her, once she even imagined Momo's face onto a piece of jokbal. She even started placing mayonnaise onto her dishes, forgoing ketchup. Anything just to feel a little closer to Momo.</p><p> </p><p>Mina reckons she's gone mad.</p><p> </p><p>There was once when she had accidentally misplaced Minguin in the drycleaners and panicked. Mina had flipped the whole house upside down, heart lurching sickly in her chest and cried when she found it as the little penguin spotted a little hole at its side. She was unable to find the exact yarn colour that Momo used so now Minguin had a red patch on it. Mina now carries Minguin wherever she goes, unwilling to separate from the little piece of Momo that she has with her.</p><p> </p><p>Momo had irrefutably forced her way into Mina’s life, the latter able to see the officer in every nook and cranny, seemingly unable to escape her hold.</p><p> </p><p>She had hoped that she would eventually run into Momo again, often loitering suspiciously around the stores that Momo had recommended to her when she was still in the hospital but to no avail. She even thought about calling the police station just to hear Momo’s voice but decided against it since it’ll be too creepy.</p><p> </p><p>Days, weeks, months and then years past and she soon gave up hope of ever running into the elusive officer. Disliking how Mina was always single, she was sent on several blind dates set up by her parents, but none ever worked out.</p><p> </p><p>Mainly because Mina doesn’t like men, something her parents just refuses to acknowledge. Always pushing her onto the sons of family friends. It’s been years since she came out to her parents but anything relating to her sexuality was coldly shut down while they extended yet another invitation to a meet up with a man of their choosing.</p><p> </p><p>One of Mina’s friends, Eunha, heard of her predicament and tried to set her up with a close friend, asking Mina to just give it a try. There was nothing with her date; she was stunning and lovely, able to hold intelligent conversations and didn’t laugh when Mina mentions she likes going to bed early.</p><p> </p><p>She was cute. But she wasn’t Momo and Mina only wants Momo.</p><p> </p><p>She was resigned to being lonely and heartbroken forever.</p><p> </p><p>But look at her now, in bed with the love of her life. Mina smiles gleefully and places a few kisses across Momo’s collarbones, letting one linger on the bullet scar. It surely must be fate for them to find each other again. Now that she has Momo, she’s never going to let go. Losing her once was enough.</p><p> </p><p>Smiling giddily, she then continues her journey down Momo’s body, placing soft kisses reverently on each scar her girlfriend has accumulated until she comes across the nasty jagged looking scar near her navel that looks around 7 inches and deep.</p><p> </p><p><em>Oh. This one</em>. This injury was the actual reason behind her reunion with Momo after five long years.</p><p> </p><p>The older woman had been attacked and was slumped over in a dark alley, a hunting knife sticking out from her abdomen, bleeding profusely before a passer-by took notice of her and called an ambulance towards Mina’s hospital, administrating basic first aid to try and stem the blood flow.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>PAST</strong>
</p><p>Mina was just about to clocked off, feeling dead on her feet and planning to binge the latest Netflix series when she sees a familiar figure being rushed in and before she knew it, she was snapping on surgical gloves and preparing to operate on Momo. She notices a silver band glittering on her fourth finger and she slowly easing it off in preparation for the MRI scan Momo must undergo later.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>So, they got married huh? Good for them.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Noting that this wasn’t the time to be disgruntled, she looks over Momo’s injuries. Whoever did this have considerably strength, dealing such hard blows, enough to shatter Momo’s kneecaps as well as twist her arm out of its sockets judging from the bruises that form in the shape of a hand.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What have you gotten yourself into Momoring?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The woman had woken up midway into the operation, gasping for Sana weakly and writhing before the nurse increased the anesthesia dosage. Her eyelids flutter and she fell back onto the operating table still mouthing the word Sana.</p><p> </p><p>When she came to, Mina was by her bedside and joking said “We really have to stop meeting like this.” And was caught but surprised when Momo surged up, yanking at her IV tubes, yelling frantically “Sana! Sana!” She struggles to sit upright, wheezing in pain as she clutches her wound, the bandages seeping with blood.</p><p> </p><p>Mina quickly pushes Momo back down and readjusts her tubes, soothing her “Momo, hey it’s okay. You’re safe here. And Sana isn’t here, sorry, just plain ol’ Mina. Remember me? I was your doctor five years ago.” She chuckles weakly and casts a worried glance towards the heart monitor, seeing it spike dangerously. Mina pulls the ring out of her scrubs and slides it towards Momo “Here, sorry I had to take it off just now. And congratulations.”</p><p> </p><p>The sight of the wedding ring seems to set Momo off. She let out a gut-wrenching wail and dissolves into tears, trashing about. She picks up a pillow and hurls it towards the doctor, screaming incoherently. Mina had to request backup to hold Momo down just so she could change the soiled bandage.</p><p> </p><p>The officer refuses to talk to anyone, choosing to wrap the hospital blanket around her like a cocoon. Even the police commissioner couldn’t get a statement from Momo regarding her attack, she just let out an inhumane growl as she tried lunging towards him, spitting out “Traitor! I trusted you!” and had to be held back forcibly and sedated. That didn’t seem to stop her as she continues kicking at the air, trying to charge at her boss before the medication took effect and sagging in the arms of the security guards.</p><p> </p><p>Mina tucks Momo back into bed, hands fixing her bangs as she looks down at the face she’s been dreaming of. Seeing Momo like this sent a pang of fear and pain through her heart. <em>What’s going on? </em>This wasn’t the Momo she knew, she eyes the unconscious figure warily.</p><p> </p><p><em>What happened to her? Who hurt her like this? </em>She bites the inside of her cheeks <em>I’ll let her rest for now and leave the questions for when she wakes up.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Mina inches towards the door, pausing for a moment and throwing one last look at the incapacitated officer before reaching for the doorknob, leaving with a heavy heart.</p><p> </p><p>After making the required calls to Momo’s family to inform them that Momo was injured and asking if they would like to visit, she found out that Momo’s sister, Hana, was nearby as she planned on visiting her sister and arranged for her to head down immediately.</p><p> </p><p>Hanging up, Mina slides her finger down the registry to see if there’s anyone she missed.</p><p> </p><p>“Hirai Hana, Hirai Asashi, Hirai Yukino-” Mina frowns. <em>Where’s Sana’s name? </em>She was pretty sure they got married as it’s been years, so why wasn’t Sana listed as one of Momo’s emergency contacts? Perhaps there was a mistake in the system? But no matter how many times Mina refreshed the records, Sana’s name didn’t pop up. Mina leans back on her chair and drums her fingers restlessly. Perhaps she’ll bring it up when Hana arrives.</p><p> </p><p>Mina’s pager suddenly came to life and she peeks down, seeing an urgent request for her to swing by the reception desk and she quickly gathers her materials and strides off hurriedly, wondering what she was needed for.</p><p> </p><p>Turning around the corner, she hears raised voices and spies a short haired woman with a baby strapped to her chest speaking in broken Korean. “Yes. I Hana! Momo?!” Mina deduces that this was Momo’s sister and makes her way towards her, speaking in Japanese.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, are you Hirai Hana?”</p><p> </p><p>Hana perks up at the familiar language and nods rapidly. “Yes, that’s me! I’m here for my sister, Momo. Are you the one who called me?” Mina nods and turns towards the receptionist “She’s the sister of my patient so she’s coming with me. Can you give her a visitor’s pass please?”</p><p> </p><p>One Hana secures the visitor tag on herself; Mina leads them towards the room that Momo was currently staying in, halting at the door as she cautiously brought up the topic of Sana’s whereabouts.</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me miss Hirai but do you know where Momo’s wife is? I couldn’t contact her and Momo had been calling out for her when she woke up.”</p><p> </p><p>Hana’s eyes widen as her eyes darted towards the room, eyebrows dipping in distress. Dropping her voice to a whisper, Hana leaned in close “Momo…was calling for Sana?” At the doctor’s nod, Hana stumbles back against the wall and brings one hand to cradle the back of the baby’s head while pressing the other against her face, breathing shakily. She gathers herself for a moment before speaking again, voice strained with emotion.</p><p> </p><p>“S-Sana…she’s gone. She died last month, murdered-” Hana lets out a shuddering sigh, gesturing to the sleeping baby strapped in front of her “This is their daughter, Tzuyu.” Mina covers her mouth in shock, staggering backwards slightly.</p><p> </p><p>That explains why her name was wiped from Momo’s records, because she was <em>deceased</em>. She glances towards the baby, eyes softening. It’s not fair for the child to grow up without knowing her mother and she cannot imagine the stress and pain Momo was going through.</p><p> </p><p>Mina squeezes her eyes shut, recalling the heartache and desperation in Momo’s voice as she screamed for Sana.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>S-Sana! Sana?!</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Mina realizes that one thing didn’t make sense. “If Sana was murdered, w-why wasn’t it reported on the news?” The question was out before Mina could stop herself and she prays she wasn’t overstepping any boundaries.</p><p> </p><p>Ever since she started medical school Mina had made it a habit to watch the news while she has some breakfast as well as before she goes to bed, frequently noting down important events concerning her professions as well as natural disasters. Surely, she would have known about a murder in the country she’s residing in, especially the murder of a woman.</p><p> </p><p>Mina narrows her eyes; the baby looked about a month old give or take, though a little on the small side. <em>Was Sana pregnant when she was killed?</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Hana lets out a rueful laugh, eyes hardening “It was covered up by the police. Apparently, there wasn’t enough evidence to rule it as murder, so it was labelled as a freak accident. Really? How does someone accidentally end up with 4 bullets in them?” She slams a fist against the wall, startling the baby who began to fuss. Hana gently sways the child as she mutters “That’s why Momo’s been so reckless lately. She wants to track the bastard down even if her squad can’t help.”</p><p> </p><p>She pushes herself off the wall and lumbered towards Momo’s room, sending a tense smile apologetically at the doctor “Sorry for dumping so much info on you, I’ll go check on my sister now.” She gives a quick bow, carefully not to disturb the baby “Thank you for helping her.” With that, Hana pushed the door opened and left Mina to ponder silently.</p><p> </p><p>Momo had demanded to be released from the hospital as soon as possible and even tried climbing out of the window to escape confinement. Mind you she was on the 10<sup>th</sup> floor, an accidental slip would mean death. She had even tried jumping off the roof, reasoning that she would rather have broken legs and being able to continue tracking down the bastard (She’ll get him even if she has to crawl) then being cooped up in the hospital and just idly waiting for the justice that won’t come.</p><p> </p><p>Threats and pleas from her family members as well as her doctors fell on death ears as Momo kept trying various methods of leaving, even tackling a nurse and speeding away only to be caught by a doctor making his rounds. She was about to throw him over her shoulder when she heard a baby cry out. Momo froze and slowly turn her head to the right, spotting a distressed Hana standing behind a pillar with Tzuyu cradled in her arms, the baby upset at the loud commotion as she squirms restlessly.</p><p> </p><p>The sight of her daughter seems to calm Momo down, she releases the poor doctor from her hold and she was willingly led back into her room.</p><p> </p><p>Mina, not wanting to see Momo hurt herself anymore, brought up a request for early release with the hospital director under the conditions that Mina would personally make sure that Momo heals up properly at her own residence with a small team.</p><p> </p><p>The hospital director, Kim Taeyeon, was initially very hesitant. Who in their right minds would just willingly release a patient who exhibits suicidal tendencies on top of severe depression? It would be irresponsible as well as scandalous should a patient die under their watch. However, Mina has a good track record and was one of the brightest doctors under her, if anyone could handle this case it would be her.</p><p> </p><p>With that Taeyeon signed on the form, giving the reins over to Mina.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s in your care now Dr Myoui.”</p><p> </p><p>Mina nods gratefully, pleased that her request was granted but also worried about Momo’s current mental state. She has her work cut out for her but she’s not going to give up. She knows her Momo is still somewhere deep inside and she's going to get her back.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>PRESENT</strong>
</p><p>Till today she never really got the full story behind this injury, like who did it, why was she in such a secluded alley in the first place but Momo would always try to change the topic whenever she brings it up.</p><p> </p><p>She purses her lips, she really hopes Momo would share her burdens with her. They were a team, now aren’t they? She absentmindedly started tracing the stab wound and shouted in pain when Momo suddenly jerks awake and twists the hand Mina had on her abdomen.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah!”</p><p> </p><p>Mina’s pained cry snapped Momo out of her haze, the older woman cradling her hand apologetically. She brought Mina’s hand up to her lips, planting kisses across her palm and mumbling “Sorry, sorry”. She softly massages the bruising area “I’m so sorry, I was having a bad dream and thought you were attacking me.” She rubs her eyes and Mina notices just how tired Momo looks with bony cheekbones and dark circles under her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>She reaches out with her uninjured hand and smooths out the furrowed brow on Momo’s face “Hey, it’s alright. You’re safe here.” She drops her hand onto her lap “Have you been eating well? Looks like you lost weight” Mina pouts slightly “I miss your chubby cheeks.”</p><p> </p><p>Momo’s lips twitches up in a ghost of a smile, ready to tease.</p><p> </p><p>“Mommy?”</p><p> </p><p>Both adults turned towards the source of the sound, hearing a soft knock and a small muffled voice behind them. “Give us a moment!” Momo calls out as she rushes to get dressed, tossing a nightgown towards Mina to don. She smoothed down her dishevelled hair before opening the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey what’s wrong kiddo?” Tzuyu stands before her, teary eyes wide and shaking slightly. Momo inches towards her daughter and Tzuyu made uppy arms, whining softly until Momo scoops her up in a hug that Tzuyu was craving for. The toddler basically launching herself at Momo, latching onto her tight.</p><p> </p><p>“Mommy…” Tzuyu mumbles into her embrace, tucking her head further into Momo’s neck and Momo tightens her hold on her daughter, breathing in the smell of her shampoo before carrying her towards Mina and setting Tzuyu on the bed, sandwiched by the two women.</p><p> </p><p>When Momo slides herself back under the covers, Tzuyu snuggled in close with Minjoong squashed between her and held on tight as if Momo would disappear the moment she lets go. “Bad dream?” Mina questions, stroking the back of Tzuyu’s head and the toddler nods, trembling slightly and unwilling to elaborate.</p><p> </p><p>Not wanting to pressure her, Mina left it at that and opts to spoon Tzuyu from behind, humming softly to soothe the toddler, patting her back in a rhythmic motion trying to lull her back to sleep. Tzuyu squirms about, peering uneasily at the direction of her bedroom. “There was a monster…looking at me-” she tugs at Momo’s shirt “Mama wasn’t there to help me.”</p><p> </p><p>Hearing Tzuyu call for her, Mina scoots nearer and speaks in a hushed tone. “Sorry baby, Mama is here now okay?” Tzuyu shakes her head “Not you Mama,” Tzuyu places the tips of Minjoong’s ears into her mouth, her next words were muffled “the other Mama is not here today.”</p><p> </p><p>The two women looked at each other in confusion. Was Tzuyu talking about her imaginary friend? There’s only the three of them living here.</p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu lets out a slight whimper when she sees a shadow lurking at the hallway and thinking fast Momo quickly tugs the blanket up over their heads, whispering “It’s okay baby, I’ll cast a magic spell on this blanket so no one can hurt you here.”</p><p> </p><p>Momo squeezes her eyes shut in concentration, hands waving wildly.</p><p> </p><p>“Zimzalabim!”</p><p> </p><p>Mina snorts in laughter and Momo pointedly looked away from her, glancing back down at her daughter “There! Now this blanket will protect you from anyone, even the monsters!”</p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu puffs up her cheeks in thought and stares at her hands before asking “Can I do magic too?” Momo nods sagely “Of course, you’re my daughter! Our family came from a long line of witches,” She spreads her fingers out and wiggles them “If you ever feel afraid just do this and say ‘Zimzalabim!’ and you’ll be protected.”</p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu wiggles her fingers just like how Momo showed her and looks up at Momo in wonder, causing her mother to avert her gaze slightly, unable to bear how brown her eyes are as they remind her of <em>someone</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“W-weally?”</p><p> </p><p>Momo nods jerkily, “Yeah, I promise. I always cast this spell before working so I can come home to you safe and sound. And I will never let anyone hurt you as long as I’m here.”</p><p> </p><p>And Momo means it with every inch of her being.</p><p> </p><p>She already lost her wife and she’ll be damned if anything happened to her little one. She pulls Tzuyu even closer to her, gaze darkening. Mina lifts a brow in confusion at the sudden change in her girlfriend’s mood.</p><p> </p><p>She gently nudges Momo and the older woman just shakes her head, shuffling down to make herself comfortable besides Tzuyu and tugging Mina down with her. With her family safe and sound in her arms, Momo feels herself drifting off with one final thought echoing in her head.</p><p> </p><p>She’ll die before anyone lays a hand on her family.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi guys! I tried writing as fast as I could and I present to you: Mina's backstory :D I hope you guys like it! It's quite long compared to the other chapters since I wanted to fit in more information, the next chapters would be shorter than this TT. Would you want more backstories? Let me know!</p><p>I'm more active on Twitter and I hope this would work, if you like please use #TwiceMeetAgain to share your thoughts! I felt motivated by your comments.</p><p>See you guys next time! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mina was excited, extremely so. Tzuyu on the other hand, was not. They were attending the orientation of the preschool that Momo had wanted to enrol Tzuyu in alongside many other weary parents and their energetic tykes. They were all touring around the school, marvelling at the spacious outdoors and the playground facilities before shuffling inside the respective classrooms their children had been assigned to.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The adults said to stay close to them but their words fell upon deaf ears as their children were busy rushing around the room and checking out the toys on display, knocking over crayons and scattering paper much to their parents’ distress. Someone had been pushed over and started wailing and it was hard to hear anyone over the din in the classroom. Tzuyu hugged Minjoong closer towards her as she takes in the chaos surrounding her and she snuggles towards Mina’s legs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu did uppy arms and Mina obliged, quickly scooping the toddler up so she would be out of harm’s way. Tzuyu likes it when she was held, she feels tall and warm. While Mina was busy swaying Tzuyu from side to side, Sana makes quick work of surveying the room.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She was pleasantly surprised to see that it was bright and colourful. The ambiance felt welcoming and playful, perfect for a child.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The classroom was decorated with posters from shows and artworks from the previous batch were still displayed along with a small giraffe measuring chart plastered at one corner. She wonders how much Tzuyu has grown now. She peeks down at the anxious child in Mina’s arms forlornly, her baby is growing so quickly and she’s going to school now. It feels like just yesterday when Tzuyu had tried to take her first steps, stumbling into Momo’s outstretched arms with Sana crying beside her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No! I want her to stay little forever!” Sana wraps her arms around Mina as if trying to freeze them in this moment. The younger woman shivers slightly and pulls her coat tighter around her frame.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hmm the air conditioning is freezing here; I’ll better make sure Tzuyu wears a jacket to class.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Noticing something, Mina points to one of the posters “Tzuyu look! Isn’t that Panda from we bare bears?” This peaks the little girl’s interest; she peers over Mina’s shoulders curiously and nods in agreement but points towards another poster, one depicting Doraemon happily munching on a dorayaki.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hungwy…” she whines, and Mina quickly sets them down on one of the chairs set up by the teachers. Mina places the small backpack with a paw print that she bought for Tzuyu on the chair and unzips it, pulling out a bento box she packed this morning. Sana hovers behind her, curiously sneaking glances at the bento box and started giving out a commentary on the food items Mina made.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wow wow wow! Today’s menu includes bear sandwiches! I hope Mina made them with jam, you like jam, don’t you? Oh, look Tzu-tzu! Jelly cups! Aren’t they your favourites? Mmm, it looks so good” Sana leans forward to press breathy kisses against Tzuyu’s chubby cheeks only for the little one to flinch back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ah sorry baby, I forgot its too cold for you.” Sana pouts, resigning herself to stand at least five steps away from Tzuyu, shuffling her shoe on the floor dejectedly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina settles down besides Tzuyu, the toddler opting to wiggle her way onto the woman’s lap, back pressed against her. She then reaches for one of Mina’s arms and wraps it around her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The toddler blows her bangs out of her face, annoyed when it keeps flopping back over her eyes and she swipes at it angrily. Mina uses the hairband on her wrist to gently collect her bangs and ties it up. Her bangs resembling a sprout now and Mina smiles at the cuteness of it all, resisting the urge to pinch her chubby cheeks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The woman picks up a neatly wrapped kimbap piece with her chopstick and offers it to Tzuyu, mouth opening widely. “Say aaah.” Tzuyu mimics her action and Mina quickly pops the piece in, murmuring her approval at Tzuyu’s obedience. She tucks the child closer to her, securing her in place as well as enjoying the proximity. Tzuyu seems unusually clingy today, maybe because she’s nervous to be around so many strangers and seeks comfort from the older woman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Well I’m certainly not complaining </em>Mina smiles down at Tzuyu, bouncing her lightly in her lap “Good?” Tzuyu nods as she chews thoughtfully, mouth opening again to ask for another piece which Mina happily feeds it to her, pleased that her cooking was a success and that Tzuyu didn’t notice the vegetable she sneakily snuck in. Tzuyu’s starting to get picky with her food and copies Momo by pushing away any veggie she sees on her plate. Mina had to force Momo to eat a broccoli in front of the toddler before Tzuyu would hesitantly take a bite before realizing that she actually likes the taste.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu wiggles Minjoong and points out that the green on his coat matches the green in the kimbap. She looks up at Mina “Am I eating Minjoong’s fur?” Mina chuckles and shakes her head, amused “No baby, it’s green because Minjoong helped me with the cooking! That’s why it’s green like him.” The explanation seems to satisfy the toddler as she leans forward towards the chopstick in search of the next bite.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The door slides open and a woman steps in, adjusting her glasses as she claps twice to call attention over to her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hello everyone, sorry I’m late! Welcome to Sunshine Preschool! I’m Kim Dahyun, you can call me miss Kim and I would be your teacher starting the term. Also, I have something that I think you guys will like!” The spirited teacher bounces over to the children to wave hello, passing out little packets of gummies out to them, quickly winning over the kids.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They rushed over to miss Kim and she quickly instructs them to line up, saying that only good kids who listens to their teachers would get candy. That immediately sets them straight and they waited patiently as she hands the gummies out. It was frankly amazing to witness how she wrangles a horde of hyper toddlers into behaving and seeing how good the teacher was with their kids seems to settle the parent’s unspoken worries of whether this school would be a good match for their children and they were relieved that the teacher’s energy seems to match with their kids.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Most were looking forward to finally being able to have some peace and quiet, exhausted at keeping up with their lively gremlins.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana nods in approval at her methods. She used to be a kindergarten teacher before she died, and she remembers bribing children with stickers, candy and toys to get them to behave. Sana shoves her hands into her pockets and sighs longingly. “I wonder how my class has been doing. They should be in elementary school by now.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>In fact, Tzuyu’s new classroom strongly resembles the one that Sana used to work in except Sana had a little treasure box filled with toys that she’ll give out to students who did their work well. She also had a chart by the door with “Handshake, Hug and Forehead kiss” written on it and her students would point to one of the three options for a morning greeting from Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She would kneel to eye level and say, “Good morning!” before the student would chirp it back at her and point to their preferred greeting and Sana would happily oblige, giving out bear hugs, a cool handshake or a tender kiss on their forehead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Some of her kids who come from neglectful families especially look forward to her hugs, soaking in the warmth and love offered by the bubbly woman. Craving for a smidge of affection.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana really loved her job even though there were days where she went home with glue and glitter stuck in her hair or with dried paint splattered all over her favourite clothes. It took forever to wash paint out of her hair and face as well, often looking like a rainbow had threw up all over her or more accurately as Momo would put it, a clown.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She has also spent a fortune on purchasing art materials as well as getting toys that her students liked. She’ll browse through aisle filled with kid’s merchandise, deciding which to get while Momo busies herself with the Barbie section, adding to her ever growing collection of creepy dolls. Children’s interest is fickle and one moment they like Ultraman and the next they like Pokémon so Sana had taken to binging cartoon shows as “research” and Momo would often join her, the two of them huddle around their TV under a blanket, cozying up against each other.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was fun to interact with the little ones and hearing their squeals of joy as she tickles them or the “Miss Minatozaki! Miss Minatozaki!” as they tugged on her workshop apron and eagerly guided her towards their masterpiece, chest puffed out with pride as they waited for her praise.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana would always examine the art pieces carefully, letting out “wow!” and “amazing!” before turning towards her students and praising them for a job well done. She loves how her kids would brighten up at her praise and cheerfully skip off, bragging to their friends that “Miss Minatozaki said she loved it!” and showing off the glittery sticker plastered on top of their work gleefully.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She’s seen how as children get older, the less amazed and excited their parents get with their achievement. Downgrading from a “Well done! Let’s put it up on the fridge!” to a “Oh, that’s nice” and she notices how the child would get dejected and feel discouraged from doing their best in school.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>One of her students had ran up to her father and showed off her spelling test, showing the neat 9/10 encircled at the very top. Instead of commending his daughter he instead questioned why she got the last question wrong and frowned in disappointment, muttering that he has to start looking for tutors lest his daughter falls behind.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So, Sana has made it her personal mission to hype up all her kids, cheering them on and making them feel loved to make up for any lack of from their parents. She doesn’t mind acting as a cheerleader for them and the resulting grins were gratifying.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The world needs more smiles after all.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She still had so much she wanted to share with her class, she even wanted to bring up the suggestion of an excursion to the zoo when she overheard one of her students mentioning that she’s never seen an otter before. She even wanted Momo to drop by the kindergarten to give a talk on traffic rules and the importance of never jaywalking.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She imagined her Momo all dressed up in her striking uniform and trying to maintain a stern face while teaching a class of five-year olds how to use the zebra crossing when the kids would be more interested in climbing all over Momo like she was a jungle gym. Sana would smile adoringly as she witnesses how Momo would play along with her class, softly stroking her rounded stomach as she imagines how Momo would be like with their own baby.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And then she’ll pull Momo aside and give her a kiss as thanks for her hard work, pulling down her cap and obscuring their faces while her class jeer at the display of affection, some of them pulling disgusted faces.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had so many plans.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And then she was murdered, all her hopes and dreams gone up in smoke. Just like that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t even get to read the new book she bought for her class. She had promised them a Storytime session as a reward for their good behaviour. She even crafted little finger puppets to put on a little show.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She wished she had more time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana exhales slowly, well no point dwelling in the past. All that’s going to achieve is bring up regrets and put her in a bad mood for the rest of the day.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She directs her attention to Tzuyu’s future teacher who approaches the back where Mina and Tzuyu were sitting at and bends down, shaking the gummy packet enticingly. “Hi! It’s nice to meet you, what’s your name?” Tzuyu pushes back against Mina, wiggling inside her coat to hide from view and putting as much distance as she can between the strange woman and herself, eyes looking to Mina for help.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina puts on a small smile and offers a handshake to which the Dahyun accepted, shaking it a little bit too enthusiastically for Mina’s liking. “Hello, I’m Mina and this is Hirai Tzuyu, she’ll be joining your class. She’s a little shy so I hope you’ll take good care of her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Miss Kim squats down and peeks into Mina’s coat, seeing Tzuyu all curled up inside and smiles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hello Tzuyu! You have such a lovely name and” she gestures to Minjoong animatedly and gushes “what’s his name? He is so cute!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu pokes her head out alongside with Minjoong. She hesitates for a while, contemplating whether she should reply. This lady was strange and loud, kinda like other Mama. But other Mama is nice to her so this lady should be nice too right? She asked about Minjoong and didn’t make fun of her so that’s good enough in Tzuyu’s book.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu shyly brings up Minjoong’s paw and waves it “H-hello, I’m Minjoong…” She ducks back inside of the coat, feeling bashful and Mina lovingly pats her coat in a calming rhythm, comforting Tzuyu as well as complimenting her for being brave.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana reaches out for Minjoong’s paw and pretends to shake it, giggling to herself. “Hello Minjoong! I’m Sana!” She brings her voice up a notch, sounding like Mickey Mouse “Oh hello Sana! You look very pretty today!” before reverting back to her normal tone “Why thank you! I think your colourful coat is very dazzling as well!” Sana’s nose scrunches up as she laughs by herself, thoroughly entertained.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She missed the way Tzuyu shook Minjoong’s paw in a greeting back at her, eyes shining.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dahyun rocks on her heels “Hello Minjoong, it’s so nice to meet you!” She pulls out two packets of gummies and offers it to Tzuyu “Here! One for you and one for Minjoong!” She reaches forward to pat his head “Would he be a student here too? I look forward to seeing the both of you in class, he can even sit next to you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Checking her watch, she realizes that she has to hurry along and with one final wave, Dahyun stood back up and said goodbye to Mina before bouncing off to greet the other parents. Sensing that the danger has passed, Tzuyu cautiously peeked out, too comfortable in her spot to fully move out. She pulled the other side of Mina’s coat over so only her head pokes out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She likes this, Tzuyu feels like she is just like the baby kangaroo that she saw on TV. She pushes Minjoong so his head sticks out too. Sana feels like she’s about to burst at the seams with how much love is flowing out of her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She’s so cute!</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” A little girl with pigtails runs up to Tzuyu and points at her Minjoong, eyes sparkling “WOW!” the loudness of her voice prompts Tzuyu to wiggle her way inside of Mina’s coat, hiding in there. The little girl tilts her head in confusion, poking the lump under Mina’s coat “ ‘ello?” she looks up at Mina questioningly “Is she a Koala?” She pokes Tzuyu again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina glances into her coat and smiles reassuringly “It’s okay baby, don’t be scared.” Her soothing voice slowly lured Tzuyu out of her hiding spot, the toddler squinting down at the noisy girl who kept poking at her. Seeing Tzuyu draws a toothy smile from the little girl, a tiny fang sticking out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana notices that the new girl had a mole on her chin which only adds to her charms. She pats Tzuyu, ignoring how her hands just went through her head and murmurs encouragingly “Its okay Tzu-Tzu! She just wants to talk; I’ll protect you if she tries to take Minjoong!” Sana draws herself to her full height and stares intimidatingly down at the three-year-old, arms drawn up in a boxing stance as if daring the child to make one wrong move.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The stranger pointed at Minjoong excitedly “So cowourful!” She quickly drops her bag, one that was designed like a strawberry, and pulls out a tiger plushie. She pushes her toy into Mina’s coat and jiggles it “ ‘ello! I’m Stripes!” She squeaks out and she points to herself “And I’m Chaengie!” She sticks her head into Mina’s coat, squirming up her lap as well as the older woman tries her best to juggle two toddlers on her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaengie squishes herself against Tzuyu and forces Stripes onto her, shaking it vigorously. “What’s your name? Tell me! Tell me!” She demands.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Worried that Tzuyu would have a meltdown from the sudden onslaught of affection from a stranger, Mina opens her coat, giving Tzuyu an exit from the overbearing girl and was surprised when Tzuyu instead lifts Minjoong’s paw up and smacks it softly against Stripe’s, like a high-five. “I’m Minjoong” She wiggles the pup before lowering it slightly, exposing her eyes and drops her voice even lower, almost inaudibly “and I’m C-Chewy…”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaengie surges forward and nearly topples off Mina’s lap if not for the woman’s quick reflexes “Chewy! Chewy hi! Let’s be fwiends!” She wraps Tzuyu up in her hug, the younger girl freezing up momentarily before slowly wrapping her arms around Chaengie and leaning into her. “H-hi.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Both Sana and Mina felt their heart stop, the latter scrambling to pull out her phone before snapping a picture of the adorable sight while Sana jumps around them, hovering up to the ceiling from giddiness. “You made a friend! I’m so proud of you Tzu-Tzu!” Sana nearly sobs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was relieving, Sana had been so worried that Tzuyu would have a hard time at school especially after what happened during the baking class and had been stressed about her social development. So, she found solace in little Chaengie, her daughter’s first friend.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina just pulls the little duo closer to her and introduces herself “Hello Chaengie, I’m Mina.” She strokes Stripe’s fur softly “And hello to you too Stripes, you’re very handsome.” Chaengie beams up at Mina, dimple deepening on the right side of her cheek and Mina couldn’t resist poking at it gently.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh! Tzu-Tzu she has dimples like you! C’mon baby, show her!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu stares at Chaengie’s dimple and timidly smiles as well, poking at her own cheeks. “…Me too.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The squeal that Sana let out could have shattered windows.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina just pressed a kiss against Tzuyu’s forehead, heart racing at her cuteness. The toddler’s going to be the death of her. Tzuyu softly presses back against Mina’s lips, prolonging the contact for a little longer before pulling away and touching Stripes, marvelling at his soft fur.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Stripes was cute, <em>almost</em> as cute as Minjoong.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Chaeyoung? Where are you baby?” a deafening voice rings out, almost as if it was shouted into a microphone and Chaengie perks up, squirming out of Mina’s lap and dashing towards the source.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana froze. That voice sounds so familiar.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Eomma!” and she was swiftly plucked off the floor and cradled by a woman who had striking pink hair. Chaengie waves her arms lively and rambles happily to her mother, pointing over to Mina’s direction which lead the pink haired woman to walk towards them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Jihyo…?” Sana whispers disbelievingly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Up close Mina could see the infectious smile on the woman’s face as she sets Chaengie down on the floor. She wipes her hands on her pant before offering one to Mina “Hi I’m Jihyo. This is my daughter Chaeyoung, I hope she wasn’t too much trouble.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana stills as she watched Jihyo smile radiantly. Pink suits her so well and she seems to have gotten buffer, probably due to all her time in the gym. The older Japanese smiles melancholily. She misses her best friend so much, she’s been so busy with Momo and Tzuyu that she didn’t even pop by to visit her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey Jihyo, how’s Nayeon doing these days?” She never got a reply nor was Sana expecting one, but it still hurts to see her best friend up close after three years only for her to just walk through Sana’s body. Like she doesn’t even exist.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina quickly grasped at the outstretched hand “Hello, I’m Mina and this is Tzuyu” She pulls her coat back slightly to expose the toddler “And Chaeyoung was a delight, really.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo sighs in relief “That’s great to hear, I was concerned when she told me how she just pushed her plushie against your daughter’s face. Was she named after that actress, Chou Tzuyu? The one who starred at that drama everyone was talking about?” Mina nods affirmatively, patting Tzuyu’s head “Yes, her mother was a fan. Do you like her too?” Jihyo shakes her head, a tight smile on her lips “Ah no, one of my friends was. She had wanted to name her daughter Tzuyu too.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana frowns as she reached out to rub Jihyo’s shoulders soothingly, pulling away when she sees Goosebumps pickled up over the Korean’s skin as she shudders marginally. Jihyo still remembers her favourite actress? She couldn’t help but feel touched, she remembers screaming her head off as she scrolled through twitter, thrilled when she realized her favourite actress was casted on a new series and would demand that they all watched the drama together.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo would roll her eyes good naturedly whenever Sana gushes over the TV and ask whether Sana would choose the actress or her only to gasp in offense when Sana says, “I’ll sell you for a dollar if it meant getting a date with her.” While Nayeon would laugh, popcorn spilling out of her mouth and Jihyo would punch her, face twisted up in disgust.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana missed their little get togethers so much.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo bends down and smiles merrily at the hidden child. “Hello Tzuyu! Was Chaeyoung nice to you?” Tzuyu nods tentatively, hiding behind Minjoong again, uncomfortable at the sudden attention.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Eomma I was nice! We are fwiends now!” Chaeyoung huffed indignantly, little feet stomping on the ground and lighting up her sneakers in the process. Tzuyu was enraptured, gazing at the dancing lights. She wiggles her feet and looks at her own sneakers, just plain old Paw Patrol with no lights. She wonders if she asks nicely enough would her mommy buy one for her?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Is that so?” Jihyo asks before turning over to Mina “Well since our kids are going to be classmates, do you want to join us for lunch after the orientation? My Café is just down the corner and we can have a little playdate as well! It’ll be good for them to have a friend before school starts!” Chaeyoung brightens up at the suggestion and toddles over to Mina “Pwease! I have a puppy and kitty!” She tries appealing to Tzuyu.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>She makes a really compelling argument </em>Mina thinks as she looks down at Tzuyu who was still fixated on the flashing lights.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It would be good for Tzuyu to have someone familiar when she starts pre-school…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“What do you say Tzuyu? Do you want to have lunch with Chaengie?” Tzuyu looks at Chaeyoung's hopeful face indecisively. She really wants to play with her puppy but what if she gets bitten? Her neighbors dogs were mean to her, what if Chaengie's puppy was too?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana lowers herself down to the floor and tries to coax Tzuyu “Don’t worry Tzu-Tzu! I’ll be with you and” she stands behind Chaeyoung, voice deepening as she pretends to be Stripes. “I really want to play with Minjoong!” She pulls a funny face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu giggles softly and nods her head, curling up against Mina “Okay Mama, lunch together.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina gently flicks Tzuyu’s bangs “Hmm…I think we’ll get a hair cut before meeting mommy later.” She fingers her own long black hair “Maybe I’ll change up my own style too. Want to surprise mommy?” Tzuyu bobs her head up and down eagerly. Her mommy loves surprises and she love her mommy, of course she wants to surprise her!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay I guess that’s settled!” Jihyo gives an easy grin before plopping herself besides Mina, watching as Chaeyoung pulled a few coloured pens out of her backpacked and waved it enticingly in front of Tzuyu. “Chewy, wanna colour? Wook, I have glitter pens!” She brandishes her pencil case proudly and holds her hand out to Tzuyu, waiting for the younger girl to take it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu looks back at Mina who nods in encouragement and slowly places her hand in Chaeyoung’s. The pigtailed girl happily starts leading them to an empty table, carefully not to jerk Tzuyu about and starts laying down fresh sheets for them to doodle on, showing Tzuyu how to draw a strawberry.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana quickly follows behind, taking an interest in the little pigtailed girl. So, this was Jihyo’s and Nayeon’s daughter, She’s so big now. Sana scans her up and down, definitely seeing Nayeon in her with how feisty she gets and little Chaeyoung’s smile almost resembles Nayeon’s bunny one.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She feels a sharp pang in her heart. She had really wanted for their kids to grow up together, she even got matching booties for them. She remembers getting a call in the middle of the night, a frantic Nayeon screaming that Jihyo’s water broke and how Sana had smacked Momo awake and dragged her to the car. They must have broken at least five traffic rules in their haste to get to the hospital.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After getting the room number wrong two times they finally entered the right one and Jihyo had looked like a mess with mussed hair, tell-tale signs of exhaustion all over her and yet she smiles, lowering her arms and presenting a little baby wrapped in a pink blanket. Nayeon beams proudly at her side.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Her name is Im Chaeyoung.” Nayeon softly whispers as she stares down at her daughter, eyes full of love.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She watched as Jihyo passes the bundle over to Momo, gently correcting her posture as Momo nervously cradled the baby, rocking her slowly from side to side. Sana remembers thinking how she couldn’t wait for Momo to hold their own baby.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Life works in mysterious ways I guess” Sana mused, their kids found their way to each other in the end and her lips quirked up at the corner, cherishing the sight of Chaeyoung guiding Tzuyu’s hand as she tries to draw Minjoong.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Truthfully, she feels a sense of Déjà vu, remembering a familiar scene of her and Momo when they were still kids. Momo had presented a few seashells that she had collected from the beach and Sana decided to paint them, making them pretty.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She remembers doing the same thing as Chaeyoung did, holding firmly onto Momo’s hand as she taught her how to mix colours and Momo looked at her exactly the same way Tzuyu is looking at Chaeyoung now, full of reverence and awe.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>How nostalgic.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung suddenly stood up, surprising Tzuyu and dashed about to find two more chairs for Minjoong and Stripes, placing a plate of fake food in front of them which Tzuyu greatly appreciates.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t get to have teatime with Minjoong before they left for school, he must have been starving. She picks the puppy up and presses his snout into the plate, pretending that he is eating. “Nom nom”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung picks up Stripes and using his paw, offers a lollipop to Tzuyu who accepts it with a small smile. She turns the candy around and sees that it was Cola flavoured, her favourite.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Chaeyoung +1 </em>Sana mentally tabulates, pleased at the sight of a rare smile blossoming on her daughter’s face, dimples deepening. “Chaeyoung is such a good girl!” She praises “Better than that Suho, right Tzuyu?” Just the thought of the trio annoys Sana, she still hasn’t forgiven them for making her daughter cry.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu ignores Sana and stares silently as Chaeyoung gives tips on how to colour within the lines and watches as the little artist draws a tiny stick figure of herself hugging stripes on her paper and follows up with one of her and Minjoong with a heart above their heads. Chaeyoung sticks her tongue out in concentration as she shakily writes the word “Frens” at the very top.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wow you’re super good at drawing! Bet you didn’t get that from Nayeon. I love how you drew Tzu-Tzu, super cute and accurate and look! You even got her dimples in.” Sana coos over the drawing “Funny how van Gogh stopped painting ever since you were born huh Chaengcasso?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana notices the spelling mistake and thinks that it was adorable while Tzuyu gapes, amazed at the fact that her friend could write. Her eyes sparkle as she stares intently at Chaeyoung.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaengie is so cool.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Once she was done, Chaeyoung grinned and pushes her artwork towards Tzuyu, pointing exuberantly at the stick figures. “Wook Chewy! It’s me and you and Stripes and Minjoong!” She hurriedly adds a few more strawberries at the background. “At a stwawberry farm!” She then pulls a sheet of stickers out of her bag and picks the one that looks like a loaf of bread out, plastering it on Tzuyu’s forehead with a smack before picking another sticker, this time of a strawberry and sticking it on her own blouse.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The younger girl blinks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana bends down and blows slightly at her forehead, wincing when she sees a reddening spot. Ouch. "It's okay sweetheart, don't cry okay?" Sana tries to pacify Tzuyu in case she cries but unexpectedly the little girl just reaches up to touch her sticker, feeling about the smooth surface and asks what it was.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung points to herself “I’m the stwawberry pwincess!” and she gestures towards Tzuyu “and you’re bwead!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu really doesn’t know what she was talking about, Chaengie is clearly human, how can she be a strawberry? But Chaeyoung said it with such conviction that Tzuyu believed her. A princess? That sounds so cool. Chaengie is so cool. So, she nods earnestly, repeating after Chaeyoung.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I am Bwead.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tzuyu has a friend :D This would be part 1 of the preschool arc as I slowly introduce the side characters and it'll be more domestic for now! It'll be fluff for now but don't worry I have plans for angst ;)</p><p>I'll like to thank those who left comments, I really enjoyed reading them! I 'll do my best to push out the next chapter quickly too &gt;&lt;</p><p>Also please use #TwiceMeetAgain if you would like to share your opinion on Twitter and feel free to follow me on @Bananamilk4life I post links to the updates there :)</p><p>See you guys next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was nearly impossible to separate the two.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wherever Chaeyoung was so, so was Tzuyu. The younger girl has taken to following Chaeyoung around like a puppy, trailing dutifully behind and Chaeyoung loved the attention, preening whenever Tzuyu would look at her in amazement at whatever she does.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s hard to believe that the two had only just met that afternoon with how clingy they seem to be with each other.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Chewy, Chewy wook!” Chaeyoung jumps over a puddle and Tzuyu claps enthusiastically, wanting to jump as well but Mina held her back, reminding the toddler that her shoes would get wet and how much she hated squishy socks as it felt icky on her toes. Tzuyu deflates slightly but perks up when Chaeyoung offers her a daisy she plucked off the field. She holds the tiny flower in between her hands and smiles deeply, letting Mina slot it between her hair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung quickly presses her hand into Tzuyu’s and leads her towards her mother’s Café, skipping along and Tzuyu mimics her. Sana follows suit, hands swinging by her side as she sang “F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me~” Maybe it was just her imagination, but it seems like Tzuyu was skipping to the beat of the song.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nothing fills Sana with as much joy as seeing her daughter looking like a kid for the first time in her life. Smiling carefreely and happily playing with those around her age.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ever since she was a baby, Tzuyu had always had a serious vibe around her, as if she has the world’s burden placed upon her shoulder.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She rarely cracked a smile and would spend her days either crying on silently playing with her building blocks. Momo had scoured various baby books to get advices but nothing that was suggested ever worked.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Desperate, Momo had brought her to child development specialists who were equally as baffled. The baby was as healthy as an ox and had a healthy set of lungs and vocal chords judging from how loud she cried when separated from Momo. Only calming down when the she was held securely in her mother’s arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They ruled out the possibility that Tzuyu had any speech disorder nor autism. Rather Tzuyu was just reluctant to talk.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>PAST</strong>
</p><p>“The cause of her selective mutism is probably due to either childhood trauma or from the lack of interaction from those around her.” The specialist typed into his laptop as he addressed an anxious Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean ‘lack of interaction’?” The specialist pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose before continuing “For a child her age they would normally already be talking or at least attempting to form words. What words you might ask. Children are often like parrots; they follow whatever they see adults doing and hence the words they speak would be a mirror of what is normally spoken to them or in front of them.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzuyu is already,” He scrolls down her records “20 months old and yet she isn’t talking?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Not that I’ve heard of. I know she knows some words, but I’ve never heard her actually say it. Whenever we watch those kid’s channels, she knows words like butterfly and red and house.” Momo corrects him, fiddling nervously with her thumbs when the grave look on his face doesn’t change.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Still, knowing what those words mean doesn’t change the fact that she has not spoken at all. See babies start understanding simple words when they hit nine months old. By then they should already start babbling and are usually able to say words like ‘mama’ around twelve to eighteen months old. Your daughter is considered way behind development.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana frowns as she leans in closer to Momo, trying to offer support and the older woman shudders.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He points a pen in the direction of Tzuyu who was crawling along the play mats, attempting to stand on her feet and wobbling. “Your daughter is silent because the adults in her life are silent towards her. It says here in your records that you’re a single mother?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo jerks her head in reluctant agreement, fingers fiddling with the helm of her cardigan. He continues on, ignoring the discomfort visible on Momo’s face “It’s no wonder. Children of single parents tend to fall behind during developmental stages because there’s only one parent around to cater to them. Kids need a stable family environment to grow and thrive in, that's really important for their mental health”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Safe to say you don’t really spend much time with her either? You’re a cop so that means you’re working pretty much every day so who is she with?” He presses on.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Me.” Sana raises her hand before putting it down sheepishly when she realizes no one can see her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo chews her bottom lip “M-My sister at first but now I’ll just bring her to work and leave her at a corner where I can monitor her. And I say good morning and goodnight to her-” He tsked and Momo shrinks from the disapproval “No wonder she isn’t speaking yet. This is a very important stage in her life and you-” He peers down his glasses, forehead pinched in displeasure “are failing her. Do you know what that means? Your daughter will fall behind her peers, her development is being affected. Not talking means she can’t express herself which might lead to behavioural issues down the line.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He twirls his pen in thought “Speaking of behavioural issues, Tzuyu seems to be rather despondent and apathic. My assistant had a session with her where she tried to gauge your daughter’s emotional intelligence and her report said Tzuyu never responded to any of her questions and was stoic throughout. She didn’t smile, frown or even cry. Highly unusual and extremely concerning.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well at least she knows what her name is and responds to it by looking at the one who calls out for her. Other than that, she displays zero interest in engaging with others be it adults of children around her age group. I’ll say her social development is already stunted.” He pauses before levelling his steely gaze back on Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Have you arranged any meet ups with other children? A playdate of sorts.” Momo shakes her head, eyes cast down in shame “No…I don’t know any other parents.” The typing stops as the specialist stares at Momo in disbelief, lips tugged down, scrutinizing the young mother in front of him. "Do you not have any friends? Surely you do, you're a young woman and you could expose her to them. More adults means more communication channels and that would really help her open up more." He insists, almost jabbing a finger accusingly at Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I don't really have many friends, just a few from work and they're always busy." Momo denies softly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana scoffs “That’s not true! Nayeon wanted to babysit but you refused! She could have spent time with Chaeyoung and then this wouldn’t have happened!” She rages but her accusations fell flat when she takes in how distraught Momo looks and Sana slumps back down on her seat, the fight leaving her in an instant.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She completely understands Momo’s reasoning for not wanting to meet up with both Nayeon and Jihyo because the empty seat next to Momo would have been too much for the older Japanese to bear.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo can’t really stand looking at Nayeon and Jihyo while they’re with Chaeyoung. Can’t stand to see the blissful smile on their faces as they hug Chaeyoung, the little one squealing with joy in her parents’ embrace.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It reminds her too much of a future she has lost. It hurts when hers is the only face that Tzuyu will see as she grows up. Her daughter deserved to have a mother as amazing as Sana by her side and it just wasn’t fair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t want to come off as too bitter and put a damper on the mood, so she just opts not to meet up with them at all, only keeping in contact with Nayeon as they are partners.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry Momo, I didn’t mean what I just said…” She tries to apologize, placing her hand on top of Momo’s and the older woman shivers, pulling her hand back inside the sleeve of her jacket.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He sighs “Honestly, do you even want to be a mother? With the way you’re acting I don’t see this situation improving. It’s not that she can’t talk, her vocal chords are formed and healthy but she either doesn’t know any words or just doesn’t want to. I suggest you work on that before our next appointment. If she still doesn't change then it might be best for you to give her up to someone who cares.” He shakes his head in disappointment before resuming his typing, probably writing undesirable comments on Momo’s parenting.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo looks down at her clenched fists, feeling a familiar burn behind her eyelids.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey stop being mean to my wife!” Sana yells as she tries to slap the old man away. “Moguri, don’t listen to him! You’re an amazing mother and you’re doing your best. He doesn’t know anything!” Sana sticks her tongue out in defiance.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo stands up and walks unsteadily towards Tzuyu, clapping her hands twice before opening up her arms, signalling to Tzuyu that she was going to pick her up which the baby makes grabby hands for. The woman tucks Tzuyu securely by her side before giving a quick bow to the grumpy specialist who doesn’t even spare her a second glance. “Thank you for your time.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>After the appointment, Momo stands tiredly as she balances Tzuyu on her hips while she waits for a cab. “I’m sorry Tzuyu…this is all my fault.” Momo sniffles as a tear drop rolls down her cheek before another joins it. Sana feels her heart ache and she wishes she could hold Momo and comfort her. “Momo please,” She steps closer and tries to stroke her cheek, hating how her fingers just went through her wife. “Please don’t blame yourself.” Sana feels tears building behind her eyelids, feeling so helpless and useless.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo drops her duffel bag on the ground as she hurriedly wipes away her tears, not wanting to look weak in front of her daughter but she can’t seem to stop. Tzuyu blinks in confusion as she watches her mommy have a breakdown, not understanding why she was crying but she doesn’t like it. So, she reaches out with her tiny hands and pat at Momo’s cheeks “M-Mom…my” She blabbers, shocking both women. Tzuyu shakes her head slowly before wiping at Momo’s tears “N-No”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzu-Tzu? You can talk?” Sana gapes, dumbfounded for a moment before she flutters about, looking for a phone to record the moment and curses when she remembers that she’s a ghost. "God dammit isn't there a ghost version of an Iphone?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo holds onto Tzuyu’s hand as she pressed a trembling kiss onto her palm. “Baby?” Tzuyu just looks at her, brown eyes sparkling as she pokes at Momo’s cheeks, giggling when Momo smacked a kiss to her temple, whispering a promise into her hair “I’ll do better with you, I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>If what the specialist said was true, that Tzuyu needed more stable and positive adult attention in her life then that's what she'll give her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next day Momo asks Mina out.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>PRESENT</strong>
</p><p>Jihyo and Mina engages in small talk as their children runs up ahead. “How may I address you?” Mina brings up “Well officially I’m now Mrs Im Jihyo but please just call me Jihyo!” She tilts her head towards the Japanese “And you? Mrs…?” Mina shook her head “I’m not married actually so just Mina would do.” Jihyo widens her eyes in surprise “Oh, I’m so sorry. I just assumed since you have a kid-” Mina chuckles, swiftly cutting Jihyo’s frantic apology off “It’s okay I get that a lot. Tzuyu’s not mine, she’s my girlfriend’s daughter. Her mother is working today so I’m in charge of her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The two women walked in silence as Jihyo processed the new information provided to her. “What do you do for a living if you don’t mind me asking? For me I’m either at the Café or taking care of Chaeyoung since my wife is in the police force.” Mina looks up in interest “My girlfriend is in the force too!” Jihyo seems pleasantly surprise at that “Really? Which division is she in? Nayeon is in the 12<sup>th</sup>.” Mina clasped her hands together in astonishment “Momo too!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo stumbles over her feet and the younger woman reaches out to stable her. “M-Momo…?” She croaks out. “Oh, sorry. Momo is the name of my girlfriend, Tzuyu’s mother.” Jihyo remains motionless, her heart plummeted all the way to her stomach. “Is her full name Hirai Momo…?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina’s lips quirked up “Yes, do you know her?” Jihyo’s eyes glazes over as she looks over to where Tzuyu and Chaeyoung were, both of them attempting to walk on the road markings and Chaeyoung’s shoulders shook as she laughed at Tzuyu when she tripped.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Tzuyu? </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo keeps staring, mouthing opening slightly as she slowly connects the dots.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hirai Tzuyu? </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Could it really be?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Momo’s little girl? </em> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu giggles as Chaeyoung hops around like a bunny, nose scrunching up just like Sana’s.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She’s Sana’s. Oh my God.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Sana detaches herself from the children and approaches Jihyo, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “What’s wrong?” Jihyo had looked like she was about to pass out and that scares Sana. She darts her eyes between Mina and her best friend, wondering what on earth they had been talking about to warrant such a reaction.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>She’s so big now…and she looks just like Momo with Sana’s eyes. </em>Jihyo’s thoughts raced through her brain, leaving her dizzy and she placed a hand on a wall to center herself, breathing in deeply. She can feel a headache pounding at her skull.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Jihyo? Are you okay?”</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Tzuyu…Tzuyu is here in front of me.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Eomma?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung’s voice broke through her thoughts, the little girl tugging on her pants. “Eomma? Are you okay? You got kind of spacey.” Jihyo clears her throats and flashes a wobbly smile at her daughter as she glances at Tzuyu who was holding Mina’s hand. “Eomma was just thinking about what to make for lunch. You want your favourite pancakes? I’ll even make it the shape of a strawberry!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That had been enough to distract Chaeyoung but Mina remains unconvinced, eyeing the shorter woman suspiciously.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What was that about?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“We’re here! This is my Café, The Rosemary. Feel free to come in for a cup of TT anytime, I’ll even give you a discount!” Jihyo forms her fingers into two 7's and holds them near her eyes, moving them up and down while pouting slightly.</p><p> </p><p>At Mina's confused and judgmental stare, Jihyo hurriedly defends herself "Erm I was copying that dance choreography from that Top girl group, Thrice! I'm not weird I swear" Jihyo laughs nervously as she walks up the stairs to the main entrance of the Café.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh! I should warn you, I have a cat and dog inside, is that okay with you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yes of course, we’re not allergic and Tzuyu here loves dogs.” Tzuyu nods happily in Mina’s arms, wiggling Minjoong.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Really? That’s great! Our dog is called Kookeu and our cat is Bbuyo! Don’t worry they’re super friendly, just a little wary at first.” Jihyo pulls out a set of keys and flicks through them, inserting the correct one into the keyhole and turning it. Before she could open the door fully, Chaeyoung had already squeezed past the gaps.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Koo Koo!” Chaeyung yells as she launches herself at the furball who barked a greeting. She squeals loudly as the puppy licks at her face. “Chewy! Come and play!” Kookeu rolls over and exposes his stomach, whining until Chaeyoung rubs his tummy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana runs over and joins Chaeyoung on the floor “Hey there Kookeu! God you’re so fluffy!” She shrieks and Kookeu immediately sits up, growling and barking at Sana. “Ah, sorry…” Sana backs off slowly. She forgot that animals aren’t particularly fond of ghosts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>This sucks </em>Sana thought sulkily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong Koo Koo?” Chaeyoung frowns quizzically as Kookeu keeps snarling at thin air. She looks around her, there was nothing there but tables and chairs along with a picture of Nayeon in her uniform, saluting proudly. Jihyo had hung that picture at the back of the room, commemorating the day Nayeon got accepted into the force.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Maybe he hates Mommy’s face?</em> Chaeyoung wonders as she studies Nayeon’s smug smile. She pushes a chair beneath the painting and climbs up, pulling out a marker and doodling a mustache and a monocle onto the portrait. “There!” She yells triumphantly, turning to look at Kookeu who had made his way towards the Mina and Tzuyu, sniffing curiously at the air.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu stands behind Mina’s legs, curiously peeking out from her hiding spot but too scared to approach the puppy. The little cotton ball seems ferocious the way he was growling. She hugs Minjoong closer to her, breathing in his comforting scent. Minjoong had never growled at her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Taking note of her worry, Mina bends down and gently guides Tzuyu towards Kookeu “Here, let him smell your hand first” She holds out her own hand, letting Kookeu take a sniff before holding out Tzuyu’s and she notices that Tzuyu was trembling.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo watches the scene unfold at the back, arms folded in concentration.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s a small world, who knew she’ll run into the little Hirai just like that after all the begging she’s done to Momo to arrange a playdate.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had always been rather adamant about not leaving Tzuyu alone with Jihyo or Nayeon, saying that it hurts too much to see their group together sans one.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo clasps her hands tightly together. Surely it must be fate right? That Tzuyu and Chaeyoung are assigned to the same class and gotten along so well. Whatever it was, she resolves to make full use of the opportunity and spoil the younger girl with all that she’s got. She knows it won’t make up for Sana’s absence, but she has three years of Godmother duty to catch up on.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay Tzuyu, I won’t let anything happen to you okay?” Kookeu sniffs at the offered hand tentatively before giving a long lick and Tzuyu lets out a startled laugh at the sudden wetness. “Oh, he likes you!” Jihyo laughs as she carries Bbuyo over, the black Scottish fold stares judgementally at Mina who is reaching out to give him a pat before turning and strutting away in a huff.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh…okay” Mina awkwardly pulls back her hand, folding it in her lap. Sana snorts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo hides a giggle behind her hand “Sorry Bbuyo is quite antisocial, he only rubs up against me so don’t feel bad.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina waves her hands dismissively “I understand! No hard feelings.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That was a lie, Mina felt hurt from being rejected by the cat. Maybe next time she’ll bring along some treats to win him over, she will not rest until she gets to rub his fluffy tummy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kookeu loops around Tzuyu and makes a beeline for Mina, sniffing at her handbag curiously before chomping down on Minguin who was hanging by the strap. Mina quickly separates the two and grimaces when she sees the slobber dripping off her keychain.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“This is not for playing Kookeu!” Mina wags her fingers, telling off the puppy who stares at her in confusion, head tilted to the side as one ear flops over. The sight was so cute that the anger left Mina immediately as she gives Kookeu a head pat, giggling when he tries to nibble on her fingers. She stares at the fluffy Pomeranian in thought as he stands up on two legs and proceeds to ‘beg’ for treats.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She really misses Ray.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu waddles over to Jihyo as she shook the treat bag, watching Kookeu do tricks for some beef jerky “Can…I?” She gestures to the beef jerky and points to the puppy chewing on one. Jihyo hands her one jerky and gently nudges her towards Kookeu who had just polished off his treat and is actively sniffing around for more.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She takes one step forward and the moment Kookeu smelt the jerky, he started jumping onto Tzuyu and accidentally toppled her over before crawling onto her body and snatching the treat away. The sudden movement alarmed both adults but Tzuyu’s cheerful laughter soothes them as she hugs Kookeu close to her and she sneezes when his fur tickled her nose.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzuyu, come here for a moment baby.” Tzuyu reluctantly lets the puppy go before heading towards Mina. She stands before the woman as she bends down slightly and starts picking at the sticker plastered on her forehead, wanting to peel it off when Tzuyu starts batting her hands away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No!” The toddler cups her hands over the sticker protectively. “I’m Bwead!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina pulls her hands away “But you can’t keep it on forever-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Bwead!”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, okay” she tries to pacify the toddler who seems genuinely upset “<em>Does Bread-chan want a snack?</em>” She naturally slips into Japanese at the comfortable atmosphere and pulls out a small container of Tzuyu’s favourite biscuits.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The toddler immediately forgets what she was upset over, making grabby hands for a snack. “<em>Yeh pwease!</em>” She answers in broken Japanese and Chaeyoung walks over, curious at the foreign language. Tzuyu breaks her biscuit into half and offers one to Chaeyoung who takes it eagerly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Tzuyu it’s pronounced ‘Yes please’.”  </em>Mina corrects gently, prompting the little girl to repeat after her “<em>Y-yes pwease.”  </em>She mumbles, cheeks puffed out from her snack and Mina praises her “That’s right! Good job.” And the toddler preens.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Feeling left out, Sana wanders about the Café, taking in the familiar scenery. “Nothing has changed huh?” The room still had the same décor with the few added paintings made by Chaeyoung. She notices on with three different thumbprints labelled Nayeon, Jihyo and one significantly smaller one labelled Chaengie.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There were also various pictures hung up that showed Chaeyoung growing up; her expression when she first tasted jajangmyeon with Nayeon feeding her, Chaeyoung with a bowl cut looking like a mushroom and Chaeyoung sleeping with Kookeu curled up protectively around her. There were even some of the three Im members at an amusement park and Chaeyoung was placed on Nayeon’s shoulders with a Mickey Mouse hat on, beaming.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana feels like she’s looking at how a family should be and the ache beneath her ribcage becomes more pronounced. She could have had this. She <em>should</em> have had this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This is unfair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not wanting to ruin her mood any further, she forces herself to turn away and stalks off. The chairs and tables were still the same and if Sana remembers correctly, she walks towards the table situated right in the middle of the room, hands sliding down the wooden surface of the table and wishes she could feel the bumps and curves carved into it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Nayeon     Jihyo</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Momo      Sana</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The four of them had carved their names into the tree that made this very table. Nayeon had wanted to immortalize their bond and said that plain old friendship bands just aren’t enough to convey how close they were to each other. She remembers her surprise when Nayeon presented their gang with this table, bragging that she specifically requested a famous carpenter to create it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had pointed out that ths table stood out like a sore thumb from the modern décor of the Café and Jihyo waved away her worries, saying that this would be <em>their </em>table, where they would hang out. And she made good on her promise, none of her customers were ever allowed to use it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even when business was blooming and she desperately needed extra tables to seat her customers, Jihyo never allowed anyone near it. “This is only for VIPs!” She would joke, flashing a wink and offers a few cups of fresh coffee to make up for her patron’s inconvenience.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This table was filled with memories, both good and bad. She will never trade them for anything.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana trails her fingers down each name, lingering on Momo’s just a tad longer.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She parts from the table, mind still filled with countless memories swirling around and continues her tour of the room, coming face to face with the memory wall decorated with polaroids and messages written by customers over the years. There were polaroids of couples, of families and of course, one of the four of them with the words “<em>BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!!!</em>” scribbled in permanent ink.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana gazes fondly at the picture. It had been the opening night of the Café and Nayeon had bust out the alcohol wanting to celebrate. It didn’t take much for Sana to start getting even cuddlier than she normally is and she had forced her way onto Momo’s lap, planting kisses wherever she can reach and whining when Momo tries to push her away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo exaggerated her motions of wiping Sana’s kisses off her face with a disgusted expression and complained about leaving lipstick stains on her but softens when Sana pouts, giving in to a few kisses on the lips. She didn’t even notice when Jihyo had pulled out a camera to snap a shot of the moment and caught both Momo and Sana off guard, the two wrestling among themselves while Nayeon and Jihyo struck peace signs, smiling drunkenly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We had such a good time together, didn’t we?” Sana talks to herself, looking through the other pictures and spotted the one taken on the day Momo had proposed. She had collapsed into Momo’s arms and wailed out a ‘Yes!” and out of nowhere Jihyo popped out with a camera swinging by her neck.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had always hated this picture because she looked so ugly after crying her eyes out and demanded Jihyo to stop taking pictures. She remembers being annoyed when Jihyo had tacked that polaroid onto this wall, letting everyone see just how puffy her eyes were on that day.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo reasoned that it was a beautiful memory and would be a waste to throw it away and mentioned that maybe when Tzuyu was older she could look at it and see just how in love her parents were.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She looks at the matching grins on their faces and their interlocked fingers, ring shining due to the camera flash. Sana was grateful she didn’t throw it away though because now she can reminisce and think back to the times when she was happy. Back when the only thing that she was worried about was what materials she should create for her class.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Now? Now she doesn’t even know what awaits her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She turns her gaze back at Tzuyu and sighs. She really wished she had one of just the three of them together.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Just Momo, Sana and Tzuyu.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A family.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Would you like a drink? I can brew different types of coffee and tea! And please tell me what you would like for lunch and I’ll whip it up really quick.” She pulls out a menu off a nearby table and offers it to Mina who flips through it and Tzuyu moves to plop herself on the woman's lap, nestling there comfortably. “Can I get an Iced Americano and a small club sandwich? I’m not very hungry right now.” Jihyo nods “One Iced Americano coming right up!” Before turning her attention onto Tzuyu who was still puzzling over her choice. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What would you like Tzuyu? Mrs Im can make you anything from this menu, look they even have a kid’s section!” Tzuyu looks over her choices, mouth-watering at a picture of fried nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs with a bowl of tteokbokki. She points to it excitedly. “This pwease!” Before realizing that Jihyo was smiling at her and she quickly shrinks back down onto Mina’s lap, hiding away from view again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Go on, tell your order to Mrs Im.” Tzuyu shakes her head and refuses to budge. “Baby, you have to practice talking now.” Mina shifts Tzuyu around so she can look her in the eye “I won’t be there with you in school, so you have to be a big girl now okay? We’ll start small and if you do it correctly mama would get you some carp bread as a snack.” She sticks out her pinky and Tzuyu locks it with hers, pushing herself off Mina’s lap and shuffles towards Jihyo, dragging Minjoong with her. Mina calls out from behind her “Repeat after me Tzuyu, can I please have a set A mis-suhs Im?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu starts gnawing on Minjoong’s paws from stress, words muffled as she avoids eye contact “Can I pwease…have…” She trails off and Mina repeats herself again “Can I please have a set A Mrs Im?” “Can I pwease have a set A Mrs Im?” Tzuyu meekly squeaks out and whines when Jihyo pinches her cheeks. “Oh, you’re adorable! I just wanna eat you up!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana puffs her chest out in pride. “Isn’t she? Tzu-Tzu got it from me!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzuyu please call me auntie Jihyo Okay? Mrs Im makes me feel old.” Tzuyu nods and Jihyo lets out a satisfied grin, fingers cupping Tzuyu’s cheeks affectionately. She takes her time to take in Tzuyu’s features, lingering on her eyes as the toddler gazes back at her questioningly before standing up and heading to the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina notices how Jihyo never seems to tear her eyes away from Tzuyu, staring at her like she was dissecting her in her mind. It unsettles Mina a little but she figures from Jihyo’s reaction earlier on that she must be a friend of Momo’s and that this must be the first time she’s seen Tzuyu so she can’t blame her for the attention.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu is really cute after all especially when she smiles. Though that doesn’t stop her from moving a little closer to Tzuyu as a precaution, worried Jihyo might decide to just snatch the little girl away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo grins toothily from behind the counter as she observes Kookeu running circles around Tzuyu and the little girl attempts to catch him, Minjoong swinging wildly in her arms. Sana tries to linger a little closer to Tzuyu to appreciate the carefree smile on her daughter’s face but Bbyuyo hisses and swipes at her angrily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana resigns herself to sit at the furthest corner in the Café and mopes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Getting tired from chasing Kookeu, the toddler pants lightly before turning her head to the far end of the Café and frowns before toddling over to where Sana was seated and placed Minjoong besides her. She ignores the confused noise Sana made and pats Minjoong’s head twice, silently communicating a mission for him before walking back to Mina without a second glance.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana looks at Minjoong, it was a rare sight, Tzuyu usually lugs the plushie wherever she goes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzu-Tzu? Why did you put him here?” Tzuyu doesn’t answer and Sana looks down at the stuffed dog with endearment. “Well, at least you won’t growl at me would you, Minjoong?” She looks back up at Tzuyu’s direction and yells “Thanks baby! I’ll take care of him!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Chewy!” Tzuyu turns around and sees Chaeyoung hurriedly buttoning up a jacket and she pulls the hood down, exposing two furry eyes on top. “Puppy!” Tzuyu tiptoes and pats Chaeyoung, the taller girl pouts “Am not a puppy!” She brings up her hands and forms them into claws “I’m a tiger! Rawr!” Tzuyu squishes Chaeyoung’s cheeks “…Cute tiger” and Chaeyoung whines, smacking away the offending hands.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Lunch is ready!” Chaeyoung dashes off and quickly climbs onto her designated seat, strapping herself to the child booster and she drums her hands on the table. “Lunch! Lunch!” She chants and cheers when Jihyo places down a steaming hot bowl of bibimbap in front of her. The carrots had been carved to look like a duck and Jihyo arranged the ingredients to form a smiley face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu waddles back to Mina and looks at her for instructions and Mina picks her up and walks towards the table Chaeyoung was sitting at and placing a child booster seat and securing Tzuyu on it before Jihyo lays down a plate of chicken nuggets and tteokbokki and handing Tzuyu a pair of training chopsticks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu struggles to fits her hands into the holes and Mina carefully guides her “Your thumb goes here, and your pointy finger goes there.” She adjusts Tzuyu’s fingers and the toddler proudly lifts her hand to show that she is holding it correctly, earning a few whispered praises from Mina.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Unable to take being so far away from Tzuyu, Sana joins in on the table and forces herself between Mina and Tzuyu, ignoring how Mina’s hand was jutting out of her stomach.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung digs in enthusiastically into her bibimbap, making a mess and Jihyo frowns before pulling out a napkin and dabbing at the rice stuck to her daughter’s face. “Chaeyoung! What did I say about table manners?” Chaeyoung guiltily sets down her spoon and mutters an apology “Sorry Eomma…” Before resuming eating but at a slower pace. Tzuyu looks over at Chaeyoung and contemplates for a while before reaching over and dropping off one of her nuggets on Chaeyoung’s bowl.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung stares at Tzuyu before beaming, her sole dimple flashing and she digs through her bowl, fishing out some of her braised meat and giving it to the younger girl.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana claps her hands in delight and gushes “Tzu-Tzu! Are you sharing? That’s so nice of you!” While Mina ruffles Tzuyu’s hair affectionately. The toddler picks up a piece of tteokbokki and chews on it carefully, savouring the different textures. “Is it good?” Mina asks and Jihyo leans over the table in anticipation Tzuyu nods and picks up another piece of tteokbokki, her fist doing a cute little wave of delight.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Here Tzuyu! Try this!” Jihyo feeds a piece of her kimbap to the toddler who gratefully accepts it. Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise as she tastes something different compared to what her mama usually makes, and her puzzled expression makes Jihyo laugh. “It’s a new receipe where I add cheese into it. Do you like it?” Tzuyu nods her head frantically and leans forward, mouth opened and Jihyo plops another piece in.</p><p> </p><p>Sana mimics Tzuyu’s fist waving “Oh wow~ You like cheese kimbap? Wow it’s so, so, so good!” her voice going octaves higher at the end of her sentence and Tzuyu gives a small smile at her enthusiasm. Tzuyu picks up a small piece of nugget and offers it to Mina who takes it and strokes Tzuyu’s cheeks in appreciation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Me too! Me too!” Sana intercepts and opens her mouth jokingly, but she suddenly sees a piece of nugget dangling in front of her and she pauses.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Tzuyu? </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Is she actually giving one to me? </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her voice dies in her throat, heart thudding painfully. <em>Could it be…that she can see m-me? </em>Her finger shakes as she slowly inches them towards Tzuyu when Mina leans forward and accepts the offered nugget with a smile. “Thank you Tzuyu, you’re so sweet.” Tzuyu answered with a bashful smile, dimples deepening slightly before busying herself with the last few pieces of nuggets.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh…I guess not.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So, it was for Mina instead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She isn’t surprised but it really hurts because for a moment there she allowed herself to have hope only for it to crash and burn. Sana dug her fingernails into her palm, hoping the sting of pain would keep her tears at bay.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Don’t cry Sana, don’t cry.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Mina offers a bite of her sandwich to the toddler who lights up as she enjoys the taste of sweet mayonnaise. Tzuyu does a small happy dance in her seat and the adults cooed over how precious she was and Chaeyoung, wanting to imitate Mina, offers a mouthful of her rice to the younger girl.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Sana exhales shakily and relaxes her fist, taking unsteady steps away from the table and leaving. She throws one last glance at Minjoong sitting alone on the couch, Tzuyu had placed him <em>beside </em>her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She really thought-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Tzuyu?” Sana whispers, heart pounding anxiously as she waits for a sign that her daughter can hear her. Maybe the toddler could sense her? She knows some people are gifted with the ability to see beyond, maybe Tzuyu can too? “Hey baby, can you hear mama?” She tries again, slightly louder this time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu ignores her, eyes fixated on Mina who was wiggling Minguin on the table and speaking in a goofy voice, entertaining the two toddlers while Kookeu glowers at Sana from under the table, fangs bared. He lunges forward, jaws snapping at Sana but passing through her form instead. Undeterred, Kookeu tries again and again, leaping from different angles and trying to sink his teeth into Sana, yipping and snarling until Jihyo picks him up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Kookeu what’s wrong? Did you see a fly?” She strokes his soft ears but Kookeu kept staring intensely behind her, body tense as he tried lurching forward again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana takes a step back, putting distance between them bit by bit, a lump forming in her throat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She has to get out of here before she cries.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Thank you so much for the meal, it was delicious.” Mina finishes the last dregs of her coffee and dabs at her lips. Jihyo’s eyes crinkle from her wide smile and she straightens up with pride “It was nothing, I’m glad you liked it!” Jihyo tilts her head downwards to make eye contact with Tzuyu who was mopping up the last traces of sauce with her rice cake before taking the biggest bite, cheeks puffed out like a squirrel. “Do you like it Tzuyu?” The toddler nods happily, feet kicking out as she fidgets in her seat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina swipes her thumb across Tzuyu’s bottom lip to wipe up the sauce smeared there and brought it back to her mouth to lick it off. “Messy baby” She teases Tzuyu, eyes twinkling in mischievous affection.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo watches the interaction with interest.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was apparent that Mina treats Tzuyu with utmost tenderness and care and the way Tzuyu would always look back to Mina for reassurance speaks of the unwavering trust she has in the woman. Mina seems to let Tzuyu do things on her own pace, never rushing her along and instead just holds the toddler’s hand, her whole fist wraps around the woman’s pinky and guides her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Whenever the toddler seems scared, the first thing she does is dive back into Mina’s arms as the woman comforts her, never once belittling the child.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Good job Momo, you chose a good one.” Jihyo utters under her breath and shakes her head when Mina looks at her questioningly, pulling out her phone from her back pocket. “Could I get your number? Y’know since our kids are going to be classmates and I would like to get to know you better!” She unlocks her phone and holds it out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina gazes at the offered phone for a moment before accepting it graciously and typing in her contact number and handing it back to Jihyo who swiftly changes <em>MYOUI MINA</em> to just a <em>MINA </em>😊 and fires a quick text to her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Japanese woman feels her phone vibrate and pulls it out of her handbag, swiping through her notifications, lips tugged up in a fleeting smile when she saw that Momo had sent her a picture of her lunch attached with the caption ‘<em>Doesn’t taste as good as yours TT’.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Unknown</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hi! I’m Jihyo! Are you interested in coming for a get together next week?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>Mina </em> <em>😊</em></p><p>
  <em>Hello, nice to meet you and yes, I would.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Mina quickly saves Jihyo’s number under <em>JIHYO – CHAEYOUNG’S MOM </em>and pockets her phone but not before Jihyo got a glimpse of her home screen, a picture of Momo sleeping on the couch with Tzuyu nestle on top of her chest in a puppy onesie.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, I’m not very good a texting.” Mina awkwardly gestures as she tries to explain her standoffish reply and Jihyo chuckles and flutters her hands dismissively “It’s no big deal, I’ll just send you the details for the meet up. I look forward to seeing you next week!” Jihyo showed the younger woman to the door and holds it open.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu walks towards the back where Minjoong was sitting and picks him up, staring into his beady eyes. “Were you good?” She parrots the phrase she always hears her mommy asks when she comes home from work and she moves Minjoong’s head up and down in a nod. “Good boy!” She pats his head just like how her mommy would ruffle her hair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Chewy! Here!” Chaeyoung sneaks a small cup of yogurt into Tzuyu’s hands “It’s my favourite!” Tzuyu looks down at the packaging that advertises small bits of biscuits mixed with yogurt. “T-Thank you…” Chaeyoung pulls her in for a tight hug “Bye Bye Chewy! Come back soon!” Kookeu barks softly next to her, pawing at the ground until Tzuyu gives him a few scratches behind his ear and he laps at Tzuyu’s fingers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzuyu, it’s time to go!” Mina holds out her hand and waits patiently for Tzuyu to run towards her and grasp her tiny hand firmly. “Say bye bye auntie Jihyo.” The toddler waves goodbye before asking to be picked up by Mina who gives a quick bow and steps out the door.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo maintains the smile on her face until Mina and Tzuyu were out of sight before pulling out her phone and dialling her wife’s number but after hearing the engaged tone three times, she opts to just leave a text message instead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hyo &lt;3</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nayeon.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nayeon call me once you see this. It’s important!</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you guys like it &gt;&lt; Your comments really mean a lot to me!</p><p>Hope the pace isn't too bad since I want to do some world building before moving on to the the juicy parts :)</p><p>Feel free to use #TwiceMeetAgain if you want to share your opinions on Twitter :D</p><p>See you guys next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo lets out a wheeze as a right hook lands on her cheek, stumbling back against the boxing ring. She presses her fingers against the area and hisses when she feels swelling. She’s going to need some ice on that later.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina’s not going to be happy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey why are you so distracted today?” Her opponent, Im Nayeon, asks in concern, taking off her gloves and offering a bottle of water to Momo who gratefully accepts it, chugging down the refreshing drink.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She lifts up a towel to dab at her face, wiping away the sweat pooling on her forehead and sighs, head tilted backwards as she works out the kinks in her neck. “It’s nothing, just that Tzuyu’s gonna start school soon and I’m worried y’know? I told you she cried cause some kids were rough with her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo walks over to a bench and settles on it, Nayeon following close behind and she stands in front of the younger woman. “Tzuyu’s turning three this year, right?” Momo nods “So is Chaeyoung! Maybe we should have a get together at the Café? It’ll be good practice for Tzuyu to interact with kids her age.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo rolls her shoulders dismissively, leaning back on her elbows as she relaxes “I don’t know…” Nayeon probes her further “Why not? It’s been three years and I’ve never seen Tzuyu even once! Aren’t I her godmother?” Nayeon whines, tugging at Momo’s arms like a petulant child.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The younger woman shrugs Nayeon off roughly, rubbing at her face “I just-” She let out a groan of frustration. “She doesn’t know about <em>her</em> okay? She thinks Mina’s her mom and I don’t want you guys to slip up.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon lets go of Momo’s arms and crosses her own, scowling “That’s not what Sana would-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The bottle whizzed past her head and smashes open on the way behind her, water droplets splashing onto her face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Don’t” </em>Momo warns, veins popping out of her neck from how tensed she is “say her name.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon puts up her hands pacifically “Okay okay. I’m sorry-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The other woman stood up abruptly and brushes past Nayeon, shoulder checking her and Nayeon staggers a little from the force, rubbing her shoulders with a wince.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I gotta go, Mina’s waiting.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Japanese tosses her used towel into a laundry bin before heading towards the shower, slamming the locker shut with more force than intended, leaving her mentor all alone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon stares after Momo’s retreating form in silence, reeling from her outburst.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After the adrenaline faded out, all she felt was weariness, slumping over the bench and laying her head in her palms, messaging her temples.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>On one hand she completely understands where the younger woman is coming from. Losing Sana had changed Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Gone was the happy go lucky woman and in her place was a husk, who no longer seems to find joy in the simplest things and when she smiles, her eyes look like broken glass, and it hurts Nayeon to see her like this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo hasn’t accepted any of her invitation to dinner at Nayeon’s place nor has expressed any interest in meeting Chaeyoung, making up a thousand excuses why she wasn’t free. There were times when Jihyo surprised her at work and Momo would leave the room immediately, as if sicken by the domestic scene in front of her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes Nayeon overhears the way Momo sobs in the washroom, locked up in a cubicle as she wheezes and calls for Sana with a watery voice. Nayeon would always stand guard outside the washroom with a blank look on her face, preventing anyone from entering and letting Momo grieve by herself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo would then pop out a few minutes later with puffy eyes as she tries to smile, acting like nothing had happen as she moves pass Nayeon to continue her duties.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon doesn’t know what she would have done if it was her instead, if she was the one who lost Jihyo. She squeezes her eyes shut and tries to shake off the disturbing mental image of replacing Sana’s funeral picture with her own wife’s.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t want to find out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But Momo wasn’t the only one who lost somebody.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That fateful day, Nayeon had lost two of her closest friends, Sana and Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Sana died, she took a part of Momo with her and the older Japanese became a shell of her former self and Nayeon doesn’t know if she would ever get to see the old Momo again, doesn’t know if she still exists in there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon sighs heavily and raises one hand towards her ponytail, untying her hair and tussling it back as she relaxes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She squints up at the bright ceiling light and leans back on her hands, her mind drifting back to simpler times as she breathes in the musky scent of sweat and her nose crinkles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She should recommend installing some air fresheners here…</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>PAST</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>It’s been thirteen years since she met Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The younger woman was only twenty, fresh out of the academy, bright eyed and bushy tailed as she bowed and stuttered out her greetings in broken Korean, endearingly sticking out her tongue slightly when she fumbles through her introduction.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She flushes in embarrassment when one of the older officers scoffs at her poor attempt, muttering loudly, ensuring that Momo heard it, about how a Japanese has no business working in Korea if she can’t even speak the language.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon looks on pitifully at the Japanese as she tries to continue her introduction, voice getting softer and softer with each passing syllable as her confidence dies out. Nayeon claps at the end, hoping it comes across as encouraging and she mouths “<em>Good job” </em>which earns her a tiny bashful smile as Momo scurries over to join the others, not wanting to be in the spotlight any longer.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Chief had asked for a volunteer to take on Momo as a trainee and show her the ropes and the squad all shifted uneasily on their feet, refusing to make eye contact lest they get chosen and burdened with a fumbling newbie who would only get in the way.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon sees the way Momo deflates when no one offers to take her and she hunches her shoulders, trying to make herself seem smaller and disappear from view when Nayeon steps forward loudly, boots stomping in a way of calling attention to herself as she puffs her chest out and raises her hand high “I’ll take her, Sir.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Almost immediately Momo perked up, eyes glinting with appreciation when she recognizes the nice pretty officer who encouraged her, and she bounded over to Nayeon in a manner not dissimilar to a puppy. She bows and introduces herself again “H-Hello Sunbaenim! I’m Momo, I will work hard!” She bows again and again while Nayeon extends her hand, waiting patiently for Momo to accept it before giving a firm shake “Nice to meet you Momo, I’m Nayeon” She feels Momo’s hands tremble in her hold and she gives a comforting smile “From today onwards we’re partners, got it?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo nods hurriedly, messing up her bangs “Y-Yes!”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon had been warm and patient, gently correcting Momo’s mistakes and sharing tips and unsurprisingly the Japanese who had been tremendously homesick and missing her sister, soon found herself attached to Nayeon, going to her for help on filing cases as well as impromptu Korean lessons.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older woman had always taken her time in correcting the younger woman’s pronunciation, mouthing along the words slowly and praising her when Momo nails an exceptionally hard word and the Japanese would always shy away bashfully, proud that she was being complimented.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>In return, Momo would impart a few Japanese lessons to Nayeon, focusing more on curse words that Nayeon would mutter whenever her superior would talk down to her while Momo fights to hold in a giggle.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To Momo, Nayeon had been a godsend. She had been worried about moving to a foreign country while her language skills were not that great yet and had been fully prepared to be teased and isolated throughout her career but Nayeon never did that. She had encouraged Momo and praised every single small achievement she got. Even when she messed up, the older woman would always reassure her that “It’s not a failure but rather a learning point!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This attitude tide Momo over plenty of times, especially when she had been at her lowest and failed a Korean proficiency test, staring at the angry red marks disdainfully. She would always beat herself up over not excelling and then she would hear a voice that sounded suspiciously like Nayeon’s, giving her a little prep talk “It’s okay, there’s always next time!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>While to Nayeon, Momo had been a breath of fresh air, she was pure and optimistic and not at all cynical nor jaded like Nayeon had been. Someone who reminds her that the world isn’t so bad after all. The younger woman made working more fun compared to the surly men she was stuck with before Momo transferred.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon had taken the young Japanese under her wing, treating her like a younger sister and guided her through work as well as imparting tips for the job that she wished someone would have told her when she was a newbie.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She was there to hold Momo’s hair back as she threw up from seeing the decapitated head of a young woman during her first homicide case, rubbing her back soothing and offering to take over the DNA extraction process.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She was there to comfort her as Momo cried at not being able to save a young boy from being kidnapped, arriving too late to an unresponsive figure laying on a pool of blood.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She was also there to help Momo break the unfortunate news to the boys’ parents, helping her ice the black eye she got from a scuffle from the devasted father who had grabbed Momo’s collar, slamming her against the wall while screaming at Momo to give their son back to them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon had held onto Momo’s hand tightly as she continuously blamed herself for being too slow for being too dumb to put the pieces together while Nayeon would rebuff her every claim.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What’s the point of being a cop if I can’t even save someone? What is the point of me then?” She angrily yanks out her badge, seeing it glint under the sunlight as she winds her arm back, ready to fling it far away when Nayeon gripped onto her arm, holding her down.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon then wraps an arm around Momo, rocking them side to side as she tried to calm the hysterical woman “As harsh as this might sound, we can’t save everyone” Momo’s head snaps up, staring at her mentor incredulously as she opens her mouth to counter her “But-!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older woman places a finger on Momo’s lips, shushing her “Let me finish, we can’t save everyone even if we really, really try because sadly we’re not superheroes, we don’t have amazing speed or strength.” She removes the arm she had wrapped around Momo as she folds into herself and stares pensively ahead “There will be times where we’re just too overwhelmed or just not fast enough, stretched thin. We tried but it just isn’t enough.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I lost a victim once, she was about six years old” Nayeon puts her hand out, estimating the child’s height to Momo “Her mother committed suicide along with her and we got a tip off from a concerned neighbour regarding loud crashing sounds.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon rubs her hands together, trying to ease the discomfort crawling under her skin as she thinks back “When we arrived, the mother was already unresponsive while the little girl had been foaming at the mouth, squirming on the ground as she reached out to me” She stares at her right palm, remembering the feel of a weak little hand clutching desperately onto her fingers “I tried everything, forcing her to throw up, pumping her stomach…I told her to just wait a little while longer, that help was coming.” Nayeon sighs wearily “She died in my arms Momo; she had been looking at me as I tried saving her. She died looking at me as well.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She turns to look at a shocked Momo and reaches out to place a comforting hand on her thigh “I felt like you did then too. Felt hopeless and useless but,” Nayeon taps a rhythm on Momo’s thigh “All we can do is try our best right? As long as we give it our all, even if we can’t save them, we tried Momo. That’s what’s important. We need to try.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I know that there will be times where we would fail, but our duty is to protect and give hope to others. We’ll never be able to change the world if we do nothing, people are counting on us, so we need to try our best.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She nudges Momo with her knee, bumping them together and she plucks the badge out of Momo’s weak grip, thoughtfully clipping it back on. She pats the badge once it had been clipped on, adjusting Momo’s uniform to make her more presentable “Don’t give up Momo, let’s just give it our all okay,” She holds out a fist <em>“Partner?”</em> She says the last word in Japanese and Momo’s eyes shine with recognition, knocking her fist against Nayeon’s <em>“Partners.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>It was only natural that the two of them had bonded over long nights and stressful cases, Nayeon finds that she naturally sinks against Momo and lays her head on the Japanese’s shoulder, getting some shut eye after back-to-back investigations and Momo would hum softly, a Japanese lullaby that her mother use to sing to her when she was young and Nayeon relaxes instantaneously.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo always knows when to offer Nayeon a much-needed cup of coffee as she stresses over file cases, plopping down the Styrofoam cup and the alluring scent of coffee would jolt Nayeon straight up as she murmurs a thank you, sipping the drink with a blissful look on her face, letting out an exaggerated “Mmmm” and Momo would roll her eyes, remarking that it was just instant coffee.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had gotten into trouble a few times with the cafeteria ladies for attempting to wheedle her way into getting extra servings only to pout when she got admonished, staring at her tiny portions sadly. Nayeon would then discreetly slide her portion of meat, specifically bulgolgi and jokbal, over to Momo, using the excuse that she needed to watch her weight.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo swears she’ll take a bullet for Nayeon in a heartbeat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon would also make sure that the pantry was stocked up with Momo’s favourite snacks, buying her favourite brands and storing them away for her junior to stumble upon it as well as contorting her face to feign a look of utter surprise when Momo would excitedly run over to share her treasure, wielding the bag of chips like a trophy, joy oozing off her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They became a close-knit duo, solving cases side by side even when Momo had been promoted and wasn’t under Nayeon’s care anymore but Momo had insisted that Nayeon would still be regarded as her mentor no matter what.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She then met Momo’s girlfriend, Sana, while she had been out for a grocery run. The younger Japanese had reached over for the same box of cereal, smiling apologetically when their fingers touched as she motioned to let Nayeon have the box and reaching for the one next to it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana then pauses her actions and slowly turns her head to glance at Nayeon’s side profile once more, lighting up when she recognizes the face from Momo’s picture gallery, racing over for a hug, startling Nayeon who instinctively flung Sana over her shoulder, earning a squeak of surprise as the younger woman landed on her back, drawing attention from other shoppers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh my God! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Nayeon rapidly apologizes as she helps Sana to her feet, chocking when the younger woman wrapped her arms around Nayeon’s neck in an embrace, nearly choking the Korean.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hi! You must be Nayeonnie! Momo told me sooooooo much about you! She has a photo album labelled after you, you know? I’m so jealous, sometimes I wonder if she is cheating on me with you! I’m just kidding! Don’t look so serious! Say how is Momo at work? Is she serious? Or is she the lazy type?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon struggles to keep up with the speed that Sana had been prattling on, brain almost overloading as she briefly wondering if Sana had grown up in Korea due to her fluency and almost unnoticeable accent.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“N-Nayeonnie…?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana nods her head and gets even closer to her face, almost glomping Nayeon and the Korean stumbles back slightly from the added weight “Nayeonnie! Nayeon and Unnie!” She then pulls away slightly, eyes filled with concerned “It’s okay if I call you that right? You’ve been so good to my Momo, taking such good care of her for me that we’re practically family now!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon tilts her head to look beyond Sana’s shoulders to spot a sheepish Momo waving as she walks over, wrapping an arm around Sana’s waist and the bubbly woman immediately turns her attention to her girlfriend, squeezing herself into her embrace as if it’s been years since she last saw Momo and not just two minutes since they’ve separated.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry Sunbaenim, this is Sana, my girlfriend. She’s a little enthusiastic so…” She trails off, unsure how she was going to justify the borderline assault Sana had launched on Nayeon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s really nice to meet you Sana,” Nayeon straightens her uniform “Would you like to join us for lunch? My girlfriend booked a place just down the street. They have really good fried chicken!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo almost starts drooling at the thought of chicken while Sana perks up at the mention of a <em>girlfriend </em>had agreed instantaneously, eager to make new friends, especially one that Momo had spoken so highly of.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>By the end of their lunch, Jihyo had pulled Nayeon aside and whispered under her breath “we’re keeping them, they’re our kids now.” Leaving no room for argument.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>From then on, weekly dinners were scheduled and Nayeon would always match up her vacation days with Momo, arranging for camping trips or road trips for the four of them, making sure to fight for the days during school holidays as that’s usually when Sana would be free.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They had even designed matching pop sockets for their phones, indulging in cringey couple behaviour, affectionately dubbed ‘Tom and Jerry’ by their squad or ‘Dumb and Dumber’ by their respective girlfriends.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon had once sneakily replaced Momo’s nametag with ‘Idiot’ as she went on patrol duty, the younger woman had been blissfully ignorant, getting through the day with a smile on her face while onlookers did a double take, a few taking pictures which went viral on Twitter.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had been using her phone during her break and saw that Wonho, her colleague, had sent a link to their group chat attached with laughing emojis and she clicked on it, expecting to see a dancing meerkat or something and instead was stunned to see a picture of her own face, grinning contently with a glaringly obvious “Idiot” scrawled across her nametag with the caption “Thank you Officer Idiot, for keeping our streets safe!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana prints out a copy of the picture, hanging it in their living room much to Momo's chagrin. </p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo was always rather shy and reserved, taking time to warm up to others and while she had clicked with Nayeon really quickly, she still found it hard to push their relationship to the next level, often chickening out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Japanese had once walked up to Nayeon hesitantly while she was busy stirring a cup of instant coffee in the pantry, singing softly under her breathe only to let out a scream when Momo had snuck up on her, laying a cold hand on her shoulder as Nayeon crossed her arms over her eyes defensively.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Please don’t hurt me!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sunbaenim?” Nayeon felt a poke on her tummy and cracks open an eye to see an amused Momo staring at her quizzically.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh my God! Momo, Jesus you scared the shit out of me” Nayeon presses a hand over her chest, feeling her heart race while feeling embarrassed at the shriek she let out. Momo mumbles an apology before rubbing the back of her neck and she nervously stuttered, before she completely lost her nerve “I-Is it okay for me to call you…Unnie?” She mistook Nayeon’s stunned silence as rejection and hurriedly stumbled back, hands outstretched.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ah, it’s okay if you don’t want me to! It’s just that you remind of Hana you know? Like I feel safe and warm with you and-, what am I saying?! Sorry that was creepy please ignore me. I’m sorry if I made you uncom-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon places down her mug and grabs onto Momo’s hands, feeling amused at how sweaty her palms felt.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Breathe Momo, it’s just me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo lets out a shakily exhale and smiles abashedly, the tip of her ears turning red as she refuses to make eye contact.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, it’s just that…well, I see you as a sister…? Like someone I can count on, and you do give off the older sister vibe as well. Not that you’re old!” the younger woman denies rapidly, afraid of offending her mentor. “…Sorry Nayeon Sunbaenim.” Momo hangs her head low, awaiting the oncoming chastising for speaking informally and overstepping her boundaries.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Only to be surprised when she was pulled into a tight hug.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A <em>really </em>tight hug</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t…b-breathe”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oops!” Nayeon quickly releases her and Momo gasps for breath, messaging her sore ribs. “Sorry, sorry” the Korean press her palms together in a “I’m sorry” hand gesture, pouting slightly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay Sunbaenim, I’m fine.” Momo stands up straighter and punches her arms out in quick succession, showing off how fit she was before flexing her biceps jokingly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Unnie.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” Momo looks around the room to see who Nayeon was addressing but they were the only ones present.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon chuckles and tosses a pack of oatmeal cookies at Momo’s face, hitting her nose as the Japanese scrambles to catch the packet. “You used the wrong title Hirai. It’s Nayeon Unnie, not Sunbaenim.” She winks, trying to seem cool and positions her body awkwardly, hips accidentally colliding with her mug and sending it crashing to the floor, spilling hot coffee all over her boots. She curses out in pain while Momo immediately picks up a few handful of kitchen towels before wiping up the mess, blowing uselessly as she tries to cool Nayeon down.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She was later teased relentlessly by Jihyo who wouldn’t stop bullying her for failing to act aloof and indifferent. Nayeon whines when Jihyo pinches her cheek, smiling softly when Jihyo pecks her cheeks endearingly before helping her apply some ointment on the slight burn on her calf.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>From then the two women had become joined at the hip, establishing themselves as two of the best officers in the whole station and bringing the reputation of their department up. Regularly nailing down elusive perpetrators and even solving age old cold cases. They had been known for never refusing a case no matter how small, always giving their utmost best in solving each and every one assigned to them They were even featured in the news a few times.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>One of the most notable achievements they had was stopping an arsonist while he had been pouring kerosene over a few priceless portraits as the other rooms were washed over by flames, the stench of smoke choking the officers. They had managed to contain the spread of the fire as well as guiding out scared civilians who were huddled as far away as they could.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had pushed on even as she felt flames licking along her arms, gritting her teeth to prevent a wince from slipping out while flashing a confident grin at a child as she carried him out to his family.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Afterwards they were interviewed while covered in soot and Nayeon had complained that the reporter should have given her time to get her makeup done before interviewing her. Whining that the pictures did her no justice and she was way prettier than what was shown on TV.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hmm? I think that picture is an upgrade from how you normally look though.” Momo teases while she fills two cups with coffee in preparation of working through the night only to be tackled by the indignant woman, screaming at her to take it back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, okay! You’re the prettiest in my eyes~” Momo blew a kiss towards Nayeon, winking exaggeratedly and she grumbles but eases up, a pleased smile stretching across her lips.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The coffee machine beeps and Momo grabs a cup of coffee, blowing on it before taking a sip, pulling a face as she tastes the bitterness before Nayeon would instinctively offer her some creamer.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Y’know, I don’t understand why you kept going for the black coffee…you obviously can’t stand the taste so why bother? The caramel macchiato will suit your taste more.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo shrugs nonchalantly while stirring the creamer in “The bitterness wakes me up.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sips her coffee again, humming appreciatively at the sweet taste “And you’ll always make it sweeter for me.” She ends off with a wink only to get slugged in the shoulders by a disgusted Nayeon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Gross. Does those lines really work with Sana?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo wiggles her eyebrows suggestively “She can’t get enough of me and my lines are good, okay? You just have no taste.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon rolls her eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Along the years, Momo had grown. From the bumbling cadet who trips over her own shoelaces to the accomplished sergeant who commands respect when she walks into a room, it fills Nayeon with pride that she had bear witness to Momo’s tremendous growth and she feels humbled that Momo feels the same way about her, the younger woman proclaimed herself as Nayeon’s number one fan.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had been there to see the sheer elation light up Momo’s face when she solved her first case, just a simple one regarding a robbery and the culprit had been an amateur judging from the messy crime scene and the numerous fingerprints he so generously left behind.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It had been nothing special but to Momo it finally felt like she made a small contribution to making the world a little safer. A smile seemed permanently etched on her face as she hands back the stolen cash to the feeble owner, blushing as he thanked her profusely.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even when Momo had been assigned cases that no one had wanted, she accepted with a smile and worked hard on every last one of them, earning her a reputation among the locals as someone who is always there to lend a hand and they treated Momo as one of their won in return, giving her with extra side dishes and larger portions when she frequents their restaurants.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes the locals would even pop by the station armed with Momo’s favourite dishes and leaving it on the reception desk for her to enjoy to which Sana would always joking demand to know whose cooking tastes better, hers or theirs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon had been there when Momo had been promoted and had attended the badge pinning ceremony along with Sana as part of Momo’s family when the Hirais couldn’t get a ticket on such short notice and she wielded a video camera, determined to record down one of the proudest moments of her life.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re doing great sweetie!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Only to be shushed rather rudely by other attendants.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had felt like she’s been teleported back to her first day at work, once again fumbling with the mic as she begins her thank you speech and she feels herself quaking in her boots when she notices just how many occupants were in the room, all staring at her expectantly and the words die in her throat, seizing up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Woohoo! Hirai!” A whoop could be heard from the crowd and Momo makes eye contact with an ecstatic Nayeon while Sana apologizes to the other attendants for the disruption. She feels her lips tugging upwards instinctively and relaxes as she stands a little taller, accepting her badge with a salute and Nayeon feels herself tearing up a little, sniffling discreetly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>They weren’t only close during work.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon had gotten married earlier than Momo did and she remembers how the younger woman had stayed by her side as she freaks out, brandishing the engagement ring and rambling through different proposal ideas as well as giving her inputs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe you could wear a bear costume? And approach Jihyo before giving her a balloon! I’ll shoot the balloon while dressed like cupid-but no diapers-and when it pops, a ring will fall out!” Momo spreads her fingers as she gestures widely “And then you’ll remove the bear head and kneel to the ground and propose and I’ll serenade Jihyo while Sana can toss petals over your heads! She’ll love it!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Have you ever done archery Momo?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…No? But I’m good with a gun so that means I’m good with arrows too!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No thanks, what if you accidentally shoot Jihyo? I want to spend the rest of my life with her <em>alive</em>.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They had settled on the cheesy “Put the ring in a cake and watch her bite into it before proposing” Plan which they had been sure would be easy to pull off. Only, Jihyo had taken a HUGE bite of her cake, swallowing and choking on the ring while Nayeon, in her haste to save her girlfriend, triped and landed on another table, splattering sauce everywhere and getting pepper in her eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She flails desperately as she tries to rub the pepper out of her stinging eyes and accidentally bumps into a waiter who had been serving flaming lobster.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The curtains caught fire, and everyone had to evacuate.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>On the bright side, Jihyo agreed to marry her and Nayeon slid the spit-covered ring onto her finger, softly promising to love her forever.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had labelled the night an epic fail, jeering at her mentor and Sana elbows her in the ribs, chiding her girlfriend to be nice.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>She was also there when Momo had nervously dialed her number late at night, rambling at the speed of light and the only words Nayeon caught were “Sana”, “ring” and “marriage” and her scandalized squeal had gotten her kicked out of bed by her irate wife who lobed a pillow right at her head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon had helped Momo practice her wedding speech, running through different scenarios such as Nayeon tossing a champagne flute right at Momo’s face if Sana hates the ring and Momo splutters, whining if such a scenario was needed and Nayeon would huff, exclaiming that it’s always better to be prepared.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The speech turned out to be unneeded as Sana had already screamed “Yes!” the moment Momo dropped on one knee, tackling Momo into a hug and sending the ring flying into a bush, hitting Nayeon in the head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon denies hiding in the bushes to spy on Momo, discreetly sliding the binoculars behind her back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She will also never admit bursting into tears when Momo proudly revealed her intertwined hand with Sana’s showing off the gleaming ring and shyly remarked “She said yes!” Nayeon remembers wiping away her tears, smudging her mascara while being bullied by Jihyo, who has also been wiping away tears, for being a softie.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo quickly pushed Sana and Momo into a corner and positions Sana before snapping a picture with her camera. Sana wails and demands the picture to be tossed away because she looks horrible but Jihyo pays her no mind, fanning the polaroid and her features softens when it develops, capturing the pure love in Momo’s eyes as she gazes towards her crying fiancée.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon remembers rolling over her hotel bed, pulling away from Jihyo’s warm body and blinding groping for her incessantly vibrating phone, cracking an eye open to swipe through her notifications and jerks up when she sees that she has two hundred and sixty missed calls from Sana and about a thousand messages from her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She remembers losing her mind when she heard that Momo had been in a shoot out just down the streets and curses the Japanese for trying to play hero while unarmed. She had nearly wanted to end her honeymoon just to visit Momo in the hospital, but her junior refused to hear of it, demanding her to spend time with her new wife or she’ll burn the limited IU photocard she had gotten for Nayeon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon stayed in LA.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jackson, an officer three years her senior, had recounted how Sana had stormed the station and demanded to speak to the chief, screaming about how could they-how <em>dare </em>they-allow this to happened to Momo and how she would never <em>ever </em>forgive them should Momo never wake up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon was glad she stayed in LA, gaining a new fear of the younger Japanese.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It took a few months before Momo returned to work, but she did so with a spring in her steps and a new <em>cool battle scar</em> to show off. She literally pulled up her shirt at anyone who bothered to ask about her injuries to brag about it and only stopping when Sana requested her to, hands tugging down her shirt as her eyes filled with tears.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t like seeing it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong Satang?” Momo pulls Sana closer towards her and the younger woman nuzzles against her neck, feeling her heartbeat under her hands.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana traces the outline of the scar lightly, careful not to place too much pressure on it “I don’t like seeing you hurt,” She looks up pleadingly “Please be more careful?” And Momo softens, pecking her fiancée on the lips “Okay, I promise.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon feels as though the two lovebirds have completely forgotten her existence as she hovers awkwardly near them, not knowing if she should clear her throat or just leave.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Guys? I’m still here y’know?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had been walking to the washroom when Momo had appeared out of nowehere and dragged her into an empty cubicle, covering Nayeon’s mouth when the older woman had wanted to scream.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Momo?! What are you doing?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo twiddled her fingers and rattled off “UnniecouldyoupleasedomeafavourandbemymaidofhonourattheweddingIreallywantyoutobetheone!!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon blinks as she slowly processes the word vomit before a smile twitches up her lips and she lunged at Momo, squealing her ear off as she spun her around in the cramped cubicle before pulling her phone out and frantically looking through Pinterest for wedding ideas, declaring that Momo’s wedding is going to be the <em>best </em>in the entire world.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Second to her own of course.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon had became <em>insufferable</em>. She decided to oversee every single wedding plan Momo had drafted up and added her own twist to it. She had also been the harshest critic when Sana had asked for her opinions on wedding gowns.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No that’s too poofy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No that’s too lacy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Nope!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Nah.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ew, what <em>is </em>that? Put it back in the trash where it belongs!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She’ll make Sana twirl and bend at impossible angles before huffing “It doesn’t quite hug your curves the right way!” Nayeon digs through the racks and tossing the nth gown at Sana, snapping her fingers and requesting for the younger woman to try it on pronto.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After the fiftieth dress, Sana had been ready to call it quits, exhausted at all the lacing up. “Nayeonnie, maybe I should just randomly choose one-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon jabs a finger at Sana’s face, flicking her nose slightly “Do you want to just <em>wear </em>a dress, or do you want to make Momo faint?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana listens to Nayeon intently afterwards, following her every comment strictly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When she wasn’t busy with the preparations, she was busy calming down a nervous Momo who was going through the worst-case scenarios of how Sana was going to realize her mistake and leave her at the altar.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had been pacing relentlessly, wearing out her dress shoes as she talks to herself “This is a mistake, Sana’s going to realize she can do better.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She starts chewing on her fingernails, a nervous habit she’s been trying to get rid of forever. Nayeon turns her nose up at the revolting act and yanks Momo’s fingers out of her mouth before punching her softly in the shoulder.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Momo,” She levels her eyes with the younger woman “Momo, it’s going to be okay.” She urges Momo to take a deep breath and places a comforting hand on her back, feeling the way Momo’s heart races and wonders if she should have the ambulance on standby in case of a heart attack “Sana loves you; she loves you <em>so </em>much. She’s never going to leave, trust me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon adjusts Momo’s tie and smooths down her dress shirt before plucking a rose from the nearby vanity table and sliding it down the front pocket of Momo’s tuxedo coat. She then licks her palm and runs it through Momo’s hair, flattening the erratic strands and Momo moves her head away with an “Ew gross!” only to be yanked back in place “Stay still!” Nayeon remarks annoyedly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Once she was done fussing over Momo, she steps back and admires her best friend, who cuts a dashing figure in her get up. She lets out a whistle of appreciation and Momo blushes, fidgeting with her coat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Now if Sana really does leave you at the altar-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Unnie!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m <em>just</em> saying! If she does leave you, then I volunteer to be your wife.” Nayeon puckers up and leans in to close the gap between their faces as Momo shoves her away, laughing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo cried the moment the church doors opened, hiccuping as Sana made her way down the aisle with her father, Makoto, by her side. He passed Sana’s hand onto Momo’s and leans in to mumble into her ear <em>“Please take good care of my baby Momo-chan.” </em>And Momo wipes her tears away on her sleeve before giving a mock salute, cracking up the audience.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When she slowly lifted the veil, Sana peeked up at her and leans forward to bump their noses together, rubbing them lightly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“H-Hi” Momo stutters, gazing tenderly at her, like she can’t believe this is actually happening.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hi” Sana replies in kind, giggling when Momo’s face twists into a goofy smile.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The minister clears his throat, furrowing his brow when the couple refuses to glance his way, too enamoured with one another and he shakes his head good naturedly, cutting the wedding officiating ceremony short, requesting for the ring exchange.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As she slides the ring onto Sana’s finger, Momo feels as though a weight has been lifted off her and she feels like soaring.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Today is the first day of the rest of my life </em>She thinks as Sana slides the matching ring onto her finger. She then brings up Sana’s hand and presses a kiss onto the ring, maintaining eye contact and Sana silently tears up at the endearing gesture, feeling her heart swell with love.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I love you. I love you. I love you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon cries loudly, breaking the silence in the chapel.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>While everyone had been mingling and congratulating the new married couple, Nayeon discreetly pulled Momo aside after the reception and pushed a black box into her hands, winking and mouthing “Have fun!” and she cackles when she sees the way Momo flushes when she discovers the box’s contents.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana had peeked over her wife’s shoulders and her eyebrows raises in pleasant surprise before flashing a quick thumbs up at Nayeon and dragging her wife away, smirking at Momo’s reddened face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana spams their group chat with multiple pictures and videos she took during her honeymoon in Hawaii, posing cutely while Momo is often caught in an unflattering angle.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <span class="u">GAYBIES</span> </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Sana</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Image]</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Image]</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Image]</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Jihyo</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nabongs, why didn’t you bring me to Hawaii :’( Look at how much fun Sana is having…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Nayeon</em>
</p><p>
  <em>???</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You said you liked LA!!!</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Sana</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Image]</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Image]</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Video]</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Momo</em>
</p><p>
  <em>DELETE!!!!</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had called Nayeon, in the middle of the night, three am to be precise, asking to meet up near the local playground.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had sounded eerily quiet and calm, her voice lacking her usually spunk and Nayeon had swiftly put on her coat, giving Jihyo a kiss goodbye before rubbing her tiny bump, “Bye bye baby, Mommy will be back soon!” and running towards the meetup spot, worried something was wrong.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She spots Momo sitting by herself on the swing set, swaying herself back and forth and she plops down beside her, matching Momo’s swing with hers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo stops swinging but doesn’t look up, staring intently on the ground as she draws circles in the sand using her foot.</p><p> </p><p>“Momo?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…You know that treatment you recommended? The one that allows two women to have biological kids together?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The gears in Nayeon’s head starts grinding. “You mean the one Hyo and I did?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo nods affirmatively.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, why?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo finally looks up with a dazed look in her eyes “It worked.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“W-What? What worked?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“The treatment worked; Sana’s pregnant.” Momo seems to glow under the moonlight “I’m going to be a mom!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon stills, eyes widened before a disbelieving laugh puffed through her lips “R-Really?!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re going to be a mom?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes!”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re going to be a mom?!”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes!”</p><p> </p><p>She reaches forward to pull Momo into a hug, the momentum toppling them over into the sand as they laughed loudly, rousing the neighborhood dogs who started barking in tandem with their cheers.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo had demanded that the two families should embark on furniture shopping together, claiming that this would be a good bonding experience and who was Nayeon to deny whatever her wife wanted?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The moment Jihyo set eyes on the baby clothes, she was gone and Sana along with her. The two of them had been giggling up a storm over baby booties onesies, leaving Nayeon and Momo to do the heavy lifting.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana had showed off the cutest shoes to Momo who balked when she noticed the price tag.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Satang…these shoes alone cost me at least half my paycheck…”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But they’re so cute!” She wiggles the shoes, imitating a baby walking.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“The baby can’t even walk yet so it’s just gonna be unused!” Momo bends down to speak softly to Sana’s bump, hands caressing the swell “Hey baby, can you back mommy up here? Tell mama you don’t need expensive shoes!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had said it jokingly but there was the faintest kick in response to her and Momo’s fingers twitched as she felt the vibration. Her face screws up with confusion before happiness slowly spreads across her features, glancing up at Sana who stares back adoringly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I felt it! The baby kicked!” Momo peppers kisses around the bump “Baby, can you do it again? One more time!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She pressed her ear against Sana and waits patiently, her fingers tapping out “<em>I love you” </em>in Morse code and Sana melts when she recognizes the rhythm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It took awhile but the baby slowly shifted and kick twice, Momo squealing at each movement before snatching the shoes off Sana’s hands and adding it to the cart.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mommy’s wallet is wiiide open for you baby!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon had been gleefully pointing out the cutest chairs and cribs designed for babies only to grimace when looking through the price tag. It doesn’t even look like anything special! Just a bed with a baby mobile hanging on top.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon swears her wallet cringed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She bets she could put together something like that in her sleep. She shifts her attention to the other display models which had small monitors attached to them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Do babies even watch TV?” She mutters as she flips through the pamphlet, eyes widening comically when she notices the price and quickly move on to the next section, dragging Momo who had been testing the cuddle-ness of all the soft toys and Sana muses whether the toys were for the baby or for her wife.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon instead tried to make a crib herself, purchasing wood and paint buckets and roping an eager Momo into her shenanigans, the two of them hammering away in the nursery room for days only to step back proudly and look at their creation which, for the record, looks <em>nothing </em>like a crib. It looked like someone had just nailed a few pieces of wood together and called it a day.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Covered in paint splatters, Momo had boastfully showed off their creations to an unimpressed Jihyo while Sana doesn’t know how to break the news to her wife that perhaps carpentry is not her strong suit.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Heh, like what you’re seeing?” Nayeon leaned cockily against the “crib” only for it to literally fall apart at the slightest touch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>In the end she bought that dastardly expensive crib.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She eyes her bank balance with a sigh, feeling the ache but at least Jihyo seems happy with her purchase, fawning over the heating pad under the mattress.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She looks over to see Sana badgering Momo for a similar crib design, cooing over the cutest designs painted by the side, declaring that the baby would want one like it while the older Japanese submits pitifully, pulling out her wallet.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>With pregnant wives comes explosive mood swings and both Nayeon and Momo had to bear the brunt of it as well as the spontaneous crying sessions and screaming matches. The two of them normally seek refuge at the playground as they try to wait out the danger.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon had whined about her eyebags during work and Momo had found herself the victim of texts spams and midnight calls from Nayeon weeping about Jihyo’s pregnancy cravings and mood swings, begging the younger woman to save her from this misery while Momo would complain about Sana’s sudden increased in neediness and how many times she’s been kept up at night by her wife jumping onto her only to be smacked by Nayeon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Look! Sana scratched up my back last night and now it hurts to lean on my chair-” Momo whines and got a well-deserved elbow to the ribs, letting out a “oof!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Seriously? You’re complaining about getting some? I’ll kill to be in your position! Instead the moment I get home, Hyo just throws her legs onto my lap and demands for a foot massage. I want cuddles but apparently the baby doesn’t like the extra body heat, so I have to sleep on the couch! God, my back hurts.” Nayeon pouts and kicks the sand in front of her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sneezes and spits out some of the sand particles that flew into her mouth, gagging.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You think that’s tough? Sana wakes me up in the dead of the night asking for dim sum! <em>Dim sum</em>! Where am I supposed to find those at two in the morning? But if you tell her that she’ll cry, and I’ll feel like absolute shit when she does.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The playground was an escape for both of them where they could just vent about everything and anything, relaxing as they just simply enjoyed each other’s presence. Momo would bring along a few bags of chips while Nayeon lugs a pack of beer and the two of them can stay there till dawn breaks, determined to stay away until their wives realizes their worth.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But the moment they get a message from their wives asking where they were, they would hop off the swing set and jet back home immediately, wishing to pamper their wives.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Didn’t you say you felt underappreciated?” Momo cups her mouth and lets out a whipping sound effect while Nayeon shoves her roughly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Their unit specializes in homicide along with drug law enforcement while the latter was usually on the smaller scale of drug abuse, normally by stressed office workers. But recently they had been noticing a spike in the number of drug abuse cases among teens and young women as well as chancing upon more underground brothels disguised as massage parlours with scared women huddled in there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Brothels are illegal in Korea and to see the sheer number of girls in those buildings rang an alarm in the Korean police force especially when it was discovered from the blood sample sent to the forensic department that all the girls were heavily addicted to drugs to the point where they can’t function without an hourly dose.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Through network tracing it was deduced that the drug distribution source was most likely not local which makes it even harder to track down the perpetrators. The public have started to notice that something was amiss, with all the daily reports of missing women and bodies turning up in the news.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Desperate to keep this situation under wraps, the Korean government has issued an order for the police force to focus on this case alone to put an end to it lest the public’s weakening confidence in the government would affect the general elections in the coming months.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Thus, their department was then handed a case that was far bigger than anything they had ever done.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo flips through the case files and read through it intently.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She reads through grisly details such as disembowelment, missing women, seppuku, missing fingers, defilation and charred bodies. One thing the victims had in common was the burn mark on their bodies resembling a <strong>“</strong><strong>やまぐ</strong><strong>ち</strong><strong>”</strong> That had been seared into their flesh while the victims were still alive.</p><p>   </p><p> </p><p><em>Yamaguchi</em>, this name rings a bell in Momo’s head before being replaced by alarm sirens. The Yakuza. They had been tasked with bringing down an <em>entire</em> Yakuza clan. The Yamaguchi was feared in Japan as they were the biggest Yakuza gang to monopolize the Japanese underworld. Momo remembers her mother cautioning her that should she misbehave, the Yamaguchi would snatch her away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Apparently, the clan had decided to branch out their activities to Korea, targeting young women looking for jobs, usually those who are looking to strike out in the entertainment industry and promising them wealth, fortune and most of all fame.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They had lured in hundreds of women with promises of glitz and glamour only to trap them in a drug induced state for their ‘patrons’ to enjoy, used as drug mules or worse, harvesting their body parts and sold into the black market. It had been alarming, how quickly the number of missing women reports had surged in just two weeks, effectively raising the alarm in their district.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Law enforcement in Japan had turned a blind eye to the Yamaguchi’s ruthless activities due to hefty bribes and that had been one of the reasons why Momo opted to work in Korea. She didn’t like how the politicians and governments back home would ignore how the gang operates in favour of rigging the poll just to stay in power.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had wanted to make a difference in the world and she can’t do that back in Japan, not when every high ranked officer was most likely corrupted by greed.</p><p> </p><p>So, after graduating from the academy, she applied for Korea and Sana had tagged along without hesitation. She had initially thought about letting Sana go, deciding it was too cruel to make her girlfriend choose between her family and herself but when she entered their shared apartment with the grave news hanging above her head, Sana had flung a backpack at her direction, urging Momo to start packing up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>C’mon Momo! We have too much clothes to bring over so just choose your favourites and the rest can be donated or placed with our parents.”</em> Sana hurriedly zips up a luggage, wheeling it to the side of the room before moving on to cutleries, carefully wrapping porcelain plates in bubble wraps.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo inches towards Sana and pulls her into a back hug, resting her chin on her girlfriend’s shoulder and Sana pauses her wrapping, placing one hand behind Momo’s hand and caressing her hair in a soothing manner.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Are you sure? Japan’s your home and your parents will miss you…”</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana spins around in Momo’s embrace to face her “<em>I can facetime them every day and I’m okay with going anywhere as long as I’m with you</em>.” She nudges their noses together “<em>Together, forever right?</em>” and Momo softens, tilting her head downwards to capture Sana’s lips in a gentle kiss.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She bumps their foreheads together once they separated and nods faintly “<em>Forever.”</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana had adapted so well to Korean culture, picking up the language like a fish to water and she was almost indistinguishable from a natural born Korean, easily communicating with the elders and picking up slangs to blend in with people their age.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Every morning she would greet her neighbors brightly, bringing them baked goods and sharing recipes. The locals had been slightly frosty when they moved in but through time and Sana’s unrelenting persistence and charm, they started warming up to the two Japanese.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Where’s Sana?” Her neighbors would ask whenever they saw Momo, pushing packed food into her arms, insisting that it was no big deal when Momo would try to decline.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo would set down the items given to her on the table and watches the way Sana’s face would light up, delighted at the gifts and Momo feels her heart throbbing, an unspoken <em>Forever? </em>ringing out as she opens her mouth to accept the cookie Sana had offered her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Forever </em>is what Sana’s eyes would answer, shining with adoration as she wipes away the cookie crumbs sticking to the side of Momo’s lips, replacing her fingers with her lips. She giggles when Momo would purposely dust cookie crumbs on her lips in hopes that Sana would kiss it away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>One day.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Just <em>one</em> day.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That’s all it took to completely shatter Momo’s world.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>12:28:53</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo had kissed Sana goodbye by the door as her wife adjusted her police cap, tugging her forward by her tie for another kiss before Momo bends down to nose against her rounded stomach, rubbing it lovingly and murmuring “Bye baby, mommy has to go to work now.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She quickly taps out <em>I love you</em>, delighted to feel a strong kick in response and she places a lingering kiss on her belly, hoping the baby can feel the sheer affection her mother has for her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo pulls Sana in for one final and she grins when she feels the way Sana smiles against her lips.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I love her. I love her. I love her.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Bye Moguri” Sana mumbles against her lips “See you tonight.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>8:15:12</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo calls Sana during her lunchtime, happily picking at her bento box. Sana had decorated her food items into an image of Sailor Moon and included a small omelette with the words “<em>Have a good day!</em>” scribbled in mayonnaise.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She swiftly blocks Nayeon’s chopstick as the older woman tried to swipe some of her egg rolls and perks up when Sana picks up her call.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Moguri! Do you like your lunch today? I worked hard”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p> “I know you do, and I love it. My wife is sooo good at cooking!”</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Ah-!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo sits up right and presses the phone closer to her ear at the cry of pain. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “No no, it seems like the baby was excited when she heard your voice!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo’s eyes crinkle up as she smiles broadly, heart fluttering at the thought of her daughter. “Can I talk to her?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana hums in agreement before she slides the phone down to her bump, turning the speaker on.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hello? Baby, can you hear me? It’s mommy!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana laughs when she feels the baby shift inside of her, probably thrilled to hear Momo’s voice.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I hope you’ve been good to your mama; she’s working hard to take care of you so be nice to her okay? Mommy promises to read you a story tonight if you behave.” Momo chides the baby gently as she smiles into her phone, Nayeon quickly snaps a shot of this moment before sending it to the group chat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Baby knows and she behaves! I think she just misses you…can you come home earlier today? We can cuddle and watch Netflix, I heard some new anime are featured already.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo sighs and eyes the pile of paperwork on her table “I don’t think so Sana, I’ll try to finish up quickly today, but I may be late.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She can practically hear the pout in Sana’s voice as she reluctantly agreed, telling Momo to not push herself and to stay safe before she hangs up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo places her phone on the table before glaring at her paperwork, hoping it would just burst into flames when suddenly a new pile was added onto it. She looks up to see Jackson sheepishly placing a few more case files down “New leads, boss wants you to sort them out.” And she groans painfully, slamming her head down on the table with a thud.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon pats her back with compassion.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>2:37:44</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She pours over the case files, tagging the incidents date by date and trying to establish a pattern while Nayeon places an order for dinner. Feeling her eyes ache, Momo decides to take a step back and relax for a bit, pulling her phone out to quickly text an apology to Sana for missing dinner with her again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Moguri :D</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sorry Satang but I got caught up at work ;( Don’t think I can make it for dinner tonight</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Satang &lt;3</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh…well that’s alright, your job is important, but you need to make it up to me with kisses okay &gt;&lt;</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Image]</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The bed is cold without you :’(</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Do you have plans for dinner? I can drop by with a bento box!</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Moguri :D</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes yes lot’s of kisses for you and baby [Kiss emoji]</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nayeon’s taking care of that now! I think she’s getting pizza :D</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Image]</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My paperwork…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Satang &lt;3</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Omg that’s a mountain…poor baby I’ll bake some tarts for you to cheer you up :D does Nayeonnie want some too?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Image]</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This is what the tarts will look like! If everything goes well TT</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’ll be done in maybe two hours? I’ll start mixing the batter now!! &gt;&lt;</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Moguri :D</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Baby it’s getting late and it’s tiring to walk all the way here, you need to rest. I’ll have the tarts when I get back home tonight.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Satang &lt;3</em>
</p><p><em>But I miss you </em> <em>☹ the baby misses you too…I need cuddles!!!</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Momo chuckles fondly, earning a confused stare from Nayeon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Moguri :D</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alright then, I’ll be waiting eagerly for you :*</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Satang &lt;3</em>
</p><p>
  <em>See you :*</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo squints her eye and tilts her head, hoping a different angle will allow her to make sense of things but all she’s noticing is an erratic scatter of activities, even the victims were different. Both men and women had been targeted from the ages of fourteen to fifty-two.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayoun plops down on her chair as she swivels around mindlessly. They had been staring at the whiteboard for <em>hours </em>and none of them had made any leeway yet. She flips through the photos taken of the crime scenes with indifference, the years spent in the force has rendered her almost immune to gory details.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well one thing’s for sure, they really like attacking in alleyways,” Nayeon looks at the photos of the women that had recently been rescued at a camp “and they favour Asian women, preferably young? But then again there had been six middle age women as well as Caucasians…” She drops her head back and groans.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We’re really getting nowhere huh?” Momo mused sulkily as she rubs her eyes tiredly, feeling her head throb.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Cheer up! Besides dinner is coming in,” Nayeon checks the delivery status “twenty minutes!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo drops her head onto her desk when her walkie talkie blared to life, the static voice of her supervisor filling the otherwise silent room and she fumbles to increase the volume.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Alpha 12<sup>th</sup> do you copy? Alpha 12<sup>th</sup> come in.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon snatches the walkie talkie away from Momo and pushes the younger woman’s face away when she tries to grab it back “Alpha 12<sup>th</sup> speaking, what is the situation sir?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…There has been signs of illegal activities near the abandoned scrapyard, I’ll like you guys to check it out since Alpha 10<sup>th</sup> is in Busan and Delta 5<sup>th</sup> only has two members on active duty today.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo scribbles down the coordinates that her supervisor provides, giving an affirmative “Yes sir!” She writes a little note on a post-it for Sana, making sure to decorate it with hearts and leaves it to the security guard manning the reception counter before grabbing her coat and heading out into the night.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The scrapyard had been strategically hidden among the trees, hiding any signs of life.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo and her team had stealthily made their way through the forest, noticing fresh cigarette butts littered around as well as the low thump of music bursting through the doors, flashing lights seen underneath and they stationed themselves in front of the main entrance, waiting for Momo’s signal while Nayeon skulks about, checking for guards.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The flimsy door gives way just after a strong kick and her squad files into the warehouse, barking at the tattooed men lounging around in a daze to put their hands in the air.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officers scope the area out, unleashing the K9s who immediately made for the crates, barking and nosing the covers open, revealing various bottles of illegal alcohol and crates filled with ammunition.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon sidled into a room on the second level and finds a gaggle of naked women passed out on the ground, bruises littering their bodies. She scans through their bodies in search of life-threatening injuries and nods to herself when she finds none, cupping her mouth to yell out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“All clear!” She shouts and Momo gives her a thumbs up from the ground floor, she stakes a step towards the back of the warehouse when her eyes caught several figures darting towards the exit.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She quickly dodges as a crate came flying out of nowhere, smashing on the ground and leaped over a fallen bookcase that was pushed in hopes of blocking the path.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Nayeon I’ll leave this area to you! Jackson and Wonho, with me!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The three of them hurried after the escaping gang members only to realize quite a few of them had used their fellow members as a diversion to sneak away. One of them pulls a gun out from his pocket, aiming blindly before firing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Deciding immediately, Momo goes after the one leaping over the barbed fence while Jackson and Wonho split up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The youngster dodged through the alleyway with practiced ease as he weaved through the crowd, elbowing them out of the way and smashing the butt of his gun against anyone who wouldn’t budge as he frantically squeezes through the gaps but Momo was far quicker, leaping onto a hanging ladder before swinging her body, using the momentum and kicking out with all her strength, nailing him in the head as he drops to the ground with a thud.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo makes her way over and handcuffs him, panting from the exertion. She’s going to be sore tomorrow, but a small smile makes it way though her face as she hauls the unconscious man up across her shoulders.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She figures it’ll be a cool story to share with Sana over her tarts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>0:0:59</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana hums happily as she walks along the bustling evening crowd, everyone trying to catch the bus to get home just in time for dinner. She talks out loud, hands rubbing her bump. “<em>Hey baby, do you know where we are?”</em> The baby kicks softly in response and Sana grins, nose scrunching up “<em>We’re going to see mommy! Are you excit- ”</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Someone bumps into her roughly and she stumbles, hands shooting out to hold onto them for support as she rights herself on her feet, wobbling slightly. The hooded man snarls when he felt someone holding onto him tightly, he looks around and relaxes just a tad when he doesn’t see any blue uniforms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, are you okay?” She asks in concern, taking in the sight nervous darting eyes and the clammy feel of cold sweat on his hands as he smacks Sana’s hand off him. The man’s nostril flares in irritation and he grits his teeth, looking animalistic, hands tightening around something that Sana couldn’t make out under the dim streetlamp.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Fucking dogs, they don’t know who they’re messing with!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Sana’s eyebrows fly up when she recognizes the heavy Kansai-ben wrapping around his words.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>0:0:36</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She places an arm on him again, wondering if he was new in the area and had gotten lost and he glares harshly at her touch, jerking back and his hood slides down, revealing a rough looking face in desperate need of a shave.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What caught her attention was the large tattoo inked onto the right side of his face, covering what looks like old scar tissues, giving him a rather sinister appearance and わかがしらwas etched right on his neck, coiling around like a snake.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana freezes.<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p><em>“Ah, you saw my face…” </em>He tsked, rubbing a hand across his face before his lips twitches up in a mirthless smile, slowly cornering Sana <em>“Sorry beautiful, but I can’t let you go now.”</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Stop right there!” Sana turns her head and sees a police officer a few metres behind them struggling to push past the crowd, earning more than a few disgruntled stares and complains as he apologizes and shuffles through the gaps.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She was then suddenly shoved to the ground, the vertigo causes Sana’s head to spin, knees scraping against the pavement. Her grunt of pain only earns her a few curious looks from the crowd, but no one steps forward to offer a hand.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>0:0:12</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The man just stares at Sana with a strange look in his eyes, as if playing a game of cat and mouse with her. His feet shifts subconsciously as if he doesn’t know which direction to turn to before he rocks on his heels, bending down slightly to look Sana in the eyes and feels the sick thrill of glee shoot up his spine when Sana stares back, eyes filled with fear as she trembles, pulling her cardigan closer to her body and hiding her bump.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He points a gloved finger at Sana, gravelly voice mocking her “<em>Nothing personal”  </em>before reaching back and pulling out a gun.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Sana swallows and nervously speaks out, hoping to buy some time for the officer to arrive <em>“Please…please don’t hurt me.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>He raises a brow, lips tugged down in pleasant disbelief <em>“Oh? This is a surprise…” </em>He cocks his gun and sways it teasingly <em>“I really hate doing this to my fellow countrymen, especially to such a beautiful woman but,” </em>He levels a gun at Sana, a sadistic smile playing on his lips when she closes her eyes, hands covering her bump protectively, as if trying to shield her baby. Sana wiggles back, trying to put as much distance between her and the gangster as she can.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo. Momo. Momo.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her back hits the wall.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo. Momo. Momo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Bye bye”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Wa-”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>0:0:0</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>He shoots.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>He spits in frustration when he notices the persistent blue uniform chasing after him even when he went through the hassle of weaving through the underground tunnels and alleyways.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Fucking dogs, they don’t know who they’re messing with!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Once he finds out who leaked their hideout, he’ll tear them to pieces before feeding them to the crocodiles alive.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He then feels a cold palm resting on his arm and instantly yanks back, hood falling, and he curses, hands flying to cover his face from the nosy woman, but it was too late.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She stares in shock at his tattoos, mouth falling open as her eyes flits from tattoo to tattoo, trying to establish what they mean and his hand clenches when he notices the bitch staring at his scars, wishing he could just pummel her to a bloody mess right this instance.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Once he got a good look, he realizes that the woman was actually quite beautiful, a shame she was pregnant though, he knows a few customers who would enjoy a face like hers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Ah, you saw my face…” </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He can’t let her go now; she’s seen too much. What if she went to the cops? His father would-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>No.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He has to end this now.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Sorry beautiful, I can’t let you go now.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Hmm…shooting in the middle of a crowd isn’t ideal but oh well, the situation calls for it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He prepares to pull his gun out, but a shout rang through the crowd.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Stop right there!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ah seriously, he’s getting pissed off now.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He glances down at the woman quivering in front of him and he smirks, enjoying the look of fear in her eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He aimed right at her, feeling a little sad that he would mar the face of such a pretty woman, but a trembling voice distracts him for a moment, he lowers his gun as he tilts his head in surprise, pleased to hear the familiar accent of his hometown.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He almost wants to let her go.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Almost.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shame, she would really be a good addition to his collection.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>His lips twist into a dry laugh before shooting once, twice, thrice and one final time for good measure.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The loud shots rang out in the air and sent the crowd into a panic, everyone started shoving at each other, trying to get out of danger while the unfortunate victim had collapsed, catching the attention of the officer, effectively distracting him and preventing him from giving chase due to the unruly civilians. The officer peeks out and tries to locate the culprit but was unable to get a good look due to being shoved around.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He pockets his gun, pulling his hood back on and even lower to cover his face and slouches, giving one last glance towards the woman bleeding on the ground, clawing lightly as she feels her body going into shock.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He slips away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had been heading towards the interrogation room, prepared to pressure a confession out of her prisoner only to be stopped by a shaken Nayeon who gently lays a hand on her biceps and leads her towards an unoccupied room, out of earshot.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She locks the door and presses her forehead against the frame, collecting herself while Momo shifts her weight impatiently from one foot to the other.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey Unnie! Sana’s coming by soon, so I have to make this quick, wanna join me for the interrogation? We could always do good cop and bad cop!” She jokes but her smile slowly diminishes when she sees how pale Nayeon looks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Nayeon…? Is everything okay? Is it Jihyo?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon pulls Momo towards a chair and pushes her down on it softly. Her eyes darts around the room, unwilling to look at Momo because she knows her composure would crack, and she would cry the moment she does.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She has to stay strong, for Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey what’s wrong?” Momo’s soothing voice wraps around Nayeon as she struggles to push out the words lodged in her throat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Momo…I need you to remain calm okay?” Nayeon looks up at the ceiling, willing her tears not to fall. She bites her lip hard and tastes the metallic taste of blood fill her mouth.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The younger woman raises a brow at the odd request but decides to play along and smiles encouragingly, nodding her head to prompt the Korean to continue.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon breathes out noisily and runs her hands through her hair, trying to find the words.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s…I-It’s Sana.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon had the foresight to choose the room furthest away from the rest of her department as well as locking the door before belatedly realizing that she shouldn’t have bothered with turning the lights on because now, now she can see how Momo’s face flits through a myriad of emotions.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon silently turns off their walkie talkies.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>No one needs to see how Momo had completely fell apart.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>After that everything became a blur.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo has never been particularly religious, preferring to sleep in late rather than head down to church. But now she finds herself praying to whatever God is listening.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Not Sana </em>She thinks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Not her. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Please, not her.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon leads Momo to the morgue and stands back as the younger woman walks unsteadily towards the prone figure operation table, hands shaking as she slowly pulls down the white sheet only to let out a strangled sound when she recognizes the familiar face of the one who she loves most.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo drops on her knees and Nayeon looks away, jaw clenched.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She gently shakes Sana, as if trying to rouse her. “Satang? Hey Satang, I’m sorry I was late but I’m here now baby, it’s time to go home.” She pokes Sana’s cheeks weakly “C’mon baby, today is the finale of that drama you’ve been watching. Didn’t you want to know if Aerin ends up with Yena or Jiyoung?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana doesn’t respond and something shifts in Momo’s heart, stabbing deeper and deeper and she feels the colours in her vision slowly dripping out, with every blink the world looks a little duller and duller until she sees nothing but grey.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her heart pulses faintly, as if asking a question.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo shakes Sana harder, shifting the sheets lower and she chokes when she sees the bullet wounds decorating her wife’s body. Sana’s face looks so peaceful, lips slightly parted as if she was dreaming of something nice while her body looked like she had been torn apart and stitched back together carelessly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her eyes betray her as they travel down the expanse of her body, taking in the permanent ink dotting across her torso, marking out the lethal shots while a large gash cuts deep under her navel.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A caesarean section.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The baby.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her head swirls with nausea as she struggles to stay upright.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What have they done to you?” She whispers, a white mist fogging in front of her from how cold the room was, and she instinctively pulled the sheet a little higher, wrapping it around Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana can’t stand the cold after all.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Satang please, I can’t do this without you…I need you; the baby needs you!”</em> She pleas.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo trails her eyes down the exposed skin and notices the bloody scratch marks on her elbows, most likely made from shifting backwards on the ground as she tried getting away from whoever did this to her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She squeezes her eyes shut as she thought of Sana who had laid on the ground, all alone and cold and hurting while she had been on the other side of the city, chasing down someone who couldn’t even give her any new information on her case. He was just a grunt who knows nothing of the gang’s plans nor who had instructed him to recruit the women.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had wanted to be one step closer to completing her objective, confidently she would be able to put an end to the illegal activities.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> Instead, her heart had been ripped out of her chest and crushed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her forever was gone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo claws at her chest, digging her nails in deep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It hurts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. Sana. Sana.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She should have been there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She should have protected Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sana, wake up.” Momo demands softly, sniffling. “Are you mad at me? I’m sorry okay? I promise I’ll stop leaving my socks around the apartment. I promise I’ll eat more vegetables, even the cucumbers, I really like that acai bowl you made last week.” She pulls Sana’s body closer to her chest, shaking hard as she rocks her wife back and forth. “Your tarts are gonna get cold soon,” Her lips wobble.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll get Chou Tzuyu’s signature for y-you! You said there’s no way you’re dying without attending one of her fan meetings right?” She rubs her nose against Sana’s lovingly, in an eskimo kiss, her tears dripping down on Sana’s face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana feels so cold in her arms and she looks so frail, as if the slightest gust of wind could crumble her and Momo holds her against her chest tightly, trying to warm her wife up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>You promised me, forever right?” </em>She whispers into Sana’s hair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She buries her face into Sana’s neck, breathing deeply, trying to inhale the familiar scent of Sana in hopes of soothing this ache that settles deep in her bones but only getting the suffocating stench of medical balms and the staleness of air.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. Sana. Sana.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon puts out an arm to prevent the mortician from interfering and he nods respectfully before stepping back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“S-Sana, c’mon <em>please</em>-” a sob wrecked out of Momo’s chest as she dips her head down, pressing her lips against Sana’s temples as she grips her tighter. She pulls Sana’s left hand and presses it above her heart “Don’t d-do this,” She places soft butterfly kisses on her fingertips, just the way Sana likes it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana’s nails had been chipped and stained with dirt, that means she had been clawing at the ground, hoping that the pain would stop and this new knowledge crushes Momo further to the point where she feels her heart constrict and it hurts to breathe.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She feels like she’s drowning.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Sana-!” </em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon digs heels of her palms into her eyes, trying to muffle her cries.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had to be pried away from Sana’s corpse as she was sent for cremation as Momo tried desperately to hold on and Nayeon swears she will never be able to forget the haunting wail Momo had let out as she saw Sana being carried away from her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When she realized that Sana was never coming back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo <em>never</em> forgives herself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Japanese stared blankly at row number two, barely registering the pink blanket that wraps around her daughter. She leans slightly forward, placing a palm on the glass panel separating her and her last link to Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She’s here.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She’s finally here.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The baby that the two of them had so desperately wanted.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This was what Momo had been wishing for.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Except, her wife is gone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>For the first time in a long while, she’s alone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She’s <em>alone</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>How can she live on without Sana?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon hands a clipboard over to Momo, pointing to the blank part of the form “Her name Momo, what is her name?” She murmurs gently. Momo holds onto the pen tightly as she writes, hands trembling and messing up the characters, pressing the tip of the pen onto the sheet so hard that it tears as she scribbles almost illegibly “<em>Hirai</em> <em>Tzuyu</em>” before chunking the board back at Nayeon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She grips onto her head tightly, yanking at her hair as she slides down the wall and she curls up, sobbing, body heaving with effort and Nayeon tries to huddle around her, holding her and glaring at nosy nurses.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo stands somberly behind the Minatozakis as they fawn over the baby. They arrived as quickly as they could, bringing baskets filled with goodies and homemade soup to aid in birth recovery.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Makoto gave a hearty smack to Momo, reminiscing about the time he saw Sana for the first time too.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon doesn’t know how to break the news to them, not when they’re cooing over little Tzuyu and remarking how she looks like both her mothers’ before questioning which room Sana was resting in, wishing to pass on their congratulations.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Momo-chan look, Tzuyu has your nose! How cute!”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mrs Minatozaki, Saki beams at the baby cradled in her arms, softly caressing her cheeks while Makoto busied himself with snapping pictures, cooing for Tzuyu to turn her head towards him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon doesn’t feel strong enough for this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo hangs her head low, refusing the little bundle that Saki offered her and Nayeon clears her throat softly, hands wringing in her lap.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She will <em>never </em>forget the look on their faces.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The funeral had been eventful.</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon just felt numbed by everything as she held Momo in her arms while she cried and screamed all night. She even had to handcuff the Japanese as she tried to lunge for a gun, wishing to join Sana wherever she is.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Mintozakis had been grieving at the main area, asking “<em>Why Sana? Why their baby?” </em>had been so cruelly taken away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had latched onto Nayeon’s leg, begging her desperately to just kill her, to please do her this <em>one </em>favour.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To <em>please please please</em> let her be with Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She was the one who helped put together the funeral when Momo was busy holed up in a separate room, refusing to eat or look at the baby for fear that she’ll break apart all over again. It was hard for Nayeon to sit with her back pressed into the door, hearing the muffled screams and sobs of a heartbroken woman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Momo? Are you okay? Please answer me, I’m worried about you…”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The only reply she gets are broken howls of pure anguish that only pushes a new wave of tears over Nayeon. She briefly hears the sound of Momo’s fist pounding on the ground as she begs for Sana to come back, matching the beat of her breaking heart perfectly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>There was a time where Nayeon had to forcefully kick open her bedroom door after days of inactivity only to see her sitting on the ledge of the window, trying to toss herself off.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon had dragged Momo kicking and screaming back to the living room, shaking her roughly “Snap out of it!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was only by delivering a hard slap to the cheek that Momo had stopped struggling, falling limp in the older woman’s arms from fatigue. Nayeon looked around frantically after noticing the empty crib, not seeing any signs of Tzuyu and she grabbed Momo by her collar “Where’s the baby Momo? Where is she!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo’s eyelids fluttered open and she slurred “W-With my…sister.” Before slipping back into unconsciousness. Exhausted after crying her eyes out to the point where she can’t see clearly nor open her eyes fully.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon looks around the apartment and gags slightly when she smells the stench of days’ old food that were rotting slightly and numerous empty beer bottles. The only thing that seemed fresh were the baby formula and clean bottles for Tzuyu laid neatly in one corner.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She looks back down at Momo and clicks her tongue when she notices her eyebags and lines on her face. Momo seems to have aged years which she knows isn’t physically possible but Momo moves around as if she’s lugging an invisible weight, burden by her memories of her wife.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon heaves Momo towards the bathroom, turning on the tap to fill the bathtub with warm water before slowly stripping Momo out of her wrinkly clothes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“C’mon Momo, time for a bath.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo delicately places down the baby carrier on the ground and proceeds to throw herself into a grovelling position, surprising a grief-stricken Saki.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had flung herself on her knees, head pressed against the marbled floor as she grovels. Makoto tries to pull her up but Momo refuses, remaining at her hunched over position.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>I’m sorry</em>” was mumbled onto the floor as she raises her head slightly before slamming it down with force, bashing it “<em>I’m sorry</em>” she repeats the motion, asking for forgiveness. Only stopping when Tzuyu cried slightly but she remains kneeled on the ground, head pressed hard to the floor and she feels something trickling down her forehead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>I can’t-” </em>Momo bows her head low “<em>I can’t take care of her, not when I couldn’t even protect Sana” </em>She forms her hands into fists, bringing it down hard “<em>I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry”</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Makoto slides a cup of tea in front of her, gently approaching her like how one would approach a wounded animal, afraid of being lashed out at “<em>It’s okay Momo-chan, we know it’s not your fault” </em>Though he sounded resigned, his voice was gentle with a hint of pain weaved into his words. Makoto pushes his glasses up the slope of his nose and wrings his hand, at a loss of what to do to comfort the devasted woman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo’s eyes mist over, head remaining bowed as she can’t find it in her to look at Makoto’s heartbroken features.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He was wrong, it <em>is </em>her fault.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If only if she had been the one to go after the hooded guy instead of Wonho.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If only she had been faster, Sana could have been saved.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If only she didn’t ask for tarts, if only she went home earlier.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If only she didn’t insist on transferring to Japan, Sana would still be alive.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She’ll still be able to hold Sana in her arms as they go to bed, be able to wake up to Sana’s smile and groan when Tzuyu cries for attention from her crib, unwilling to untangle herself from Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>If only.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This is all her fault.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She stares down at the piping hot cup of tea in front of her and looks at her own reflection, not recognizing the woman she’s seeing. Her lips flatten when she catches a whiff <em>This is Sana’s favourite tea brand </em>and her lungs constrict, a pathetic whine slipping out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Saki, scoops Tzuyu out of her carrier, trembling like a leaf as her hands travels across the baby’s features, caressing her cheeks and her wispy black hair. She presses a watery kiss onto the baby’s forehead, breathing in the scent of baby powder as she rocks the baby slightly in her arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Can I leave her in your care?” </em>Momo looks up pleadingly “<em>She needs someone who can give her everything and I-” </em>She hiccups and wipes her nose on her sleeves “<em>I’m not that person.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Makoto’s eyes soften and he looks down at the little baby nestled in his wife’s arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo looked like she hasn’t slept in weeks, gaunt cheek bones and one second away from collapsing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A fresh wave of tears rolls over Saki as the baby in her arms fusses and carefully pushes the baby back into Momo’s arms, gripping her shoulders tightly and gives an imploring look to her daughter in law.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Please…take good care of her and yourself Momo-chan” </em>She rubs against Momo’s cheeks and swipes away the tears streaking down “<em>It hurts to see you like this.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo tries to reject the baby but Makoto holds her firmly, shaking his head gravely. <em>“You’re her mother, she needs</em> you<em>. Not us.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu yawns widely and snuggles against Momo, feeling safe in her mother’s arms and if you listen carefully, you can hear the sound of Momo’s heart shattering all over again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With wobbly arms, she brings the baby up towards her and rubs her nose softly against her daughter’s and Tzuyu’s nose scrunches at the ticklish feeling. Her eyelids flutter as she opens her eyes slightly, honey brown eyes unfocused as Tzuyu squints at the blurry figure holding her. She makes a small sound of confusion and reaches out, pawing at Momo’s shirt.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…H-Hi…” Momo whispers, afraid to startle the little one in her arms but Tzuyu just gives a small quirk of her lips, resembling a faint smile as she dozes off to her mother’s soothing voice, recognizing it from the days Momo to talk to her while she was still in the womb, her fist wrapped snuggly against Momo’s pinky.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Saki sits right next to Momo and pulls her into a hug, Momo tilting her head and breathes in the soft scent of laundry detergent, similar to Sana’s.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Its okay Momo-chan, it’s okay” </em>She rubs circles on Momo’s back and the younger woman feels like she is breaking down again, seeking comfort in Saki’s arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I can’t, I-I, what if she gets hurt? I’ll never forgive myself-” </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>“You won’t” </em>Saki corrects Momo, pulling back to look her in the eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“You’ll raise her right, the way Sa-chan would want you to.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>Momo wants to ask <em>How do you know? How do you know I won’t mess up? How do you know I won’t be a failure?</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>But she doesn’t, lured into a sense of security and assurance by Saki’s matter-of-fact voice and she holds Tzuyu a little closer to her chest, the baby whining softly at the tightness, not liking the fabric of Momo’s shirt.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The only time Momo showed any signs of life was when the baby started crying. Otherwise she would remain motionless on the bed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had been forcibly placed under house arrest by the chief, an order for her to recuperate and focus on her newborn but the Japanese won’t hear of it. She gnashes her teeth as she tried reaching for her gun, attempting to strap it on as she heads out to the city.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“He is still out there! The one who did this!” She had railed, cursing and spitting on her fellow squad members as they tried subduing her. “If you won’t get him then I will!” She even managed to claw Nayeon across the face, leaving three angry scratch marks, one of which bleeds slightly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Let me go!” She struggles against their grips “Let go you bastard!” Momo lands a kick onto one of her juniors, Felix, getting the wind knocked out of him as he falls backwards from the impact, coughing harshly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Momo please! Please stop, Tzuyu needs you!” Nayeon grabs onto Momo’s face pleadingly, staring deep into Momo’s crazed eyes as she trashes about.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon slaps Momo, shocking her as she stills momentary reeling from the impact. The older woman grabs onto Momo’s collar and yanks her to her feet, shaking her roughly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You have a daughter who is waiting for you at home! I know this hurts Momo, but you have a different priority now! Tzuyu needs you, please Momo. Please.” Her shoulders sags down. “<em>Please</em>.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo just stares at her with a glazed look in her eyes, lips split open from the force of the slap and she swipes her arm over her wound, smearing the blood across her jaw. She then picks herself up and dusts off her uniform before trudging out, kicking over a dustbin and spilling its contents out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Just a month after Momo had been relieved of her duty, a call had been logged onto the station, reporting that the officer had gotten stabbed in an alley way and is requesting for backup.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon found herself running to the location, not waiting for her squad members and she sees Momo slumped over and grimaces when she notices the blood splatter on the wall.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ouch.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She tears open Momo’s shirt and tries to administrate first aid, stemming the blood flow and Momo’s eyes flicker open, a glint of recognition in her dull gaze. She shakily points to the end of the alley “T-That way-” She chokes, spitting out blood and Nayeon hushes her, radioing in and asking the estimated arrival of the ambulance.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo tries again “He…went that w-way” She lifts her finger up with effort, eyes rolling back before passing out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon stood outside the hospital room as the commissioner was interrogating Momo for defying orders and her fist clenches when she hears the muffled shouts and insults flung about.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The door slides open and the commissioner pulled out a handkerchief as he wipes the spit off his face with a blank expression, adjusting his cap before instructing Nayeon to report to him after her visit, not bothering to stay as Nayeon salutes him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shortly after Momo had been hospitalized, he declares that she would hereby be discharged from her duties until she returns back to normal and is able to operate without breaking down every three seconds.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Just hearing the flippant way he spoke of Momo and how causally he brought up the issue of Sana’s death offended Nayeon greatly as she listens to the self-important man prattle on about women and their emotions, even having the audacity to slip in a joke about whether Momo was experiencing shark week.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That joke earns a few strained chuckles as the officers shifts around awkwardly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> She feels the familiar flare of rage slowly build up in her, ripping its way through her body and aching to be let loose as Nayeon bites down hard on her inner cheek.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>God, she wished she could punch the smirk of his face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Until further notice it would fall upon Nayeon to carry on Momo’s workload as well. She had been under strict instruct not to contact the younger woman as it might trigger a relapse. She wrings her hands against her uniform as she forces herself to nod, feeling a surge of bile when she catches a glimpse of Momo being tied down to her bed, restraining her movements as she trashes about.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon places a raccoon plushie just outside her door.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Many a times had Nayeon clicked on Momo’s contact info, holding her phone tightly against her ear and only hearing the dial tone. She has sent thousand of text messages before realizing that Momo had her blocked on every social media account.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Worried at the radio silence, she had dropped by Momo’s place only to see an unfamiliar face bustling about as she coaxes Momo to take her medication while Nayeon hovers awkwardly by the doorway, wondering if she should just leave or badge in shamelessly like she always does.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She decides to be shameless.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She saunters in and dumps her spare keys onto the kitchen counter and watches as the stranger jolts in her seat, fumbling with her bowl to prevent spillage. She glares at Nayeon who brazenly steps into the apartment.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon walks over to where Momo was laying and puts down a lunchbox, jiggling it sideways enticingly. “Hey Momo! Hyo made this for you, its your favourite!” She scratches her nose sheepishly “I helped too! I grated the onions.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo doesn’t even acknowledge her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The stranger cleared her throat “Who are you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon frowns at the blunt question before firing back “Who are <em>you</em>?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I asked first.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I asked second!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The stranger huffs at Nayeon’s childish attitude and pulls off her glasses, massaging her temple and Nayeon ignores her, moving to unwrap the lunchbox when an arm shot out to stop her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Erm, <em>excuse me? </em>What are you doing?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What does it look like I’m doing?” Nayeon gestures to the lunchbox “I’m going to feed her. Look at that lame bowl of porridge you’re giving her, that’s not filling at all!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The stranger seethes silently as Nayeon’s haughty attitude “Under whose authorization are you under?” She demands.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon pauses her actions and gives an unimpressed look to the woman “…I’m her best friend? Under the authorization of BFFs?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The woman snorts and Nayeon feels her hackles rise at the undisguised scorn she hears.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I see. Well then, introductions are in order I suppose.” She doesn’t bother offering a handshake nor would Nayeon accept it anyways “I’m Momo’s doctor.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s been months since she last saw Momo, the doctor suggesting that she stays away for a while so as to not hinder her recovery process and Nayeon had wanted to lash out, “What do you mean <em>hinder </em>her” She had wanted to yell but she couldn’t find the energy in her to do so, not when Momo looked so defeated.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So Nayeon left, threatening the snotty doctor to treat her well or <em>else</em> and to her surprise the other woman loses the steely glint in her eyes, replaced with something warm, something <em>familiar. </em>She turns her gaze back to Momo and agrees gently “I’ll do anything I can for her, I promise.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And that was the last time she saw Momo. Nayeon finds herself looking to the desk right next to hers, feeling a pang of sadness when it remains empty and the Korean decides to buy different packs of chips and decorating Momo’s desk with them in anticipation of her return, hoping the younger woman would love this little surprise.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The desk overflows quickly and she was chewed out by the janitor for littering.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>August 26<sup>th</sup> </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo returns after months.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The younger woman had been giving little smiles at anyone she passes by, offering a selection of pastries she bought to them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon watches gobsmacked at Momo happily made her way through the cubicles, drawing finger guns as a senior officer welcomed her back. Momo smile froze when she notcies Nayeon before she eases up slightly, giving a small nod.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hey Partner, I’m back.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She smiles charmingly as she pulls her chair out and sits down before sliding a macaron over to Nayeon “Red velvet, your favourite!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>About time you rascal, I was bored without you!</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo’s smile drags wider when Nayeon accepts her gift and the older woman notices how Momo’s eyes don’t crinkle up the way they used to, and she comes to a startling realization.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This isn’t her Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>PRESENT</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon feels parched and drags her feet towards her locker, rummaging for a Pocari Sweat when she sees her phone light up and she peeks over and sees that Jihyo had messaged her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Happily, she unlocks her phone, eager to see a new picture of Chaeyoung being cute and frowns when she reads the serious text, mind racing a mile a minute, wondering if someone bullied Chaeyoung.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She quickly clicks on her wife’s contact and walks for her to pick up, sipping on her drink and letting out a refreshing gasp at the cooling sensation. Her favourite girl group, THRICE, was models for the drink company and she gazes appreciatively at their faces plastered on the body, wondering how she should prefer the plastic wrap.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Hello? Nabongs?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon straightens up, capping her bottle back on.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey Hyo, what’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Whew this chapter is the longest so far I think, 16K! I don't know how it went from 2K to that number TT I hope it isn't too tedious or boring for you guys to read through though &gt;&lt; This chapter is not one of my best and I'm sorry for that, still hope y'all would like it :') I introduced a few different POVs and I hope it isn't too confusing either, let me know if it is!</p><p>So here is some Nayeon, some SaMo and a little on Sana's death.</p><p>Thank you so much for the 109 kudos guys it means a lot :D I'm happy to see that y'all enjoy this story as much as I like writing it and I love reading your comments and your thoughts about the chapters make me happy and encouraged as well. So thanks!</p><p>I'm not that good at writing so if there's any point you wish to criticize, do let me know! I'll do my best to improve.</p><p>Angst lovers: It will come, don't worry! I have plans to break your hearts :D</p><p>Fluff lovers: I tried to make this chapter as fluffy as possible, let me know if it worked or I failed TT</p><p>If you want to reach out to me on twitter please use #TwiceMeetAgain</p><p>See you guys next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>“Turn right when you see the white sculpture,” She mumbles under her breath, feet tapping impatiently on the pavement as she waits for the light to turn green.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It should right next to the steakhouse.” Momo reads from the text Mina sent, eyes searching the vicinity and trying to find the spot Mina had instructed her to meet up at. She paces about, accidentally jostling someone beside her, earning a disgruntled stare and she apologizes, shifting a little further away from them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The little green man flashes and Momo strides hurriedly, checking her watch and praying Mina wouldn’t be too mad at her for being slightly late. She tucks the small box of Swedish chocolate that she got for Mina deeper in her pocket, pressing one hand above it to ensure it wouldn’t fall out from her movements.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Where is it?” She mumbles irritated, feeling as if she’s walking in circles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo swears she’s seen this <em>exact</em> bush just a minute ago.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>White sculpture, white sculpture. </em>All Momo sees are billboards plastered with the dazzling smiles of celebrities. Apparently today is some boy group member’s birthday.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Happy birthday.” Momo wishes bemusedly and the billboard flashes, changing into a short trailer for an upcoming drama and Momo’s smile drops momentarily when the beautiful face of Chou Tzuyu pops out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Another drama? It looks good, maybe I shall catch it sometime. </em>Momo feels a slight twinge in chest when she suddenly thinks about all the times Sana would curl up on their couch with a bowl of popcorn, eagerly asking Momo to join her in her movie marathon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzuyu again? I didn’t subscribe to all these channels just to watch her shows only!” She would whine when she sees the synopsis of the drama and Sana would smack her arm, pouting until Momo gives in.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo always finds herself gazing at the enraptured expression on Sana’s face instead of the drama, at the different emotions playing out as her eyebrow twitches in surprise or the way her lips would tug up in a smile at a cute scene. She especially loved the way Sana would snuggled deep into her during a jump scare even if she was scared herself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She would watch Sana forever if she could.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Stop it. </em>She presses the heel of her palm against her temple and knocking against it repeatedly, trying to clear her thoughts as she continues walking. <em>Stop it Momo, you’ve been doing good. Just-wait…where am I?</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>By now Momo is almost one hundred percent sure she is lost.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t recognize any of the buildings and she feels panic gripping her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh God I’m so late!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sees a blonde woman holding a child to her chest by the side of the road and decides to just suck it up and ask for directions. She runs up to the woman and taps her shoulder twice before straightening up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, excuse me! Do you know where-” Momo’s words die in her throat as the woman turns around and smiles gummily. “Hey baby, took you long enough.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo’s thoughts screeches to a halt.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina is blonde.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina is <em>blonde</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo gapes and flounders for something, anything to say.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu reaches out for Momo in Mina’s arms and Momo quickly picks her up and shifts her until she’s comfortably in her hold, still staring at Mina’s newly dyed curls, spilling loosely over her shoulders. The intensity of her stare prompts the younger woman to bow her head slightly, hiding her face behind the curtain of her hair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina self-consciously reaches up and fingers the ends of her tresses “I-Is it bad?” She asks timidly, worried her girlfriend’s silence meant she hated it and she wish she had asked for her opinion before impulsively dyeing it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The confidence she had in her new look dwindles the longer Momo remains silent.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“The hairdresser said it would probably wash out in three to four weeks! So, erm, I can dye it back to black if you prefer…”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo twirls a strand between her fingers, marvelling at the silky feel and walks a little closer, enjoying the contrast of the light blonde and Mina’s flushing cheeks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I like it. It suits you a lot Mitang.” Momo can’t seem to tear her eyes off Mina and the younger woman turns even redder at the attention. She tucks a strand of hair that has fallen onto Mina’s face behind her ears, fingers ghosting along the shell of the younger woman’s ear, pressing her fingertips against her jaw and Mina subconsciously leans into the touch, eyes fluttering close.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Me?” Tzuyu pokes her head up from where Momo had been cradling her and pushes her face into Momo’s, eyes wide with hope for a compliment as well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo gently blows towards Tzuyu’s face, messing up her side swept bangs and grins “My Tzuyu is the <em>cutest</em>!” ruffling up Tzuyu’s bob and her daughter nestles back into her embrace, silent but pleased with her remark as she touches Momo’s bangs before patting her own “Same!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“She told the hairdresser that she had wanted to look like you,” Mina comments laughingly, recounting the moment back to Momo where Tzuyu had requested to sit on Mina’s lap instead of on the booster seat, slightly afraid of the scissors.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The owner or the parlor, a woman in her mid-fifties, guides the duo to an empty row.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina sits down on the seat before carrying Tzuyu up and the toddler had done the same, placing Minjoong on her lap, mirroring Mina’s actions and holding onto her stuffie tightly. She nibbles across Minjoong’s floppy ears when the hairdresser looms close, her overpowering perfume filling the air and Tzuyu pinches her nose.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Good afternoon, I would like a trim for the little one and a colour package for myself.” Mina gently pulls the toy’s ears out of Tzuyu’s mouth, lips twitching faintly in disgust when she sees a trail of saliva before pulling out a sheet of wet wipes and disinfecting it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Got it!” She accepts a tiny salon cape given to her and clips it on Tzuyu securely, making sure Minjoong was under it so as to not dirty him as the hairdresser made small talk in a babyish voice, trying to engage Tzuyu in a conversation “Little girl, what should auntie do for you today? Do you want to look like a princess?” she coos and Tzuyu presses back against Mina, head turned away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina smiles apologetically and the hairdresser waves away her concerns “It’s fine, tons of kids are shy.” She then smiles crookedly at the semi-hidden toddler “C’mon, tell auntie what hair you want today!” She gestures at the bottles of hair dye and sparkly clips on her tray “I can do anything!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu purses her lips adorably, puffing out her chubby cheeks and Mina rubs a finger against it, giggling when her finger bounces off.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…M-Mommy, I want to look like mommy…”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What was that?” The hairdresser leans forward suddenly, not quite catching Tzuyu’s soft spoken words and the little girl shrieks, burrowing into Mina’s coat who rubs the toddler’s back soothingly. She fishes her phone out of her pocket and scrolls through her gallery, settling on one showing Momo in her uniform as she grins charmingly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The other woman lights up with recognition, snapping her fingers at the screen as she exclaims “I know her! Officer Hirai isn’t it? She helped me with my cat once, naughty little rascal escaped from this parlour!” She clicked her tongue loudly and jerks her thumb to the back and that’s when Mina noticed a cat bed with a fluffy cream coloured cat napping in it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu fidgets excitedly when she sees the furball, bouncing energetically on Mina’s lap and the hairdresser grins at the enthusiasm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“She was super polite too! Always greeting me when she passes by now and then,” She thinks a little more “And really pretty as well! She has that innocent vibe to her that is really appealing. Kinda reminds me of my daughter actually. I like to give her some of the dumplings I made, and she always made this expression,” the hairdresser contorts her face into something resembling gratefulness with a touch of exaggeration.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It makes me happy to see her eat so well to be honest, she’s a little on the skinny side don’t you think? Makes me proud that she likes my food!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina smiles to herself, amused that Momo had gotten herself a fangirl as the hairdresser continues to fawn over the officer.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We need more cops like that! Someone who is kind, humble and willing to listen! When I called in to lodge a missing cat report do you know what the admin did? The laughed at me! Why I <em>never</em>-!” She shakes her head in displeasure, curls flying in every direction “But Hirai showed up and helped me with a smile even though it was apparently her half day off! She even crawled into the air vents to look for Whiskers!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She then makes eye contact with Mina through the mirror as she pulls a clip from her apron “Turns out the cat was just napping in the storage room. I don’t know how that rascal got in there in the first place, but it meant a lot to me that Hirai would basically turn the whole mall upside down to locate him.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina couldn’t hold back the smile that has been teasing her lips and she looks at Tzuyu fondly, mind swimming with thoughts of Momo and Mina feels her heart jump “Yeah, Hirai is the best, isn’t she?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older woman snaps a clip over Tzuyu’s bangs, exposing her sticker plastered on her forehead “Damn right!” the older woman replies before smacking a palm over her mouth “Oops! I meant that’s right.” She tries correcting herself but Tzuyu had been busy admiring her reflection, turning her head this way and that, pleased with the way her clips shone in the light.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She looks Mina remorsefully, but the younger woman shakes her head dismissively “It’s okay, I think she didn’t notice.” Mina bounces her leg and Tzuyu jerks up, looking curiously at Mina.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Did you hear anything just now, baby?” Tzuyu doesn’t reply, touching her clips again before looking at the others clipped onto the hairdresser’s apron who pulls one out for the toddler to play with. Tzuyu quickly gathers Minjoong’s ears in a hand before clipping them together, smiling when Minjoong looked like her current hair style.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You wanna be an officer when you grow up?” The hairdresser continues as she fingers Tzuyu’s bangs, estimating how much to cut off and Tzuyu blanks out, not understanding what officer meant. The older woman moves to peel the sticker off when Tzuyu slinks back, hands covering the sticker protectively.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina motions the hairdresser to just let the toddler be and Tzuyu relaxes with a sigh when the older woman moves away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Officer, Tzuyu, it’s what your mommy does as a job.” Mina whispers into Tzuyu’s ears and Tzuyu shakes her head “No…wanna be a puppy.” She pats Minjoong affectionately “Not, not off-fi-sir.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“How cute!” The older woman squeals and she moves to pinch Tzuyu’s cheeks which the toddler swiftly avoids, pulling Mina’s coat across her face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, she’s really shy and not really good with strangers.” Mina explains and the hairdresser couldn’t quite hide her disappointment.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ah…I see. That’s just too bad.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She carefully snipped Tzuyu’s hair before gathering a bunch from the back and clipping it up, making her look like one of the troll dolls the toddler had gotten from her happy meal.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina looks down fondly at Tzuyu who is doing her best to sit still and not flinch when the scissors come a little too close to her face for her liking. She holds one of Tzuyu’s tiny hand in hers and the toddler grips her back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“The more I look at you the cuter you become!” The hairdresser softly nudges Tzuyu with her comb and the toddler scrunches her nose, mildly annoyed and Mina rubs a thumb gently across her thigh.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu looks up cross-eyed as she tries to follow the path of the scissors and she gasps loudly when her hair starts drifting down. She shot out her pudgy hands and collects the stray strands and her lips wobble, trying to attach them back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzuyu, no.” Mina holds onto the toddler’s hands firmly when she starts to fuss, dodging the hairdresser. “It’ll grow back baby.” Mina assures and Tzuyu looks at her disbelievingly, reluctantly letting go of her hair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The hairdresser twists the bottom of Tzuyu’s bob and uses the hair dryer on it, causing the ends to curl up cutely.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“There all done! What do you think?” Tzuyu looks herself in the mirror, turning her head this way and that, giggling when the hair bounces slightly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina sets Tzuyu down, patting the toddler’s butt nudgingly towards the slumbering cat “Go on, play with the kitty. It’s mama’s turn now.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu looks at Mina uncertainly and the hairdresser throws an arm out “Whiskers is a gentle cat! He won’t scratch you.” She leads the toddler towards the pet and Mina flips through the hair styling album the older woman had handed her, trying to choose a colour.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She fingers her hair, carefully thinking through how the different colour schemes would look on her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hmm…I’ve done red and ginger before, not really memorable.” She chews her bottom lip in thought, flipping the page over to one displaying a trendy celebrity beaming with lush brunette hair styled to look like a bedhead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I liked brown a lot, but I’ve already done that so many times. Maybe its time for something new?” She mumbles to herself, tapping her fingers against the different celebrities before stopping on one.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She hums thoughtfully, a little worried it might not look good on her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, that style?” The hairdresser pops up suddenly and Mina jumps in her seat, startled.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older woman laughs heartily and clamps a hand on Mina’s shoulder cheerfully “Sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you,” She leans in and points to the style Mina had been drawn to “This is pretty popular among youngsters these days.” She then turns an appraising gaze on Mina, scanning her head to toe and Mina averts her gaze awkwardly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I think you have the face for it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina flushes at the compliment, hiding her face behind the book as the hairdresser starts gathering the appropriate dyes and mixing them together.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Children are cute, aren’t they?” The hairdresser chirps, applying the dye on Mina’s hair, messaging her scalp and Mina sighs blissfully before cracking an eye open and seeing Tzuyu attempting to approach Whiskers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, yes they are.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu squats before the cat bed, moving Minjoong across the floor and sneaking him into the bed, disturbing Whiskers’ nap. The fluffy cat rolls over and touches Tzuyu with his paws, showing his belly and the toddler hesitatingly touches it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…second?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry?” Mina frowns confusedly at the older woman and she repeats her question “I said, any plans on a second? Your daughter is growing up, so it’ll do her good to have a playmate! You should work on having a second child since once this one goes to school,” she points at Tzuyu who is attempting to meow at the disinterested cat “You’ll miss the sound of little feet in your house I guarantee you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She walks towards her tray to retrieve a small bowl of dye, dabbing it across Mina’s scalp and ensuring it blends in smoothly and Mina whines softly under her breath at the cold sensation “Kids are a lot of work so you should have them while you’re young!” She winks indiscreetly “I’m sure your husband won’t mind!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina replies automatically “Girlfriend.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Huh?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t have a husband.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh. Well, science sure is great huh? You got such a cute little one, surely another isn’t out of the question?” The older woman doesn’t miss a beat, lathering the bottom layer of Mina’s hair with dye.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina glances at the mirror and Tzuyu is trying to climb into the cat bed and cuddle with the cat who just looks defeated, letting the toddler mess around with him. A fond smile blossoms on her face at the pure happiness shining on Tzuyu’s.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“C’mon you’re so pretty! Another daughter will be great! If it's a boy then I'm sure he'll be very handsome.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina couldn’t help how her mind wandered off, thinking about being married, having a last name that she truly likes, thinks about baby that will be hers and Momo’s. She pictures how Momo would look as she holds their child. She imagines having something that was hers, someone who would love her without having to be asked.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She entertains the thought of Tzuyu being an older sister, the toddler going to school with a sibling, the two of them growing up together happily side by side.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Truthfully, she never really thought about having kids, worried that she would treat them how her parents have treated her. Worried that she would fail her hypothetical children with how screwed up she is. She never really liked her brother, Kai, who used to lock her in dark storerooms just to see her cry.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Neither did she like any of her cousins due to how they who ostracize her, shoving her when the adults weren’t looking during family get-togethers when all Mina had wanted was to join in with them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her parents were of no help either, often chastising her for being a cry-baby or a recluse so she learnt to keep things to herself, not wishing to trouble anyone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina had always wondered why her family seems so different to those she sees on TV. The characters would always hug and kiss their children, praising them and saying “I love you” daily. Mina hugs her tiny dachshund, Ray, as she moved closer to the screen, eyes glued to the domestic scene.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ray-chan, do you think mother would like a hug?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ray gives little licks all over Mina’s face and she giggles at the wetness.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll take that as a yes.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had approached her mother who was sipping a cup out tea, pinky stuck out elegantly as she flipped through reports. Reina glances down her nose at the small figure of Mina fidgeting restlessly with her pup sitting obediently beside her. Her eyes swept through her daughter, mentally marking down any flaws she notices.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Her bow is crooked.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Maybe it’s time to get braces for her.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, Mina?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina bounces lightly on her toes, playing with her fingers and Reina frowns at the undignified action and opens her mouth to berate her daughter when a shy smile broke through the youngest Myoui’s face with an “I-I love you” and she rushes towards her mother, aiming for a hug when Reina instinctively threw her arm up and pushed her back roughly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina fell on her butt, staring up at the displeased frown on her mother’s face and Ray hurries over, anxiously nosing around his owner.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mother…?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Reina sweeps her hair back in place, placing her cup down silently “What were you doing?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I was trying to hug-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why.” The way her mother had worded her question came across as an accusation and Mina felt as if she was standing trial.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Because I love you?” Mina winces internally at the uncertain way she had answered, knowing her mother hated unsure answers and the downward tug of her mother’s lips proved her assumption correct.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Love is frivolous, purely sentimental with no intrinsic value.” Reina taps her fingers on the table with each word and Mina feels it echo deep inside her, imprinting her words onto her soul “It clouds judgement and leaves one as a halfwit.” She crosses her legs and Mina swallows hard “Love is for the foolish and we,” She looks squarely at her daughter, ensuring she has her full attention “are <em>not </em>fools.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Am I clear?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina looks down at the ground, twisting the ends of her dress in her fists “…Yes mother.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Reina waves Mina away “Good, your piano tutor is coming so get ready.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With that, her mother went back to ignoring her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ray’s wet nose touches Mina’s fingers, tethering her and she silently walks out, carefully closing the door.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That was the last time Mina tried displaying any sort of affection towards her family.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t as if she was never given <em>any</em> love. Her mother always came to her ballet shows but only if she was cast as the lead. If not, then Mina would be treated as if she didn’t exist. She normally hates being in the spotlight, detest the feeling of eyes staring at her every movement but she learnt to endure if only because it meant her parents would be there watching her too. That her parents would finally be looking <em>at </em>her and not at their expectations.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her father would attend her award ceremonies for school, taking a picture to send to their relatives and that was it. Not even a gruff “Well done.” It had simply been expected that Mina would excel and there were no room for errors. She once had a mark taken off for her misuse of punctuation back in elementary school and the look in her father’s eyes when he looked through her answer struck her to the core.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She never makes the same mistake again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Mina wishes someone would tell her “Good job Mina, you worked hard.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had pretty much been ignored in favour of her brother until she came of age where suddenly all her parents would talk about were potential matches with men they had painstakingly chosen. The Myouis had plans for their youngest, plans that Mina didn’t want.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina always knew what was expected of her, to study in a field specifically chosen by her parents, to always graduated at the top of her cohort no matter what school she is in, to work under her father and further the Myoui prestige and last but not least, to marry a man of her parents’ choosing, someone to boost their reputations beyond what it already is.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had always known and had accepted it as her duty as the only daughter. She would grit her teeth through all the nights spent hunched over books as her head swims, pushing herself to the limit working on different projects from schoolwork to her music, participating in competitions all over the world. She would simply tape medical wraps over her arms and shoulders as they shook and ached, forcing herself to press down on the violin strings or the piano keys.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even when her toes bled from dancing too much, she pushes on, pouring her soul into her movements. Hoping her mother can be proud of her daughter. The thought of her parents smiling at her is what fuels Mina through the pain and exhaustion.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She would exceed every expectation anyone has of her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She <em>must</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>However, Mina finds that she could do all but one of her duties.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was something that no matter how hard she tried; she could not overcome. Something she just couldn’t force herself to do without feeling bile rising in her throat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Something she discovered about herself (and be in deep denial about) during the summer of seventh grade when she had been invited to a family friend’s party for girls her age. Mina would become hyper-aware of herself, desperate not to slip up and give herself away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had never meant to reveal her orientation, preferring to just keep it under wraps. But she simply could not handle the thought of another date with yet another boy without feeling goosebumps breaking over her skin. Coming out to her parents was the most nerve-wrecking thing she had every done, fully prepared to be disowned.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her parents might have had their suspicions with how disinterested Mina had been in boys or how shy she acted around one of her female bodyguards. Or perhaps they simply did not care the slightest.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As her throat started tightening up, Mina spat the words at the tip of her tongue before she loses her nerves, uncaring of etiquette for once “I…I like women. I’m sorry but I can’t marry whoever you’re choosing.” Myoui Akira and Reina didn’t bat an eye, staring impassively at their daughter before continuing to schedule blind dates after blind dates with eligible bachelors, discussing the men’s merits.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Girls these days are just confused, you’ll grow out of it soon.” Her mother uttered coldly and the hope that Mina felt, that perhaps her parents would accept her, were dashed. Ray whines softly when Mina droops down.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“M-Mother, this isn’t a phase! I-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Enough.” Mina shuts her mouth with a click as her father stares her down “You will be meeting Takashi next Wednesday. His grandfather owns one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies in Japan so make sure you create a good impression. I cancelled your flower arrangement class, so you’ll be free that day.” And Mina was dismissed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The youngest Myoui gathers Ray in her arms, burying her face in his fur before excusing herself. Her tears make track marks down in Ray’s coat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had thought that this would be her life, sitting through horribly awkward dates with disgusting men who wouldn’t stop leering at her to listen to what she’s saying. She bites her tongue, holding back heated words whenever her date would try and lower his hands down her waist, would watch blankly as they would plant a kiss goodbye on her hand before she would scrub her skin raw to erase their touch frantically during her bath.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina had resigned herself, bracing for a loveless marriage just to satisfy her parents. All she had wanted was to be accepted for who she was and to be loved. <em>At least Ray loves her</em> she would think sadly at the pup cuddled on her lap, snoozing away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But it seems as though no matter what she did, it was never enough for her parents and by extension, Mina was <em>never</em> enough.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everywhere she went, all people saw was her last name. Wishing to escape the suffocating grip her family had on her, Mina accepted a job posting all the way in Korea even though she knows barely three phrases of the language from her drama binges.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her father had initially opposed the transfer, wanting his daughter to work under him and it would be considerably harder to arrange matches when she’s an ocean away but caved when he saw which hospital she would be assigned to as well as who his daughter would be working under.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina was granted permission to do as she pleases under the condition that she maintained ranking first throughout her evaluations and prove herself, to establish their family name in Korea. Anything less than perfect meant she would be on the first plane back to Japan.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You can learn a thing or two from Kim Taeyeon,” Akira scrolls through his feed, raising a brow in acknowledgement when he notes the different accomplishments the young director had achieved.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The youngest Myoui had eagerly agreed, willingly to do anything just to get out of Japan where her family can’t touch her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So, she packed, throwing wherever it is that she valued into her luggage when her mother stepped into her room, heels clicking intimidatingly. She had hoped for her mother to bring her into a hug, no matter how brief, to just wish her daughter well or to say how she’ll miss her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She stuffs her hands into her pockets anxiously as her mother walked towards her. But instead all she got was a finger lifting her chin up, correcting her posture and a “Do not disappoint us Mina”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina went to the airport with a heavy heart, muddled with unsaid words. She uplifted herself by promising that Korea will be different, that she would find someone who likes her for who she is. As she looks out the window and sees Japan becoming smaller and smaller in the distance, she feels the tension slowly ebbing away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She dreamt about making friends, exciting herself at thoughts of having lunch together or visiting the arcade filled her mind. Simplistic things that she never had the opportunity to indulge in before.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She felt that <em>finally </em>she could be who she is without fear of backlash, without the weight of her family hanging above her head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina had taken her first step into the hospital enthusiastically, forcing herself to be more lively and friendly, hoping to connect with the other interns. But all her efforts were for naught. Mina had been shunned almost comically. When it came to creating teams, the Japanese had always been the last one to be chosen.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, its probably because my Korean isn’t that good.” Mina reasoned with herself, plastering an unsteady smile on her face as she greeted a senior doctor who brushed past her nonchalantly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Three months had passed, and Mina was nowhere near her goal of having at least one friend.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had chosen to have her lunch in her cubicle rather than in the cafeteria since she doesn’t have anyone to sit with nor were they receptive to her attempts at making small talk.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Japanese had been puzzling over the frosty reception that she received, meticulously going through all her interactions with the staff, hoping to find out where she messed up since she was aware that she was extremely socially awkward when she stumbled upon a group of nurses gossiping by the water dispenser. Mina awkwardly wiggled her way into the pantry and slid her lunchbox in the microwave, hitting the button to start it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…New girl?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Japanese.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina perks up slightly, angling her body so she could hear better to sate her curiosity.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>There’s another Japanese?  </em>She thought cheerfully, happy that there was someone she could connect with.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Her name is Myoui I think.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Her father is a big shot director in some fancy hospital, isn’t he? I heard he gave a talk here once.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Eh? So, she’s rich? I can tell from the way she holds herself, full of pretentiousness.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wonder why she’s working…she can probably live in luxury for the rest of her life without a job unlike us.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina feels her heart sinking, suddenly aware that she was the topic of discussion. She locks her eyes at her rotating lunchbox.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Thirty seconds left…come on, come on! </em>She glances at the timer anxiously.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Get this, I heard the previous director and her father were buddies in college!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ah, no wonder she got in here. I was wondering how someone with her language skills could gain admission to this place seeing as how many Koreans are fighting for just an interview opportunity.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“How else? She’s probably used to using daddy’s name to do whatever she wants!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“With a face like that, it’ll be hard for men to say no anyways.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey…how many guys do you think she seduced?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Probably all of them. Did you see the way Mr Park had been ogling over her? He practically has heart eyes!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The nurses laugh hysterically, and Mina has never felt so humiliated.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Your food is now-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>Mina yanks the microwave open forcefully, slamming the door onto a tower of instant noodles and the sound startles the gossipmongers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What the hell?!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina pulls out her box and pushes her way out, face held low and the burn of her lunch distracts her from her all-consuming desire to hide away and never come out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Turns out the rumour that she had only been offered the post because of her last name, because of who her father was and not due to her own achievements had been spreading like wildfire throughout the different departments before Mina had even landed in Korea.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It had been circulating among her peers that Mina had cheated her way through acceptance, using her connections and looks and that earned her the undeserved ire from her colleagues. Everyone had gotten to this job by working hard throughout their lives, often sacrificing leisure and family time and it infuriated them that someone had basically just flashed a pretty smile and gained admission.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It doesn’t matter how hard Mina had worked during her shifts. It doesn’t matter how hard Mina tried to be helpful and friendly, the others taking her offered tips the wrong way, mistaking it for arrogance.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Once again, Mina had been alone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It felt like Japan all over again except worse since she can’t hide behind her family.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had typed out her resignation letter many times, staring it at as her mouse inches towards the <em>send </em>button before she deletes it. Partly out of cowardness and partly out of spite. She can already see the smirk on her mother’s face, the <em>“I told you so” </em>as she returns home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s fine, she’s used to being alone anyways. This is no different than being back home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina starts operating on autopilot.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wake up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shower.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Breakfast.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Work.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dinner.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Work.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shower.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Work.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Rinse and repeat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That had been her life.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That was until she met Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older woman was sweet and gentle, who makes her laugh without doing much, filling Mina with more joy and hope than she’s ever felt in her life.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo who didn’t have a clue who her family was, just happy that Mina would share her switch with her, whining when Mina beat her <em>again </em>at Mario Kart.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo who always makes sure she joins Mina for lunch ever since she regains the usage of her legs, hobbling over to the younger woman and for once, Mina had someone to sit with. Someone that was <em>hers</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo who introduced her to avocado, causing the younger woman to enjoy it even though it was really mushy. She also had her very first home-cooked meal from Momo, just a regular chicken katsu don and Mina swears it taste divine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her chef back home always used ingredients sourced from overseas and were of the highest calibre. Yet it seems to pale in comparison to Momo’s humble little dish. When asked what her secret ingredient was, Momo had winked, shooting finger hearts and said “Love!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Back then Mina had softly pushed Momo’s shoulder at the teasing reply but now? Now Mina thinks Momo was telling the truth. It would certainly explain the way her heart warms up when she looks at Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>At the start Mina had hoped to have at least three friends but somehow, Momo was enough. Was <em>more</em> than enough.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She was more than what Mina could have ever imagined.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo who loves her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina had always been rather unsure of herself, always second guessing and hesitating. But with Momo by her side, she honestly feels as if she can do anything. She hopes that Tzuyu was happy with how she was taking care of her, hopes Tzuyu would grow up in a house full of love, something that Mina had wished for herself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A child, Momo’s baby.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She finds herself growing more attached to the idea.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Theirs.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina smiles shyly, feeling heat creeping onto her cheeks and the older woman beams at the sweet look that crosses the Japanese’s face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older woman reaches up and pulls down the hair steamer, settling it over Mina’s head when Tzuyu toddles back to her, all smiley from petting the fluffy cat and trying to scramble back onto her lap. Mina pats her thighs and gently pulls Tzuyu up and she settles in quickly, curled up nicely and already slowly dozing off, tired from the day’s excitement.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Get some rest Tzuyu, we’ll meet your mommy later.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu mumbles incoherently, cuddling closer to Mina who pats the toddler’s back rhythmically, lulling her deeper into sleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Is that true Tzuyu?” Momo noses against Tzuyu cheekily “You wanted to look like me?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu doesn’t say anything, choosing to smile cutely and Momo brings her in close and squishes her cheeks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m your favourite, aren’t I?” Mina huffs in faux annoyance and Momo dips Tzuyu low before bringing her back up quickly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh? What’s this?” Momo pushes Tzuyu’s fringe up and pokes at the sticker.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The toddler brightens up immediately, squirming around in her mommy’s embrace “Chaengie gave it!” She touches the sticker reverently “She…she said I’m Bwead!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo blinks “Huh?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Bread…?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina gentle rubs Tzuyu’s head, pushing her hair back in place “Tzuyu made a friend today, isn’t that right baby?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The toddler grins shyly and nods.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“My baby made a friend today?” Momo blows kisses onto her daughter’s cheeks and she squeals. “That's amazing!” Momo praises endlessly as she gently tosses Tzuyu up in the air.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana ambles from where she had been following Momo, hands stretching out as if she wanted to touch the older woman’s shoulder but draws back ultimately, clenching her hands. She stares yearningly after Momo’s retreating figure and she feels the crushing sense of dejection creeping over her, wrapping her in a shroud and weighing her down as her heart plummets to her feet.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sees how Momo gently tosses Tzuyu into the air, the toddler squealing with delight as she asks “Again! Again!” and Mina gently chides Momo, holding the older woman’s arm firmly against herself as she hides her face into Momo’s neck, laughing along when Tzuyu tosses Minjoong up in the air as well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ah…that seems fun.” She scuffs her shoe against the gravel road, pouting when her feet went through a pebble.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She looks up again and sees that Momo has placed Tzuyu on the ground, holding one of the toddler’s hand tightly while Mina holds on to the other, the plushie stuffed inside Mina’s purse, head sticking out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“One, two, three!” The adults swung up their arms and Tzuyu soars up and she kicks her feet out with glee, the biggest smile stretching across her face and Sana feels the bitter tang of jealousy coating her mouth. She wishes she was the one making her baby smile so widely.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina smiles over Tzuyu, eyes holding an unmeasurable amount of affection and Momo smiles right back, features looking lighter as she relaxes with her family.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo’s family.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That doesn’t include Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana stops walking.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo doesn’t notice.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She twists her wedding band around her finger, fiddling with it restlessly. Her wife and daughter, having the time of their lives with some other woman. Sana bites her lip and smacks a hand against her head, cursing herself for thinking that way. “Stop it. Mina isn’t just some woman…she’s Tzu-Tzu’s-” She breathes out raggedly “She’s Tzu-Tzu’s Mama. Not me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Right after she said it, Sana feels dread crawling under her like an itch she can’t seem to get rid of.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She hadn’t wanted to face reality, but she can’t evade it any longer. She may linger around as long as she likes around Momo, but it won’t change the fact that Momo has moved on, has left Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana feels the tell-tale sign of oncoming tears burning behind her eyes, and she blinks ferociously, fisting her cardigan tightly, almost tearing the fabric. Her wedding ring gleams mockingly, reminding her of all that she has lost.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana yanks her ring off, flinching when the band snags against her skin and pulls her arm back, as if to throw it but she hesitates when she feels the inscription around the ring, instead holding it up, admiring the slight sheen and she remembers the look on Momo’s face when she slid the ring onto her finger, all lovestruck, hopeful and tender.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana had hoped that the wedding was just the start of their lives together, she felt as if she had everything she could ever wanted and now she has nothing. She misses the way Momo would wrap her arms around her during a thunderstorm, misses the dishes Momo would cook just for her whenever she feels like she’s craving for something. Misses the way Momo would smile sweetly at her whenever she thinks Sana isn’t looking. She mises the way Momo would run her fingers through her hair in the morning, gently kissing Sana awake.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She misses Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Misses her so <em>fiercely </em>it feels like she’s about to split apart from want.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana feels like dying all over again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo was hers, so was Tzuyu.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But now they have Mina.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Where does that leave her?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The absence of the cool metal resting against her finger causes a sense of emptiness to rise in her chest, nearly swallowing her whole and she quickly slides the ring back on, the familiar weight of it centring Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>At least she has this. Her last link to Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She takes a step forward when she suddenly feels herself being yanked to the side roughly, feet lifting off as she flies across the street, smacking against a tree as she dangles there helplessly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“There you are!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Oh no.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana winces when she sees an approaching figure who angrily points her mudang at her, bells jiggling mercilessly, and Sana feels herself swaying in the direction of the bells and her head aches when her surrounding blurs and shakes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Hey Jeongie! What brings you here?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yoo Jeongyeon snorts, glowering at the guilty looking ghost hanging on the tree branch “Don’t ‘hey’ me! Where have you been? It’s been two weeks since you returned back to the temple!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Did you cut your hair? It looks so good on you!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jeongyeon brings a hand up and plays with the short ends of her hair, a pleased smile surfacing before she snaps back to focus “Don’t try to distract me! What have you been doing these two weeks?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana places her hands up and tries to defend herself “I was just-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You were just creepily observing your ex-wife and daughter huh? Of course, you were.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey! I wasn’t being creepy! And she’s my wife, not my ex!” Sana crosses her arms irritably, offended at being though of as a creep. She wasn’t being creepy! She made sure to stay at least two inches behind everyone!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jeongyeon gives her a flat look, clearly disbelieving and Sana feels herself welling with indignation, childishly sticking her tongue out in defiance.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Sana, you’re <em>dead. </em>That’s pretty much ex-wife material.” She had wanted to say more on the technicalities on marriage regarding a dead spouse but the immediate hurt flashing across Sana’s features silenced her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jeongyeon feels an overwhelming sense of guilt surging up when she sees Sana’s eyebrows dip in sadness.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sa-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A couple walks pass the Shaman and stares at her weirdly, glancing towards Sana’s direction and wondering what she was yelling at. The man scratches his head in confusion when all he sees were trees and he eye Jeongyeon strangely, pulling his girlfriend along with him as he almost runs away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jeongyeon quickly fishes out her earbuds and plops one in, pretending she was on a call before speaking loudly again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sana I’m sorry, okay? I was just worried when I couldn’t find you.” She holds out a packet of skittles and shakes the bag enticingly “I’ll make an offering with these okay? For you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The sight of the sweets seems to invigorate Sana who nods happily, making grabby hands for it before noticing that she was still in fact, dangling on the tree undignifiedly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Erm…a little help here?” She chuckles abashedly when Jeongyeon waves her mudang again and she falls to the ground. She quickly picks herself up and runs towards Jeongyeon who was waiting for her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why were you here? Shouldn’t you be at the apartment during this timing?” Jeongyeon questions as she pockets her mudang and Sana sobers up slightly, her mega-watt smile slipping from her face. Sana then looks a little towards her right, trying to catch a glimpse of Momo only to see nothing but a sea of people milling about.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It hurts to see Momo walk away from her and it hurts even more that Momo didn’t notice that Sana was even there. That she has <em>always</em> been there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She shrugs, ignoring the tugging in her heart that yearns for Momo, ignoring how her feet had positioned themselves, wanting to run towards the direction that Momo was and grins up towards the Shaman, hopping in front of her and leading the way to the bus stop.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s nothing. C’mon, let’s go back. I can’t wait to taste the candy!” She suddenly spins around on her heels, hands clasped politely behind her back as she leans forward, lowering her voice into a whisper as she eyes Jeongyeon mischievously “By the way, your earbuds aren’t connected you goof.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Shaman immediately pulls at the wire only to discover it was hanging loose and she flushes from embarrassment as the onlookers seem to distance themselves a little more from the weird stranger. Jeongyeon spins about, trying to assure that she wasn’t weird, but no one seems willing to even look at her and Jeongyeon wilts slightly, pulling her baseball cap down and covering her eyes, wishing the ground would just swallow her up already.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana jumps around the Shaman, trying to engage her in a conversation but was promptly ignored.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As they made their way up the bus, Sana made sure to claim the window seat for herself, sticking her head out in anticipation of the wind only for Jeongyeon to sit rather rudely on Sana’s seat, essentially <em>on </em>the ghost herself, and tugging the windows closed before folding her arms and sinking down on the seat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Shaman feels eyes boring holes onto her back, and she cringes when she catches the eyes of a judgemental middle-aged mother, tugging her son behind her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana pulls her head back through the window and whines “Jeongie, I want to feel the wind!” She uselessly bats at Jeongyeon and the Shaman ignores her, pointedly connecting her earbuds to her phone and increasing the volume before closing her eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t ignore me!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ah...Mina just wants to be loved ;( also hello Jeongyeon! Welcome aboard!</p><p>Omg 147 Kudos! I guess people liked the angst? XD</p><p>I'm sorry to those who cried &gt;&lt; I'll write more fluff for the next few chapters, sounds good?</p><p>I'll try to upload once a week! And thank you for reading :') it makes me so happy to read your thoughts and I love comments :D</p><p>See you guys next time!</p><p>#TwiceMeetAgain</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>This stop: Jeongneung-dong, Jongno-gu</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All passengers please alight as this is the last stop.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We have arrived at Jeongneung-dong, Jongno-gu. Please watch your step as you alight.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Miss? Miss wake up.” Jeongyeon feels someone shaking her roughly and she sleepily cracks an eye open, squinting at the man standing next to her. She yawns loudly and tears spring to her eyes. Wow she must have be more exhausted than she thought.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” The bus driver points towards the sign board “This is the last stop for this bus, so you need to get off. If you want to head to the city, you’ll need to transfer onto bus number seventy-four.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh!” The Shaman stuffs her phone back into her pocket and pulls her T-Money card out, tapping it onto the card reader. She hops off the bus and gives a sheepish smile, wiping at her mouth to remove any traces of drool.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you so much!” The driver nods in acknowledgement before he gets back in his seat, waving at Jeongyeon as he turns out into the driveway.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re such a sleepyhead!” Jeongyeon rolls her eyes and starts trekking up the hill, climbing the winding stairway towards the temple. “Zip it. Why didn’t you wake me up?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Leaves littered the stairway and Jeongyeon nonchalantly kicks off some stray pebbles, whistling in boredom as they rolled off. With every step Sana’s voice seems to amplify and Jeongyeon just wants to lie down and sleep the day away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana pouts before jabbing an accusatory finger at the older woman which just passes through her body “I did! I kept saying ‘Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!’, but you just grumbled ‘Shut up’! I even tried breathing on you, but your jacket was keeping you too warm for you to notice!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Talking at the speed of a machine gun, The Japanese kept ranting until they reach the temple’s main entrance and she falls silent, the serious atmosphere makes her a little nervous, worried about getting judged by the numerous deities staring down at her imposingly. Jeongyeon whips out a lighter and flicks it, fanning the little flame over the candle hung by the side of the gate, whispering a prayer under her breath as she asks for permission to enter.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Shaman whirled around to look her in the eye “Quick, get inside. I have an announcement to make. Just need to get something first.” She takes off her shoes and slides on the indoor slippers as she shuffles towards her office, leaving Sana to her own devices as the younger woman shrugs and steps through the door.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shielding her eyes with her arm, she squints as her gaze adjusts to the brightly lit room. Something smells <em>really </em>nice and Sana’s stomach yowls in response. It was already half past ten at night, so Sana had not been expecting something akin to a party on the other side of the door. She feels herself drool slightly when she catches a whiff of the numerous delicacies laid out temptingly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey Sana! Welcome back!” A portly old man waddles past, sipping on a cup of offered beer. The last candle laid on the altar burns out with wisps of smoke coiling around the air, leaving behind a waxy mess with plates of food and it strikes Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh, right. Today is visiting day isn’t it? </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That would explain why so many of her fellow ghosts seem to be so high in spirits, probably from elation from their families offering food and sharing tidbits on their lives. It gets awfully lonely here and one can only eat temple food for so long before getting sick of it. A piece of nicely wrapped egg sushi calls to her and Sana discreetly scoops it up, popping it into her mouth and her taste buds’ melts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It tastes like home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Although the ones her mama makes are better of course!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The ghosts started laughing amongst themselves, indulging in all the offerings their family laid out for them, bragging at the accomplishments their living relatives achieved. The Japanese smiles as she walks pass them, happily greeting them as the others offer her a mouthful of their offerings.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana walks towards her own urn near the end of the wall and sees a layer of fine dust on her portrait, staring dejectedly at the emptiness. She peeks about, hoping to find some hidden treats at the side with her name on it but there were none.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo didn’t visit.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The only decoration she had was a small picture frame of Momo and her on their wedding day, carefree smiles on their faces as well as a pink carnation that has long wilted. Her mother runs a flower shop and when she was younger, Sana had loved to help out, cheerfully picking out flowers and arranging them in bouquets. She’s made plenty for Momo even before they started dating.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Pink carnations: ‘I will never forget you’, a symbol for a mother’s pure love for her child </em>Sana recites automatically. Her heart twinges, remembering how her mother’s hands shook as she places the flower at the slot beside the urn when she was first placed to rest here, wishing to give a small piece of comfort to her daughter. Sometimes Sana wishes she never picked up flower language, maybe then her mother’s choice wouldn’t hurt so much.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>“Sa-chan,” </em>Saki had whispered, hoping that her daughter could hear her <em>“Sa-chan mama is waiting for you okay? Come visit me tonight won’t you?” </em>She tearfully takes out a handkerchief and wipes at the glass panel separating the urn and her hand, trembling as she looks at the portrait of her daughter smiling at her <em>“Please…let me dream</em> of <em>you.”</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She rests her head against the panel, imagining it was her daughter she was touching <em>“Please.”</em> Sana had tried giving her mother a hug only to cause the older woman to shiver before her father had swoop in, placing a comforting arm over his wife as he leads her away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>“Mama, mama please don’t cry.” </em>Sana hovers around her parents and she bites her lip when she sees her father trying to hold back his tears, shoulders shaking as a monk does the departure ritual. <em>“Papa…”</em> It hurts to see the man she grew up admiring so much look so crushed, look so fragile like a small gust of wind would topple him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Hirais crowd around the Minatozakis, Hana holding on to the older woman’s arm for support and she looks at her gratefully. Sana counts <em>one, two, three, four, five. </em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo wasn’t here.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>No one blames her, it wasn’t unexpected that she wouldn’t turn up as everyone had seen how Momo had become self-destructive after getting the news, unable to see her wife in a small porcelain container. Her wife was full of life, full of love and joy. She had so much to offer the world and now she was nothing but ashes and Momo doesn’t know what she’ll do if she saw that urn, saw that there wasn’t a Sana anymore.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She will never get to see Sana again, never get to taste her cooking, never get to hold her hand as they stroll along the park. Sana is <em>gone</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo doesn’t know what she would do if she saw the urn besides the urge to scream at anyone who would listen to <em>‘Give her back to me!’</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She’ll scream and scream until she loses her voice, until blood drips from how her nails had dug into her palms, until her eyes are swollen from all the tears. She’ll slam her fists down on the ground until her bones are broken as she begs, she’ll kneel before any God until she can’t feel her legs, she’ll make a deal with the Devil and take Sana’s place. She’ll do anything, <em>anything </em>to get Sana back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But no one is listening.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Maybe if she screams hard enough, maybe if she cries enough, maybe is she hurts enough, maybe she’ll wake up and find that it was just a terrible dream. Maybe she would wake up held securely in Sana’s arms as she asks “What’s wrong Moguri? Bad dream?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t know what she would do if she sees that urn, sees reality. That Sana is <em>never </em>coming back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She <em>can’t</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana doesn’t blame her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That night Sana tried everything she could, but she couldn’t materialize in her mother’s dreams. All she succeeded in was giving herself a headache and she yearns for her mother, yearns for her father to pick her up in a piggyback as he races through their house. She wishes she had more time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That night was also the first night that Sana slept alone, and she craves for the overly warm body of her wife lying beside her. The Momo shaped hole in her soul feels lacking, reaching and reaching for something that is never coming back and she <em>aches</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sleep doesn’t come easy to Sana anymore.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That had been the first and the last time she had any visitors. Her parents returned to Japan immediately and Momo threw herself into her work.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She’s alone now and she has eternity to come to terms with it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But it still hurts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even when she held no expectations, it still hurts when no one came for her. Like she has been forgotten.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Perhaps this was for the best, she is dead after all.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Your wife didn’t visit again?” Sana jolts as Yeonjung materialized in front of her, chewing on a drumstick and some kimbap that was messily wrapped, pickled radish spilling out. “Actually…I don’t think I’ve ever seen her?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana smiles morosely, fingers hovering over her wedding portrait with Momo, gently tracing out her wife’s features “Things have gotten really busy these days, that’s why. She’s a sergeant at the station you know? She can’t just leave whenever she wants. And I don’t blame her honestly, she has to juggle managing her team and looking after our daughter and-” Trailing off, the Japanese drops her hand back to her side, smile flickering.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And what?” Yeonjung offers Sana a bite which the Japanese declines, appetite gone. “And nothing. It’s been three years Yeonjung…she needs to move on at some point. There’s no use pining after a dead woman after all.” She couldn’t help the bitterness coating her words and Yeonjung frowns in concern, looping her arm around Sana’s before leading them to a quiet corner, away from the celebrations.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, what’s wrong? You’re acting really weird. Did Momo do something? If she did, I’ll possess someone and beat her up!” Yeonjung declares, throwing a fist out and punching an imaginary Momo, letting out a maniac cackle when she pictures Momo begging for forgiveness. Sana puts a gentle palm on the other woman’s pushing her fist down.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We can’t possess people,” She gives a knowing look to her friend “but it was sweet of you to offer.” Sana clasps her hands together, her thumbs rubbing circles on each other and Sana finds comfort in the soothing motion. “I just…I just miss her, you know?” She twists her ring slightly, the gesture which she usually finds solace in sends a heaviness towards her heart all the way to her toes, leaving her feeling numb.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I know, I know. It’s been three <em>years</em> and I thought I had made peace with my death. I mean I can scream and cry all I want; I still won’t come back to life. I know this, I’ve accepted my fate. But today…today I saw Momo, Tzuyu and…<em>Mina</em> together.” Saying her name felt like something acidic was sliding down her throat, fighting back the urge to gag and her lips tug back in a sneer.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mina? Oh, the new girlfriend?” Chewing noises engulf the small space between them and the Korean swallows, wiping the grease at the back of her hand.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana nods jerkily, biting her lip “Yeah, that’s the one.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wow, they’re still together? It’s not easy raising a kid, especially if it isn’t yours.” Yeonjung ponders thoughtfully, waving the drumstick about as if illustrating her point. “And your kid is kinda quiet, isn’t she? It takes patience to get a kid to open up and from what you told me, Tzuyu is starting to speak in full sentences right? So, you really have to give her some credit!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hurt, agreement, disappointment and shame combined to stew relentlessly in Sana’s thoughts, setting her brows down in a frown as she spirals into a pensive mood. A dark cloud seems to hang overhead, dampening the otherwise cheerful atmosphere and the Korean fall silent, aware that she said something wrong.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She <em>knows </em>that it was only natural for Momo to move on, to find another. Momo is young and talented and beautiful and amazing and all the other positive adjectives that exists in every language known to mankind. Momo is so much more than she thinks she is and if Sana could see it than so could everyone else. She doesn’t blame Mina for falling, who wouldn’t?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And it was true that Tzuyu needed more positive adult influences in her life, she <em>knows </em>this. She was there during the doctor’s visit, was there to see the shock and guilt etched on Momo’s face. Mina tries, she truly does, and Sana had bear witness to the sleepless nights Mina had went through just to bond with her daughter, all the Band-Aids wrapped her fingers from crafting sessions to create toys for Tzuyu, just to get the toddler to warm up to her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She’s seen the way Mina acts with Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tender. That’s the word Sana would use to describe how Mina is with Momo, taking off her glasses as the older woman slumps over her desk, snoring. It was in the small and subtle gestures that she performs, and Sana could feel the thought and care radiating off Mina. The ghost had accompanied Mina on countless grocery runs as the younger Japanese runs to different districts, trying to gather ingredients to cook old favourites for Momo that the officer had mentioned offhandedly that she was craving for.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Cookbooks and YouTube videos spread across the counter as Mina frowns over them, meticulously measuring and tasting only to pout when it doesn’t taste quite <em>right</em>. She’ll huff, pushing her sleeves up as she hunkers down and works on a second batch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana wishes she could tell Mina that Momo wouldn’t care if it doesn’t taste like something a gourmet chef made, she’ll be overjoyed simply at the prospect of food. Still, it was heart-warming to see the younger woman try so hard. She’s seen the smile that breaks through the younger woman’s face when Momo eats with gusto, endlessly praising her girlfriend for her efforts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Little scars and scratches mostly from kitchen mishaps decorates Mina’s hands, scarring the otherwise smooth surface, but still a smile is plastered on her face, happy to be contributing to the household. Happy to be the source of the little smiles Tzuyu would direct at her and the soft gaze Momo would look at her with.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Also, Momo doesn’t cry as much as she does before. She doesn’t wake up screaming her lungs out, thrashing among the bedsheets as she tries to reach for <em>something </em>in her dreams nor does she drink as much these days, replacing alcohol with tea or smoothies. Momo is doing better and it was all thanks to the younger Japanese.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She <em>knows </em>and she is grateful for Mina, truly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But her heart just can’t seem to accept it, constantly warring with her head, screaming like a child throwing a tantrum that that should be <em>her </em>in Mina’s place.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“The thing is…I saw the three of them together today and they just looked so…so <em>beautiful</em>. Like they belong together.” She struggles to find the words to express herself accurately, hands gesturing weakly in front of her “They looked like a <em>family</em>, Yeonjung. I guess that’s what threw me for a loop, the way they looked so perfect together as if it was always meant to be the three of them and I was just some…some placeholder for Momo until Mina came along. It felt like I meant nothing, that I was <em>nothing. </em>That it was always supposed to be Momo and <em>Mina</em>, and not me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yeonjung stops chewing, eyes creased at the corner with uneasiness at the hurt lacing through her friend’s words.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Tzuyu looked so happy with them too.” It was said softly, so softly that Yeonjung had to strain her ears to hear it. “The two of them swung Tzuyu between them and the way she laughed…it looked so <em>right</em> that it hurts.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana claws lightly at her cardigan, digging her nails deep into her chest as if trying to rip her heart out. Maybe that would lessen the pain “My own daughter, I never even got to touch her, never got to say ‘hello’ and it <em>kills </em>me to see her calling some other woman ‘Mama’. And you should have seen the look on Momo’s face when she saw Mina’s new hair colour. She used to look at <em>me</em> like that. I just-!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I-I lost her, Yeonjung. I lost my wife.” She breathes out shakily and Yeonjeong places an arm around her shoulder, rubbing her arm in support and Sana leans in, thankful for the support.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It just struck me then I think…it really made me think ‘Ah, I’m dead, aren’t I?’ It was then that I truly understood my position and the gap between us and them you know? That no matter how many times I say ‘good morning’ to Tzuyu, no matter how many times I say ‘I love you’ to Momo, they will never say it back because…I’m <em>dead</em>. I’ll never hear Momo say how much she loves me again, I’ll n-never get to kiss her again and I’ll never be able to give Tzuyu a hug, never be able to comfort her after a nightmare…”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Never.” She reiterates and Sana feels something crumbling within her, turning to dust. Every spot that Momo had touched starts to rot, decay travelling throughout her body and she feels like ripping her skin off.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo! Momo! Momo!</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Her heart demands, slamming against its cage and wailing when it can’t feel her wife’s presence. Something rattles violently in her, sending tremors throughout her body and into her bones, loosening the lock she’s kept shut tight on her memories and the dam breaks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana submerges.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“A baby…?” Momo’s eyes were soft and shaky, tentativeness apparent amongst the pure unadulterated love, worried that it was all just a dream.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“A baby.” Sana confirms, lacing her hands above Momo’s and she guides her towards her stomach, pressing it slightly and Momo inhales sharply, hands trembling. Momo draws small circles around the area and Sana hums airily, resting her chin on her wife’s shoulder as they sway slowly, a gentle melody playing in the background.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Mine?” Momo croaks out, nosing her way up Sana’s jaw, peppering light kisses as she slides her hand underneath her wife’s shirt, feeling the smooth skin and Sana closes her eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Yours.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tears drip down onto her clenched fists, knuckles turned white from how tightly she’s gripping her hands together. “I’m dead, Yeonjung. I-I’m never getting my family back.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo snorts when Sana trips, quickly grabbing her. “I told you to wear sandals!” She scolds lightly, glaring down at the six-inch heels Sana insists on wearing. “My hero.” Sana whispers coyly before kissing her girlfriend’s cheeks, leaving a mark in its place and Momo blushes, touching it shyly.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“It hurts to see them move on w-while I’m stuck here.” A whine bubbles up her throat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The laughter surrounding the atrium dulls down to a slight throb in Sana’s head and images of Mina with her family flashes through her mind, provoking her. Every memory she ever had with Momo was replaced with Mina in her stead and Sana feels as though she’s watching a movie of her own life, except she was never a part of it. She watches as Mina takes over her place, unable to do anything to stop them.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>Momo and Mina, Momo and Mina, Momo and Mina </em>swirls in her head. She remembers the lovesick look Mina had directed at Momo and she feels like she’s drowning.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Bile rises in her throat when an image of the way Momo had held Mina, had leaned down to kiss her softly forces its way into her mind.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She feels sick. She feels sick.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The tightness she feels constricting her lungs leaden her movements and she falls.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A small video plays somewhere in the back of her head, a scene so achingly familiar that Sana keeled over, her heart in her throat. The clip jerks and the colours run, distorting Momo’s voice to something monstrous before the video freezes. Crawling on her knees, Sana reaches out towards the still image of Momo, towards salvation and the moment her fingers makes contact, Momo dissipates like sand, running over her clenched fist and Sana fumbles desperately to hold on.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sinking, she feels like she’s sinking. She feels like she’s being sucked in deeper into a whirlpool of memories, trapping her in its vortex and she can’t escape.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She can’t breathe.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>This feels like a nightmare.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But Sana can’t seem to wake up.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Every thought was like a stroke of a brush, painting over her memories, tainting them beyond recognition and she looks on in horror.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A what could have been.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If Momo had had met Mina first, if Momo had loved Mina first.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If Momo had chosen Mina.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo pouts, a dab of whip cream smeared on her upper lip and she smiles when Sana leans in to kiss it away.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A blur.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo pouts, a dab of whip cream smeared on her upper lip and she smiles when Mina leans in to kiss it away.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Something in her revolts as though the thought had scalded her, pulling her away. Her body reacts physically, folding up and pulling away from Yeonjung. She doesn’t want to think about it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She wants to go back to simpler times, to when she was Momo’s and Momo was hers. When they had the world at their fingertips and each other as partners.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Back to when Momo loves <em>her.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>“…Does it ever get better?” Sana covers her face with her hands “Will I ever be able to look at Momo and not feel this ache deep within me? This longing? That I just want her to hold me in her arms again, to tell me everything is going to be okay.” She can almost feel the phantom touch of Momo caressing her cheeks with the back of her hand and Sana shudders, hunching her shoulders.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Satang, I love you. Always.” Momo slides a sliver band onto her finger, a promise burning its mark onto her flesh and onto her soul. They were young, only just fifteen years of age but Sana knows its Momo she wants, that it’s only ever going to be Momo for the rest of her life.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Her missing puzzle piece, she found her and she’s never letting go.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She only hopes Momo feels that way about her too.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>The ring shines under the sun but it cannot compare to the gleam in Momo’s eyes when Sana slides the partner ring onto her finger. Cannot compare to the way Momo looks at her, like Sana is </em>exactly<em> what she’s been dreaming of, has been hoping for.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The box was carelessly discarded, forgotten as Sana leans in “Forever?” Knocking their forehead together as they interlocked their hands, the rings pressing against one another in perfect symmetry and something unclasps in Sana and she unravels in Momo’s arms.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Floating, she feels like she’s floating.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Rubbing her thumb over the ring “Forever.” Momo promises, nudging their noses together and-</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo. Momo. Momo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A steady tempo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>That day, her heart starts beating for Momo and Momo alone. Maybe it has always been that way just that she never realized because Momo is all she knows, all she needs.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She doesn’t know how to make it stop but she doesn’t want to either.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Will I ever be able to look at Tzuyu and not feel this, this pain? This overwhelming resentment that it was me that died?  Will I…will I ever be able to look at Mina and not desperately wish that was me? That I was the one tucking Tzuyu into bed, the one giving Momo a massage after a long day of work. That it’s <em>me </em>with them.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo holds Sana’s hand in hers, placing it above her heart and Sana can feel it thrumming wildly like a hummingbird underneath her fingertips and that sends her own heart into a frenzy. The older teenager averts her eyes, a light flush dusting over the tip of her ears. Her hair had been a mess from soccer practice, and she reeks of sweat, shirt crumpled and pants coloured green with grass stains.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>If she squints, she can see a hint of seaweed stuck among the front rows of her teeth. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana thinks Momo has never looked more beautiful. Her heart agrees.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>“Satang…I really </em>really<em> like you. W-would you be my girlfriend?”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>When it comes to Momo, Sana finds that the answer will </em>always<em> be a yes.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Will I ever be able to not look at Mina and feel hatred? It’s not her fault, not at all but I can’t help but <em>despise </em>her. That’s my spot, that’s <em>my</em> family she’s playing house with. But at the same time…I know that’s not my place anymore…”</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Sataaaang!” A seven-year-old Momo whines, skipping on the large boulders by the river and she wobbles dangerously almost falling off before she rights herself, laughing happily as she swings her arms. “Hurry up! The frogs would be leaving soon!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana trembles, afraid to take her first step and utterly convinced she’ll fall in and drown. She squeezes her eyes shut and takes a step back, shaking her head when she feels a warm hand grabbing her own and all at once her body flares to life.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A small fire lights up within her, slowly burning.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She <em>knows her.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Don’t be scared! I’m here and I’ll protect you!” Momo puffs out her chest. The sun had been setting then, casting its dying rays over the older girl, shrouding her in a cloak of golden light and Sana is captivated. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Something in her recognizes Momo, recognizes what she means to Sana even if she herself doesn’t know it yet.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>She </em>knows <em>her.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Even though she was an inch shorter than the younger girl, Sana believes Momo. Believes she’ll protect her. She slips her hand into Momo’s awaiting one, marvels as she notices how perfectly their hands fit together. A toothy grin rewards her for her bravery, a gleaming, dazzling smile and Sana is lost.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>She knows </em>her<em>.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo’s hand feels warm in hers and just like that, she wasn’t scared anymore.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The flame burns a little brighter.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Will I?”</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Tension grips her as Yeonjung’s muscles coil, itching to lie, to comfort and to run away from the loaded question all at once. She forces down her flight response and gently maneuvers Sana onto her lap, caressing her hair softly like a mother soothing her child. The Japanese’s shoulder sags as she burrows deeper, grateful that she can finally touch someone even if it’s not the one she had in mind.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Say it, say it!</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No don’t, she’s in a fragile state right now, I have to choose my words carefully.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>An internal war wages inside her and the Korean struggles to find the appropriate words, mouth opening and closing wordlessly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…No, no you won’t,” the confirmation only serves to crush Sana further and she curls up into herself and Yeonjung gently pries her hands off.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Running her hands softly through Sana’s hair, she drops her voice low “You won’t be able to, but it does get easier.” She taps her heart “This one learns to behave with time.” A sceptical look aimed at her and the Korean sighs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yeonjung jerks a thumb at herself, smiling crookedly “Look at me, I’ve been dead for twenty years. There hasn’t been a day that goes past without me regretting my decision.” She rubs at her neck absentmindedly, massaging the red marks coiling around the column of her throat “To be fair I was only nineteen. Young dumb <em>and </em>broke. I really hit the millennial jackpot.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She laughs mirthlessly and looks down at her hands and frowns when she notes the slight translucent glow, eyes drooping with sorrow.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t even remember much actually, one moment I was standing on my chair and thinking and the next I woke up here. I didn’t even know I was dead, and I tried going home to my mom. I thought she was ignoring me because I was being a brat, so I stood in front of her, yelling ‘Eomma!’ and she just…walked through me.” She flicks her eyes towards her friend “You know that feeling, don’t you? That <em>hollowness </em>when someone goes through you and your heart just…stretches and snaps.” Yeonjung snaps her fingers for effect and Sana jumps.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No matter what I did, my mom never noticed me, and did you know how it feels to see her cry all day, blaming herself for my death? Let me tell you, it <em>sucks</em>. All these years, I spent my days following my mom around and frankly it kills me when I see her struggling to collect cardboards and how the landlord treats her. Smug bastard…threatening to kick my mom out every month. Even my aunts refuse to pick up her calls.” The look in her eyes darkens, a mix of despair and wistfulness pooling.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sometimes I find myself hurrying ahead of her and trying to pick up some of the metal cans on the ground. Only to realize I couldn’t when my hands passes through. Useless in life and useless in death. At least I’m consistent right?” She smirks self-deprecatingly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I wish I could go up to her and be like ‘Hey Eomma, I’m home!’ or wrap some medical bandages around her knees y’know? Her joints are getting so bad that it hurts her to even stand. I’ve heard the way she cries out in the morning and it hurts the worst when it rains for some reason. But she won’t go to the doctor,” She fiddles with her half-eaten drumstick, suddenly tasting sour in her mouth “instead she saves up to buy food to offer me, her good for nothing daughter who killed herself just because her boyfriend dumped her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana slowly sits up and reaches out to hold Yeonjung’s hand in hers, squeezing it in a show of support which the Korean appreciates, gently swinging their joined hands.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t even think about how this would affect her. My dad died before I was born so she only has me. Now that I’m gone…she’s alone. There’s no one to tell her to have her meals, no one to tell her to bundle up cause it’s cold out there.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She bumps her shoulders with Sana’s and the Japanese lurches slightly in her seat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Suddenly disconcerted, the jovial mood around them feels a mile away and Yeonjung slumps down, rolling her drumstick in her hands.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So, I get it, I truly do. They always say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone and…it’s true. Hell, I even miss the way my mom always nags at me to eat more, especially the taste of her kimchi.” Suddenly she’s nine again and in the kitchen, crying over the bad score she’s gotten for math. Her mom tuts as she serves a steaming hot bowl of kimchi stew, lovingly scooping up rice and giving it to her, telling her to eat up. Her mom had reassured her that it was okay, wiping away her tears with the bottom of her apron, that as long as she tried her best that’s all that matters.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She remembers thinking that day’s kimchi stew was the best she ever had even though her mom uses the same recipe every time. Maybe it has something to do with the hug she got after the meal, her mom telling her that ‘It’s okay’ over and over again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A tug in her heart sends her back to focus and Yeonjung feels the years weighing on her. “Okay that’s enough depressive talk for today!” She declares when she feels the prick of tears stinging her eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, want to go on a walk with me?” Yeonjung stands up, dusting off her skirt before extending a hand. Sana holds onto her and she couldn’t help comparing Yeonjung’s hand with Momo’s, couldn’t help missing the feeling of her wife’s rough calluses.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana sits on the floor, sniffling as she feels the blood trickling down her skinned knee, a gash running down the length of her leg and she swears she can see the slight white of her bone poking through and she feels like puking. She won’t cry, her mama said she’s a big girl now. She won’t cry.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But it hurts so bad.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>A cute bunny band-aid starts waving in front of her blurred vision and she looks up, a worried Momo staring back at her.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Here,” The older girl wiggles the band-aid. Sana doesn’t respond, choosing to just stare at Momo. The other kids have all left for recess so why was she still here?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo frowns at the unresponsiveness before she huffs, ripping the band-aid open and smacking it over her knee and another on the gash before planting a kiss on it. She then wiggles her fingers over the wound, muttering something before pulling Sana on her feet and he younger girl winces when her knee flexes, pulling at the torn skin.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Oh.” She then squats down and waits while Sana stares on, unsure why the older girl was kneeling there. “Get on!” A harsh demand yet Sana could feel the concern lacing through her words and her legs takes an unsteady step towards the other girl, throwing her feet over her waist and Momo stands abruptly, tossing Sana lightly and securing her. Sana throws her arms around her neighbour when she feels her feet lift off the ground, burying her face into her neck.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Don’t cry” Momo commands yet her words held no bite as Sana drapes herself over Momo’s back. Safe and warm, the two emotions she identifies strongly with Momo surfaces in her mind. Sana feels as though she exists inside a bubble called Hirai Momo, sheltered and protected from the world.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She falls asleep halfway along their journey to the nurse’s office, exhausted from crying and waking up with her knee professionally bandaged with a messy signature with a little deformed pig scribbled on it. An itch runs through her leg and she reaches forward to remedy it only to find that she couldn’t quite move her arm. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Thinking that perhaps the Boogie man had cut off her arm like in that one movie she watched with Momo (even when her parents forbid her but how can she say no when Momo looks at her like that?), she panics and looks to her right and was confronted with the sleeping face of her best friend resting on top of her arm, their hands interlocked tightly.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Light airy snores puff out, shifting her bangs slightly and Momo frowns cutely in her slumber, murmuring “Come back here Mr Daikon…” before a silly smile spreads among her face, chomping down on the imaginary radish.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The curtain shifts as a strong gust of wind blows and Sana splutters, pushing away the fabric. A cherry blossom petal drifts in and Sana looks on, mesmerized as it lands on Momo’s nose and the older girl scrunches it up, annoyed. Sana gently removes the petal, fingers brushing up against the older girl’s face and Momo relaxes, nuzzling into her palm and her face returns back to its dream-like state.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She wants to stay like this forever.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The door burst open, breaking the moment and reveals the worried look on her mama’s face as she runs towards Sana, rapidly questioning her wellbeing and simultaneously rousing and praising Momo for taking care of her daughter in one breath.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo’s tummy rumbles and she flushes, covering her stomach in embarrassment.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>Sana later finds out that Momo had refused to leave her side, skipping lunch just to hold onto Sana’s hand, reasoning that she </em>has <em>to stay because the younger girl hates waking up alone, pouting when the nurse tries to shoo her away only to relent when Momo wouldn’t let go of Sana.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>The little scribble on her bandage seems to strike a chord and her heart pulses, a little Momo shaped imprint making-</em>deepening<em>-its mark.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She keeps the bandage in a Ziploc bag, fighting off her mama’s attempt at throwing it out and looking at it whenever she feels down. Her papa had joked that ninety-nine percent of her prized possessions came from Momo one way or another when he sees the way Sana sets the Ziploc next to her bed, right under her nightstand so the doodle faces her as she sleeps.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He wasn’t wrong.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo doesn’t know just what impact she has on Sana’s fragile little heart.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The two of them circled around the temple’s estate before settling down at the garden in front of the main area for worship, feeling the cool breeze. Sana gazes up at the moon and Momo comes straight into her mind before a tiny image of Tzuyu joins, bringing a wave of melancholy with her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Moguri, the moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Even if they can never meet in life again, at least they have this. She stretches her arm out, fingers reaching out to the moon, comforting herself with the thought that perhaps Momo was doing the same, connecting the both of them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Perhaps she was thinking about her too.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The last of the temple goers were leaving while a few were busy packing up and Sana strolls in, waving goodbye and thanking them for visiting.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for your offerings! I’m sure your relatives would love it!” She sees a petite figure hunched over the prayer mats; head pressed low before she rigorously shakes a tin.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Would my father be okay?” A wooden stick falls to the ground and she picks it up. Sana peeks over her shoulders anxiously.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>19</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes dart to the spreadsheet before her, scanning through the different oracles before finding the one that corresponds with her number and she lets out a sigh of relief.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He will be fine.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>A small smile crawls up the Japanese’s face when the other woman starts bowing repeatedly, happy with her divination.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As she continues to pray for her father’s health, refusing to get up from her position in order to show her gratitude, her son starts toddling around her as he takes in the different statues littered around the temple and his nose crinkles up from the stench of incense. He sneezes harshly, body stumbling back from the force and his shoes made squeaky noises.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana takes a deep breath and blows, directing the smoke away from the young boy and he looks at her direction in confusion, head tilting as he tries to locate the source of the cool air. The ghost smiles down happily as the little boy pokes his head around, running into her body.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey Sana?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hmm?” Sana hums, smiling at the little boy as he runs circles around the room, tiptoeing to look at the different gods closely. He looked to be around Tzuyu’s age and Sana was struck with a sudden emptiness, missing her daughter.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Maybe I should pop by later on during bedtime story, I wonder what Momo is going to read today? I hope it’s the one on Blue’s clues. Tzu-Tzu loves that one.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“What is your biggest regret?”</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Sana raises a brow at the peculiar question.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Regret? Well, I have quite a few. Why?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well…you know Seungjae?” Sana nods “Yeah well he went <em>up</em>.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Japanese turns to face Yeonjung, eyes wide with shock “<em>Up</em>? When?” Yeonjung counts on her fingers “I think…three days ago?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wow. I didn’t think any of us would ever ascend!” Sana pulls a face, mimicking Jeongyeon as she whisper-shouts in a high pitch voice “Why are you guys still lingering here?! Go up now! You’re making my life so much more difficult! My hair is turning grey because of you!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yeonjung smiles cheekily, thoroughly amused as she shoves Sana roughly “A few days back, his daughter came round to visit. I believe her name was Yuna? Well guess what? She announced that she was pregnant!” The Japanese gasps, eyes alight with delight and genuine joy and the Koreans laughs, remembering the look on her old friend’s face as he received the news.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Now you know Seungjae, he loves his daughter more than anything in this world so when he died, he was just worried about her. None of the other Shamans could have convinced him to ascend, he always had excuses like ‘I need to wait until she’s married’ or ‘I need to see if her interview went well’ and all sorts of things.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her infectious smiles die down to something sweeter, toying with the edges of her lips “But knowing that he was about to be a grandfather really sealed the deal for him. He finally realized his daughter was doing fine, that she will continue being okay and living well even without him and that he could leave without any regrets left.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Jeongyeon had be <em>so </em>happy when Seungjae agreed to go, something about finally having one out of fifty. I feel bad for her though, can’t be easy to be the only Shaman whose ghosts won’t leave. You should have seen the little dance she did when Seungjae approached her.” Yeonjung wiggles on the spot and Sana barks out a laugh.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The incense burns, ash flicking off and scalding the young boy who yelps.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And…he just <em>left</em>. Like it totally wasn’t what I was expecting. There wasn’t a portal that opened nor were there any angels descending from above. There wasn’t even a grim reaper! Talk about a let-down…” Yeonjung grumbles “He just slowly faded away y’know? With this smile on his face, like he was dreaming of something nice. Like he was finally free.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Korean tilts her head back as she spreads her arms “Like he was going <em>home</em>.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What the Korean had described sounded liberating, but it felt like the opposite to Sana. <em>That sounds scary </em>She thinks to herself. She doesn’t know what she’ll do without Momo and Tzuyu in her life. She hopes she won’t find up anytime soon. She wasn't ready to leave at all.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It got me thinking, what is my regret? What do I need to do before I’ll leave?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Normally the ones who died by suicide are always the fastest to ascend but not me. I couldn’t wait to get out of earth when I was alive but now…now I finally see what I’ve been taking for granted.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So…for me my because regret would be my mom, I guess. I want to wait for her to leave together. She was always there for me as a kid, so I want to return the favour.” She smiles faintly, picturing the scene “I want to say, ‘Let’s go Eomma, Appa’s waiting for us.’ And hold my hand out like this.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yeonjung holds out a hand and smiles gently at no one in particular, envisioning her mother in front of her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What about you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Truthfully, there were many things that Sana has regretted in life such as the time she had opened the flap under the vending machine as a kid and was greeted by an army of frogs leaping at her. She even found a frog hiding in her rain boots when she went home, the slimy squishy feeling of it grosses her out immensely but Momo had been fascinated, begging Sana to bring her back to the location and hoping to catch some.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There was also that time where she attempted to do parkour by leaping off the playground slide with a skateboard like those popular American youtubers while Momo records her. The open-mouthed look of amazement distracted Sana, making her feel like she was the only one that mattered to the older girl and she falters, missing a step and tumbling down, landing on her face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Blood trickles down her nose and she swipes at it, sobbing slightly when she feels a throbbing ache and the sound of Momo screaming echoes in her head, cutting deep into her. The fear in Momo’s voice startled Sana and she rushes to comfort the older girl as blood leaks down her in floods, drenching her limited edition Hello Kitty shirt (Momo would admonish her for that later, upset that the shirt she got for Sana was ruined), forgetting the pain she was in. She <em>never</em> wants to hear Momo cry ever again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She also regrets not having that ice cream milk puff she’s been saving after queueing for five hours only for Momo to eat it, a bored look on her face as she criticizes the taste. Her girlfriend’s face screws up in thought as she chews slowly, savouring the taste and grimace, sticking out her tongue at the doughiness of the puff. She then condemns the puff for being overpriced before tossing it in the bin without offering a bite to Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo sleeps on the couch that night.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana also regrets not visiting her parents in Japan when she was pregnant, planning on flying over once the baby was born to celebrate the first month of birth. They had planned to visit the Sakurazaka park with the baby, buying cute family outfits. Momo had stayed up for nights, whispering to her baby bump about all the fun times they had planned.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“See baby? Mommy’s going to bring you to all the cool theme parks and vacation places! We can dress up as Snow White and a dwarf! Of course, you would be the dwarf since you’re so little.” Momo plants a tiny kiss at the swell of Sana’s tummy, feeling a light kick.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, what about me!” Sana complains, her pout washing away when Momo crawls up the bed to give her a kiss, cuddling into her wife. “I’ll take you anywhere! Just tell me where you wanna go to and I’ll make it happen!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Really?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Really!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana props her head up on her palm, tapping against her jaw as she thinks through her options before settling on one. “I wanna go to Universal Studios in Japan! I heard they have a new Minion ride and those cute bear hats; Sakura went there with her girlfriend last week and the pictures were gorgeous!” She turns to face her wife, puppy eyes out in full force “Please Moguri? Can we go?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A light tug pulls Sana into an embrace and Momo places her chin on top of Sana’s head, sniffing the pleasant shampoo “USJ? Yeah of course! I was planning on bringing us there anyways, hear that baby?” She leans slightly down to mutter softly, tapping out <em>I love you </em>and she feels the baby shifting “You need to come here quickly! We’re waiting for you-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana shoves her wife in annoyance, cheeks puffed out “Don’t say that! What if the baby is early?” Momo panics and scrambles towards the bump, hands caressing apologetically “Oops! Ignore mommy okay? Just take your time! We’ll be waiting,” She places one lingering kiss on the side of Sana’s tummy and her wife giggles at the wet sensation, pushing Momo’s head off gently “I can’t wait to see you baby. I already love you so much.” Momo suddenly melts as she looks at the baby bump, her touches reverent and Sana softens, aching for Momo to hold her again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That night Sana dreams of love, dreams of happiness with Momo and their little one. She doesn’t know how she got so lucky.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Of course, their plans never came to fruition. After the fateful day, Momo had dumped all the outfits Sana had bought for their family off to a bin, tossing anything that reminded her of her wife away aggressively, trashing pictures with her bare hands and ignoring how the glass seems to cut into her fists, scarring her palms as Tzuyu wails from the loud noises.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had threatened to burn the ugly rug that Sana loved so much, threatening to rip it to shreds if Sana doesn’t appear right now. She looks around her house frantically-<em>hopefully-</em>and she hears nothing but the baby bawling.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had even attempted to break apart the dining table that she had built with Sana with a baseball bat, swinging recklessly as she starts seeing Sana in everything and everywhere at once before Hana had intervened. Now most of Sana’s possessions lies forgotten inside the drawers in Momo’s study, the older woman unable to stomach seeing them with feeling like breaking apart all over again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana regrets many things in life, but perhaps the one thing she regrets the most was never getting to hold Tzuyu. All she has of her baby were those grainy ultrasound pictures and she would do <em>anything </em>for a family picture of the three of them together. She doesn’t even know if her daughter knows her and that utterly <em>kills </em>Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…I would hold Tzuyu close to me.” She finally decides as she toys with the fraying string at the edge of her cardigan. There’s so much she wants to do but above all else, she wants her daughter to run to her, into her arms as she hugs her tightly. “Just one hug. That would be enough for me.” She daydreams about holding Tzuyu in her arms, feeling the weight of her baby held securely as she breathes in the sweet shampoo of her daughter. As Tzuyu wiggles in her grasp and snuggles into her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Just one hug and she’ll be contented.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll go up immediately if that happens.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The mood dips again and this time, Yeonjung doesn’t know how to make it better.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A gong sounds, low and foreboding and the sound travels throughout the temple, cutting right through their conversations as their back straightens instinctively. It was a signal, calling them back to where the gong was placed and Sana finds herself walking mindlessly, finding her way back into the atrium to gather among the other departed souls.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Curious murmurs increase in volume as everyone tried asking around on why they were gathered only to get confused shrugs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jeongyeon twirls the stick before hitting the gong once more, the sound vibrating and bouncing off the walls as everyone stays silent, alert and tensed. The Shaman lays a hand on the gong, quietening it as she walks to the centre of the room, clearing her throat and unrolls a letter.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> “As everyone knows, Seungjae went up yeah?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Excited chatter rushes through the crowd and everyone shuffles restlessly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“This is like…the very first ghost I’ve ever sent up since working here.” Someone cheers and Jeongyeon’s glare shuts him up quickly. “Do you know how bad this looks? I’ve only managed to send up <em>one</em>. One! Out of the fifty of you! I’m basically the laughingstock of all the other Shamans-” Someone yawns rather loudly and gives an apologetic look to the young woman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“See! You guys don’t fear or even respect me!” She rolls the letter back up and points it accusingly at the masses.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Someone saunters up to her, a confused look on his face “Why is it so bad that we stay? We’re not hurting anyone.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A loud hum of agreement rises up and Jeongyeon clears her throat loudly “This is bad because if everyone stays on earth then there are less ghosts up there,” She points towards the ceiling and the ghosts follow her finger “and that means less can be reincarnated! This means there are less people being born!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So please stop being selfish and just go up, heaven is great from what I hear. Treat it as a vacation!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>An elderly woman shuffles forward, hobbling on her cane “It’s not as easy as you’re making it sound like.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Shaman groans, swiping her hand down her face as her shoulders sag “What’s so hard about going? You just need to relax, and it’ll happen! You saw what happened to Seungjae, it’s painless!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Someone else shouts out “It’s not about it being painful! It’s just…well it’s not easy to leave your family behind. We know we’re dead, but we can’t just <em>go </em>if it means leaving them forever. At least when we linger, we can check up on them.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The crowd agrees, looking at the offerings “This is the only way we get to interact with them, dying is already sad enough. Can’t you have some sympathy for us?” Jeongyeon bristles slightly, a little shocked that she was painted as the bad guy but the downcast look on the ghosts’ faces deflates her and she dismisses them wearily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Alright, alright you guys win. Just go to bed already, I’ll have to clean this place up in a while.” And the crowd dissipates instantly, excited for the second day of visitation where the temple would invite performers to put on a show for the dead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jeongyeon walks over to flick off the lights.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Night Sana, sleep early okay?” Yeonjung yawns and she travels back to her urn, leaving the atrium silent again. Sana walks back to her designated spot, and slides down, staring at her portrait.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The last of the candles burnt out, leaving a waxy mess on the altar and casting the prayer room in total darkness, where moonlight cannot reach, and Sana feels impossibly <em>alone</em>.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>A pack of skittles was thrown onto the altar and Sana brightens up at the grumpy face of the Shaman, happy that the older woman didn’t forget her promise as Jeongyeon sets up some incense in front of it, lighting them up and the glow of the flame casts a shadow on the Shaman’s face. She utters quick prayer before stepping aside and Sana helps herself to the candy, smiling widely as she picks out her favourite colour and popping it in.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What have you been thinking about?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hmfph?” Sana looks up, cheeks full of candy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Shaman gestures to her forehead “Your brows are all wrinkled up, like you’re in deep thought.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana reaches out to prod at her forehead, pushing her eyebrows apart. “Wow I didn’t even notice that I do this! Do you think they do Botox injections for ghosts?” She jests and Jeongyeon swipes at her in irritation, hand going through her body and the Shaman shivers at the cooling sensation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jeongyeon pulls her hand back and shuffles her feet awkwardly “Can you be serious for once? It just doesn’t feel right to see you so…<em>quiet</em>.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Struck dumb by the sudden remark, Sana’s mouth drops open and a skittle falls out. Jeongyeon’s face screws up in disgust at the disgusting action and her fingers itches, wanting to clean that up right away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana takes a step towards Jeongyeon and the older woman takes a step back. A step forward, a step back. Until they made it all the way to the back of the atrium and Jeongyeon is cornered. The ghost holds out a hand, doing a grabbing motion before softly cooing “Aww you care about me!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I do <em>not</em>!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You do! Oh my God, you <em>love </em>me!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Abandoning the candy, Sana leaps over to the Shaman’s side and tries to cuddle up to her, puckering up her lips and only relenting when Jeongyeon brandishes her mudang threateningly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The swaying of the bells makes her head spin and Sana stumbles in place before she clutches at it. The egg sushi and candy she just ate feels like coming back up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry! I said I’m sorry!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Shaman pockets her mudang but lets it stick out slightly as a warning and Sana takes three steps back as precaution.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I was just…thinking of my wife, that’s all.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ah, Momo?” A soft hum of acknowledgment and Jeongyeon smooths down her jacket, sliding down the wall and patting the space besides her and Sana happily accepts the invitation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“She never visits huh? I’m sorry for that.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>It’s going to be cold tonight </em>Sana thinks, <em>I hope Tzu-Tzu is all bundled up, she gets chilly easily.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, she has a life outside of me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Silence stretches out between the two of them and Jeongyeon shifts uncomfortably, not liking the despondent look on Sana’s face. She’ll never admit this, but she prefers when Sana is cheerful and smiling. It makes Joengyeon happy to see her happy.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The Shaman plays with the zipper on her jacket, intent on not making eye contact unless her face betrays her, and she starts blushing “I see…well is there something you’ll like to tell her? I can pass the message along if she decides to come by.” She offers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>That’s never going to happen </em>She thinks <em>Momo would never visit. She’s moved on. </em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“I just want to know-”</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She nearly says <em>Momo, do you still think about me as I do you? </em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She nearly says <em>Do you still have our promise ring, the one you swore never to take off?</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She nearly says <em>Do you still love me?</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>“…</em>if her socks are warm enough.” She says instead, eyes downcast, a million emotions conflicting.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“That’s it?” Jeongyeon questions, eyes wide with disbelief as she teases “Wow you’re so lame.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Autumn leaves scatters when she kicks at them, a sudden rush of glee surging in her.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Blue summer dress twirling in the wind and she throws off her wide brim straw hat before tilting her face towards the sun, feeling the warmth spreading in her as she spreads her arms wide, soaking up the rays greedily. She shouts and jumps about, spinning and spinning before a warm arm wraps around her waist, pulling her in and now she’s lying down, a hand running through her hair, coaxing her to sleep.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>A smile, a beautiful, gorgeous smile on Momo’s face as she looks down at Sana, gently cradling her like she’s something precious and Sana has never</em> <em>felt so loved, felt so </em>cherished<em>.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Gentle eyes roam her body, undisguised endearment spilling out over her, soaking her and she thinks ‘This is where I belong.’</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Fingers start tracing on her skin lightly as if afraid of hurting her and Sana giggles at the ticklish sensation before her heart stutters, stops and trills when she recognizes the characters.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Love.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>The word starts imprinting itself all over Sana’s body, marking her up and the sheer affection that courses through her veins electrifies wherever Momo touches. Every dip, every stroke, every curve sets Sana aflame and she </em>burns<em>.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Undeterred, the older woman gently writes the character on Sana’s nose, giving a small tap when she’s done and something in Sana sings when she sees the look in her eyes, sees a future for the two of them.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘It’s you’ She thinks ‘It’s you that I’ve been looking for.’</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>Momo writes tenderly, writes firmly, tracing out the broad strokes slowly as if pouring every ounce of fondness, trying too captured all the emotions that Sana inspires in her into the word, like if there was only </em>one<em> thing in the world that she was absolutely sure about, it was that she loves Sana.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>In return, Sana reaches up and cups Momo’s cheeks, a thumb swiping lovingly before she writes.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘It has and always will be you, won’t it?’ She thinks and somehow, she knows the answer, knows it deep in her. She feels it every time Momo touches her.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Her heart guides her fingers as she carefully traces out her words. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo sits still, afraid of breaking the moment, eyes fluttering close at the tender caress and her heart swells when Sana finishes. The younger woman’s hand drops down to cup her jaw and Momo turns her head to press a soft kiss on it, lips lingering, and Sana feels a jolt shoot up her spine as her eyes locked onto Sana’s.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A promise of forever.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She may not be a doctor, saving lives daily or a detective, solving crimes nor was she a superhuman, helping those in need. She was merely human. There are plenty that she cannot do. She may not be able to carve Momo’s name onto a mountain or conquer a planet for her. But giving Momo the happiness she deserves? Loving her the best way she knows?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>That she can. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>That she </em>will.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Sana blinks and the images fade away, taking away the warmth that accompanies her vision of Momo, leaving a hole in its wake.<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Empty.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo. Momo. Momo.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah…I’m pretty boring actually.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The room suddenly lights up in a bright flash before thunder boomed, rattling the wooden windowpanes and Sana feels terror gripping at her. The slow crawl of ice creeping up her and she instinctively runs away, feeling as if she was running through quicksand.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hide. I have to hide.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Scrambling to find a safe spot she can huddle under, clasping her hands over her ears and covering her eyes, flinching when she can still see the warning gleam of lightning even behind her eyelids. She can almost feel the sticky wetness of rain clinging onto her skin, soaking her to the bone. She could smell the tang of electricity mingling in the air and her heart jumps in time with another roar of thunder.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo, I need Momo. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A tug, yanking her slightly and Sana resists, staying put. And then another and another and before long Sana feels as though she’s being pulled at all directions as her soul searches for its other half. Her skin prickles like she’s being jabbed with needles. Her hand grasp onto nothing, reaching for the person who wasn’t there beside her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>I need her, I need her. </em>The thunder sounding like a soft drumming compared to the way her body screams for the comforting embrace of her wife. She wraps her arms around her knees, hugging herself and it feels lacking. She longs for the touch of her wife, the way she’ll hold her close, hold her tight.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“It’s okay Sana, there’s no need to be afraid. I’ll protect you” Momo whispers into her ear as Sana jumps from another lightning strike, squirming in Momo’s embrace. The older woman pulls their blanket over them, covering Sana as she tucks her in. Sana finds herself position right above her wife’s heart and she focuses on the steady rhythm. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ba-bump Ba-bump Ba-bump</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The soothing beat distracts Sana and she nestles closer and Momo runs her hands up and down the younger woman’s back and Momo cups one of Sana’s ears with her hand, muffling the peal of thunder. She feels a kiss on the crown of her head and her eyes droop.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I’ll take care of you.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The air in the room seems oppressing, choking her with every breath she takes. A sudden heaviness crushing her. This isn’t where she’s supposed to be. This isn’t right.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo. Momo. Momo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Jeongyeon’s face looms before her and she shrieks, reflectively throwing herself deeper into her tight corner as she scurries away, squeezing herself deeper that she phases slightly out, and she feels the biting chill of the storm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo. Momo. Momo.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey! Hey, it’s okay. It’s just me.” The Shaman moves to sit beside Sana, but the younger woman wiggles away, almost repulsed by the foreign presence. Her mind shouting that Jeongyeon isn’t Momo and she <em>needs </em>Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A whimper breaks out of her, broken and jagged and Jeongyeon flinches back, startled by the wounded sound and she looks lost, unsure of what to do. She’s never seen that look on Sana’s face and she finds that she absolutely despises it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So, she sets herself back down, opposite of Sana where their feet could almost touch but far away enough that the younger woman wouldn’t feel stifled.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m here Sana, it’s okay. I’m here.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sana really loves Momo, SaMo soulmates!</p><p>This is more of a Sana-centric chapter, hope you won't be disappointed with that &gt;&lt;</p><p>I wish I could hit the 'Like' button on your comments :D and thank you so much for leaving feedback! I really appreciate and love reading them. Please let me know how I did with this one!</p><p>For those who are kinda shy or don't have an ao3 account to comment with <a href="https://curiouscat.qa/wotdahheck">Here is my CuriousCat, feel free to chat</a></p><p>Also, please check my friends' out!!!</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://twiceinadream.tumblr.com/post/187621611495/rules">They make great reactions for Twice and I really like it</a></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/myouimia">My other friend writes too and the latest Mimo one is really sad, please check it out</a></p><p> </p><p>Hope you guys like this chapter, see you next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>The world brightens momentarily before a loud crash and the piercing wail of the car alarm startles Momo awake and she groans when she stretches, sighing at the satisfying pop. Rubbing her eyes, she gropes around her nightstand for her lamp and flicks it on, the dim glow cast across the room and she steps out of bed, sliding on her fluffy slippers before shuffling towards the window, pulling back the curtain.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Due to the heavy downpour, Momo had to press her face right onto the glass panel, cupping her hands around her eyes before she could see past the blinding rush of rain droplets and she winces when she notices a few uprooted trees that are currently obstructing the road and some damaged car hoods. Her breath misting onto the window when she sighs heavily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Damn…how am I supposed to get to work tomorrow?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Just the thought of having to hold an umbrella annoys Momo, the officer preferring to have her hands empty so she could grab a cup of bubble tea and a cronut for breakfast. She briefly weighs the possibility of just running through the rain and if she was lucky, she’ll just get a little wet. But then again, Mina would be mad if she got sick.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And she’s absolutely terrified of an angry Mina.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A warning flash of lightning cuts through her thoughts and her body reacts instinctively, diving back into her bed as she curls around the slumbering figure next to her, pulling the blanket burrito flushed against herself and cupping her hands over the figure’s ears as she braces for the inevitable roar of thunder.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She listens closely for any distressing cries and relaxes when she can only hear the low rumbling of thunder.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Good, Tzuyu is still asleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Mmm...Momoring?" Mina whispers out sleepily, rubbing her eyes at the sudden hug as she snuggles in deeper, breathing in the clean scent of her girlfriend. Just then a loud boom rung out and the pictures hung up on the wall shudder slightly, threatening to swing out of place.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo jolts in bed, still huddling around Mina as she turns her head towards her chest, holding Mina in a protective embrace. “It’s okay, I’m here.” She whispers continuously, patting Mina’s head, still covering her ears with one of her head and forcing the younger woman closer towards her. Momo curls one shoulder inwards, shielding Mina from the zig-zag patterns of lightning zipping across the sky.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Its okay, don’t be scared. I’m here, I’ll protect you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Baby, I'm not scared of thunderstorms." Mina giggled in Momo's arms, feeling nice and warm as well as touched that her girlfriend had thoughtfully tried to comfort her. She peeks out cutely at Momo, leaning forward to plant a kiss against her girlfriend’s throat and Momo swallows reflectively.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo's thoughts went silent almost immediately and a strange static buzz seem to fill her ears as her fingers twitched, almost repulsed and her body pulls itself away. Just slightly, leaving a silver of space between the two women.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t notice her reaction as she stares down at a delighted Mina smiling drowsily at her. The younger Japanese cuddles closer to Momo, closing the gap without a thought and she sighs happily. Momo mindlessly pulls up the blanket over Mina, rubbing up and down her back in a soothing fashion.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina isn't scared of thunderstorms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She's holding <em>Mina</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. Sana. Sana.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo’s heart nearly lurches out of her chest at the realization.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What was she doing?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina’s face smooths out as she falls back to sleep and Momo feels numb.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lightning danced across the sky and lights up Mina’s face, further confirming that it’s not Sana she’s holding and Momo feels sick. Something crawls under her skin, prodding and scratching inside her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Mina.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina loves falling asleep to the sound of the rain beating down on their window, saying that it soothes her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina who doesn’t even flinch when a thunderclap threatens to nearly deafen them, merely turning over to bury her face into the crook of Momo’s neck.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Not Sana.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her Sana had been terrified of storms ever since she was accidentally locked out of her house during one as a child. Sana had crawled under a slide at the playground and huddled there, holding her head and crying as lightning streaked across the sky, illuminating her tear stained face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>PAST</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo had been returning from the dance academy, dressed in her favourite pink raincoat as she danced and hopped into rain puddles, twirling her little umbrella around. She pretends she is dancing on the world’s stage and that the lightning was just fancy fireworks and she strikes poses and leaps onto rain puddles, splashing them noisily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A small figure lying under the elephant slide jumps a little when thunder grumbled and Momo hurried over, thinking it was a puppy only to groan in disappointment when she realized it was just her best friend huddling under there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Thinking that Sana was playing a game of hide and seek, Momo turned away, not wanting to bother with the other girl and was about to continue her way home, worried that her lunch-<em>Teriyaki chicken!</em>-would get cold when she hears a light sniffle. Sana burying her face into the crook of her elbow, petrified when she hears the familiar boom of thunder and she tries to make herself smaller.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Now a little worried, she slowly waddled over, feet splashing on rain puddles and soaking the other girl a little before poking the other girl using her umbrella and Sana screams, jerking hack and falling on her butt while Momo stares at her confusedly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"...Hi?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana opens her mouth to answer but was cut off by the sudden discharge of lightning striking a tree near them and the instant blaze that erupts scares her, curling up into herself. Sana starts crying even harder, snot dripping down as she cries for her mother to help her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her world was suddenly engulfed in darkness when Momo pulls Sana into herself, wrapping the raincoat around the younger girl. Momo had squeezed herself under the slide and opened her frog umbrella, placing it outwards like a shield.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"It’s okay, I’m here!" Raincoat girl declares, rubbing Sana's head slowly in a comforting rhythm before dropping down to Sana’s cheeks and squishing them together.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“W-Wha” She tries to speak as the older girl starts tugging at her face, pinching and stretching and Sana whines in discomfort before the older girl drops her hands to her ears, muffling the roaring of thunder. Raincoat girl pulls a face, sticking out her tongue and rolling her eyes and the younger girl laughs when she sees how ugly the faces are.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"It’s okay, this is magic," she wiggles her coat slightly, messing up Sana’s hair and a sharp jolt of static stings Momo and she yelps, showing off the sailor moon logo at the front "i-it, ow, will protect us!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Distracted by the other girl’s antics, Sana didn’t even realize that she had stopped crying. She squirms a little, uncomfortable at being so squished up against each other.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Raincoat girl then sneezes hard, head jerking forward from the force and her hood falls off, revealing cute pigtails with sparkly Hello Kitty clips.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Normally Sana would have pushed the girl away, ‘Stranger Danger’ flashing in her mind and her mama had said not to talk to weird people but at this very moment, Sana finds that she can’t move as she locks eyes with the other girl, fascinated by the stray eyelash that sticks onto her pudgy cheeks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>This is Momo, Sana realizes, who turned down her invitation for a tea party yesterday, ignoring Sana's repeatedly attempts to hang out because she was tired of always being the prince to Sana’s princess and wanted to play Doctors instead, leaving the younger girl with her stuffed toys and feeling lonely.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Never one to be able to resist Sana’s potent puppy eyes, Momo would drag her out of her sad bubble and invite her over to play, letting Sana choose one-<em>only one</em>-of her beloved plushies to cuddle.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Of course, Sana always chooses to hug Momo instead, whining when the older girl shoves her cold feet into Sana’s tummy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana has had twenty-eight birthday parties (even though it wasn’t really her birthday!) in just two months and Momo never once showed up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This was Momo, who always walks at least three steps ahead of her when they went to pre-school last year and she never likes sitting next to Sana on the little bus to school because the younger girl talks too much in the morning when Momo prefers to snooze a little more.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Now that she thinks about it this is probably the first time Momo has ever hugged her, has ever initiated any type of physical affection. Usually Sana was the hugger and Momo the reluctant participant, standing there awkwardly while the younger girl hung off her like a Koala.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The two of them had grew up side by side and Sana had never known what was life before Momo. Every single memory she has included the older girl in some shape or form. Her first steps? Momo was sitting on the floor and looking at her thoughtlessly. The zoo trips her family went on? She was holding Momo’s hand. Her first dentist visit? She was bawling with Momo hiding behind her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It has <em>always</em> been Momo and Sana, as it should be.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sure, there was also Hana who was the coolest older girl in their town (She can skateboard!) but it was really Momo that Sana wanted.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hana had been lovely and kind to her, giving cookies to Sana whenever the younger girl pokes her head through the garden fence separating the two houses but Momo always gave a rather confused look when she sees Sana frantically waving at her and she opens her arms, welcoming the oncoming hug attack Sana was about to launch and the two children would topple over.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was Momo that Sana likes the most. That awkward tiny girl who loves to dance and eat. Who cried for days when her sister accidentally melted off her barbie’s hair. Who can’t sleep in total darkness without the little nightlight that Sana got her for her third birthday (Her mama chose it but <em>still</em> it was from Sana, it says so on the wrapper!) And Sana will not have her any other way.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her mama had asked why she seems to like Momo so much, but she didn’t really have an answer besides “Momo is nice to hug!”. She knows the reason is deeper than that, but she doesn’t know how to express herself, her vocabulary is still very limited and she doesn’t even know if there exist a word that can sum up all these emotions raging in her when Momo smiles and waves at her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There’s this thing in her that wakes up and reaches out for Momo whenever she’s near her, contentment spreading all over her when Momo is holding her hand.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As it should be.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>According to her parents, Sana had always clung to Momo when the older girl had visited even when they were just babies, crying whenever the Hirais would leave and only stopping when she’s placed next to Momo on the playmat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tantrums were thrown whenever Momo had to leave. Sana doesn’t remember that though.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana’s first word had even been <em>Momo</em>, surprising her mother and crushing her father’s pride all at once and he angrily dumps the bunny ears her had been wearing, trying to prompt Sana into calling for him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had tried staring into Momo's window through her bedroom at six in the morning, waiting impatiently for her to wake up while holding her teddy bear and waving its paw happily to greet Momo in the morning only for the other girl to squint grumpily before pulling the curtains close, blocking Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Morning greeting had been a fail so she moved on to Plan B, sticking her tongue out in concentration as she holds her marker in a vice-grip, carefully scrawling with the best penmanship a five-year-old can muster and sticking it onto her window in full view.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Gud Moning Momo :D</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She even placed extra effort by pouring glitter all over her paper, written in pink just as Momo likes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo stuck her tongue out at Sana when she read it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But she did wait impatiently for Sana outside her house, skipping on the hopscotch boxes as Sana kisses her mama goodbye and held Sana’s hand when they boarded the bus, letting Sana have the window seat as they wave goodbye to their parents.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It had always been that way, Momo <em>and</em> Sana. The elders in their town would regard the two of them as a package deal. Where one was, the other is surely close by.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Once Sana had gotten really sick after falling into a river and was bedridden with a high fever and the flu, missing Momo’s birthday party. The older girl had been really disappointed when she heard Sana wouldn’t be joining the celebration, cutting a huge slice of cake and sliding it over to Mrs Minatozaki, asking for that to be given to her best friend.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The four-year-old had sulked when her mama fed her the bitter medicine, begging to just pop by Momo’s house for a little while. Her mama tuts and scoops another mouthful of the brown liquid and urges Sana to open her mouth, praising her when the girl swallows. She eyes the delicious slice of cake and wishes she was eating that instead. Momo had given her the slice with the Hamtaro chocolate figurine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mama,” She tries, throat feeling like she has a mouthful of sand stuck in there “Just a little while?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her mama picks up the wet towel and gently dabs across Sana’s forehead, wiping away the sweat pooling there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sa-chan, you know you can’t go over. Do you want to make Momo-chan sick? You wouldn’t want that would you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kicking at her blankets petulantly, Sana slumps over in resignation as she takes another mouthful. That was true, she definitely doesn’t want Momo to get sick, but she can’t help but keep looking longingly through her windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of her best friend.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The doorbell rings once, a cheerful tune humming before being cut short as someone rings the bell incessantly. The melody feels like someone I sdriving a hammer down at her skull and Sana winces, clutching at her head. Her mama places down the bowl on the table next to the bed, quirking an eyebrow in confusion and faint annoyance.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be right back.” She fluffs up the pillows and sets Sana back comfortably.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Once her mama was out of sight, Sana quickly scoops up some of the brown liquid and pours it into the cactus pot, whispering an apology for the bitterness the plant would taste.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She only manages to pour away four spoonfuls when her mama reappears, pushing the door opening with a smile on her face as Sana fumbles to put the spoon back and pretending she wasn’t up to no good.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo’s head pops out from behind the door, waving at Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“M-Momo?” Her voice came out nasally and broken. She sniffs loudly, trying to clear the congested airways.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hi!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo toddles over, climbing onto her bed with difficulty and the older Minatozaki helped, carrying her up and Sana notices the big paper bag the other girl was lugging about.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sees the question in Sana’s eyes and grins, pouring out the contents in the bag and gift packages in all sizes tumbled out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You sound funny.” Momo teases, poking Sana’s cheeks and her fingers felt cool against the younger girl’s scorching skin, a temporary relief.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Question marks start popping up over Sana’s head as she stares quizzically at the birthday girl who spreads out the gifts happily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Help me?” Momo pushes one of her bigger boxes into Sana’s arms before clumsily tearing into a smaller one, the size of a book. She sighs when she sees that she had gotten a mathematics workbook and throws it back into the paper bag before opening another one.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her fingers start tugging at the edges of the tape binding the wrapping together and Sana asks “Why are you here? I’m sick.” before Momo looks at her in confusion as if she doesn’t know why Sana would ask something like that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s my birthday?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana pushes on “I’m sick Momo.” She points to the cooling gel taped to her forehead as evidence.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older girl continues unwrapping her gifts as if she didn’t hear Sana and the younger girl gives up, picking at the wrapper, trying not to tear the cute packaging when her friend speaks softly, voice so low that she only managed to hear it because they’re sitting so close.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I know. But I want you next to me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was said bluntly and Momo hadn’t even glance at Sana when she said it, but Sana’s heart swelled all the same and it physically hurt to look at Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The urge to glomp her was strong but she <em>really</em> doesn’t want Momo to be sick.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her fingers start shaking from the surprise and pure happiness buzzing through her and she couldn’t control the smile spreading across her face.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>She unwraps a Gameboy and she smacks Momo’s arms enthusiastically, shoving the toy in front of her best friend and watches as Momo’s face changes from confusion to shock and finally to glee.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>It was funny how just one name can trigger so many feelings in her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older girl wiggles her way under Sana’s blanket and props up right next to her, squishing her cheeks against Sana’s as she boots up the Gameboy. Momo starts rambling about the characters, showing off the one she chose to her best friend, but Sana can’t tear her eyes away from the older girl, watching the way the different graphics colours dance across her skin and Sana swears Momo <em>glows</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Look! Isn’t she pretty?” Momo points to the main character and her smile falters when Sana stares steadily at her and not at the screen. She feels a little annoyed when Sana just keep looking at her so dazedly and not at the magical girl twirling on the loading screen.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sana…?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Yeah.” She leans her head on Momo’s shoulders, making herself comfortable as the older girl taps frantically on her buttons, starting a new game.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana falls asleep cuddled up against her best friend, feeling safe and warm and her head doesn’t hurt as much.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo caught Sana’s cold the very next day.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana shivers from the chill and feels her nose running and she accidentally smears some of it on Momo’s shirt. The older girl ignores it, hugging Sana even closer, trying to warm her up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay. It’s okay.” She reassures, patting Sana’s back and tightening her grip when the younger girl jolts from a loud boom. She covers Sana’s ears with her hands but notices that it wasn’t really muffling the thunderclaps.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Eyebrows pinched in thought before nodding to herself. She opens her mouth and starts to sing shakily, starting out soft and slowly gaining momentum.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And Sana listens.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her voice was soft and sweet, like the cotton candy her mama always buys for her during the summer carnival. It felt like she had been teleported back into her papa’s arms as he places her on top of his shoulders and Sana waits eagerly for the start of the fireworks event.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The loud cracking scares her every time but her papa would just laugh as he places one hand at the back of his daughter’s back, steadying her. But the moment the firework flies out and explodes into a myriad of colours Sana would be mesmerized.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Something stirs in Sana’s heart as she stares at the adorable frown on Momo’s face when she tries to remember her made up lyrics. Something starts to whisper in her, a low mumbling nagging at her but Sana couldn’t really catch what it was saying, too focused on Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This feels familiar for some reason, but Sana doesn’t know why because Momo has never held her like this before.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The whispering gets a little louder and something swirls in her head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She feels safe.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>Momo jumps when the lightning comes a little too close for comfort but still, she holds onto Sana, protecting her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>This is Momo, her best friend.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But she can’t shake off this feeling of familiarity.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana doesn’t know how to explain it, but it feels like one of papa’s hugs when he comes home from a long day at work. Feels like huddling under a warm blanket during a chilly night.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It feels like this is where she’s meant to be.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo presses her hands harder against Sana when a particularly loud boom rings through the sky and she sings louder. She sings of rainbows, puppies and ballerina cats; she sings of the moon and the stars. She sings of onigiri and all its delicious flavours, stumbling over some words and hesitating as she repeats it, confused on the pronunciation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And Sana finds that suddenly all she can think of is Momo, think of the warmth that surrounds her and the sweet scent of baby powder that accompanies Momo, think about the way Momo’s hair curls a little at the bottom, framing her face perfectly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Thinks about Momo, the storm feeling like it’s a mile away as the older girl holds onto her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>She smells nice </em>Sana thinks, snuggling closer and resting her cheek on the older girl’s shoulder. Momo pulls her raincoat over them, covering Sana’s face so she can’t see the scary lightning.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She feels really warm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana briefly thinks about asking Momo if she’s willing to be her pillow.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older girl’s voice breaks on a particularly high note and she flushes, embarrassed. But Sana doesn’t notice, gently nudging Momo with her nose, encouraging her to continue even humming a melody and Momo perks up, body moving as she sings again.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Sana finds that she <em>really </em>likes being held by Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Time seems to fly by as Momo sings and she has run out of songs by now, just retelling her day at the dance academy to a sleepy Sana who listens attentively. She talks about the pretty pink costumes that the academy would be dressing the girls up in, talks about the cool dance move she mastered. (She’s the first to do so too! Sana is so proud)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo offhandedly mentions that the string of the yo-yo Yuta gave her snapped and Sana couldn’t help the smugness rolling through her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She doesn't know how long the two of them had been outside, only barely hearing the shriek her mama let out when she realizes Sana was missing and the two girls were whisked into her house pronto, Mrs Minatozaki frantically drying the both of them before sending them to take a hot bath.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her hand automatically searches for Momo’s and finds the older girl’s waiting. Momo doesn’t even look as she loops her fingers over Sana’s and she holds on tight, engulfing the younger girl’s.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo. Momo. Momo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>A pleasant sing song voice starts echoing in her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>She finds out that Momo has a mole on her nose, a cute little dot and Sana couldn't stop herself from placing a kiss there, feeling a slight ache in her heart-<em>why does it hurt</em>-when Momo pushed her away, nose crinkled up in disgust.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Why?" The older girl questions, cupping her nose to protect it from unwanted kiss attacks. She takes it one step further by scooting up against the bathtub, placing a good distance between the two girls.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana doesn't know why, she just felt like it was what she should do.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mama had said that she should only kiss those that she loves. That’s why mama and papa kiss her, because they love her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But why does she want to kiss <em>Momo</em>?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo who was <em>so</em> mean.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She ignored the candy she offered her yesterday, walking past her at school and talking with Izumi instead of Sana. There was so much she wanted to share with Momo, including the crazy dream she had last night where Momo and her were pirates on the moon! But Momo had stuck by Izumi until they reached the kindergarten and Sana trudges on in silence, waiting for Momo to be done with her conversation and make time for Sana again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t get a chance to share her story because Momo invited Izumi over for a sleepover that day.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Watching the glowing lights from the bedroom next door as Izumi makes shadow puppets makes Sana feel a little sick. Hiding under her blanket with her teddy didn’t make her feel any better and she wishes she was with Momo as well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Who didn’t want to sit next to her in class, choosing Yuta as her buddy instead and Sana had to be paired with the teacher again cause no one wanted to be her buddy. Sana looks on sadly at Momo’s table, hearing the familiar shrill dolphin like laughter as Yuta shows off a yo-yo trick and Momo claps in delight.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hmph, what’s the big deal? Sana can do yo-yo tricks too! She walks up to Yuta and asked to borrow his toy before attempting to show off for Momo only to get hit in the head when she tries to do ‘Around the world’.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yuta snorts and Sana has never felt so embarrassed in her life, handing back the yo-yo before running back to the teacher, sitting down and hiding her face in her arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The teacher gave her an extra sticker to cheer her up, but it doesn’t make her happy. Not when Momo looks so excited as she tries a trick that Yuta showed her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana <em>hates </em>yo-yos ever since.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>During one class activity where the teacher asked the students to write down who was their best friend, Sana had eagerly picked all the pink markers in the stationary box with bottles of glue and glitter. She carefully writes out Momo’s name, turning the Os into hearts and she pulls out a sheet of holographic stickers that her grandpa bought her from her bag, pasting them all over her paper.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Drawing a small stick figure of herself at the bottom of the page, she sits back and beams at her project, feeling pleased with how sparkly it looks. She wagers it’s the best looking one out of the whole class.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Of course it’s the prettiest because Momo is her <em>bestest </em>friend in the whole wide world!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana wonders how Momo has decorated her's and kicks her feet excitedly, wishing to see it immediately but her mama has said good things happen to those who wait so she would wait. But she can’t help the way her legs jiggles when the teacher signals everyone to stop drawing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Heart beating a mile a minute, Sana struggles to sit still. She can’t wait to see how Momo wrote her name. Her mind races, going through the endless possibilities and she squeals, quietening when the teacher shushes her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When it was time to present, half the class chose Momo as their best friend and Momo smiles widely, happily accepting the artworks and Sana deflates a little. Suddenly her project doesn’t seem so special anymore. One of the stickers peels off and drifts to the floor and Momo steps on it unknowingly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana feels her heart pinch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Whatchu got there?” The older girl questions and Sana hastily slides the paper behind her back, hiding it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Nothing…”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo tilts her head sideways in confusion before shrugging and hopped off to the front of the classroom, swaying on her feet as she holds her artwork, showing it off.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana peeks out, tiptoeing when one of her classmate’s tower over her and obstructing her view. Huffing when the boy just won’t move, Sana wiggles under him and pops out to the front, eyes wide.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The light bounces off the sparkles decorating the paper as a messily cut out of a flower threatens to fall off. <em>HIROMI </em>was scribbled in all the rainbow, painstakingly crafted and Momo grins proudly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“My best friend is Hiromi!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Oh.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo chose someone else as her best friend.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her heart drops to her stomach.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A loud squeal erupts from the girl next to her as she runs to Momo, happily accepting the offered paper and Sana thinks about her own artwork, the name she had lovingly crafted.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Thinks about how maybe she isn’t as special to Momo as she initially thought she was.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sana? You’re next honey, come on.” The teacher encourages and Sana walks up slowly, each step feeling heavy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…My bestest friend is Momo.” She shows her work unenthusiastically and Momo grins toothily, accepting it before placing it on top of the other papers given to her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana doesn’t know how to feel when she notices how thick the stack looks. Doesn’t know how to feel about the fact that Momo is her best friend but she isn’t Momo’s.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>No one nominated her as their best friend, but Sana doesn’t care about anyone else.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To be honest, she doesn’t know why she feels so upset that day. Even her grandma visiting didn’t lift her spirits and her mind keeps going back to the smile on Momo’s face when she declares Hiromi her best friend.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Poking at her bowl of red bean soup, all she can think about is that Momo would love how sweet this is.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t know why.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The very next day on their way to school, Momo had ran up to her as she hugged her mama goodbye and slid a small packet of misshapen cookie into her palm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The cookie was already beginning the crumble and whoever molded it did a <em>really </em>bad job since it looks like one big blob. But upon closer inspection she made out the words the cookie was supposed to display.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Her name.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Do you like it?” Momo asks nervously, shifting her weight from one foot to another “I made it with mommy, but was hard.” She wiggles her fingers and Sana notices a little bear band-aid wrapped against her pinky “Couldn’t squish it properly!” Momo complains, stomping her foot.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo got hurt making this for her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana feels like crying.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hiromi is my best friend,” Momo says matter-of-factly and Sana’s heart constricts, thorns digging in painfully “but Sana is my <em>bestest bestest </em>friend ever!” She then nudges the cookie and a chunk chips off “So I needed to give you something different!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The barb wire twining around her heart disappears and Sana <em>breathes</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…I love it Momo. I love it so much.” She holds the cookie gently in her hands and Momo beams, holding her hand out for Sana to latch onto.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The moment their hands touch Sana swears her heart inflates to twice its size with the amount of adoration she holds for the other girl.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana doesn’t eat the cookie, keeping it safe by her bedside. The crumbly dessert looking prettier and more precious the more she looks at it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>It should be displayed in an art museum </em>She thinks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She cries when her papa ate it accidentally, thinking his daughter made it in school.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Also, there was the time where Momo took the pink crayon that she was using, returning it only when drawing classes were over so Sana couldn’t colour anymore. Sana had just let her, watching over her friend’s shoulder at the cute barbie she was drawing as she waits for her turn with the crayon and Momo had given it back apologetically when the bell rang and Sana can’t find it in herself to be mad.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s <em>impossible</em> for her to be mad at Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She looks on at the drawing that she made of her and Momo holding hands outside a castle with Mickey mouse next to them. <em>Di</em><em>Ƨney</em> written above them in cloud patterns. She wanted to gift it to the older girl but now she can’t because it’s not finished.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maybe tomorrow then.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana pouts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Animal crackers were a favourite among the two girls and she <em>always</em> share with Sana, saving all the Koalas for Sana because the younger girl likes that the most. Momo would hold her hand every time they had a class excursion because she knows Sana hates being alone. The younger girl has always been a rather slow walker, lagging behind and her buddies would just ditch her. But not Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Never her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hands held out by her side, Momo would always wait patiently for the younger girl to catch up and Sana would hold on instinctively, their hands finding each other’s without a second thought. Like there were magnets guiding them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As easy as breathing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Honestly Sana can’t remember a time where she isn’t holding hands with Momo. Can’t remember a time where she isn’t <em>with </em>Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo who has the coolest stickers and lets Sana choose some of it for herself. She never uses the stickers, keeping them safe in a little scrapbook her papa got for her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo who didn’t get mad when Sana wanted to play hairdresser and accidentally shaved a chunk off the older girl’s head with her papa’s shaver. The younger girl had cried at the bald spot that she created, trying desperately to stick the fallen strands back but Momo had simply said this was a good chance to wear the new beanie her mommy got her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(She didn’t even like wearing hats but the relieved look on Sana’s face as she hiccupped “Weally?” convinced Momo that she was making the right choice. She still thinks it was the right thing to do even when her mommy screamed when she noticed the bald patch.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When they were younger, Sana had once accidentally peed herself when a sudden storm cut off the electricity in their preschool, scaring the younger girl because she had a nightmare yesterday. The other pre-schoolers had pointed at her and laughed, nicknaming her ‘Stinky’ and drove Sana to tears with their teasing. Even when the teacher tried intervening the other kids wouldn’t stop. They even made up a game similar to Tag but whoever Sana touched was ‘it’.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Making sure that she has at least taken three baths before school didn’t make anything better, the others still pinching their noses with their fingers when they were around her and saying ‘Ewww!’. During naptime only Momo was brave enough to cuddle close to Sana, the others huddling away from the two.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pre-schoolers were harsh.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had been avoided like the plague for the rest of the year, the others screaming whenever she so much as stand next to them and only Momo had been there beside her, constantly reassuring her that her mommy had said it was okay as it was an accident, that Sana was still a baby and she wasn’t stinky.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even when Momo had been ostracized simply by association to Sana, the older girl still stayed, waddling over to Sana and sitting with her during playtime and was always holding her hands. Momo hadn’t been very good with words seeing as she was only three, but her presence had comforted Sana immensely.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She discovers that being an outcast really wasn’t so bad, not when she had Momo with her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Thankfully things changed when they moved on to kindergarten, the mean students forgetting about the unfortunate accident, but Sana will <em>never</em> forget how Momo stood by her in her own cute little way of showing support. The older girl claims that she doesn't really remember their younger years but it's okay, Sana can remember for the both of them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo who never laughed at her when she cried after falling off the swing, instead hugging her close. She held her hand as the doctor washed the wound with saline and Sana winces loudly, climbing onto her best friend’s lap and cowering there. Usually she would have burst into tears even before the doctor had touched her, but Momo makes her feel brave.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older girl who always comforts her, who was gentle. Making Sana feel so safe.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Always popping up whenever Sana is in trouble, protecting her. Momo who pushed Kenji away from Sana when he tried snatching her toys away. She stood tall even if Kenji was at least a head taller, spreading her arms and preventing the boy from approaching again. Not taking the little girl seriously, the bully steps forward again and Momo delivers a punch straight to his nose and he wails.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As expected, Momo got into time-out and her parents were called down to the kindergarten as the older girl sat on the plastic chair, head hung low with guilt when she hears the low whispers between the adults, disapproving looks cast her way and Momo sinks into her seat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana had barged in with her mama and begged the principal to punish her with Momo. She had cried, clinging onto Momo and shaking her head in a firm ‘No!’ when the adults tried pulling her away and she hugs Momo fiercely when the principal relents, giving the girls the same punishment.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The two of them sat together outside the school field, banned from participating in class games for a week. It was warm and Sana sweats, fanning herself and Momo with a leaf she picked up on the ground as she nudges Momo’s feet with her and her best friend nudges back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Loud cheers ring throughout the field as their classmates run about before one of them topples and scrapes his knee. That day’s activity was jumping on a trampoline and playing basketball, Sana’s favourite playtime. But she wasn’t upset about missing it, not when Momo laughs cheerfully before tossing a bunch of pebbles she gathered in a poor attempt of juggling.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everything will be alright if she has Momo by her side.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her very own lucky charm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana had always wished for the same exact thing when it comes to her birthday. It doesn’t matter if it was her first, second or even hundredth birthday. She would clasp her hands together tightly as she squeezes her eyes shut, hoping the stars above can hear her request. She always tries to be a good girl so her wish can be granted, eating all her vegetables even if they were bitter and gooey.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>There were many things Sana wants such as the bunny plushie she saw at the store or the new melon flavoured ice cream bar. There are so many things she wants to try but there is only one thing she absolutely </em>needs<em>.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>From the moment she could talk, there has only been one thing that was a constant in her mind. Something that she always ponders about even when she goes to bed and the first thing she thinks of when she wakes up.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Something she doesn’t mind giving up all her desserts (even her grandma’s apple pies!) if it meant it would come true.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Taking a deep breath before blowing out her candles, she wishes ‘I want Momo forever’</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo in her pink raincoat, skipping in the rain. Singing out of tune as her pigtails bounces side to side. It was like a single ray of light in the dreary world.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana thinks she can do <em>anything </em>if Momo was by her side.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo. Momo. Momo.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana doesn't know exactly why she feels so excited whenever she thinks about her best friend.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She just knows she wants to be with Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Moguri..."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Huh?" Momo looks up and Sana smiles shyly, splashing some bathwater at Momo and the older girl splutters indignantly when some of it goes into her mouth.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She’s disappointed that the strawberry flavoured shampoo tastes <em>nothing </em>like real strawberries.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Your name, Moguri."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Nuh-uh! My name's Momo! M-O-M-O" she spells out, proud of herself and frowns when Sana shakes her head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She points at Momo, then back at herself "I'll call you Moguri"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Why?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Because everyone calls you Momo and I don’t want to be just anyone. I want to call you something that only I can, something that is only ours to share.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I want to call you by something special, a name as special as you are to me.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Because!" She boops Momo’s nose, right on the mole.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo frowns again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Why?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She doesn't know why. She really doesn’t.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I like sailor moon too." That caught Momo's attention, her frown fading to give way to awe and she scrambles forward in the tub, getting up into Sana's face, bumping their noses together hard and Sana winces.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo pushes on, splashing water from her frantic movements and the carpet beneath the tub is soaked. "Really?? Which is your favourite? I like Sailor Jupiter!" She strikes a pose, making weird sound effects and Sana snorts at how silly she looks, apologizing when Momo looks at her with a hurt expression.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana leans forward and gently touches her nose with Momo, nuzzling against the older girl and Momo goes cross-eyed trying to track Sana's movements.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I like the cat!" Sana curls her thumb and forefinger upwards and places it on her forehead, imitating a moon. She meows.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo whines and pulls away, pouting "I meant a girl! Who is your favourite girl?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Honestly? Sana doesn't know any sailor moon characters, skipping the channel when it comes on to watch animal documentary, preferring to pretend being a baby lion and roaring at her papa who growls playfully back at her or pretending to be a penguin and going between her mama’s legs, stepping on her feet as the older Minatozaki tries to move around with her daughter attached to her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She only knows the cat because it looked like the one she feeds at the playground after school.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But she can't possibly tell Momo that, not when the older girl had been staring at her with excitement sparkling in her eyes, not when she finally got Momo's undivided attention.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not when it’s her that’s making the older girl smile this big.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana finds that she really likes being the focus of Momo’s short attention span.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So instead she pulls her legs up, resting her chin in her knees and stares fondly at Momo who follows Sana's posture.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"You."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Huh?" Momo replies flabbergasted.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"You're my favourite girl."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana means it with every fibre of her being.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This is a fact, something so definite, so indisputable that Sana doesn’t even have to think when Momo asks that question, her heart already shouting the answer loud and clear.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo flings the rubber duckie at Sana's face, a sour look crossing her face before Mrs Minatozaki enters the bathroom, towels ready for the girls and asks if Momo would like to stay for dinner, saying that she had just phoned her mother to update her on the youngest Hirai’s whereabouts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana had snapped her head to look at Momo who stares at her mother blankly, contemplating. Mentally debating between Teriyaki chicken and whatever that’s smelling so nice in the kitchen right now.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Would you like to stay forever?</em> Was what Sana wanted to ask but for some reason she doesn't, choosing to just wait for Momo's answer eagerly, chin placed at the edge of the tub as her mama wipes the older girl down with a fluffy towel and she giggles when Momo’s hair sticks up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This was weird, Sana had never held her words back before, liking to freely say whatever was on her mind. Holding back the words that so desperately wishes to come out always makes the five-year-old feel like she’s about to burst.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>There is something she wishes to say but she doesn’t know how to put it in words. This burning itchy feeling in her that ignites whenever Momo smiles at her. Sana feels like shouting it to the world.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She's never liked someone so much before either. Not even Doraemon! And she loves Doraemon a lot, her bedsheets and pajamas as well as slippers are evidence of her love.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But Momo was different.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"...Okay" Momo finally replies, the delicious aroma tempting her, tummy rumbling in excitement and Sana smiles, feeling a familiar buzz travel throughout her body.  She feels as if she just ate a whole bag of chocolate and she doesn’t think she can sleep tonight.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But she didn't eat any candy, only having a taiyaki her mama bought her as a snack.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So why does she feel this way? Electricity rushing through her veins just from the way Momo shyly smiled back at Sana as Mrs Minatozaki dried her hair before slipping one of Sana's pajamas onto her, the shirt hanging a little too loosely on Momo’s smaller frame.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo. Momo. Momo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Sana doesn't know, she’s only five after all.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo holds out her hand and waits for Sana to grasp it, walking towards the kitchen where Mr Minatozaki is setting up the dishes. He smiles when he sees the two girls holding hands and looking close, happy that his daughter is smiling so widely. He knows how much the little Minatozaki likes Momo after all, always asking if she could come over to play.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana pulls Momo over, patting the chair in an unspoken request that she sit next to her, pleased when Momo follows without hesitation, wiggling onto her seat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sees the way Momo cutely clasped her hands together, saying “Thank you for the food!” before digging in, her face lighting up when the sweet curry melts into her mouth and she hurriedly scoops a few more mouthfuls in, smudging her face and Mrs Minatozaki laughs, pulling a few tissues to wipe it off.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Only, Sana had reacted faster, leaning over and wiping it off with her fingers and Momo gazes at her curiously and Sana's fingers tingle.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The whisper in her heart starts again, this time in a chant that grows in volume.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Something drips down her fingers and her nose wrinkles when she looks down at her hands, feeling how sticky they were.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her mama wipes her fingers, praising her for being so kind and Sana wonders if that was it. That she was just being kind to Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She looks back at Momo who notices that her chopstick had Pompomurin stuck on top and she gestures animatedly at it, rambling about her favourite Sanrio characters to Mr Minatozaki who entertains her, and Sana just watches.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana pushes her own spoon over, the cute Hamtaro character smiling at Momo and the older girl gasps in shock before holding the spoon gently in her hand and she frantically waves it at Sana, excited squeaks coming out of her instead of words.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo looks <em>so </em>happy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her tummy feels funny, like something was fluttering.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maybe the curry was too spicy?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana doesn't know and by now she is getting a little frustrated.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>This feeling was intense, like she can run a marathon and still have left over energy to dance. Something surges in her body, burning her up from within almost bursting from the seams with how excited she feels.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It makes her a little queasy to be honest but Sana finds that she doesn’t mind this feeling, not when she knows it’s Momo causing it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Satang!" Momo calls out and Sana looks at her wide eyed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Huh?" She replies dumbly and Momo smiles bashfully, eyes crinkling up at the side. A little bit of curry smeared at the side of her mouth.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana finds that she likes it, being the source of Momo's smiles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Satang...that's my name for you" Momo narrows her eyes "Cause you're my friend and…you look like Hamtaro!" Momo pushes her potato around her plate, covering it with curry and munching on it happily, totally oblivious to the way her words caused Sana's heart to do a triple somersault.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo. Momo. Momo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Being compared to Hamtaro was probably the best compliment anyone could have given her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She wants to hug Momo, her body already tugging her towards the older girl, and she wiggles her way onto the older girl’s lap, whining when her papa carries her away and depositing her on another seat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo scoops up a piece of carrot and she pulls a face, unwilling to place a vegetable in her mouth before she gets an idea, eyeing the basically-vibrating-on-the-spot Sana in front of her and Momo offers her the spoon. Sana automatically opens her mouth, chewing on the sweet piece of carrot, only made sweeter by the look of satisfaction on Momo's face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Reaching out to pat Sana like a puppy and Sana preens, an imaginary tail popping out behind her and wagging.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Cute.” Was what the older girl said, pinching Sana’s chubby cheeks before smiling.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Something tickles Sana’s heart.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She remember the worksheet her teacher had given them after career day, asking the kindergarteners what they would like to be when they grew up. Everyone had written fireman, police officer, teacher or even a doctor. Momo had wanted to be a space ballerina pirate who does karate which gave their teacher a laugh. But Sana's remains blank, unsure of what she would like to do.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But now she knows.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Smile. That’s it, that’s what she wants to do. To make Momo smile forever.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That was all Sana could think about.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The voice in her heart is quiet for once, probably thirsty from talking all day. Sana gingerly lifts her cup and knocks it against Momo’s before taking a sip from it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>She cried when Momo's mommy came to pick her up, clutching at the pink raincoat and begging Momo to stay only for her mama to untangle her from the older girl, reminding her that Momo only lives next door and that they’ll see each other in school next Monday.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana sniffles sadly and Momo pulls her into a hug before smacking her cheeks softly, wiping away the fat tear droplets rolling down.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"No tears" she reminds Sana sternly and Sana halts her sniffling. Momo nods happily before placing a kiss on Sana's cheek, a brief peck that ghosts against her skin.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"?!" Sana freezes on the spot, cupping a hand over her cheeks and she flushes so red she feels dizzy. An unspoken question in her inquiring gaze and the spot on her cheeks burns.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This was the first time Momo had ever kissed her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo shrugs "Mommy said people cry when they hurt and to make them stop you need to do magic," she points towards her puckered lips "kisses for healing!" Then she strikes another pose and she twirls on the spot before nudging Sana "See! No more tears!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana nods, still holding onto her cheek as if the kiss would fly away if she doesn’t guard it and Momo looks proudly to her mother for approval and she forces her way under her mother’s coat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mrs Hirai gently caresses her daughter’s head, complimenting her for a job well done before thanking the Minatozakis for their hospitality and she walks towards at the door, waiting for Momo to join.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She walks towards her mother, looks back at Sana uncertainly before running back and shrugging off her raincoat. She presses her coat into Sana’s arms “Here. If you get scared again,” She drapes it over Sana, covering her head “do this! It will protect you!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana watches until sees Momo enters her own house, coat still wrapped around her head, waiting until the older girl looks at her again and Sana waves until her arms hurt. She pulls the raincoat off her face, holds it close to her and hugs it tight.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The scent of baby powder still lingers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Whenever there is a vicious thunderstorm, Sana would dutifully pull out the raincoat tucked into her closet and wrap it around her, the pounding of her heart lessening when she feels the familiar weight on her again. Even when she got too big for it, she’ll drape it over one of her pillows and hold it close, pretending it’s Momo with her, covering her face with the hood.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The storm can rage and howl as much as it likes but Sana finds that she doesn’t frighten as easily these days. Sleeping peacefully with the raincoat pulled over her like a safety blanket, covering her eyes. After multiple washes the coat was slightly tattered and doesn’t smell like the older girl anymore. But still, she feels Momo’s calming presence surrounding her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t cry anymore.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo is right, this is magic.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>As always, Sana dreams of Momo.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>PRESENT</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo pulls subtly away from Mina, replacing herself with a bolster and Mina clings onto it. Standing up to gaze out the window, watching the way lightning streaks across the sky sombrely.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her fingers itches to hold someone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana, are you doing okay up there? Is the thunder too loud in heaven?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"...Baby?" Mina questions, feeling slightly more awake from the absence of her personal heater and she sits up, pulling the covers up and holding it against her chest, shivering when the cool air comes in contact with her bare skin.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Momoring?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo pulls the curtain shut, making her back under the covers and opening her arms wide for Mina to cuddle against.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She presses a brief kiss to her blonde hair and runs a hand up Mina's bare back and Mina giggles at the ticklish sensation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It’s okay Sana, don’t be scared. Momo is here.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"It’s nothing, the lightning was too bright." Satisfied with her answer, Mina starts drifting off, feeling safe in her girlfriend's arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older woman shuts her eyes and forces her body to relax, fighting back the urge to yank her arms away from the slumbering woman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo dreams of a bright smile with a missing tooth, dreams of a girl who laughs so loudly her eyes disappear into crinkles as she spins and spins until she falls over from dizziness, dreams of warm hands and pretty stickers, dreams of eyes so brown and so familiar that the voice in her head stirs, mumbling and mumbling.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She dreams of love that night.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She dreams of Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sorry to those who were hurt by the previous chapter?? I thought it was sweet :( But here is the fluff I promised all of you! This is probably the softest thing I wrote so far, hope you guys like it &gt;&lt; Not that good with love tbh.</p><p>But here is some baby SaMo! Really hope it's cute enough.</p><p>With the rate I'm going I wonder if I'll hit 100k words before I'm even halfway into this story XD</p><p>Thank you to all those who commented! I really like reading your thoughts, please comment if you like to :D I'll answer any questions you have.</p><p>See you next time!</p><p>#TwiceMeetAgain</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Setting down the hairbrush, Mina gently combs her fingers through Tzuyu’s soft hair and she smiles at how cute she looks with her new haircut. The toddler dozes off at the comforting touch, struggling to open her eyes when the older woman shows her a few hairclips for her to choose from and she carefully considers all her options before setting on the one with a apple figurine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana coos over the cute image on her daughter with her little bow, feeling her heart ache when Tzuyu holds onto Minjoong and how the toy is almost two-third of her size.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She’s so cute! </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Kneeling down Mina pulls out her phone and asks Tzuyu to look directly at the camera as she snaps a quick photo. She uploads it to her private instagram, captioned: <em>First day of school!</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s mind-blowing to think how much Tzuyu has grown, it felt just like yesterday when she first met the toddler who couldn’t even sit up on her own. She gently swipes her thumb over the swell of Tzuyu’s cheeks, feeling a little conflicted with herself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Go on, wait outside okay? Let’s see what your mommy is up to.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They were greeted with the sight of Momo fussing in the kitchen, running back and forth as she retrieves items from the fridge, almost tripping over the small pile of socks she has stewed all over the floor. She flicks through her phone going down the list of items she should be preparing for Tzuyu.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Did I remember to pack her lunch?” She mumbles, feeling extremely stressed out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo dumps the contents in Tzuyu’s little bag out over the counter and frantically shuffles through it, accidentally tossing the little keychain with the bread sticker encased in it. The toddler lets out a small shriek of horror when the keychain slides across the floor, landing with a small plink.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She yanks her hand out of Mina’s and waddles over, picking up the keychain tenderly, checking that there weren’t any scratches before pouting at her mommy, stomping her little feet.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry baby,” Momo apologizes without looking up from the counter, digging around for her lunchbox “Mommy’s a little busy now!” She opens the box and sighs in relief when the rice balls Mina prepared this morning were still intact.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why isn’t Mina a chef?” Sana asks genuinely impressed by the details of the rice balls that were designed to look like cows, the animal that Tzuyu was currently fixated by.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No like seriously, she’s so talented! Momo you can’t even wrap a roll of sushi without the ingredients falling out.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu walks closer, trying to reach up and attach the keychain back but Momo get jostling the bag so she couldn’t get a good grip.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yep! It’s packed!” She gives a small fist pump to herself. “I got this, I got this.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina opens a cabinet in the living room and pulls out a small frog umbrella.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wiggling the umbrella to catch the toddler's attention, Mina lowers herself to eye level and shows the umbrella to her “Baby look, do you like it?” Tzuyu touches the umbrella curiously, turning it this way and that before accidentally opening it, startling her and she flings the umbrella away before running into Momo and hiding behind her legs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older woman reaches down to run a comforting hand through her daughter’s hair, carefully not to mess up the cute hairclips on her while her eyes remained glued to the list, mentally checking off the items she had placed in “Pencil case, checked. Water bottle, checked. Minjoong…?” Momo peeks about, not seeing the little stuffed dog anywhere.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Anxiously she starts looking at every little corner she can find for the elusive plushie. She doesn’t know what would happen if she told Tzuyu that she lost her favourite toy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The meltdown would be brutal.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Plastering a cheerful smile on her face and nudging Tzuyu away when Mina gives her a questioning look, Momo speed walks into her daughter’s bedroom and finds the dog sitting on the bed with a tiara on his head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Isn’t he cute? Tzuyu spent a looooong time choosing which crown suits him best. She has good taste don’t you think? She could be a fashion designer in the future!” Rambling to herself, Sana didn’t even notice that Momo had already left the room walking back to her girlfriend and she clicks her tongue at the rudeness. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzuyu~” Momo says in a sing song voice, hiding the plushie behind her back as she approaches the toddler. “You forgot something!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her daughter tilts her head curiously, opening and closing her hands and Momo smiles, showing off the toy “Minjoong was waiting for you!” She moves the dog up and down the floor like he was running towards the toddler.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to hold Minjoong or should we put him in your bag?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not hesitating for a moment, Tzuyu thrust her arms out, an unspoken demand for the plushie to be given back to her and she takes a deep breath once she got hold of it. Getting a new idea, Tzuyu tries to clip the keychain onto the collar looped around the dog’s neck and smiles when it sits perfectly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Picking up the discarded umbrella, Mina flips it up and shows the toddler the two eyes stuck at the top.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzuyu don’t be scared! Here look, it’s Keroro!” She waves the item left and right, making the umbrella dance "Hello Tzuyu!" She says in a low voice and Tzuyu slowly walks out of her hiding spot, intrigued.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey! I had that as a kid!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana looks at the umbrella with a critical eye before snapping her fingers “Huh…you’re right! You did, I remember how much you cried when it flew away.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo snatches the umbrella out of Mina’s grip, marveling at the familiar design before squatting down and pulling Tzuyu into a one-armed hug. “Tzuyu! Look, mommy had one <em>just </em>like this when I was little like you!” She pokes Tzuyu’s chubby belly “It was in this colour too, where did you get this Mitang?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“They’re selling a whole line of this at the department store. You know, the one you got lost trying to find?” She teases and Momo’s jolly mood drops and she sulks “Hey! You know I’m bad with directions…it’s not my fault the buildings all look the same!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Laughing to herself, the younger woman pats her lap and the toddler waddles forward, sitting herself comfortably and Sana quickly positions herself next to the younger woman, laying on the floor as she tries to be as close as she can to her daughter.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Placing her chin on her palm, Mina gazes fondly at her girlfriend who was busy putting on Tzuyu’s shoes and making sure that it wasn’t too tight or too loose.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She’s so attentive…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Okay! Tzuyu do you want mommy to hold you?” The toddler nods and runs towards her, tripping at the last step and tumbling into Momo’s arms and Mina takes this chance to freshen up her appearance before leaving.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Momo swiftly checks over the uniform her daughter was smartly dressed in, making sure the ribbon was on tight and she scoops her up in a hug, giving a little kiss for her patience, smiling against the toddler’s cheek when she feels the little one laugh.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Holding onto her squirming toddler, Momo is struck with the sudden realization that her baby feels slightly heavier than she did a few weeks back and her legs look a little longer.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She’s growing up.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Today is the first day of preschool, that means a good part of her day will be spent with others her age. Soon she’ll start preferring her friends to her parents, asking to hang out with them and ignoring Momo. Maybe she’ll even start asking to have sleepovers at their houses and then that means the officer would have to start getting used to seeing an empty room. There will be no more sing-along sessions with Tzuyu, no more Lego building together.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Unable to stop her rampaging thoughts from running amok, Momo starts spiralling into what-ifs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu might even ask to move out, choosing a location at the other end of the country and only visiting during the holidays.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her daughter will grow up in a flash. Now she’s three but soon she’ll be sixteen and maybe soon she’ll start crushing on someone, start falling in love and dating and then she’ll get married-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A frown deepens when Momo thinks about marriage, scowling at the image of her baby all grown up in the arms of some stranger and she curses at the faceless person next to Tzuyu.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Not on her watch.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She tightens her hold on the toddler “Tzuyu?” Her daughter looks up “You can’t date till you’re fifty okay, Mommy’s gonna be <em>really </em>sad when you get a boyfriend or a girlfriend. You won’t want mommy to be sad right?” Not really understanding what was going on, Tzuyu just nods.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’ll always be mommy’s baby, right?” Momo asks weakly, busy memorizing the feel of Tzuyu’s tiny hand in hers, the softness of her cheeks and the utter adoration present on the toddler’s face when she snuggles into her mother. She then makes a promise to herself, that no matter how old or heavy Tzuyu gets, she’ll always try to carry her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That Tzuyu will always find a home with her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She can’t bear the thought of her baby growing up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Fifty?!” Sana exclaims in shock, almost laughing at the pitiful expression on her wife’s face. "We started dating way before that you hypocrite!" But under all her joking she does understand how her wife feels, it felt like just yesterday that Tzuyu had been born. She was such a tiny little thing, a preemie but with lungs so strong that Sana could hear her cries even as she starts slipping away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu was perfect and now she’s three, on her way to her first day at school. Sana feels herself tearing up involuntarily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“This is all your fault” She blames Momo, wiping away her tears.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The toddler hums in acknowledgement, already feeling sleepy and Momo rocks her gently, unwilling to let her go.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Just for a little while more, let me hold her just for a while longer.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The ache in her heart softens just a bit when Tzuyu reaches out to hold one of Momo’s fingers, playing with it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’ll always be a baby to me, you know that?” Even though she got no response, Momo continued “You’ll always be my little girl.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo really doesn’t want to cry so she buries her face on top of Tzuyu, leaning back on the wall and just trying to enjoy this moment as it lasts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Where did time go? When did you start learning to run Tzuyu?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She remembers when her daughter had been so small, had been so weak that she needed Momo to hold her up for mealtimes as she nibbled on the baby bottle. The toddler even started walking later than her peers because of Momo’s insistence on carrying her everywhere.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t grow up so fast.” She whispers to the almost dozing off child.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Once again at times like this Sana really wishes she could touch humans, to give comfort and to wash away the look of heartache on her wife’s face.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina applies another layer of lipstick and smacks her lips, checking her appearance before grabbing a little coat hanging by the rack, slipping it onto the toddler and rousing her from the little nap on her mommy’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Are you excited baby?” She asks, buttoning up the toddler’s coat and smoothing it out, plucking off the pesky lint.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu doesn’t answer, wiggling deeper into Momo’s hold and hiding her face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I guess that’s a no?” Sana questions as she tries to peek into Momo’s arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pausing, Mina notices something wasn't quite right and turns to look at her girlfriend “Were you crying?” Mina worriedly touches the edges of Momo’s eyes, and her girlfriend brushes her off, smiling tiredly “No, I was just being nostalgic.” She jostles the toddler “I just miss the days where she was small enough to carry in one arm.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Still looking worried, Momo sighs and leans on Mina a little, relaxing at the younger woman’s tight hold. “I’m fine, really. Thank you for your concern.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“If you’re sure…then we’re ready to go.” Using one hand to cover Tzuyu’s eyes, Momo quickly pulls the younger woman towards her, staring intensely before kissing her soundly, muffling the surprised shriek that Mina had let out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, you just looked so pretty that I couldn’t resist.” Momo apologizes sheepishly and Mina smacks her shoulders in faux annoyance, blushing. Momo steals one more kiss before Tzuyu fusses against her hold.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, your lipstick is really good, not even a smudge! It really does live up to its reputation.” Momo pretends to think “Maybe I should test it one more time?” Without giving Mina a chance to reply, she swoops in and kisses her again and Mina melts against her, giggling.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana can’t bring herself to watch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She feels sick to her stomach, like something is tearing its way out of her.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Blushing furiously, Mina quickly ushers Momo outside “Quick! We’re going to be late!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I just want some kisses!” The officer whines childishly, placated by the oeck the younger woman places against her jaw.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You took the day off, didn’t you? We can go on a date afterwards.” Mina suggests, eyes alight with hopefulness and Momo can’t find it in her to reject the idea, softly nodding.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu reaches up from her perch on Momo’s arms to grab onto some falling cherry blossoms and feeling mischievous, Momo blows them out of her grip and her daughter lets out a startled whine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be mean.” The younger woman chastises, and she quickly scoops up a few more blossoms for the toddler to play with.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo pouts at her girlfriend only to get a gentle shove as the two women took the scenic trail, wanting to spend more time with the toddler before she leaves for the whole day.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Children were running around the park, playing with their older siblings and some were on picnics with their parents. Seeing this makes Momo reflect on herself slightly and she looks down on the awestruck child in her arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She’s always been so busy she didn’t really have much time for her daughter, coming home in the dead of the night and missing out on bedtime stories and goodnights. How many more milestones is she going to miss? Her daughter isn’t going to stay small forever and Momo doesn’t want to regret everything once her daughter reaches adulthood.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’ll do better, I promise.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>A petal falls onto her nose and a hand suddenly flies towards her, smacking her hard.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ow!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sowwy!” Tzuyu’s apologetic tone and worried eyes works like a balm and the sting goes away almost immediately. “It’s okay, just be more careful.” Tzuyu guilty shows the petal she grabbed, and Mina plucks it off tucking it behind Tzuyu’s ear.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, you look so pretty! Like a princess!” Sana comments, hands ghosting over her daughter’s cheeks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu claps her hand and smiles, posing for Mina who was busy taking some pictures and Momo joins in, grinning happily for her girlfriend.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’ll do better from now on.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Distracted by the smell of freshly made bread, the toddler turns away from the camera, squinting at the unassuming cart by the side of the road with an old lady manning it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mm! Smell that Tzu-Tzu? Carp bread! You used to ask for it all the time when you were still in my tummy.” Sana points out enthusiastically, pulling her face to mimic a fish. She remembers how much she craved for the treat when she had been pregnant and how Momo had literally bought a carp grill to cook whenever her wife was experiencing a craving.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She wonders if Momo still has that grill.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu points to the cart and turns her gaze towards her mommy, puppy eyes out in full force.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hmm? You want some carp bread?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A nod.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Do we still have time?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina checks the time and nods, showing her phone to the older woman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, to the cart we go!” Sana cheers along with Tzuyu, throwing her hands up. She wonders if she could convince Jeongyeon to offer her some of the bread next time they meet. Maybe if she asks <em>really </em>nicely the Shaman might agree.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo starts making train departing sound effects, walking robotically over to the cart and the old woman perks up, a wide smile gracing her features as she wipes her hands on her apron, awaiting the order.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What would you like today?” She directs the question towards the child, smiling when Tzuyu ducks her head shyly and Momo grins, tossing her daughter in her arms lightly. “Tzuyu, look here is the menu,” Momo points to a piece of paper stuck onto the outside of the cart “What would you like?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Cream flavour! Tzu-Tzu loves that!” The ghost jabs a finger repeatedly to the first item “Moguri don’t you remember?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu looks over the menu, frowning when she doesn’t understand what it says, and Mina slowly pronounces the items.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Here baby, this is cream, it’s sweet and creamy like custard.” She drags her finger down to the next item “And this is red bean, the one mama gave you two days ago, remember? Or would you want chocolate? But if you have that now you won’t have pudding for dessert later.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tilting her head with a little frown, Tzuyu mouths the words silently as she thinks hard over her choice and Momo gives a tiny peck to her daughter, grinning when she leans into her touch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“C-Cweam.” Tzuyu points to the first item, looking expectantly at her mommy and Mina clears her throat “What should you say when you’re asking for something Tzuyu?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The toddler seems taken aback before amending her sentence “…Pwease. Cweam pwease.” She mumbles into Momo’s collar and the older woman laughs, endeared by the cuteness and she gives the order to the owner. Sana wishes she could pinch the toddler’s cheeks “Good job, you’re so polite!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Three pieces of cream flavoured buns please!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Handing a thousand won note to the toddler who places it on the counter and the vendor accepts it with an exaggerated swipe and Tzuyu giggles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Scooping up the batter and laying it on the grill, the owner begins to make small talk while smiling sweetly at the sight of Tzuyu leaning over the counter, peeking at the grill and watching how she makes the bread with attention.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Almost crawling over the counter, Tzuyu looks down and Minjoong nearly slips out of her hold but the officer quickly pushes it back up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You have a beautiful family.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was an offhanded remark, one with good intentions but it still caught Momo off guard and she feels her breath catch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you!” Sana beams and turns to look at her wife, smile faltering when she catches the uncertain look on the officer’s face. “Momo…?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older woman swallows and looks at Mina who blushes slightly and she gives a weak smile, shifting the toddler a little “T-Thank you.” Hoping they didn't notice her hesitation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“First day at school?” The owner points a batter covered spatula at the pristine uniform and Mina nods, ruffling Tzuyu’s hair “Yes. She’ll be attending the preschool near here.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A sharp whistle “Wow, congratulations!” She smiles at the toddler before pouring more batter on the other grills “Well, please take this as a gift from me!” Momo makes a move to stop the old lady but she waves the officer off “This is nothing! It’s not everyday you have a first day at school, right?” She asks Tzuyu but the toddler is utterly engrossed at the sight in front of her and she holds Minjoong up, chewing on his ears.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re so kind…” Sana sniffles before trying to nudge Momo “Quick, say thank you!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A timer goes off, signalling that the first batch was done, and the vendor swiftly scraps it off the grill, dropping it in a paper bag “Remember to share it with your friends okay?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you so much!” The officer exclaims, holding the bag and pulling one out and batting her daughter’s hands away “Baby wait, it’s hot.” Momo makes a show of blowing on the bun and Tzuyu wiggles in her grasp, eagerly waiting.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“She’s so cute, good job to the both of you!” The vendor teases the two women and lets out a delighted laugh when they squirmed on the spot.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Any plans for a sibling?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“H-Huh?” For the second time in just ten minutes, Momo was caught off guard and she nearly drop the bun she was holding and Tzuyu whines.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The vendor guffaws at the bewildered look on the older woman’s face “Kids grow up really fast, soon your little one will be off to college!” Momo’s expression darkens and she subconsciously lets out a growl, but the vendor pushes on unaware of the tension “That’s why you should have a few more so it won’t get too lonely at home!” She then nods at Tzuyu who is happily munching on the bun, licking at the cream dribbling out “It’s good for kids to have a companion too, helps them develop social skills and all that.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana fingers the bottom of her cardigan, deep in thought. Momo and her hadn’t really discussed on how many kids they would have, wishing to just try the treatment to see if it worked and then they were too preoccupied with preparing for Tzuyu's arrival. But Sana had always wanted at least two kids  seeing as how she was always lonely without Momo even though her parents and grandparents adored her to bit. There was nothing in this world that can compare to the bond between siblings and she envied the relationship between Hana and her wife when growing up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana doesn't want Tzuyu to feel like how she did, lonely and wanting a playmate. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina laces her fingers together, rocking on her heels as she looks at her girlfriend trying to gauge her reaction and Sana does the same though not quite understanding why her heart was beating so fast as if she was worried about the answer.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, I think one is enough.” She gestures to her daughter “I work a lot so it’s already hard to spend time with this one, I don’t think another is in the books.” The younger woman deflates at the flippant attitude in Momo’s voice and the vendor shrugs before bopping Tzuyu’s nose “More love for her then, right?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Scrunching her nose at the sudden touch, she looks at the vendor briefly before offering a bite to her mommy which Momo accepts, thanking the toddler with a soft look in her eyes and she bumps their noses together. Reaching over to her side, she offers the bottom half of the bun to Mina who bites it off gently, placing a kiss on the toddler’s fingertips.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Gosh that’s adorable!” The vendor swoons, placing a hand on her heart “Ah, makes me wish my kids were small again.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Opening her mouth and creeping closer, Sana rests her chin on Momo’s shoulder thankful that the coat the older woman was wearing meant she can’t feel it “Tzu-Tzu what about mama?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Faking a hurt expression when the toddler ignore her, Sana takes the time to look closely at Tzuyu’s face and her heart squeezes slightly when she notices how her cheeks weren’t as chubby anymore.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzu-Tzu please don’t grow up so fast okay? You're my little dumpling.” She knows Tzuyu can't hear her and she knows time waits for no one. But still she wishes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wishing time would stand still so she can have this moment forever.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The toddler finishes the last of her bun and she makes a small confused noise, rustling through the bag and coming up with nothing. Pushing the bag towards her mommy she silently asks for more.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Peeking into the bag, Momo looks around before doing her best impression of a worried expression “Oh no! There’s no more, sorry baby.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Apparently, her acting must be better than she thought because almost immediately her daughter starts fussing, tears coming to her eyes as she flails. “Chaengie!” she shakes the bag “Bwead!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Quickly pulling her cash out and hiding it in her pocket, Momo shows her wallet to Tzuyu “I have no more money to buy another bag…I guess your friend can't have any.” And that sets off the waterworks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzu-Tzu it’s okay, please don’t cry.” Sana smacks her wife, harrumphing with her hand goes through her body “Stop teasing her!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The vendor panics a little "Please wait a little longer, the next batch is almost done!" She tries to pacify the toddler who wasn't listening to her, too upset at how empty her bag is and worried that Chaeyoung might be left out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sobbing, Tzuyu turn to appeal to Mina who throws a dirty look at her girlfriend, opening her arms and carrying the child over. “It’s okay Tzuyu, your mommy was just joking which wasn’t <em>funny </em>by the way.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The glare Mina gives could have frozen Hell twice over.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Slumping her shoulders in dejection, Momo tries to get Tzuyu to look at her with no success. She then picks up the second bag that was just prepared and waves it in front of the toddler who still wouldn’t look at her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry Tzuyu, that was mean.” Momo smacks a hand at her face “Mommy is so sorry, forgive me?” The toddler looks at the offered bag and goes back into her mommy’s arms, rubbing a hand tenderly over the spot Momo had smacked.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pouting, Mina places her face over and Tzuyu rubs her cheeks too, giggling when Mina smiles gummily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana tries to pretend that doesn’t hurt and she looks down at her shoes glumly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Remember to save some for your friend okay? This is really the last bag.” Tzuyu nods and folds the top of the bag up, and places Minjoong above to guard it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The vendor sneakily slips in a lollipop to Tzuyu, winking and placing a finger on her lips when the toddler gives a faint smile, turning the candy over in her hand. "Come back soon you hear? Auntie will give you lots of treats if you do!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Giving one last wave, they set off to the preschool and Momo feels something heavy weighing down her heart, her mind kept going back to the conversation between the vendor and the sense of impending dread crawling over her when she thinks about her daughter growing up and leaving.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t know if she would be able to let go when the time comes, not when she’s all she has left of Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Me: This is fluff :D<br/>Y'all: I cried</p><p>XD I really hope none of you will be upset by this chapter! The next few ones would be focused on this arc and would be soft before I start bringing the angst back so angst lovers please be patient!</p><p>Also please don't hate Momo, she's trying her best &gt;&lt;</p><p>Let me know how this chapter was :)</p><p>See you guys next time!</p><p>#TwiceMeetAgain</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Standing outside the pre-school, Momo randomly went up to another parent and presents her phone with a slightly maniac grin.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, today is my daughter’s first day,” She lifts the arm that is holding Tzuyu “would you mind helping us take a picture? To commemorate this occasion!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The man agrees and accepts her phone while Momo runs back to Mina, gently dragging her towards the signboard and the two adults start to pose. Mina doing a safe V sign with her fingers while Momo drops down into a split, holding Tzuyu above her head like in the Lion King and her daughter just dangles there with Minjoong in her arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana kneels besides Momo and puts her hands up in the air and bows her head, as if worshipping the toddler.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Barely holding back a snort, the man quickly snaps three shots and hands the phone back to an energetic Momo who beams and thanks him profusely before flicking through her gallery. Sana peeks over her shoulders, disappointed but not surprised that she wasn’t captured.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>This will be a great photo for the scrapbook </em>Momo thinks, pursing her lips a little when she remembers it’s been a while since she updated it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mitang look! Maybe we should print this out and place it by the TV?” Mina feels herself mentally facepalming at how ridiculous her girlfriend looks in the pictures, but her heart softens at the utter adoration present on Momo’s face as she gazes at her daughter.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They looked like a family.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina imagines a fourth person, a little one in her arms and she bites her lips.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A family that is hers and hers alone.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Of course, we should get the biggest size possible so everyone can see how cute Tzuyu looks.” Mina rubs against the toddler’s cheeks affectionately.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Chewy cute?” Tzuyu points to herself, a small pout on her face and Momo and Sana feels themselves combusting as the older woman grips her shirt, pretending to suffer a heart attack only to grab Tzuyu when her daughter walks closer, worried about her mommy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“The cutest!” She rains kisses on Tzuyu’s cheeks, enjoying the high-pitched squeals emitting from the toddler and Mina looks on adoringly, feeling warm from the display of affection in front of her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A sight that was never seen back when she was growing up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Perhaps Momo’s the one she has been looking for. Has been dreaming of ever since she was a child when her head was filled with fairy tales, stories that promises the love and happiness that she had been so desperate for.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>All those tales of destiny, romance and passion, where o</em><em>ne can freely follow their heart with no repercussions thrilled her to the core as she rolled around in bed squealing. There was something about the certainty, the surety in those stories that enchanted her. Mina wants what those stories have, for someone to </em>want<em> her with utmost confidence.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>That Mina is who they want, no one else.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Someone who will love her for who she is.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>Who will choose </em>her <em>and not her brother.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Someone who can look past her family name, her wretched name which has only brought her misery and see what has been hidden away underneath the surface.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>To see the woman who just wants to be cherished, wants someone to look at her and think “Yes, she is worth it.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Her heart throbs at the sweet smile Momo throws her way, feeling her lips twitch up in return. The older woman grabs onto Tzuyu’s arms, waving it at Mina and the toddler face scrunches up in confusion.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>For the very first time in her life, Mina feels loved. The warmth spreading through her, threatening to burst out from her fingertips.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She has been looking for that someone all her life.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Someone like Momo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>Sweet, charming, </em>perfect <em>Momo.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>There were times where she really thought that she was dreaming, that there isn’t a slightest chance that Momo could be real. That she loves Mina back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When she lies in bed and stares at Momo’s peaceful face, Mina always gives herself a hard pinch on her arm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>How could she not fall in love? With the way Momo looks and smiles at her, the younger woman knew she was doomed from the very start. She never intended for anything to happen between them with Momo being engaged and Mina was her doctor.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was immoral and unprofessional, and she had given up hope of ever seeing Momo again, but destiny still found a way. Even if the circumstances were not ideal Mina will take any opportunity she gets. Only a fool would turn the officer away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Destiny has lent a hand to the younger woman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina can’t believe how lucky she got.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She knows what happened to Sana and her heart aches for the older woman. She cannot fathom the amount of hurt and distress Momo had went through but a small part of her, the greedy, cruel and heartless part wouldn’t stop whispering “This is your chance.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>No amount of effort in attempting to silence that thought ever worked. The voice only getting louder and louder the more she saw the older woman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To look at Momo and not wonder if maybe there is a chance for them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After all, Mina is only human.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had seen Momo at her lowest, at her weakest. Had seen her passed out drunk along a dark alley, had comforted her as she screamed and cried from a nightmare blabbering gibberish.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She had seen it all and she still loves her irrevocably, feeling something clicking in her when Momo walks into the room, heart singing when the officer’s hand brushes up against her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ashamed to admit but Mina may have cried (just a little!) when Momo asked her out, holding baby Tzuyu in her arms as she read her a bedtime story. Her heart screaming “Yes!” while her brain struggled to remember how to function.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Honestly it felt like a miracle to Mina, a wish come through from all the times she would fall asleep with Momo in her thoughts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even if it is considered selfish to feel happy with how her life turned out she can’t help how she feels. Even if people might look at her weirdly for playing house with a widow and her daughter, Mina doesn’t care. Not when she is <em>finally</em> happy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina is okay with being called selfish if it means she can wake up in Momo’s arms, if she gets to receive the tiny smile on Tzuyu’s face when she wakes her up in the morning.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As horrible as this may sound, Mina lives for the moments where Tzuyu will get scared from little things like a sudden blackout and curl up at the woman’s lap, seeking for comfort and trusting Mina to protect her. It means the world to the Japanese to be considered important enough for the toddler to run to when she feels unsafe. Reaching up with her tiny hand for the woman’s, wanting to be close when the crowd gets too much for the toddler.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She especially loves the way the child would tuck her face into the crook of Mina’s neck, content with being held.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To Tzuyu it may be that Mina is someone she is familiar with who was just conveniently standing there. It’s a bonus point that the woman always smells nice.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But to Mina, it means <em>everything </em>to her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>For them, she can withstand any type of judgement, hate and disgust thrown her way.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What is so wrong with wanting to be happy?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>If loving Momo is a sin, then she will gladly burn in Hell for eternity.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She walks towards the mother-daughter duo, smiling when Tzuyu walks towards her and tugs at her pants.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina wonders if it’s all right to call them her family, to call them <em>hers</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hoping that they think of her as theirs too.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>A bell tolls with an upbeat melody signalling that school was about to start and those lingering outside start shuffling in with their kids and Momo follow suit, holding onto Mina’s hand.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The little classroom seems packed, parents of all ages giving small prep talks to their children while some are openly crying.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Many toddlers were milling around with names untidily scribbled on them and Momo heads towards the table overflowing with nametags to pick one up for Tzuyu as well as marker before heading to one of the little cabinets with her daughter’s name on it and depositing her school bag. She carefully slides in the bag of carp bread to not squish it and place it in full view so her daughter won't miss it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shepherding Tzuyu towards the little stools set up at the back was a hassle as the toddler kept looking about as if trying to find someone and Momo had to scoop her up and dump her over her shoulders like a sack of potatoes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu still wiggled around in her grip, almost crawling to the top of Momo’s head to survey the classroom. She deflates when she couldn’t find the little figure she was looking for and slumps over lifelessly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her girlfriend secured three seats at the front and carefully accepts Tzuyu from the officer who sits herself on the other end of Tzuyu, placing the tag on her knee.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Hirai Tzuyu </em>She writes neatly and she pauses, staring at the name before gently clipping it onto her daughter. Momo presses one hand onto the nametag and looks at the toddler sombrely.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Once again, she realizes that her daughter is growing up and there’s nothing she could do.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Noticing the crestfallen look on her girlfriend's face, Mina feels a bit of playfulness spark up within her as she snatches the marker away, writing her name onto Momo's wrist with a smiley face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo peeks down at the drawing and a small smile appears, pleasing the younger woman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Hey! It's going to be hard to wash this away," Momo rubs at the writing and it doesn't smudge "see!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina pretends to pout "Aww, what a shame. I guess you have to walk around with my name on you forever then!" She giggles, feeling giddy when Momo nudges her foot.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Honestly, Momo must be some kind of sorceress with the way she can make Mina feel like she is at the top of the world with just a look. She grins when Tzuyu slips her hand in hers, wanting to know what was so funny and she presents her wrist to the woman as well, silently asking for the same thing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Heart aching at the cuteness displayed, Mina holds onto the marker with a weak grip and she writes her name onto the toddler's wrist. She draws a heart at the end and Tzuyu smiles, showing it off to her mommy who whines about only getting a smiley face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It is silly and childish.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It is <em>everything</em> to Mina.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She feels like she finally belongs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dahyun bounces to the front of the classroom, clapping her hands twice to catch the attention of everyone before thanking the parents for taking time out of their schedules to attend the opening ceremony. She then points to her left, instructing the toddlers to line up so she can take attendance.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer’s hand shot out to grab hold of Tzuyu when she made an attempt to wiggle down her seat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzuyu,” She sounds choked up “today is your first day at school. Do you know what that means?” Tzuyu shakes her head “Well, you will be learning about colours and numbers and all sort of cool things! Maybe when you come home you can tell us all about your adventures at school, does that sound good?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo gently tucks Tzuyu’s hair behind her ears and her fingers shake when the toddler nuzzles into her. “Make sure you behave okay? Listen to your teacher.” She reminds sternly before hugging her daughter again “I love you baby.” Drawing back she gives a mock salute and her heart wobbles dangerously when Tzuyu tries to copy her cutely.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What she wouldn’t give to ensure that Tzuyu stays little forever.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>As she places her daughter down and nudges her softly to join her classmates, Momo starts to feel the prickling sensation of tears forming and she bites down on her lips. Her daughter lingers back, concerned with how upset her mommy looks and she tries to walk towards her again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seeing the others waiting for the little Hirai to join them, Mina pushes Tzuyu forward softly “Go on baby, we’ll see you later.” She blows a kiss to Tzuyu who smiles slightly before waddling to the others, Minjoong held securely in her pudgy arms and for every step she took, she glanced back as if to make sure her parents were still there. Mina makes sure to wave whenever she sees the toddler looking at them while Momo locks her jaw, desperate not to make a scene.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana pouts tearily when she sees the flush crawling up her wife’s neck as she tries to control her tears. “Don’t cry Momo…Tzu-Tzu won’t like it if she sees you-” Her lips wobble and tears spill out and before she knows it, she’s crying alongside Momo.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The image of Tzuyu’s slowly retreating figurine gets blurrier and blurrier and Momo doesn’t even notice that she’s full on sobbing until Mina gently rubs her back, offering a tissue.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Her baby is growing up.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What if one day she doesn’t want her mommy to hug or kiss her anymore? Thinking that it’s too embarrassing? God, she doesn’t even want to think about that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Feeling ashamed at being so dramatic, Momo ducks her head before dabbing eyes and blowing her nose rather noisily. The man next to her glowers when he accidentally records the sound of her sniffling on his phone as his son waves at him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo can’t believe she has turned into one of <em>those </em>moms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Baby, you’re so cute.” Mina coos lovingly and Momo looks at her skeptically, eyes rimmed red “…Cute? You call this,” She gestures to her splotchy face “cute?!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina plants a soft kiss on her girlfriend’s cheek “I’m sorry it’s just, you’re normally so tough and stoic and to see you cry because Tzuyu is starting school…” She pinches Momo’s cheeks “you’re just a softie, aren’t you? My little marshmallow.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer whines at the good-natured ribbing, tears still falling because her arms feel empty without holding her baby and she pulled Mina in, wrapping herself around the younger woman to seek comfort which was gladly given.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"...For the record I think it's really sweet that you care so much, it means Tzuyu is really precious to you so don't be embarrassed okay?" Mina says softly as she holds onto Momo "And I <em>really</em> like marshmallows." The officer snorts at the lame justification and closes her eyes, leaning on her girlfriend for support.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mina, hi!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A pink haired woman appears out of nowhere and tackles Mina into a hug, pushing the officer off her and Mina's startled squeak kicks Momo into action, yanking the strangers hands off her girlfriend and pressing her onto the floor roughly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana covers her mouth in shock when she notices who the ‘attacker’ was.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ow! Hey!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The voice sounds familiar.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Moguri stop!” Sana tries uselessly to push her wife off to no avail.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What do you think you’re doing?” Momo growls at the stranger below her, tightening her grip when she tries to wiggle out of the position. Mina tries to pull her girlfriend off the stranger “M-Momoring, it’s okay I-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wait, wait! Stop!” Nayeon pops out of the crowd and wrestles Momo off the struggling figure under her. “That’s my wife!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon makes eye contact with Momo and she trips in surprise, stumbling her way over before jumping onto Momo who nearly topples backwards from the added weight.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Momo! Oh my God, what a coincidence! The same preschool for our kids? Why, I would never have guessed, this is completely a surprise by the way. I totally didn’t know about this.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not to be paranoid but Nayeon was acting really suspicious and Momo narrows her eyes at her best friend when she spots the wide toothy smile on her face, her grip loosening and Jihyo frees herself, pushing the officer off her and she groans.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Jihyo…?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The injured woman flashes a peace sign “Gosh, what do you eat for breakfast to get so freakishly strong?” Jihyo complains as she places on hand at her back. Chaeyoung breaks apart from the other students at the commotion and toddles back to her parents, clinging onto Nayeon’s legs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seeing her friend walk away prompts Tzuyu to do the same and she waddles towards Momo, making uppy arms asking to be picked up which Momo obliges, the unsettled feeling in her heart soothing when her daughter is back in her arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo wonders if it’s too late to just back out of the whole preschool thing, she can home-school Tzuyu!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo whines and shows out a bruise purpling on her wrist, pouting exaggeratedly as she tilts her hand this way and that, trying to ask for comfort from Mina who steps forwards, bowing a little and she looks apologetically at the damage. She gently lifts the wrist up, pressing the pads of her fingers and testing the severity of the pain, watching Jihyo’s face intensely.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I am so sorry for this Jihyo, here I have some cream you can apply to that.” Mina reaches into her bag and pulls of a tub of cream, squeezing out a dollop and rubbing it onto the bruising area and Jihyo smiles at her attentiveness.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon on the other hand stares at Mina, quickly placing her as the rude doctor that she ran into all those years ago. She points at her and her mouth opens and shuts comically, still feeling annoyed at being called a hinderance. (Her biggest flaw was always being too proud after all, and that day Mina had really damaged her ego)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re Mina?!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The doctor doesn’t look up from where she was inspecting Jihyo’s wrist but quirked an eyebrow at the underlying tension loaded in Nayeon’s question. “Yes, that’s me. You must be Jihyo’s wife?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Yeah.” She narrows her eyes at the doctor, the indignancy she feels ebbs away when she sees how careful she is with her wife.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Nice to meet you." The younger Japanese bows and Nayeon flinches back a little from the formality, feeling a little bad at being hostile.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Nayeon couldn't help comparing her meeting with Mina alongside with Sana's and the difference in the women's greeting stands out to her. She didn't know Momo like quiet and polite women as Sana had been like a hurricane made out of candy and sunshine.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older Korean was quick to put a stop to her thoughts, not wishing to open that can of worms just yet and she maintains her smile at the other couple, noticing the way Mina directed her body towards her partner, feet pointing towards Momo who is still frozen on her spot.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Standing in front of her girlfriend, Momo dusts off herself, shifting Tzuyu to one arm and asks, “What are you doing here?” Okay, she sounded a bit too harsh there and Mina’s glare confirms it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I’m a student here!” Jihyo says sarcastically “What do you think genius? We enrolled Chaengie here.” She looks at Mina as if to say <em>Can you believe her audacity?!</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo eyes drop down to the midget hiding behind her partner’s legs who peeks out when she hears her name and smiles toothily, mirroring Nayeon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The ghost drops down to a squat and she smiles adoringly at the other girl "Hello Chaengie! It's so nice to see you again, Tzu-Tzu missed you lots! You should have seen the way she behaved with the sticker you gave her, so fierce! Momo made it into a keychain and she attached to her puppy!" She looked up at her daughter who kept giving shy glances "Isn't that right baby? Come say hello to your friend!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung waves enthusiastically at Tzuyu who waves back shyly, hiding her face in her mommy’s neck and Momo’s eyes nearly dropped out of their sockets.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Chaengie…? <em>That </em>Chaengie? This is your friend?” She asks in disbelief and the toddler nods proudly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Fwiend!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Of all the-! </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo feels a headache coming.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Part 2 of the first day of school :D Hope it's not getting too boring...(If it is please let me know!)</p><p>Anyways I read a few comments talking about Mina and Momo and I'm glad there are such discussions because none of the characters here (Aside from Tzu and Chaeng) is 100% an angel. They are humans after all, filled with complex emotions which I will be delving into deeper in future chapters! I hope you would look forward to it :)</p><p>Thank you so much for reading and commenting, I really appreciate it.</p><p>Please use #TwiceMeetAgain if you wish to reach out on Twitter to share your thoughts or ask questions, I am open to any kind of feedback &gt;&lt;</p><p>See you next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>An oppressive silence hangs above them as curious parents look back and forth from a flustered Momo and a pouting Jihyo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Jihyo…wow it’s so nice to see you.” Momo starts, looking at anything but the woman in front of her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You look,” She flounders “…different.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Reaching down to her waist and giving it a little pinch, the shorter woman pouts “Hey! I know I gained a little since my pregnancy okay? No need to rub it in.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina clears her throats and sharply jabs her girlfriend with her elbow, eyes screaming at Momo to rectify the situation and the older woman stammers, hands waving frantically as she clarifies,</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wh-? No! No that’s not what I meant! I just, well.” The officer brings a hand up to the bottom of her jaw, brushing along her neck “Your hair was <em>this </em>short the last time I saw you and it was brown. But now it’s <em>pink </em>and I-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Fingers drumming nervously against her thigh, Momo sighs “I just…” She peeks up at Jihyo through her lashes “I miss you Hyo; you look gorgeous as always.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A teasing smile spreads across the shorter woman’s face, eyes crinkling up adorably as she looks fondly at the fidgeting officer. Her voice drops low and she holds out a hand “You’re still as sweet and cute huh? <em>I miss you too.</em>” Momo accepts her hand and purses her lips, struggling not to cry.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Scoffing at the weak gesture, Nayeon just grabbed the two of them in a hug, carefully not to squish the little Tzuyu still held securely in Momo’s arms. “Come here!” Lifting them off the ground with only a slight wheeze as the aftermath.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The toddler squeals at the sudden lift off, curling into the protective embrace of her mommy and Chaeyoung whacks Nayeon’s leg, a harsh frown on her cute face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t scare Chewy!” She reprimands, placing her hands on her hips sternly, copying Jihyo’s earlier stance.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was comical how quickly Nayeon deflated when met with the disapproving glare of her daughter and she kneels down, asking for forgiveness which Chaeyoung gives just as quickly. Frown melting away into an adorable dimpled grin and she flies into her mommy’s arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon immediately starts squealing as she peppers kisses all over Chaeyoung’s face, laughing loudly when her daughter tries to pull away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo just watches on with a judgemental face, turning her nose up at how soft her partner is acting with her kid and she pointed turns away from the scene.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So, I take it that you two have met?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Offering a wet wipe to Jihyo to remove the excess ointment on her fingers, Mina turns back with a raised brow “Yep. She’s the one I talked about the other day, the one who invited us for a meetup. I even said ‘Her name is Jihyo’. Were you not listening?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Frost seems to cover her girlfriend’s words and Momo feels a pang of fear cutting through her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Of course I was listening! It’s just that there are many Jihyo’s in this world y’know? Like the cashier at the grocery shop, Song Jihyo! Or that bakery owner, Kim Jihyo! And that florist-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Giggling, Mina presses her index finger against the officer’s lips, stopping the rambling “I know baby, I was just teasing.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She presses a kiss to her girlfriend’s cheek and Jihyo watches with rapt attention, eyes tracking every movement and her lips twitches faintly when she notices Momo’s reaction.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Or lack of.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me?” The teacher walks up to them, pointing at both Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. “Class is about to start so can I have them back?” She jokes and smiles prettily at the toddler in Momo’s arms, murmuring a soft “Hello there!” to which Tzuyu acknowledges by looking away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Feeling a little disconcerted with the sudden change in events, Momo blankly sets Tzuyu down, giving her a small pat on the back and stroking Minjoong’s head before saying goodbye again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Watching her daughter walk away this time didn’t trigger any tears to fall as the officer’s mind is busy racing with the implications of having to see Jihyo and Nayeon for every school event.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A part of her is thrilled to find common ground with parents that she is already close to. It’ll be fun to complain about finding glitter in every corner of the house.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The other part of her though…is uneasy and afraid.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She doesn't want to-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She feels Mina sliding her hand into hers, giving a reassuring squeeze as she tilts her head, silently asking “What’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo smiles at her girlfriend and she hopes it does not look as forced as it feels, her lips stiffly stretching side to side. “Nothing. Just thinking about Tzuyu.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana looks back at the other two women before trailing after Tzuyu, determined to stay by her side. “Don’t worry Momo, I’ll take care of her. I promise.” She sticks out her pinky and pretends to hook it with Momo’s.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Having seen that there is truly nothing to worry about Tzuyu, the adults make to leave the room. Momo can’t help throwing one last look at her daughter who was holding hands with Chaeyoung.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Just in case the toddler wishes to come home with her instead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dahyun clears her throat and gathers the children to the front of the room and she arranges them neatly in a line. After making sure everyone had a buddy, she turned to face the doorway. “Okay kids,” She claps her hands twice “say bye-bye to your mommy and daddy!” The teacher waves her body side to side exaggeratedly. A few students chorus after Dahyun while Tzuyu falls silent, confused.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Bye-Bye?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“That’s right, Tzuyu!” Dahyun squats beside the toddler and holds her arm up, waving at Momo and Mina “Bye-Bye!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina waves back lovingly while Momo shuffles out, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose and Nayeon knocks a fist against her teasingly, mocking her for being so sullen even though she herself has tears streaming down her face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu watches in muted horror as her mommy and mama walk out of the door until she can’t see them anymore. She tries doing tippy toes, but she can’t see anything besides the colourful walls with flowers painted on them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her heartbeat quickens instantly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzu-Tzu, are you excited? Mama is <em>very</em> excited! Look at all these pretty colour pencils!” Sana points to the stationary corner. “Wow, they have so many plushies for Minjoong to be friends with!” She continues talking animatedly, unaware that her daughter wasn’t listening.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Multiple toys that looked like they were just bought were neatly stacked on the little shelves by the side of the room and Sana feels as if she’s a kid in a department store. She spots one of the tiny miniature rabbit families in one of the boxes displayed. Tzuyu had been obsessed with that series when it first came out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She mentally praises Momo and Mina for choosing such a good school, pleased that her daughter will have no shortage when it comes to toys.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The plushie slips from the toddler’s hold and she looks around frantically, heart beating out of her chest and she trembles, alerting Chaeyoung who peers at her curiously wondering why her friend looked so pale. She hooks her arm through Tzuyu’s, feeling her shaking increase in tremors.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Mommy is gone.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She can’t see her!</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Does mommy not want Chewy anymore?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Her lips wobble and she clench her fists on her uniform, fidgeting restlessly among the other children and a small whimper broke through her lips.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzu-Tzu? What’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Mommy?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>An ear-piercing wail that sounds suspiciously like Tzuyu’s breaks through the pleasant chatter among the parents and instinct kicks in urging Momo to run back in, practically shoving people out of her way and sees her daughter struggling to run out after her parents and the teacher tries to calm her down. The toddler kicks and thrashes in Miss Kim's arms, trying to wiggle free out of her grip.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The sight of her daughter squirming in Miss Kim’s hold as she tries desperately to reach Momo causes something inexplicable to echo through the older woman’s body, vibrating and rattling as her sights hone in on the tears dripping down messily on Tzuyu’s face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzuyu?!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The toddler bawls even louder, reaching for her mommy and Momo immediately picks her up from Miss Kim’s arms, embracing her as she rocks her daughter.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Shh…it’s okay baby, it’s okay. Mommy’s here.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana hovers around the mother-daughter duo, heart aching when she sees how blotchy Tzuyu’s face looks as she keeps on crying, gripping tightly onto Momo’s shirt in an attempt to keep her near. She resists when Momo makes to shift her to the other side of her arms, letting out a high-pitched whine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“N-No!” Tzuyu garbled through her tears, clinging on for dear life and Sana feels her heart break when her daughter’s tiny fist shakes uncontrollably.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She’s never seen Tzuyu this upset before and she hates it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She hates how she’s incapable of making this better.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>So useless</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzu-Tzu, it’s okay. Mama’s here too don’t cry. Mama is here.” She places one hand slightly above Tzuyu’s head and the toddler shifts just a smidge closer to the cold. Probably to soothe her aching eyes from crying so hard.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina walks in briskly, apologizing to those that were pushed by her girlfriend and she pulls out some tissues to wipe away Tzuyu’s tears, rubbing her back. She opens her arms, a silent gesture asking Tzuyu if she would like Mina to hold her and the toddler shakes her head, still holding onto Momo and Mina nods in understanding.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The younger woman instead offers one of her fingers to the toddler and smiles softly when Tzuyu accepts and grabs on, wishing to hold both parents close to her. She speaks softly to Tzuyu, so softly that Momo couldn’t catch a word but it seems to calm the child down slightly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon, being the busybody with a heart of gold, also forces her way back into the room, lingering awkwardly at the door as she contemplates whether she should step in or not. She spots Chaeyoung bending down to pick up the stuffed dog and sends a wide smile at her daughter, giving a thumbs up for her effort.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sobs softening to hiccups and occasional whines, Tzuyu is still unwilling to let go and tucks herself into Momo’s coat, refusing to look at anyone. Momo gives a helpless glance towards Miss Kim and her feet shuffles uncertainly, going back and forth.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Erm, I don’t think we’ll be attending today Miss Kim, sorry for the trouble.” She bows carefully to prevent jostling the child and makes a move to leave when the teacher speaks up “Actually, you can join in today’s session if you want?’ She nods her head towards the semi-hidden toddler “It’s actually very common for kids to cry on the first few days.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tapping a pen thoughtfully against her chin, Dahyun continues on “Has she ever cried like this when you leave her alone?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo sways Tzuyu rhythmically and Mina answers swiftly “Well, a few times but never to this extent.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Humming, the teacher continues “I see." She then speaks up with hesitation, not knowing how the older woman would take this. "I'm aware it isn't really my place but this may be a case of separation anxiety.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana’s eyes widen, a heaviness weighing down her heart. She starts chewing on her nails nervously, words muffled. “Tzuyu has always been a little clingy and nervous…but I didn’t know it was this bad.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Now she’s upset at herself for failing to notice the anxiety present in her daughter’s behaviour. She thinks back to moments wher her daughter had been extremely adamant on being close to her mommy and how the ghost was always the first to laugh over how cute the toddler looked when she insisted on following Momo everywhere, even to the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maybe if she had figured it out sooner…then she could have-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Who was she kidding? Sana wouldn’t have been able to do anything given her current situation but still, the failure on her end stings and she feels so <em>sorry </em>to her baby.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>So </em> <em>useless</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She walks towards the whimpering toddler timidly “Tzu-Tzu? Mama is sorry…so sorry baby.” Tzuyu seems to shrink in Momo’s arms, tiredly curling up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Separation anxiety…?” The older woman bites out, unable to believe her ears. Her first thought was to hotly deny it but it does explain some of the toddler’s peculiar behaviour. She looks down at her baby held in her arms and she wonders if her daughter had been carrying this burden around all along and that she was too blind to see it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yup. But don’t worry we can easily fix that and don’t be too stressed out okay? It’s not your fault that children get attached really easily! When I was a kid I used to hoard all the pebbles I can find and throw the <em>meanest </em>tantrum when my dad threw them away!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She flashes a smile at Momo, reassuring the worried officer a bit. “We need to slowly ease your daughter off you and stick to a schedule, for example letting her know that you’ll be here for her before and after school, so she knows you’re <em>definitely</em> coming back for her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dahyun picks up Tzuyu’s enrolment form and glances through it. “She’s the only child correct? So she’s probably not accustomed to such a large group of children and is used to seeing both her parents next to her. I really think it’ll do her good if at least one of you stay back and accompany her today.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Think of it as a special bonding experience, not many parents can say they attended pre-school with their kids!” The joke flies over Momo’s head. Sana walks up to her wife and leans in “Please Momo? It’ll be good for Tzuyu.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The teacher then starts shepherding the other toddlers towards their designated tables while Chaeyoung lingers behind, holding up the stuffed puppy Tzuyu had dropped. She toddles after Momo, staring worriedly at Tzuyu’s teary face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pulling on another small stool, Dahyun gestures towards the empty seat “Please, have a seat. I’m sure your daughter will love to have you here.” She then raises her voice, calling out to the crowd of parents eavesdropping outside. “If anyone else would like to join in, please feel free too! I’ll bring out more chairs.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A few parents murmur to their partners, checking their watches and grumbling when they noticed they were almost late for work. Only four stood forward and made their way in, Nayeon and Jihyo included and they quickly made themselves comfortable at the little chairs provided at the back of the classroom.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The sinister creak that sounded when Nayeon plopped down was concerning but she opts to pay it no mind.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Cradling a slightly less hysterical Tzuyu, Momo lumbers over to one of the kiddy tables and angles herself over the stool, knees bumping onto the table uncomfortably and giving an awkward smile to the five curious little faces looking back at her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her legs stick out weirdly and Momo can already feel a cramp forming. But the slightly more relaxed look on Tzuyu face convinces Momo that the pain was worth it. Her daughter sticks a thumb into her mouth and sucks, one hand still holding onto her mommy’s coat. Momo gently pries her thumb off but Tzuyu sticks it back in, shaking her head when the officer tries to offer her a candy instead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung smiles when she sees Tzuyu at the table adjacent to hers and she quickly leaves her seat, running over to Momo only to be blocked by the teacher who tries to push her back to her spot.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Using Stripes as a distraction by throwing it at the unsuspecting woman’s face, Chaeyoung dashes under Miss Kim’s legs and heads straight to Tzuyu, head popping up and smiling widely as she swings Minjoong around. “Chewy! Chewy I took care of him!” The other toddler softly receives her plushie and hugs it tight, thanking Chaeyoung with her eyes while Momo looks at the mushroom-haired child bouncing on her toes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She feels like she’s looking at a miniature version of Nayeon</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hello, are you Tzuyu’s friend?” Momo asks, bending her head to look her in the eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The toddler nods rapidly, hair swishing around “Yes! Hi I am Chaengie,” Chaeyoung holds up four fingers “I am thwee!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana squeals at the cuteness of it all while Momo reaches out to press one finger down so now Chaeyoung holds three fingers up. The toddler just smiles brightly, unaware that she counted wrongly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu then holds out four fingers as well, mumbling “…I am thwee too.” And the officer dutifully presses one finger down again, counting out loud “No baby, one, two and three. Three fingers.” Tzuyu closes her fist and sticks out one finger at a time, copying her mommy “One, two and…thwee.” She holds out three fingers proudly and Momo awards her with a kiss.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was such a sweet moment, but Sana couldn’t help feeling a little left out because she had honestly dreamed of teaching Tzuyu how to count when she was still pregnant. It wasn't as if she was a math whiz but she had wanted to experience seeing her child trying their best to scrawl numbers, like drawing a small snowman as the number eight. Sure she had taught so many other children how to count but there was something special about it being her own baby, something special about it being Momo's. She even switched to children programs on the TV and ‘watch’ them together with the baby bump, counting numbers with a tap to which the baby will respond with a light flutter.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She even crafted little felt toys for her baby with numbers stitched onto them and planned a song to introduce the concept of numbers to the baby.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She wonders what happened to those toys.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There was so much she had wanted to do.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu’s first words, her first step, her first smile.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everything.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana has missed <em>everything</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Once again realizing how much she had lost, Sana’s feels her mood souring and she bites down hard on her bottom lip, refusing to let her thoughts overshadow such an important day.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Even though Tzuyu can’t see her she needs to remain positive and optimistic so good vibes will surround the little girl. There's no space for negativity here!</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>While Sana was busy sulking, Chaeyoung was trying to crawl onto Momo’s lap in an attempt to sit next to Tzuyu and the officer quickly sticks a hand out, pressing it against the persistent kid’s face to dissuade her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Chaeyoung, your seat is over there.” She points to an unoccupied seat, but the toddler doesn’t look away from Momo’s <em>very inviting lap</em> and she continues to try and climb on.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu wiggles back from her spot, giving more space for her friend to climb on.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer throws a desperate look at her friends at the back, mouthing “Help!” but Mina doesn’t move, enjoying the sight of her girlfriend playing with the little ones.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Of course the image does nothing to quell the slowly burning urge in her for something <em>more</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She wonders…</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Feeling kind, Nayeon stood up flourishly, purposely making a lot of noise and strode towards her daughter before squatting down “Hey buddy!” Chaeyoung doesn’t even look at Nayeon and instead holds out her arms in a bid to ask Momo to carry her up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Chaengie, why don’t you sit on mommy’s lap?” Nayeon pats her legs and looks at her daughter in anticipation only for her daughter to look at her dismissively and sneer “No!” Continuing to badger Momo to carry her up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Placing a palm on her chest like she was shot, Nayeon drops down on her butt and looks at Momo in betrayal.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Traitor! You turned my daughter against me!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Giving up, Momo picks Chaeyoung up and the two toddlers wiggle about to make themselves comfortable.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Unnie, that’s not-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Chaeyoung~” Nayeon ignores her partner “Are you sure you don’t want to sit with mommy? I can give you yummy snacks!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Bribery, the oldest trick in the book and there was no way Chaeyoung can resist-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her daughter responds by pulling Momo’s coat over her face, effectively blocking Nayeon from view.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hirai you’re dead to me.” Turning away dramatically, Nayeon walks back to her wife and sulks. Mina tries to offer a comforting pat, but the Korean rolls her shoulder away from the younger woman. The Japanese slowly retracts her hand and places it back on her lap slowly, a strained smile on her face and she busies herself by checking her nails.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Rather obviously, Nayeon scoots her chair away from Mina’s with a loud screech, paying no mind to the stares she garners as she shifts, leaving at least five inches between them as she throws her legs over Jihyo’s, cuddling into her wife.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pretending that Mina didn’t exist.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maybe Mina was overthinking this, something she has always been guilty off was over-analyzing and thinking too much but it hurts a little when she sees the space between her and Nayeon She discreetly takes a whiff of her collar, a little paranoid that perhaps she smells.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dahyun approaches Momo with her hands tucked neatly behind her back and she bends down to speak to the officer quietly. “Mrs Hirai? If you don’t mind can I ask for your help with the class? You don’t have to do much just monitor this group,” She raps her knuckles on the table that Momo was seated at “and help the kids if they can’t reach certain things?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I think it would be good for Tzuyu to see you in action in class which can help lessen some of her fears when she attends school alone next time. This is a foreign environment after all but if she sees you helping out, she may think ‘Oh mommy did this before so it’s not scary.’ Do you get what I mean?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer was never one for the limelight, preferring to be in the background most of the time and the thought of being the focus of a bunch of children does send a pang of doubt through her. Would she be good enough for them? Entertaining enough?  What if they think she was, God forbid, <em>boring</em>?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But if it benefits Tzuyu then who was she to say no? She briefly hears Nayeon making a fuss on why the teacher didn’t approach her instead and Jihyo to roughly nudge her in the ribs, flushing with embarrassment at the ruckus her wife was causing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo nods and Miss Kim jumps up in excitement “Great! Then this table is under your care!” She turns to face the other children “Kids please listen to Mrs Hirai okay? She’ll be leading you today!” And she flounces off to the next table.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>All at once the children turn to stare at Momo, eyes wide with wonder and curiosity. The sudden attention seems to fluster Tzuyu who retreats back into the safety of her mommy’s coat while Chaeyoung peeks out and waves.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer sees Jihyo discreetly filming her out of the corner of her eye and she discreetly flips the bird, hearing the scandalized gasps from the other parents.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo feels a little nervous when she sees the disapproving look on Mina’s soft features.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A little hand smacks her arm and Momo looks down and sees a little girl hitting her repeatedly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Elkie </em>The nametag reads and the toddler wags her finger as menacingly as a she can (Which is to say, not very) at the older woman “No!” She grasps onto Momo’s middle finger, pushing it down “Mommy says that’s bad!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana smiles brightly at Elkie, praising her “That’s right Elkie! That’s <em>very </em>naughty, shame on you Moguri!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon chortles at the scene and Jihyo quickly covers her mouth, muffling her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lips formed into an ‘O’ shape at being so openly chastised, the officer quickly brings her finger down and runs her gaze through the small impressionable faces staring at her and she can feel the cold sweat dripping off her forehead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oops.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo pats Elkie’s head and laughs weakly “Your mommy is right, this is bad. I’m sorry.” She apologizes and the little girl smiles brightly, happy to help.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not liking the fact that her mommy was praising someone else, Tzuyu peels off Momo’s hands and frowns. “Don’t.” She complains abruptly before placing her mommy’s hand on her own head, subtly asking Momo to pat her instead.  </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu looks expectantly at Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana bites down hard on her lips when she sees the bewildered look on her wife’s face and fights the urge to laugh at how adorable her daughter looks while jealous. Momo drags her hands down to the toddler’s cheeks and pinches them, making baby voices as she coos over Tzuyu.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Opening up her coat to allow her daughter to snuggle in, Momo places her chin on top of Tzuyu’s head while looping an arm over Chaeyoung securely, watching as Miss Kim returns with a few stacks of worksheets and starts distributing them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo accepts a sheet and looks at it, amused to find cutesy drawings of numbers and application signs printed all over and she shows it to Tzuyu who bats the paper away, annoyed at seeing mathematics. Chaeyoung wrinkles her nose at the numbers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Children!” Miss Kim taps her marker against the whiteboard before she starts writing out instructions. “Please head to the blue bin at the right side of the room to pick up some pens.” She points to the bin and Tzuyu follows her finger. “Then come back so we can work on some counting okay?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana copies Miss Kim’s stance and places her hands on her hips “You heard your teacher! Go pick out some pens, go go!” She cheers energetically.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nostalgia fills every crevice in Sana, she really misses being in her classroom.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A few kids from the other table groans but Tzuyu perks up at the mention of pens, tugging on Momo’s coat as a way of ordering her mommy to go to the bin now to secure the prettiest pens.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With great difficulty as she has to juggle two toddlers, Momo hurries over to the bin and says in a robotic voice “Train Momo has reached the station, please alight all passengers.” Before making a beeping noise as she drops the two kids down, letting them pick and choose. Chaeyoung was done in a matter of seconds, spying all the colours she likes and picking them out triumphally while Tzuyu hunches over her choices, picking one up before shaking her head and putting it back down.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A few students started grumbling behind Momo and not wanting any tantrums to start, she quickly pulls out a few lollipops from her pocket and offers it to the other kids.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Now now, good children will be patient and wait. Are you good boys and girls?” She asks, twirling the candy around and they nod eagerly, eyes fixated on the prize. The officer hands it out and softly whispers to her daughter “Tzuyu? Almost done yet baby?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She only hears a disgruntled huff as the toddler is now comparing two different shades of blue together as she frowns before showing it to Momo, asking her mommy to choose.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I like this one!” Momo points to the darker one and Tzuyu smiles, placing the one Momo <em>chose </em>back into the bin and clutching the lighter blue in her tiny hands.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana gasps loudly and laughs at the incredulous look on her wife’s face, feeling a lot lighter now.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Life had a different plan for her, and even if It’s unfair at least she gets to see Tzuyu grow up beside her, to watch her blossom into the cute little girl she is today. Sana tries to focus on being thankful for small blessings, she’ll take anything she can get.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She hopes there will be many more firsts and seconds and thirds and so on that she can witness Tzuyu achieving.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She hopes that she experiences everything, even if it’s by the sidelines.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She hopes never to leave.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wow okay.” Momo mutters fondly, picking up the two toddlers back up as she walks back to their desk. She wonders who did Tzuyu learn to be so savage from?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Miss Kim grins when she seems Momo lumbering back with two children tucked under each arm like potato sacks. “Do you need another stool for Chaeyoung?” The youngest Im shakes her head, patting Momo’s thighs “Sit here!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Smooshing the toddler’s cheeks, the teacher nods “Okay, if that’s what you want. Now hurry back to your seats!” She pushes Momo with force and the officer stumbles before contorting her body again to adjust to the tiny table. The awkward angle pleases the toddlers a lot as they lay down on each leg.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The squeaky sound of a marker pressing along the whiteboard fills the room and Sana fights the urge to cover her ears and she inches away with a wince.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay kids now look on a page one. We have Mr Plus and Miss Minus! Does anyone know who they are?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>After a couple more math problems and some doodling activity to engage the bored tykes, it was finally time to go home much to an exhausted Momo’s relief. The sweet, sweet sound of the school bell tolling was almost enough to force the officer on her knees, crying tears of joy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was a long day and Momo did not escape unscathed, her hair covered in glitter in courtesy of a <em>certain</em> <em>student </em>(Chaeyoung) who somehow snuck in a bottle of glitter glue to class and spilled it all over the unassuming officer, citing that her hair was too <em>boring</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo can’t believe that a kid managed to make her self-conscious over her hair style and she twirls a strand with a pout.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>At least she looks pretty according to Tzuyu who was fascinated beyond belief at the pretty sparkles twinkling in her mommy’s hair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Standing up, she pops her back with a groan and rubs at the lower portion. The action causes some of the glitter to twitch loose and fall to the ground and Tzuyu scoops them up, tossign it over her head happily</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With a little skip in her steps Momo feels like a fairy as glitter seems to explode with her ever movement. She even does a small twirl much to the toddler's amusement.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Humming to herself, the officer picks out the small brown bag of bread and gives it to her daughter who happily digs into it, pulling one out for her friend. Seeing the two children munching enthusiastically does alleviate some of the weariness that had settled into Momo’s bones and she looks on fondly, poking Tzuyu’s chubby cheeks when she looks like a hamster.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After stuffing her already full mouth with another bun and causing some crumbs to fall out (Much to Momo’s amusement), Chaeyoung chirps out a ‘Thank you!’ and runs out after Nayeon as the parents who decided to stay were all leaving which prompts Momo to start walking over to Tzuyu’s little cubicle to pick up her bag.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sighs a little as she gazes at her daughter left all alone at the little table, looking even tinier and sullen as all the other kids have either left or are gather in groups and chattering animatedly among themselves.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Excluding the little Hirai.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu doesn’t seem to care much about her classmates, eyes locked onto her mommy as she anxiously waits for her return as evident by her bouncing leg.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo really doesn’t know how Tzuyu is going to handle school by herself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Would she cry all the time? Would she get bullied? How about her studies, would she fall behind? What if she hurts herself at school?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So many concerns swirling in her head gives Momo a pounding headache and she takes a moment to take a deep breath, trying to center herself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Get it together, no point worrying about something that hasn’t and probably won’t ever happen. Tzuyu will be fine, she’s my kid after all.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Still, her hands clenches over the straps of her daughter’s bag and she battles internally with herself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Thinking her mommy was taking far too long, Tzuyu wiggles out of her seat and runs towards her, clinging onto her leg.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Sana floats up behind her, leaning her head on her wife’s shoulder. “Well done today Moguri, you were so good with Tzuyu.” Sana compliments, trying to brush back the strand of hair that lies haphazardly in front of her wife face only for Momo to sneeze rather violently, shocking Tzuyu who jumps lightly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana hopes Momo can feel what she is saying. She knows her wife struggles with being a parent and is constantly worried and tearing herself apart on whether she is doing things right.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Many nights were spent with the officer hunched over various parenting books as she tries desperately to absorb everything, wanting to do right by Tzuyu, to raise her well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Every so-called ‘failure’ on the toddler’s end was taken the hardest by the older woman as she blames herself for every shortcoming, feeling like <em>she</em> has failed her daughter, has failed Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Just the thought of failing her wife <em>again </em>was enough to cause her lungs to constrict as Momo struggles to calm her rapidly spiralling mind. She wants to do just this one little thing right, to just for <em>once </em>not screw up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana wishes she can say “You’re doing so well Momo, I’m <em>so </em>proud of you.” And hug her wife close.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She wishes Momo would believe in herself more, to see what an amazing woman she is and what a wonderful mother she’s being. Sana wishes Tzuyu will know how much she is loved when she sees the way the officer would creep into the toddler’s bedroom after a night shift, carefully not to disturb her daughter as she turns off the nightlight and tucks the blanket snugly against the child.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A little ungraceful when it comes to showing affection and the type to keep her feelings bottled up in her. That is Hirai Momo, the one with so much love to give if only others can see it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana wishes Momo would stop being so hard on herself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, bless you!” Miss Kim appears in front of the officer, surprising the older woman who pulls the little backpack against her, like a shield. “Oops, didn’t mean to startle! I just wanted to thank you for today Mrs Hirai! You’ve been a great help today and I’m so <em>sorry</em> about your hair.” Miss Kim sniggers at how sparkly Momo looks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She bends down to look Tzuyu in the eye “And you have been so brave today! And I have a gift for such a brave little girl.” She presses a small sticker in the shape of a star with the words ‘Terrific!’ on it to Tzuyu who became enamoured with it in seconds, turning it this way and that and gasping when the sticker catches a ray of light and <em>sparkles</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s no problem at all, I’m happy to help and class was really interesting today!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Quirking a brow, the teacher smirks “Really? Which part?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well…I know two plus two is four and not fish…?” Miss Kim snorts and Momo blushes at her weak answer while Sana softens, a fond look appearing on her face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She really misses Momo even the dumb jokes that she likes to crack to which Sana will award her with a half-hearted groan and rolls her eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>She misses Momo.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzuyu, today wasn’t so scary now was it?” The toddler shakes her head which triggers a silly grin to take up half of the teacher’s features from the affirmation. “Would you still want to come back again?” Tzuyu thinks a little, looking at her sticker and back at her mommy’s encouraging face before nodding hesistantly.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I hope I can see you in class again next time?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo winces as she rubs the back on her neck “About that, I would need to check with my supervisor since I’m working long hours at the station. But my girlfriend, Mina, might be able to help!” She ruffles the toddler’s hair “Would you like mama to accompany you baby?” Tzuyu nods eagerly, eyes lighting up at the mention of Mina.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Covering her mouth from surprise, Dahyun lowers her voice “Oh, you’re not married? I’m so sorry for assuming!” She bows apologetically and the officer hurries to stop her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s a common misconception, no worries.” A carefree laugh accompanies her statement and soothes the apologetic teacher tremendously.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even though Momo is smiling as she said it, the look in her eyes tighten minisculely.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her phone beeps loudly, signalling that she just got a message and Momo fishes it out, flicking through her notification to see a recent one from Nayeon which says <em>Where are you??? [Skull emoji] [Crying emoji]</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo sees the timestamp of the message and realizes that it’s getting quite late, deciding to wrap up the conversation now as Tzuyu starting to get a little restless and is tapping her feet impatiently.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maybe it’s because she gave her too much candy? She hopes not or else Mina’s going to kill her for ruining the toddler’s dinner pre-emptively.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry it’s quite late now and Tzuyu usually sleeps early so…”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As if suddenly realizing that the sun was about to set, the teacher quickly ushers Momo out of the classroom, bidding the toddler a bright goodbye before resuming packing. She brushes away Momo’s attempts at helping and assures her that she’s got it under control and stands right at the doorway, blocking the older woman from entering and only then did the officer leave, scooping Tzuyu up in her arms and asking her daughter to wave goodbye.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana walks towards Momo with the intention of following, hands outstretched before she curls her fingers in belatedly and she turns her body to face the whiteboard again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Taking a deep breath, Sana stretches upwards and closes her eyes. She can <em>almost </em>imagine the laughter of children running around and causing chaos. She can <em>almost </em>hear the voices of her students asking her what the lunch menu item for the day was as they jiggle restlessly in their seat.  She can <em>almost </em>feel the stickiness of glue coating her fingers from a crafting session with her class.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She can <em>almost </em>see the little grin on Yerin’s face as she presents her worksheet to her, a perfect score to which Sana will compliment her on before pulling a little treasure box out, shaking it and asking the student to take her pick of the prize for a job well done and encouraging the other jealous students to try just as hard next time, promising to purchase even cooler rewards for them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She can <em>almost </em>feel the anticipation and thrill coursing through her as the clock strikes five as she peeks out of her window and spots Momo dutifully waiting for her outside, hands shoved in her pocket with a bag of pastries for them to share. She can <em>almost </em>feel the touch of Momo’s fingers against hers as they start a slow walk back home, filling the silence with mindless chatter about whether stars have feelings or whether clouds feel pain whenever a lightning bolt tears through it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She can <em>almost </em>feel the gentleness of Momo's lips against her before pulling away slightly and knocking their foreheads together with a breathy "...Hi."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If she tries hard enough…</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana can <em>almost </em>feel normal again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon, Jihyo and Mina were making small talk at the parking area next to Jihyo’s Mercedes, the shortest of the bunch leaning proudly on the hood of her car as she brags about it to a slightly interested Mina.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Well, Jihyo and Mina were talking while Nayeon seems to be sizing the younger Japanese up with her arms crossed tightly against her chest, scrutinizing her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry I took so long; I was talking to the teacher!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo runs out to them, holding Tzuyu up and she pants lightly and Nayeon’s impassive face breaks down to a tender look as she clicks her tongue at Tzuyu, calling for her attention.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hello! I am Nayeon, a friend of your mommy!” Nayeon tried to shake the toddler’s tiny fist as a greeting but only succeeded in causing the child to wiggle deeper into Momo’s neck, a little terrified of the woman’s bulging eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hmm…I guess she didn’t inherit Sana’s friendliness.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t take it too hard Nayeon unnie, she’s really shy. After a few times she’ll warm up I promise.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina rubs at Chaeyoung’s head softly and the child smiles toothily at her. “Bye Chaeyoung, be good to your parents okay? You’ll see Tzuyu again soon.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The shorter woman steps closer to Mina “Bye? Where are you going?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Momo and I were actually planning to go on a dinner date today. So, it’s time we get going if we don’t want to encounter the crowd and this one,” She pokes Tzuyu’s tummy “gets <em>really </em>grumpy if we eat late. Just like her mommy!” She laughs gently, bringing a hand up automatically to hide her mouth.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not wanting to end their meeting so soon, Jihyo scrambles to find something to persuade them to stay. She eyes the way Chaeyoung is circling around Momo like a puppy and Jihyo clasps her hands together, an idea coming to her. “Hey, why not have dinner at the café together? We can catch up and give some time for the kids to play together! Just look at them, they’re already so attached!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You don’t want to be the one to tear them apart so quickly right?” Jihyo lays down the pressure in her words.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon and Momo start to refuse automatically, stammering over their sentences.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hyo I don’t think-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well Mina and I need some time alone-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“That’s a great idea, thank you for inviting us!” The younger Japanese cuts in, accepting the dinner invitation happily while Nayeon stares at her disbelievingly, mouth agape.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer places a hand on Mina’s elbow, attempting to drag her away “Baby, I don’t think that’s a good-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu tilts her face up to look at her mommy, chewing on Minjoong’s ear, eyes wide and pleading and Momo feels her refusal melt away, heart squishing at the hopeful look on her daughter’s face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Peeking down Momo can see the smiling face of the other toddler who still insists on sticking close. Her girlfriend nuzzles close, a pout on her pretty face and the officer feels her resolve crumbling to dust.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It felt like a three versus one situation, one that the officer is losing really badly in.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Hyo, are there any dishes with bulgogi in them? Tzuyu loves those.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay just need to clarify something. Mina is *not* a stalker nor is she obsessed. I won't endorse these kind of behaviors in my story and I'm aware that perhaps Mina comes off weirdly/strongly in some instances but do keep in mind Mina is in her very first relationship with someone she really likes and because of her upbringing she may come off too strongly 😅😅😅</p><p>Some of her actions/choices will be explained a bit more in future chapters so I hope when they're written you will see that Mina isn't a bad person, she's just human with flaws! Momo will be explored later on too.</p><p>This story isn't really in black and white where Mina is either a Saint or a delusional stalker. All characters are grey, just people trying their best in a bad situation (if you get what I mean!)</p><p> <br/>Anyways thank you so much for reading and all the lovely comments are really sweet 🥺 thank you, it really made my day!</p><p>See you next time!</p><p>#TwiceMeetAgain</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>The little bell hung by the door rung out like a shrill cry for help (Maybe Momo was projecting) as Jihyo flung open the door to the café, proudly showing Momo in who was immediately bombarded by a little furry assassin. The puppy taps his paws on the floor excitedly as he circles around officers and whines to be carried up. He stands up on his hind legs and paws at Momo’s pants desperately, seemingly attached to her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh! I see you’ve met Kookeu.” Jihyo picks him up and holds him towards Tzuyu who reaches up to rub behind his ears “He loves Tzuyu a lot, don’t you?” The Pomeranian yips in affirmation as he squirms to get closer to the toddler before Jihyo places him back down.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo gently sets Tzuyu down after the puppy and she opens her arms up to welcome the puppy, giggling when he showers her in licks. Chaeyoung roughly picks up Bbuyo and brings her over to join Tzuyu.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer slowly makes her way into the café with tentative steps as if she was on a minefield, setting down Tzuyu’s bag at the side as she surveys the place.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Something jolts hard in her chest, momentarily stealing her breath when she realizes that <em>nothing </em>has change from the décor to the tables to even the tacky picture of Nayeon smiling cockily in her uniform. Though upon further inspection she spies a faint moustache and monocle doodled on. (Momo thinks this is an improvement from before actually)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Just as she left it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She can easily picture herself leaning over the counter and begging for free samples and Jihyo yanking on her ear as she scolds the Japanese for wilfully emptying the café’s inventory while Nayeon would take advantage of the distraction to steal a bite from the pot.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She can imagine Sana-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No stop. Stop it.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo shakes her head hard, trying to get rid of the intrusive thought and her throat burns when she catches sight of the patchy stain on one of the couches at the side of the room, remembering <em>exactly </em>how that happened.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“C’mon! One more glass!” Sana eagerly pours a bottle of soju into Momo’s cup, drunkenly missing her intended target and spills it all over the couch and Momo’s pants. She gasps as the liquid quickly soaks into the couch, an ugly stain against pure white.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>That had been a favourite pair of jeans, but she couldn’t get mad. Not at the apologetic gleam in Sana’s eyes and her pout as she tries desperately to wipe off the stain, slapping her hands weirdly all over the place. “Jihyo’s gonna be so mad at me…and your pants, you love this so much…” She whimpers, slumping against the officer.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“It’s okay Satang, I’ll tell Hyo that it was me.” Momo slurs, her vision of her girlfriend wobbling “And now this pair of jeans is even more special to me!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As she walks backwards, Momo accidentally bumps onto a table and she quickly reach out to steady it, hands brushes across familiar carvings under her fingertips. Her mind screeches to a halt as her fingers slides into the grooves and curves.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her heart squeezes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Sana </em>She feels and her finger twitches involuntarily before yanking her hands away like she was electrocuted. Momo grabs onto her right hand with her left clutching tight to stop the trembling, reaching for someone who simply just isn’t there anymore.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The empty space on her ring finger <em>burns</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer quickly makes her way back to her girlfriend and wraps her arms around her waist, pulling the younger woman against her and feeling her touch wash away the prickling sensation underneath her palm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She buries her head against Mina’s neck, breathing in deep and she starts counting.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Mina asks, rubbing her thumb across Momo’s knuckles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Mina.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Nothing, I just missed you.” Momo feels some of the heaviness weighing down on her disappear when the corner of Mina’s eyes crinkles up adorably and Momo couldn’t hold herself back from leaving a light peck on her cheeks before trailing down to her lips.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She feels more than see Mina smiling into the kiss.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Mina is safe.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Her fingers twine against her girlfriend’s shirt, the soft material anchoring her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Mina is here.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Letting out a scandalized gasp, Nayeon swiftly covers both Tzuyu’s and Chaeyoung’s eyes and casts a dirty look at her partner. “Hello? There are children present?” Her daughter whines and claws at Nayeon’s hand, trying to remove it and Jihyo gently bonks Nayeon on the head before smiling brightly again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pulling away and knocking their foreheads together, Mina turns to look at Jihyo. “May I visit the ladies? I need to wash my hands first.” Jihyo raises a brow “Didn’t you already wash them back at the preschool?” Mina wiggles her fingers sheepishly “Ah, it’s a force of habit to wash every now and then. More hygienic.” Nayeon gruffly tilts her head to the right, showing the female bathroom sign across the room and Mina gratefully walks off, hands already itching.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Without Mina by her side, Momo feels naked.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. Sana. Sana.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wanna sit at our usual spot?” Jihyo suggests unceasingly, ushering the children towards the table that Momo had scurried away from and the officer feels something twining its way around her neck, choking her. Tzuyu stands before the purple coloured chair, already trying to wiggle herself up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana's seat.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo stands right besides the table, one hand on it as her fingers dip a little on the letters carved there and Momo feels her knees shake as she fights the urge to simply run out of the café and never return.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo feels trapped.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. Sana. Sana.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No thanks, how about sitting here?” The officer nudges a table near her with her foot and the shorter woman’s smile falters, Chaeyoung was already seated there and is trying to pull Tzuyu up next to her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Snapping her fingers to call her daughter over, Momo holds out her hand and waits patiently as the little girl pauses in her ministrations to slowly waddle over, giving a tight smile when Tzuyu reaches up to hold her mommy’s hand.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon watches Momo carefully.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But this is our table! It’s been awhile since we sat together.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I think this spot gives us a better view!” Momo tilts her head towards the window where petals drift down slowly as the sun sets, casting its dying lights over the café and giving it a cosy ambiance. Tzuyu stands on her tippy toes to look out, letting out a soft “Wah.” When she sees how orange the sky looks with a mixture of purple, like one of mama’s paintings. “I just think the kids would like looking out while eating, y’know to entertain them a little.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ah but Chaeyoung is already-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Jihyo.</em>” Momo snaps out as her patience thins dangerously, teeth bared slightly as her jaw clenches hard causing a vein to pop out from the side of her neck and the animalistic state that she was in startles her friend, smile dropping off completely as she instinctively stands between her daughter and Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer backs off immediately when she notices the defensive stance her friend was in, hands raised up half-heartedly and she apologizes “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.” Chaeyoung peeks out from behind Jihyo and Momo directs a small smile at her, head bowed “Sorry Chaeyoung, don’t be scared okay? I didn't mean to.” She looks back at her friend, hands curling at her side.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Just…<em>please</em>.” Momo can’t even bring herself to look at the table anymore.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wordlessly, Jihyo carries Chaeyoung over to where Tzuyu was at, laying a warm hand on Momo’s back. She pulls the taller woman into a one-armed hug, letting Momo lean on her as she squeezes her arm in support.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Jihyo mumbles into Momo’s ear, feeling the Japanese tremble slightly under her touch “I’m so sorry Momo, I didn’t know what I was thinking.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer places a hand over the one Jihyo has laid across her bicep “No, don’t apologize. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I-” She ran a hand across her face, gathering her thoughts “I’ve been getting better these days Hyo, I don’t know why I got so tensed suddenly.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She grinds her teeth together in frustration, dropping her head down on Jihyo’s. “I’m sorry, this was supposed to be a good day but I’m ruining it aren’t I? I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No one is blaming you,” The shorter woman nudges against Momo’s cheeks “take your time okay? We’re here for you, always.” She lets her go, rubbing her back gently with a meaningful look in her eyes before walking off to pick up the menu and Nayeon takes her place, roughly pulling Momo in and she hugs her tightly before pulling back, forming her hand into a fist and smacking it against Momo’s limp one.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We’re partners right? That means we get through everything <em>together</em>. This too will be the same. Baby steps Momo, we can take them together.”” Momo nods, assured by the certainty oozing off Nayeon’s declaration.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Clasping her shoulders, Nayeon guides Momo towards on of the seats “Here, make yourself comfortable! I’ll go grab some drinks.” She runs off, not bothering to ask Mina on what she would like as the younger Japanese slowly eases herself down on the seat in the middle of Momo and Tzuyu.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She gently slides her hand onto Momo’s tensed one, running her fingers softly across as she tries to get her girlfriend to relax enough for her to slip inside. Momo feels the slightly scratchy sensation rubbing over her, looking down and seeing how Mina’s fingers were slightly pink.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer silently opens her hand, accepting Mina and even though the grip was a little painful the younger Japanese doesn’t complain, knowing that Momo needs this as reassurance and she lets her, squeezing back just as hard.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’m here Momo, I’m not going anywhere.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo slides two menus across the table, waiting for their orders and Mina pulls Tzuyu’s chair closer to her so they can share one.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Flipping it open, Momo finds that the items are exactly the same as it was three years ago with the added kids’ section. She spots several of her favourites, each marked with a chef hat symbol labelled <em>Recommended! </em>Which makes her smile to herself, pleased that Jihyo valued her input that much.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everything hasn’t changed aside from-</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Can I get a plate fried rice please?” She asks, folding the menu back up a little harder than intended, snapping it against her fingers and she yelps. Mina instantly grabs her fingers, rubbing them between hers as she tries to soothe her girlfriend and looks over for any signs of a paper cut. Momo pulls her hand back gently with a soft “I’m okay.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And can I get a cold buckwheat noodle set along with,” Mina flips to the kids’ section and lays it flat on the table, allowing Tzuyu to point to what she wants. “a Pororo bento set.” Tzuyu quickly speaks up “Pwease!” which prompts Jihyo to coo over her, delighted at the politeness.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She collects the two menus and hands it back to Jihyo’s awaiting arms, gently nudging Tzuyu with an expectant look in her eyes and the toddler quietly mumbles as she fiddles with the napkins laid on the table. “T-Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With a megawatt smile Jihyo holds the menus close to her as she looks straight at Tzuyu, completely disregarding the adults and her own daughter. “Okay! Auntie will be quick so please wait for a while!” She then turns to Chaeyoung “Would you want japchae today baby?” To which she got an enthusiastic nod.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo bows dramatically “Dinner will be ready soon, please anticipate.” Before heading towards the kitchen with a bounce in her steps, clearly happy about seeing Momo again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Humming a charming tune, Nayeon skips towards their table and serves the drinks she prepared “Here you go!” She pushes a small cup of milk towards Tzuyu, smiling when the toddler shyly reaches for it. Chaeyoung starts to fuss, attempting to climb across the table for the dinosaur plastic cup filled with orange juice and Nayeon quickly shushes her, making sure her daughter was holding the handle properly and she guides the cup to her mouth, cooing when Chaeyoung takes little sips.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And for Momo, your favourite!” She slides a glass of grapefruit ade that fizzles rather loudly, the straw bobbing up with a small plastic clip of a coconut tree tacked at the side of the glass.  She indifferently places a cup of ice water in front of Mina and if she sets the beverage down a little too hard that some water sloshes out, it wasn’t Nayeon’s fault that the cup was too slippery that she couldn’t get a good grip.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina ignores how her sleeves soaked up some of the spilled water, quickly cutting in “Oh, Momo doesn’t like that flavour.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Already put off by the intrusion of the younger Japanese on what could have been a get together between old friends, the Korean rolls her eyes and flattens her lips. “What are you talking about? Momo loves grapefruit ade! She drank this for a <em>year</em> straight during her trainee days when the store across the station introduced it as a menu item,” She looks at her partner, hoping for her to back her up “Isn’t that right?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not listening to the conversation happening in front of her, Momo stares at the bubbles sizzling in the glass, eyes glazed as if she was thinking hard about something.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A small droplet slides its way down the side of the glass, splatting into a tiny puddle on the coaster, causing the colour to darken at just one spot.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She can taste the sickening sweet syrup mixed with the sharp tang of citrus hitting the roof of her mouth.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Baby, I’m not going to kiss you if you drink that!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>Momo puckers her lips exaggeratedly as she moves in on Sana</em> <em>as her girlfriend shrieks playfully, swatting away Momo’s wandering hands that found a place on her hips to pull her close.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She places a short kiss on Sana’s lips and the latter pulls away with a frown, tongue swiping over her lips and she complains smacking a hand on her girlfriend’s chest. “I can never understand why you like it so much; it tastes so gross!” Sana even pretends to gag, tongue sticking out cutely which prompts Momo to kiss her again, this time Sana reciprocating enthusiastically.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana flutters her eyelashes as she smiles into the kiss, musing and teasing the baby hair at the back of Momo’s head “Hmm…maybe it doesn’t taste so bad if it’s from you.” Before going in for another peck.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo’s head hurts <em>really bad</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…I don’t really like it these days.” She twirls the straw, poking into the thin slice of fruit at the bottom before pushing it away with a strained smile.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She feels like puking.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. Sana. Sana.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Why? What changed?” Nayeon asks quizzically, hands shoved into her back pockets as she leans back on her heels.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo shrugs flippantly “I don’t know, just not my taste anymore, I guess. Can I just have some tea please?” Nayeon nods warily, slinking back behind the counter to pull out some tea bags. She eyes Momo in concern, watching the way her partner just seems to fold into herself and Nayeon accidentally pours too much hot water causing it to overflow and burn her fingers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As she brings her fingers up to her mouth to blow on, she sees the way Mina plays with Momo’s hand as she turns it this way and that and Momo smiles briefly, pretending to close her fingers and capturing Mina’s in a small game between the two.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon really doesn’t like her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo pushes past the winging doors at the kitchen, prancing over with her hands full of food and she gently sets them down, doing a little twirl with the bowl filled with japchae and entertaining the toddlers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Dinner is served!” She pulls out two feeding bibs and quickly fastens one on Chaeyoung, looping it around her strongly resisting daughter before holding one out for Mina. “Here, do you need a bib?” She wrangles her angry gremlin as Tzuyu stares. “Chaeyoung here is a <em>really </em>messy eater and I’m sick of constantly having to wash out the food stains.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina gently folds the offered bib neatly and sets it on the table as she pulls a plate towards Tzuyu, cutting the ingredients into smaller pieces suited for a toddler and Tzuyu gratefully picks them up with her wobbling training chopsticks. “It’s okay, Tzuyu is rather neat and careful.” She looks at the toddler “Right? Tzuyu’s a good girl, aren’t you?” And Tzuyu preens at the compliment, dimples poking out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Snorting, Jihyo fastens the clip at the back of the bib, adjusting it so it hangs perfectly in the middle and protects the blue sweatshirt that Chaeyoung is currently wearing “Lucky. Mine always gets sauces in places I didn’t even think could be reached…” She mumbles before placing her thumb at the bottom of Chaeyoung’s hair and spreads her index finger to indicate approximately five inches. “I even had to cut this much off just because her hair was too tangled in paint once.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She then looks at the youngest Hirai who was carefully trying to pick up one quail egg with her chopsticks, whining when the egg keeps popping away and she gives up, opening her mouth as Mina gingerly scoops it in for her. Tzuyu chews slowly with her mouth close and Jihyo looks at her daughter who was attempting to mimic Kookeu digging into his own food bowl and sighs tiredly, inserting a small pair of chopsticks into the toddler’s hands.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Please learn a thing or two about manners from Tzuyu.” She points at the delicate way the toddler would try and pick up the small bits of meat even though she misses her target ninety percent of the time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung ignores her and pulls her hand off the training chopstick. Jihyo gives up, sliding into her seat as Nayeon places down both their meals. Momo whistles when she sees the sizzling hot plate of steak and couldn’t resist a chance to poke fun at her best friend. “What’s this? Did my Nayeon unnie finally learn how to cook? Seems like yesterday that you were using the wrong ends of the knife to cut a strawberry.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Blushing, the Korean stabs a piece of beef and shoves it in Momo’s mouth, lips curling up in amusement when Momo reacts instantly by spitting the food out as she fans her mouth desperately.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer flips the bird after making sure the kids weren’t looking and Nayeon only blows a small kiss at her, winking for effect.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu makes to reach for the rejected glass, staring at Mina with eyes wide with interest and Mina follows the toddler’s gaze to the grapefruit ade, pointing to it and Tzuyu nods as she pulls it towards her. Mina pushes the toddler’s seat back and holds the glass under her mouth, positioning the straw and Tzuyu takes a long sip before pulling a face at the sharp aftertaste.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Laughing at the sour look on the toddler face as she sets the glass away, Mina swipes her thumb under the child’s pouty bottom lip, licking her finger to taste the beverage and makes a small noise of approval. “You don’t like it baby? It’s pretty good!” She picks up her own glass of plain water and offers it to the toddler “Here, this can wash away the icky taste.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu shakes her head left to right, squishing her cheeks with her palms and she sticks out her tongue and the mannerism was just so hauntingly familiar that Momo doesn’t know what to think.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She looks just like-</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Stop, stop thinking about it. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo picks up her spoon and digs into her plate of fried rice before shoving it into her mouth, accidentally biting down on the metal and she winces when her teeth aches.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You’re doing good Momo, just stop.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo digs her nails into her thighs as she carefully sets her face straight, looking neutral and giving a blank smile when Jihyo cracks a joke. She plays with her food, finding bits of bulgogi and scooping them out before reaching across the table and depositing them on Tzuyu’s little plastic bowl, earning a smile of delight from her daughter.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She catches the fond smile Mina cracks for her and she feels her cheeks burning from the attention.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t that bad so long as she just doesn’t look at that table behind them. If she just focuses on the other three adults and two little ones with a cute puppy and kitten on each lap.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As long as she doesn’t look at the pictures scattered across the café, at the little plushies Sana and she won at the carnivals sitting prettily on the couches. As long as she doesn’t look at the pattern on Mina’s cup, the one Sana had painted during one of her ceramic classes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>As long as she doesn’t remember.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She can do that; she can focus on what’s important.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Focus on what she has <em>now</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Looking at the beautiful side profile of Mina, watching how she ducks her head as she laughs at a funny anecdote that Jihyo shared. Her girlfriend leans towards the officer who instinctively moves her shoulder back, giving more space for Mina to cuddle back into as she giggles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The faint scent of jasmine whiffs up towards her nose and Momo closes her eyes, savouring it and her raging thoughts quietens just a bit, replaced by the sound of Mina’s tingling laughter.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She needs to focus on this instead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She starts to count.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>One. Two. Three. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She stares straight at the walls, accidentally finding four handprints splattered in different paint colours that were beginning to fade and chip off at the edges. She looks at the them, a faint smile ghosting across her face when she sees the size difference between hers and Nayeon’s, the latter basically dwarfing the Japanese’s.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her eyes flutter down, catching the sight of a much smaller set of hands plastered on the wall, just below Nayeon’s and Jihyo’s and she sees the name <em>Chaeyoung </em>scribbled messily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Casting a glance at her own daughter, Momo’s heart aches.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What could have-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Four. Five. Six. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Sensing someone is looking at her, Tzuyu looks up just as she breathes in a bit of the pepper flakes and sneezes hard, jolting in her seat and Momo grins when her daughter looks startled, her heart soaring slightly at the cute way her nose scrunches.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Seven. Eight. Nine. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Mina giggles and dabs a napkin over the corner of the toddler’s lips, wiping away some of the sauce smeared there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo looks on.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ten. Eleven. Twelve.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Her fingers relax, loosening its hold on her legs and the dull throb reminds her that she’s still alive.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Still here.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So,” Jihyo twirls a strand of pasta around her fork idly “you didn’t answer me when I asked last time but what do you do as a living?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m a surgeon but I’m currently not on active duty anymore.” Mina strokes the top of Tzuyu’s head lovingly “I can probably go back and take some shifts here and there once this one adjusts to school.” She boops the toddler’s nose and smiles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wow, a doctor! Momo, don’t you like doctors? Remember how you drooled over that pretty actress on hospital playlist?” The shorter woman teases, taking delight in seeing the tip of the officer’s ears turn red.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Really? Maybe I’ll wear my coat around the-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Grunting, Nayeon harshly cuts into her steak noisily, scrapping at the bottom of the porcelain plate and she stabs a piece before biting it off with more teeth than needed. She chews with an open mouth and roughly grabs the bowl of buttered corn in front of Mina, scooping up more than half of its content before dumping it back unceremoniously with a loud clank.<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Momo narrows her eyes at her partner who ignores her, intently focusing on her own dinner.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seeing such a display prompts Chaeyoung to follow her mommy’s example, choosing to forgo her training chopsticks and just digging into her japchae with her bare hands splattering the noodles everywhere.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu stares at her friend and Chaeyoung scoops a handful of noodles and offers it enticingly to Tzuyu who slowly lowers her head to nibble it off the older girl’s hands.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo curses under her breath, whipping out a napkin and cleaning her daughter’s hand with a glare for added measure as she gently nudges Tzuyu’s face away. “No, sweetheart don’t do that. It’s dirty okay? You need to use your chopsticks to eat!” Tzuyu waves her training chopsticks proudly and Jihyo gently pats her cheeks a broad smile, just looking at the toddler’s round eyes before roughly kicking at her wife’s shin, hearing a pained yelp.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Mommy,</em>” Jihyo hisses through clenched teeth “shouldn’t have done that. It was rude and not polite. Isn’t that right Nayeon?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her wife doesn’t say anything, pulling her feet up as she massages at the sore spot, pouting tearily at Jihyo who maintains a steely stare as she tries to move the conversation along.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina tries to catch Nayeon’s gaze repeatedly, but the older woman refuses to look up. Even when being talked to, she either looks at her plate or at Momo instead of the younger Japanese.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina picks a bit at the edges of her napkin, unconsciously tearing it to little pieces.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Now that our kids are going to the same school this means we should arrange more play dates for them!” Jihyo cheers and rubs her hands together, already thinking of all the cute matching outfits she can squeeze the two into.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, and don’t worry too much about childcare! If you ever want to sneak off for a date feel free to leave Tzuyu with us, we will take good care of her and she loves Kookeu!” Jihyo wiggles her eyebrows at Momo “Alone time is important right Momo?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Finally, a smile that is larger than the polite one Mina has plastered on the entire time broke through and she leans slightly towards the older woman. “Really? I don’t want to trouble you-”</p><p> </p><p>Jihyo waves her hands dismissively “Nonsense, we’ll be more than happy to help out! Tzuyu is such a good girl and Momo’s a really close friend so it’s no trouble at all,” She nudges a sullen Nayeon “right?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older Korean refuses to look at Mina, hastily grabbing another piece of steak and stuffing it in as an excuse not to reply. She quickly clears her food and stands up, scrapping her chair across the floor from the force and she grabs the emptied bowls and plates, silently shuffling to the back of the café to wash them. "I'll clean." She mumbles through a mouthful of food and walks away before Jihyo could say anything else.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon pushes pass the swinging doors leading to the kitchen grumpily and sets the items down. She stares at the sauce smeared across the plates and drums her fingers on the counter top, taking a moment to just relax before grabbing a apron down from a handle, swiftly throwing it over herself and tying a knot with more force than intended, wheezing when the apron tightens too much across her navel.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Breathe Nayeon, don’t let her get to you.” She mumbles, loading up the dishes as she turns on the tap. “This is for Momo.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon breathes out noisily, blowing a strand of hair messily away from her face.  </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“This is for Momo.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Setting down her fork, Mina eyes the back view of Nayeon hunching over the plates as she snaps on a pair of rubber gloves and lathers the cutleries in soap. She sees the stubborn frown on the older Korean’s face and makes up her mind to offer some assistance. Standing up, she places her handbag in her seat, squeezing Minguin for courage and giving a quick kiss to Tzuyu’s chubby cheeks before walking over to the kitchen, fluttering her fingers at a concerned Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Quietly pushing open the swinging doors, she holds them open as she slips through so they don’t creak and alert the older woman of her presence just yet.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Taking the time to think of a conversation starter, Mina looks around the kitchen and a tender grin forces its way onto her face when she sees the countless little drawings cluttered all over the fridges, each signed off with the same little strawberry doodled at the bottom.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>No matter where she looks Mina can see the signs of a family everywhere. Can see it in the little stepping stools stewed around for Chaeyoung to step on if she wishes to access the fridge, can see it in the cute plastic cups and plates drying over the rack.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Clearly the wallpaper was neither chosen by Nayeon or Jihyo given the numerous cartoon characters bombarding her eyes, a sharp contrast to the otherwise classy vibe the café is giving off.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She can see it in a tiny employee’s rooster hung low on the wall with <em>Jihyo, Nayeon </em>and <em>Chaengie </em>written on though the latter was filled with her nap schedule instead of work shifts. Mina even spots a much <em>much</em> smaller apron draped on a low hook, one with a little tiger cub printed at the front. She pictures the little toddler helping out with the dishes, wiping the utensils down as she passes them back to her mommy proudly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her hands slid down the doorway, fingers brushing against a notch, rough and jagged against her and Mina looks down and sees a few similar notches decorating the bottom parts of the door. Each of them varying in distance with a small number and year written next to every cut.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung’s height along the years.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina’s heart swells.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>No matter where she looks Mina can see the signs of love everywhere, bathing her in its warmth.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Their home looks naked compared to this café, looks a lot <em>colder </em>in contract to Jihyo’s and Mina wonders if Tzuyu would be interested to participated in some decorating. She had done some online shopping a few days prior and impulsively bought some paint sets to share with the toddler, an activity for them to bond over and explore Tzuyu’s artistic abilities.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maybe Momo can join in if she’s free and the three of them can spend some time together as a family.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She wishes to create memories that everyone can look back fondly on, thinking back to all the shenanigans involved like that time Tzuyu had refused to get dressed after a bath and ran around the house stark naked as Momo yells, chasing and tripping over the coffee table.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The coffee table’s leg has a little bend to it, and it wobbles dangerously when Mina places too much weight on that corner. Momo had offered to replace it but the younger woman adamantly refused.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That table holds a precious memory now, one that causes Mina to smile whenever she looks at it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina wishes to fill their home with love.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Nayeon?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Korean visibly sags, sighing exasperatedly she stacks the plates loudly, each clank causing Mina to flinch as she fingers her coat awkwardly. “What do you want.” Nayeon mutters, roughly pulling the cloth off the hanger and wiping down the stack. Her knuckles turn white from the force of her grip around the plates and Nayeon hopes they won’t crack.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina notices the bite in her statement and tries not to let it show on her face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I just wanted to say thank you for inviting us and for the lovely food, it was delicious.” She fiddles with her fingers when silence greets her. “…And thank you for thanking care of Momo at work, I know she is a little reckless, so it means a lot to have someone looking out for her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Korean hums noncommittally, not sparing a glance to the younger woman and she wipes her hands down on her apron with a bored look, shuffling past her and bumping their shoulders causing Mina to stumble slightly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Do you need any help? I can help with the inventory or anything you’ll like me to do.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon ignores her, making to take a step into the storeroom to grab some juice boxes for the children, but Mina quickly blocks her, hands pushing against the older woman’s shoulders, halting her movement and forcing eye contact.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hi, did you hear what I said?” Mina tries again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She clicks her tongue loudly when the Japanese still won’t take the hint and leave her be, stubbornly choosing to hover by the doorway and trying to strike up a conversation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon <em>hates </em>her guts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her gaze was cold, so extremely cold with not a hint of warmth or friendliness in its dark depths and Mina feels herself tensing up in response. “Look, I really don’t like or care much about you. The only reason we invited you was because of Momo and Tzuyu, okay?” She points to Mina and back to herself “You and me? We’re never gonna be friends so save it. Stop trying to squeeze your way in, you don’t belong with us and you never will.” She mutters.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Jihyo likes me.” Perhaps she was being a little childish seeing as how she was reeling from the sudden confession from Nayeon that she couldn’t hold herself back from snapping. Feeling the need to defend herself and suddenly it was as if she was sixteen again and in her parents’ mansion with her mother staring her down with those cold eyes of hers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You will never be good enough.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But <em>I don’t</em>, so as long as I’m here I don’t want to see you. You can meet up with my wife and kid if you want but <em>stay the hell away from me</em>.” She punctuates each word with a jab to Mina’s chest, pushing her back as she unties her apron and tosses it over a chair in a huff.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon reaches in and pulls two small juice boxes out and makes her way out, flicking off the light switch, uncaring about the way Mina was completely shrouded in darkness.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Do you hate me?” Mina asks blankly, voice soft and meek.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yes.” Nayeon didn’t even look back as she walks towards her family and smiles widely at Momo, pretending she didn’t just have a heated discussion with the woman’s girlfriend.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina took a while to process her thoughts and her fingers feel numb. There is this buzzing sound in her ears and she leans back against the wall, clutching her chest. She feels her heart thundering painfully beneath her fingertips, each pulse causes something to stretch within her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You will never be good enough.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not true.” She argues weakly against her thoughts. “Momo loves me, so does Tzuyu.” She thinks of the small dimpled smile the toddler always gives her when she wakes her up in the morning and her heart slows down slightly. “I’m good enough for them, that’s all I need.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You will never be enough for them, don’t you see? Stop wasting your time trying to chase foolish dreams. Even Nayeon, who doesn’t know you, already hates your existence. Just like everyone else</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I bet Jihyo is only pitying you. The moment you leave she’s just going to gossip behind your back. She even questioned you when you went to the washroom, she’s going to think you’re a freak.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Mina instinctively hides her hands, feeling the slightly flaky skin and the redness on her knuckles and her vision blurs. “No. Jihyo isn’t like that. She’s nice and-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Please, you don’t even know her. She’s probably just acting nice and getting you to where she wants you to be. You know why? Because you’re just not good enough for anyone much less Momo and her daughter. Tzuyu deserves more than you can ever give her. Something more than a freak, a reject.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not a freak! I just-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Do you think Momo noticed? Or is she too nice to say anything? I wonder if your colleagues saw as well, maybe that’s why they hate you. Because you’re not qualified for anything other than being born into the right family.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Then I will prove myself,” Mina pushes herself up “I’ll show everyone that I can be what they need me to be. That I can step up” She splays her fingers and the trembling lessens. “I’ll show them that I’m good for Momo and Tzuyu, that they like me too.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She thinks of the way Tzuyu would trust Mina to comb her hair instead of Momo, running into her lap when she feels sleepy. She thinks of the way Momo would give her a back hug as she fusses over breakfast, giving her a lingering kiss on her cheek while mumbling “Mornin’ beautiful.” hotly into her hair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…They chose me.” She says out loud “I <em>am </em>good enough. Maybe not to my parents or the world but I don’t care about them. As long as Tzuyu…as long as Momo continues to choose me then I’m good enough.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The voice in her head doesn’t reply.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She breathes out shakily, feeling the sweat gather on her forehead as she slowly makes her way out of the suffocating darkness.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sees the way Momo leans back on her chair as she laughs at Nayeon, eyes crinkled up adorably as she notices Mina walking towards her and she opens up her arms to welcome her girlfriend. Mina leans into the warm embrace and she rests her chin on the older woman’s shoulder, breathing in the fresh scent of Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Baby? What took you so long?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She chose me.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“I was just rearranging some cloths and wiping up the sink.”</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu reaches one pudgy hand out and touches Mina’s who cracks one eye open.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Tzuyu chose me.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She bats the toddler’s hand playfully, teasing her fingers before holding it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I am good enough, at least for them.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>And that’s all Mina needs.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Momoring? Can we take a polaroid for that wall?” Mina points towards the picture-covered wall with a hopeful glint in her eyes and Momo’s eyes immediately goes to the centre of the wall, covered with numerous other pictures that it was a little hard to spot unless you already know it was there. To the oldest looking polaroid stuck there and her heart thumps.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sees the smiles on their faces.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sees a much younger Nayeon and Jihyo messing around.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sees <em>Sana.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The walls start to feel like they are closing in, trapping her and Momo faintly feels herself stiffening in Mina’s arms, back going ramrod straight.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Something is pushing its way up her throat, digging and forcing its way out and Momo feels her head aching. She places her fingers against her left forearm, feeling the clammy touch and <em>claws down</em>, leaving angry welts in its wake.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The stinging pain relieves Momo slightly, the haze swirling around her mind clearing while Mina immediately grabs onto her and pries her fingers off one by one, a worried frown as she looks at the red marks littering the expanse of her arm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The younger woman bites the insides of her cheeks, holding back her words as she laces her fingers with Momo’s and holds it tightly against her which Momo is grateful for, the gentle weight in hers anchors the officer and she takes a deep breath, swallowing hard and tears her eyes away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Mina’s fingers are too long and too thin.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Her palm is jagged with small cuts from surgical and cooking mishaps. Her skin is a little rough to the touch and the older woman shudders slightly.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo briefly feels around the band-aid wrapped around her thumb and wonders how she got this.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Sana has one scar on her middle finger, circling around the flesh from fooling around with a penknife and another on the pad of her index finger, a paper cut that was too deep to recover properly.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A souvenir from her origami phase.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Mina feels so cold in her grip and Momo rubs her hands together, breathing down warmly and the younger woman’s lips twitches up fondly. Her girlfriend touches the officer’s face with her free hand, gently cupping her cheek. Her eyes shine with unabashed affection.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her fingers completely encase the side of Momo’s face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Too wide.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The older woman presses Mina’s hand against her cheek before pulling it towards her and planting a tender kiss on her palm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Mina feels-</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She closes her eyes when her girlfriend curls her fingers inwards, playing with her fringe. It feels like only the two of them exists in this room currently, everything fading out of focus as Momo focuses on Mina and Mina alone.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Wrong. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“I’m okay baby, thank you.” Momo says as sincerely as she can, peering deep into Mina’s eyes as she leans forward, glancing to the sight just in time to see Jihyo covering the children’s eyes as she winks teasingly at the Japanese.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure? You zoned out a little back there.” Mina brushes her bangs out of the way, fingers lingering on her brows tenderly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Just thinking,” Momo looks back at the wall, determined to focus on the small empty space near the top “there are so many polaroids, ours will just get lost in there.” She hears a small whine emerging from her girlfriend and she quickly gives her a light peck, placating the younger woman. “Let’s take one and place it at home? Or maybe we can have two, one for you and me to keep in our wallets or something?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Rather happy with the suggestion, Mina nods happily and Momo turns to Jihyo “Hey Hyo, mind taking two pictures of us? With Tzuyu of course.” She gestures for her daughter who grabs onto Minjoong before toddling over and reaching up for a hug.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon looks away, hands grabbing onto her pants as she tightens her fist.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo fiddles with the camera placed by a small cart near the wall, checking the available film before positioning herself and Chaeyoung forces her way between her legs. “Okay, one…two,”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tilting her head slightly so her cheek is nestled on top of Mina’s head, Momo glances down and sees the protective way her girlfriend was holding onto Tzuyu, cradling her in such a way that she is right in the middle of the two adults and the toddler holds up both of Minjoong’s paws.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina shifts her head a little to the left so her face is angled at Momo, smiling sweetly and Momo feels something twisting deeper into her heart.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This is her family.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Three!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She realizes she forgot to look at the camera as Jihyo shouts out, two bright flashes nearly blind Momo as she blinks repeatedly, trying to clear the black spots dotting her visions.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Walking over, Jihyo fans two polaroids before handing it over to an enthused Mina who shares it with Tzuyu. “Here, hope my skills isn’t too rusty yet!” Tzuyu stares at the black frame, confused as to what she is seeing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Once the images start to fade in Mina suddenly softens and melts against the toddler in her arms as a silly smile takes up half her face. She peeks at Momo beneath her lashes, a warm look in her eyes as the officer leans over her shoulder wondering why the younger Japanese was so smiley suddenly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The picture was rather standard, a toddler who was dwarfed by her plushie and only her eyes were peeking out. Mina had her eyes closed in anticipation of the flash; pearly whites displayed in a wide grin as she cuddles Tzuyu against herself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But Momo, she sees herself looking tenderly at Mina, a hand wrapped around her waist as another plays with Tzuyu’s little one. She sees a small smile curling at the edges of her lips as she nuzzles against her girlfriend.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was barely a smile to be honest, just a tiny upwards twitch of her mouth that would be unnoticeable if one didn’t think to look.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But it was <em>real</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo reckons that she actually looks happy there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo doesn’t know what to think.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Its beautiful Jihyo,” Mina holds the two polaroids to her chest and she gives a wobbly smile to the older woman, pulling her into a sudden hug. “thank you. I love it so much.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo laughs heartily, hugging back tightly before pulling back. “No problem! Hey, can you give me your phone for a sec?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not really understanding why but feeling particularly pliant, Mina complies and fishes her phone out from her back pocket and unlocks it before handing it over to an impatient Jihyo who was bouncing on her toes. Mina slides the pictures delicately into her wallet, making a mental note to pass one to Momo when they reached home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo frown a little when she looks at the navigation page, a little unused to this model and she uses one finger to tap and swipe, pouting when she couldn’t find what she was looking for. She swats away Nayeon’s trespassing hand, refusing to accept any help.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A sudden “Aha!” and some furious typing later, Jihyo plops the phone back into Mina’s backpocket and gives her butt a little pat and she grins cheekily. “I keyed in Nayeon’s number-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo ignores the outrage “So in case you need to reach anyone at Momo’s job you can look for her.” She stares at the officer “This one gets injured a lot and she doesn’t like telling anyone. Even someone she has known for <em>thirteen years</em>.” She says pointedly before flashing a sincere smile at Mina “Feel free to call my wife if you need anything okay? I’ll make sure she helps.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina faintly hears Nayeon mutter under her breath about how she wasn’t ever going to pick up her call but at this moment that low jab didn’t even register. All Mina can think about if the soft look on Jihyo’s face and the bright smile directed at her, welcoming her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She feels a small bud of hope unfurling within her, perhaps this time she will finally be able to connect with someone. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>A friend.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“…Thank you Jihyo.” She holds onto one of Jihyo’s hands and squeezes a little. “Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There is nothing else she can say but thank you and she hopes the Korean understands what she is trying to convey.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No need to thank me, we’re friends aren’t we?” Jihyo jerks a thumb back at Chaeyoung and Tzuyu “Pretty sure those two will be attached to the hip soon enough.” At that moment, Tzuyu plops down on the floor as she yawns, hugging Minjoong close to her as she slumps forward a little, drained from the day she had.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Mina walks towards the toddler, gently rubbing her back before picking her up “Sleepy?” Tzuyu nods, curling up against her and already drifting off.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Momo?” Her girlfriend who had been speaking quietly with Nayeon perks up at the mention of her name, running over to her side in an instant.  She shows Momo the toddler napping away and the officer nods as she quickly bids goodbye.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry but Tzuyu needs to sleep already, see you guys next time?” She offers tentatively before getting socked in the arm by an irate Jihyo. “Of course you’re going to see us! You better not come up with an excuse to bail.” She threatens, wringing Momo’s ear and the officer hisses weakly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ow!” she pushes off Jihyo, rubbing at the tender spot “I don’t make excuses! It’s just bad timing okay…” She mutters unconvincingly, pouting when Jihyo’s face remains so still that it seems to be carved out of stone with how emotionless she looks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Fine, I’ll see what I can do.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon clears her throat “Maybe next time it can just be the <em>three </em>of us and the kids? Y’know, some catch up between <em>old friends</em>?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina deflates at the implication, burying her face into Tzuyu’s soft hair as she turns away from Nayeon. She bites down hard on her lips as she swallows back the bitter words coating the tip of her tongue, refusing to cause a strife between Momo and her partner. <em>It's okay </em>She reasons with herself <em>Nayeon doesn't know me yet, I can show her that I'm good for Momo. I'll gain her trust.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>However, Momo wasn’t quite as forgiving as her girlfriend. “What do you mean?” She accuses, eyes narrowed as she thinks back to the frosty reception bestowed upon Mina by her partner throughout dinner. And don't think she didn't notice the solemn look on Mina’s face as she returns back from her talk with Nayeon, shrinking into herself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Defensively, Nayeon quips “I’m just saying I want some alone time with you and Jihyo. Is it wrong of me? We haven’t really hung out properly these days. I miss you, that’s all.” Nayeon folds her arms across her chest, kicking at the floor “Just…some partner time alright?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo slumps her shoulders, softening when she sees the faint vulnerability flitting across the Korean’s face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Has it really been that long?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Honestly, she doesn’t know. Between caring for Tzuyu and working on the case, it has left Momo with very little time for anything else. She doesn’t even spend much time with Mina aside from coming back from dinner and she lives with the woman. Sometimes she doesn’t even return home for the night, choosing to hunch over file documents.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo wasn’t like this before. In fact, she used to be the first to tap out at five if she doesn’t have any due cases just to-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She gently ushers Mina out the door, bending down to grab Tzuyu’s bag off the floor as she slings it across her shoulders. She locks eyes with Nayeon as she adjusts her fingers to form a <em>Call Me </em>sign and puts it near her ear.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon nods, arms still folded as she sniffs hard.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo holds Chaeyoung up, the two of them waving as the Momo slowly walks down the steps. Tzuyu wakes up briefly and stares sleepily at Chaeyoung, waving back lethargically before slumping back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>For some reason, when Momo slowly pulls the door shut to avoid hitting the bell, she couldn’t shake of the feeling of uneasiness wading underneath her skin.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Cookie for anyone who can guess why Momo counts to twelve :D</p><p>Also thank you so much for the 215 Kudos! I'm happy you guys love this story &gt;&lt;</p><p>Feel free to follow me @Bananamilk4life if you would like to talk or use #TwiceMeetAgain :D</p><p>See you next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>“Number twenty-two, you’re up next!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo stands abruptly when her number was called, nearly tripping over the other participants seated in a cramped space as she hurries over to the vacant seat, settling down awkwardly and slides her photo album along with a bag filled with assorted bread over before tugging down her mask.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“H-Hello.” Her voice squeaks and Momo mentally facepalms from embarrassment.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dimples deepen as Chou Tzuyu flashes a charismatic smile at Momo, pulling out a marker as she readies herself to sign. “Hello, thank you for coming!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Is this for me?” she points her marker toward the bread and Momo nods “It’s your favourite isn’t it? I got it fresh this morning!” The officer nudges it towards the actress.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Opening the bag marginally and instantly the smell of freshly buttered and toasted pastries filled the auditorium. Momo’s stomach grumbles in interest and the Japanese slouches over, trying to muffle the rumbling.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you! It smells great, can’t wait to have it during my break.” Tzuyu hands the bag towards one of the stage managers who deposits it next to a dozen other similar bags. Evidently Momo wasn’t the only one to come up with the idea, no wonder the bakery’s queue was so long today.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu smiles brightly at Momo, charm oozing out “What is your name?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo stutters, momentarily disoriented by her breath-taking beauty “Uh-! Erm, this is for my wife, Sana. She’s a huge fan!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The acclaimed actress nods, mouthing the syllables as she writes “<em>To: Sana” </em>hands flying across the cover page with fancy loops and curves.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So, how long have you been married?” The actresses ask as she doodles a smiley face to the end of Sana’s name, slowly scribbling a heartfelt message to Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer hesitates before nervously pushing out “Seven…this year would be our eight.” She rubs her neck shyly “I’ve known her all my life actually.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu whistles in disbelief “Wow, that’s really long! Congratulations!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older woman smiles faintly, fingers twitching “Thank you.” She then digs into her pockets and pulls out her phone, selecting a picture of Sana crying over a cardboard cut-out of Chou Tzuyu, mascara running down her cheeks. “This is Sana.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu covers her mouth as she laughs, eyes crinkling upwards from her grin “Oh she’s lovely!” she takes a closer look “She’s really pretty, you got lucky huh?” Tzuyu ends with a wink and Momo falters, staring at the picture and she suddenly feels hollow, every beat of her heart threatening to crush her lungs. Every breath she takes carves out a name under her skin, one she sees whenever she closes her eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Screaming.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. Sana. Sana.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p> “Yeah…yeah I am, aren’t I? The <em>luckiest</em>.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why did you have to go?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Unable to bear the direction in which her thoughts were headed, Momo then swipes to a picture of her daughter, trying to prevent herself from breaking down and showing it to Tzuyu again. “This is our daughter, Tzuyu.” At the actress’s surprised look, Momo clarifies “We named her after you,” Momo gives a tight-lipped smile “we thought your name was beautiful and my wife wanted our daughter to take after your character like being selfless and kind.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Setting her phone down and crossing her legs at the ankles, Momo continues “We saw how you anonymously donated three million won to the cancer society for kids back when you were still a rookie and wasn’t earning that much. That’s not all, thanks to Dispatch we know you’re a regular at the local shelter and you frequently donate to disaster relief funds. I think its admirable how you didn’t even want the recognition or anything, just wishing to help however you can and that really moved Sana.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“To be honest, many celebrities both big and small would be selfish and uncaring as these issues do not affect them directly or they would make a big show of donating and paint themselves in a good light. But not you, you’re different. You’re genuinely kind.” Momo looks down at her daughter’s picture and her voice quietens, just barely audible as she mumbles to herself. “You’re what I hope my daughter would grow up to be like.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu’s eyes soften and she looks at the little girl cuddling her plushie in the pictures, eyes shining with childlike curiosity. “That is the sweetest thing anyone has said to me…” She hides her face, sniffing a little and Momo panics when she spots the glint of tears. “Your daughter is really cute and I’m so happy you think of me as a role model for her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The actress discreetly wipes them away, waving away a concerned looking manager who glares harshly at Momo and the older woman shrinks in her seat, sitting on her hands, adding a few more sentences to her personalized message “Sorry for that,” She clears her throat, trying to continue with the fanmeeting. “What is your favourite drama?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A title comes straight into her mind and a bittersweet smile carved its way on Momo’s face. “We really liked <em>In Another Life</em>, especially when the two main characters ended up with one another in the end, even after failing to do so in their first life. It was touching how they managed to keep a few memories of each other throughout their different lifetimes, something to guide them to the other.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She briefly thinks back to the small stack of CDs hidden in her cabinet, the one that she had burned every episode of the drama to them just so Sana can re-watch it whenever she likes.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She wonders if there are TVs in Heaven so her wife can continue picking up where she left off on her dramas and movies.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She wonders if Sana is happy.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu brightens up at her explanation, nodding along enthusiastically “Ah! That’s one of my favourites works actually!” She twirls the marker idly “I liked to think that the two characters were actually soulmates, bound by the strings of fate that their meeting was unavoidable.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Clicking her tongue, Tzuyu smiles sweetly at the officer. “There’s this saying that resonated in me when I was filming the drama. It’s 天缘巧合, it means if you’re meant to meet, you will because the Heavens themselves arranged it and there is nothing in the world that can stop you. Which is what I felt happened with the main characters. Isn’t that a nice thought? That there’s someone out there that’s waiting for you. A soul that has been matched with you, a partner in every sense. Someone that is <em>yours</em>.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I do have someone like that. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Her name is Sana.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We call it 缘分 in mandarin,” Tzuyu writes the word down on the photo album and Momo is a little intimidated by the complicated characters. “it means something like…” Tzuyu purses her lips as she tries to find the correct word to describe it “…fate or destiny. Even if they couldn’t be together in this life for some reason, they would always find their way back because they’re destined for each other.” She then sighs a little dreamily “I wish I had something like that, don’t you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Destined</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo plays with the strings on her hoodie, a little distracted “…That’s how I feel with my wife honestly. What I feel for her is…” Unable to find the appropriate word in Korean, she mutters “恋の予感, meeting someone and feeling like you <em>will</em> fall in love at some point. It’s written in the stars and no matter what you do, it’s going to happen anyways. And I think that’s what happened to Sana and me, when we announced we were dating no one seemed shocked. All they said was ‘About time’. Apparently, our family were betting on us.” Momo laughs cheerfully.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It felt like my fate was sealed the moment we met as kids when her mother brought her over for lunch, like there was no other path for us that did not include falling in love. That it was unavoidable…that there will <em>always </em>be a Sana for me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was inevitable.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Sana </em>was inevitable.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her heart thumps loudly in her chest at the thought of her wife, thinks about the smile she gave only to her and her alone as she leans her chin forward on her knees, looking tenderly at the officer. Thinks about the way Sana’s eyes creases at the side so beautifully, thinks about how she glows whenever she smiles, lighting up the room she is in and how soft her hair feels to the touch and how warm her hands feel in hers. Thinks about how Sana would laugh to herself, ticklish as Momo noses against the side of her face, peppering kisses until her giggles turns to soft moans. Thinks about how Sana feels against her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And she <em>aches</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. Sana. Sana.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Her very name had been unknowingly tattooed onto Momo’s heart and now it burns so fiercely that it takes everything in Momo not to double over and weep as the pain sears through her, reminding her of all that she has lost. It tears through her, ending up in the tiniest wheeze that Momo lets out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo wonders what it would take for the pain to stop, for her to just stop crying and feeling like she’s being torn apart every single time she even <em>thinks</em> of her. She wonders if Sana could hear just how loudly she had been screaming for her all these years, pleading and praying and begging.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How could she ever move past this pain? How could she when Sana is all she’s ever known, has ever loved even before she knew what that word meant. How could she when Sana is the only thing her heart has ever learnt to say. How could she when her eyes desperately soar through the endless crowd without intending to, searching and searching for those eyes that she craves so much that her bones shudder and ending up disappointed every single time. How could she when there is a hole in her heart that only Sana can fill, that only Sana can touch.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How could she, when every breath she takes only reminds her of how much she loves her.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Momo was never one for religion, always scoffing at the thought of Heaven and angels but now she finds herself praying with everything she has that her local pastor is right. That Sana is now safe up there, surrounded by the love and eternal happiness that was promised. If she could ever make a request with God, if she could exchange all the good karma she has accumulated throughout her life, if she has to sell her soul just to get one wish made true, it would be this. That Sana isn’t hurting anymore.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Through the haze of her mind, she toys with the idea of being soulmates with Sana and the thought that they are destined to meet in every lifetime they share alleviates the pain slightly, bringing a wry smile to her face. She imagines a little red string connecting the two of them, linking them now even if Sana is currently somewhere she can’t follow.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That she still has a little piece of Sana with her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Fated</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She likes the sound of that, the promise that no matter where she is, she’ll would always find her way back to Sana. Like there is a compass imprinted in her heart that is dedicated to Sana, spinning and spinning as it guides her back home. Back into Sana’s awaiting arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It gives her hope.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>“…She’s it for me.” Tzuyu squeals at Momo’s heartfelt declaration, hammering her fists gently down the table and the Japanese blushes, embarrassed at being so mushy as she scratches her cheek shyly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Aww, you’re adorable!” She wiggles her eyebrows and giggles when Momo tries to avert her gaze “How did you two meet?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We grew up together actually, she lived just next door.” Momo instinctively looks down at her ring finger, lungs constricting when she sees a faint tan line and she quickly pulls her hands back into her sleeve. “W-We’re born almost just two months apart. Same hospital and we went to the same school all the way to university. She even came to Korea with me.” Momo’s lips twitches up, features smoothening into something sweet and Tzuyu quietens, listening intently.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“When I was born I had to stay in the hospital for around a month because my lungs were weak,” A faraway look on her face, eyes heavy with something that Tzuyu couldn’t quite identify. “Sana used to joke that baby me was actually waiting to meet her, that’s why I had to stay there. Oddly enough, the day she was born was the day I was discharged. Sounds pretty much like fate, doesn’t it?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu agrees.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“She was that annoying kid that wouldn’t leave me alone you know? She always followed me around even when I ignored her. Kind of like your love interest in the show!” Momo laughs wetly “Maybe that’s why I like the series so much, it reminded me of us, and it gave me hope as well, that I would still be able to find her in our next life.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“That this isn’t the end of <em>us</em>.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo feels her sight blurring and she ducks her head, trying to blink back tears when she feels a soft hand on top of hers. She looks back up and sees the tender look spread across the actress’s face “You really love her, don’t you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo nods jerkily, opening her hand out slightly to hold Tzuyu’s “…More than anything in the world.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You should tell her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…I wished I said it more often. It’s a little too late now.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu opens her mouth when she notices the crestfallen look on her fan when the timer sets off, her manager harrumphed and gestures Momo to leave when the older woman quickly picks up her phone, waving it frantically, swiping to a lone shot of Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wait, wait!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo pauses as she eyes the menacing manager warily before dropping her voice down to a whisper, Tzuyu leaning in conspiratorially.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“If it’s not too much trouble, would you mind taking a picture with my phone next to you? My wife is…on a vacation and she was so upset at missing out on this fanmeet opportunity. So, could I get a picture of you and her together? She’ll love it.” Momo pleads and Tzuyu nods resolutely before calling over a kinder looking manager.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oppa, could you take a picture of me?” Tzuyu holds up Momo’s phone delicately and she sees the fond smile on Sana’s face as she smiles at the person behind the camera, presumably Momo. Tzuyu could almost feel the love radiating off the picture.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>How sweet… </em>She thinks as her lips twitches up on their own volition, striking a pose next to the picture.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo twists her fingers in her lap, thoughtfully looking on as Tzuyu strikes yet another pose, this time puckering up her lips exaggeratedly, hoping to give as many pictures as she can to her fan.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Tzuyu said you’re pretty, I bet you’re dying of happiness, now aren’t you? </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>She gratefully accepts her phone back as the manager forwards the pictures to Momo and her screen lights up with multiple notifications, totalling to fifty new pictures. She randomly clicks on one and was greeted with the sight of Tzuyu sending flying kisses towards the picture, holding the phone close to her face as if they’re best friends and Momo’s heart wobbles in its cage, shaking the bars and demanding to be let out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana would absolutely love this.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She scoops the album up, holding it close to her chest and she bows low, forehead almost touching the table. “Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyy waves profusely as Momo walks away “See you! I hope your wife comes next time!” And Momo squeezes her eyes shut, each step feeling impossibly heavy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>I’m home-”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“What is <em>this?</em>” Mina demands incredulously, gesturing to the boxes and boxes cluttered around their living room and slightly blocking the doorway.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Photo albums?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Of <em>who</em>?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu tiptoes and peeks into one, pulling out an album with her namesake smiling bewitchingly on the cover. She toddles over to Mina, waving around her find and Mina accepts it, lips flattening into a line.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Tzuyu</em>?” The toddler perks up at her name and Mina shakes her head, gently shooing the child away “Not you baby,” She flips the book around “this Tzuyu.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The toddler frowns and stares at the woman on the cover before touching the book softly “…Me?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We named you after her.” Momo walks over and pulls her daughter in for a hug, Tzuyu letting out a small noise of confusion and she sucks lightly on her thumb in thought.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Is she a faiwy?” Momo shakes her head “No, she’s human. A very pretty human.” And Tzuyu deflates in disappointment, judging the actress with narrowed eyes as she finds nothing special about her. “…Oh.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Somewhere in Seoul the actress feels an arrow stabbing into her)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why not Forky?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo’s eyes widen in surprise “Why not what? What Forky?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu plays with Momo’s drawstrings, batting it aimlessly. “…My name. Why not Forky?” She gazes up at her Mommy with a sincere look in her eyes and Momo can’t find it in her to laugh. “Mommy likes Forky. And Mommy likes me. Why not Forky?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo feels herself melting at the innocent question and she swoops in, peppering kisses all over Tzuyu’s face and she laughs softly, holding her Mommy close and Mina feels her annoyance draining out of her at the domestic scene.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mommy loves Tzuyu the most,” She pecks her daughter’s nose “Tzuyu is the best,” Another peck “Hirai Tzuyu!” She ends off with a tight hug and Tzuyu snuggles deeply into her neck, enjoying the warmth.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo cradles Tzuyu for a little while longer, contented with just inhaling the soft scent of her shampoo as Tzuyu drapes herself over her mommy’s shoulder, happy to be held. She perks up slightly when she notices the time before untangling herself from Momo, mumbling something about needing to have a tea party with Minjoong as she waddles into her bedroom.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older woman stares as her daughter disappears into her room before slowly standsing up as she walks towards the nearest box before packing everything in neatly and she picks one up, grunting as she shifts them and stacking them up at a corner. She twists her wrist clockwise when she feels a tug in her muscles, wincing at how heavy the photo albums were.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I knew you liked her drama, but I didn’t know you liked her this much.” Mina follows Momo around as her girlfriend stiffly pushes the boxes to the side of the living room.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m a huge fan.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina frowns, hands on her hips. “I’ve never heard you-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo stands up, cracking her back and she dusts her hands off on her pants impatiently. “Look, can you please drop it? I bought this cause I wanted to enter the fanmeet okay? I’ll take care of these boxes so don’t worry too much. Sorry for the mess.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She picks up her bag carefully and slinks into her study, closing the door quietly and missing the tiny flicker of hurt flashing across Mina’s face as she slumps down on her chair. Momo rubs her eyes and picks up a framed picture of Sana smiling happily at a fatigued Momo carrying around a carnival teddy bear. Momo sweeps a few of her case files off her desk, not really feeling in the mood to stare at them again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey Satang, how are you today? I ate some onigiri this afternoon but it wasn’t that good actually. I think they needed more seasoning, it felt like I was nibbling on sandpaper.” She starts off mindlessly, hyper focused on Sana’s smile and she presses her fingers against the frame, thumb trailing along the side of Sana’s jaw and she can almost imagine the feel of Sana underneath her fingertips.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana, can you hear me?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Anyways, I did it, I got her signature for you.” She rests her chin on her palm as she gazes at Sana. “You won’t believe how many albums I had to buy to get into this fanmeet! You were right though; she is very pretty. I understand why you’ll trade me for her.” She chuckles mirthlessly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Man, her photo albums caused a bomb and Mina isn’t really happy with me now…but I promised you, didn’t I?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana just smiles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Eternal, beautiful and dead.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo bites her lip at the stifling silence.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Also, I got you some pictures with her, look!” Momo scrolls through her gallery, boastfully showing off the pictures to Sana and Momo swears she could hear Sana’s overjoyed squeal ringing in her ears.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I showed her the one of you crying over the cardboard, sorry for that but it was too funny to let up. Tzuyu thought you were pretty though...can’t believe we share the same taste in women.” Momo mutters, a fond look on her face as she cradles the picture frame gently like it was something precious.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, right. Tzuyu wrote a message for you on the album. I wonder what she wrote…” Momo digs into her bag, pulling out the signed photobook and stares at it, her smile slowly slips off her face with every word she reads, further twisting the knife lodged in her heart deeper and deeper.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>To: Sana </em> <em>😊, my greatest fan.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Thank you so much for your support, I’m extremely grateful for your love! I’m glad both you and your wife enjoy my projects, I try to take on as many different roles as possible to appeal to everyone, so it means a lot when you like every single one that I did.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Even though we never met, I can tell you are a very kind and lovely person from what your wife shared with me (You’re extremely lucky to get someone who loves you so much, I hope I would be as lucky as you someday.)</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>P.S. Your daughter is very cute, thank you for naming her after me! Fans have always gifted me various items, but this is the first time anyone has named their child after me…I’m grateful that you chose me to be a role model and I promise to work hard so she can be proud of who she was named after.</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>Also, could you maybe bring her along to the next fanmeet? I would love to meet the both of you! I’ll even give you some special gifts XD (Don’t tell anyone else!)</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I would be waiting &lt;3</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- 周子瑜</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>A tear makes it way to the album, splattering against the written words and Momo hurriedly dabs it away, worried about smudging the words. She wipes her sleeve across her nose as she sniffs hard and she feels herself cracking beneath the surface while she desperately tries to hold it together as her edges start to fray.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The 缘分 written there seems to taunt her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Breathe Momo, breathe.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“I-I hope you’re bragging in heaven right now, about how your wife is so awesome,” She grips the album tightly, every inch of her wishing she could have given it to Sana and see how her eyes would light up and the smile she would gift Momo. “I bet none of the other angels ever had a signed album from Tzuyu.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. Sana. Sana.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Momo wheezes slightly as she struggles to control her breathing, burying her head in the crook of her elbow as she lies down on her desk, breathing noisily as she tries to wrestle back her tears. She bites down hard on her arm, unwilling to let even the slightest of noise escape her lest she alerts Mina of her distress. She really doesn’t want to have that conversation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tangling her left hand in her hair, she yanks hard at the strands and the sharp sting distracts her from the blistering pain currently ripping through her entire being, punching holes through her already battered heart.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. I love you. Sana. I miss you. Sana. Where are you?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Flexing her fingers gingerly, she suddenly feels a moment of weakness overcoming her. Momo shakily reaches into her pockets, pulling out a small key before jamming it into the keyhole, unlocking the top part of her cabinet and pulls out her wedding ring. She quickly slides it back on, letting out a shuddery breath when she feels <em>complete </em>as it sits nicely at the bottom of her finger. Closing her fist, she feels the cold metal pressing against her palm and she <em>breathes.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A tiny piece of her heart finding its way back amidst the shattered shards and the incessant screaming in her head dulls just a tad.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>For the briefest moment, she doesn’t feel as broken.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Backstage</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Chou Tzuyu hums a little tune as she puts on her coat, swirling her straw in her smoothie as her managers start packing up. She randomly picks up a plastic bag, smiling at the cute little post-it note stuck there and rifles through it, choosing a bun to go with her drink.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“How was today’s fanmeet? Any weirdos?” Her manager asks, busy stacking the chairs to as she clears out the area. Tzuyu offers her a bite of her bun, smiling when her manager chews thoughtfully.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Nope! Everyone was super nice!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chewing, she mulls over her thoughts a little as someone sticks out. “There was one fan in particular though…” Her eyes soften as she thinks back to Momo and how her eyes shone as she spoke of her wife. How her body had moved through their little talk, every movement screaming out to the world that she loves Sana. “Say Unnie?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu hesitates, toying with straw. “Do you believe in soulmates?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her manager pauses her ministrations, turning back with a puzzled look at the strange question. “Not really, why?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The actress nibbles on her straw mindlessly “Well, today I met someone-” Her manager quickly coos, wiggling her eyebrows as she sniggers annoyingly. “Not like that! She’s married okay!” Tzuyu huffs before continuing “Anyways, she and her wife are both fans so we talked a bit on my roles and she shared a bit about her life and well,” Tzuyu smiles to herself “It just made feel a teensy bit jealous is all.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I know this sounds really dramatic but the way she talked about her wife was really cute and it made me want to have what they share, someone who I can love fully and freely, someone who loves me back just as much. I want someone who I can love without fearing whether I am the only one falling. Someone who is there to catch me no matter what, someone who talks about me even when I’m not around like I’m everything they could ever have dreamed of, you know?” Tzuyu gazes up at ceiling as she talks out loud.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her manager stays silent, watching at Tzuyu grins girlishly as she ducks her head bashfully, spinning on the spot restlessly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I have always acted in romance dramas that showcases the brilliance of passion and longing as well as partnered with the best actors and actresses the world has to offer. But I have never actually experienced any of it.” Tzuyu looks straight at her manager “I have never felt what it feels like to love and be loved in return unnie. And now I’m a little worried because my expectations have risen after meeting that fan.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu sighs wistfully “I’m not asking for the love story of the century or some star-crossed lovers’ cliché.” She spreads her thumb and index finger a little, leaving a silver of space between. “Maybe just a tiny portion of the love she has for her wife would be good enough I think, just a small dose.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She thinks of the lovesick smile on Momo’s face as she reminisces about her childhood, the way her fingers encloses over the surface of her table, as if she was so used to looping hands that she instinctively does it even when there is no one there besides her.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>She thinks of the soft look Momo gives, as if the mere thought of her wife makes her smile.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Tzuyu thinks that Momo doesn’t even notice what she’s doing most of the time, as if loving Sana is like second nature to Momo, something so ingrained in her that she does it without thinking and Tzuyu wants that for herself.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Even though she had mentioned that Momo was lucky for having such a beautiful wife, Tzuyu honestly feels as though Sana was actually the lucky one for having someone like Momo in her life. Someone who loves her with everything she has to offer.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“I’m sure you’ll find someone like that Tzuyu, you’re still young so there’s no rush.” Her manager assures, gently patting the actress’ back soothingly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shaking her head, Tzuyu walks to help the clean-up process as she feeds the last bite to her manager. She thinks back to the sad look on Momo’s face as she absentmindedly rubs at her ring finger, picking a bit at the empty space and she finds herself wishing hard.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I hope those two spend the rest of their lives together in happiness.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>SaMo nation your time has come :D</p><p>Here is a small peek into Momo's mind! I hope y'all didn't get too confused with the two Tzuyus 😭🤣</p><p>Thank you so much for reading and supporting me and leaving such sweet comments...I really appreciate everyone of you!</p><p>I wrote this chapter on my phone so I hope it is still good 🥺🥺🥺 let me know what you think!!</p><p>See you next time!</p><p>#TwiceMeetAgain</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo wrinkles her nose in annoyance at the buffering sign displayed on her phone as she makes herself comfortable on the couch. She angles the phone to the left and to the right, holding it down close to the floor before bringing it up as high as her arm allows. Sana slides down next to Momo, resting her chin as close as possible on her wife’s shoulder as she waits.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Suddenly a loud click was heard as the images flare to life, showing her parents squinting their eyes in confusion as her mother, Yukino, frowns down her glasses at the screen, tapping repeatedly at a button. <em>"How does this work again...?"  </em>She mumbles incoherently.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>It’s connected!” </em>Her father, Asashi, smacks his wife on the arm as he points at the tiny image of their daughter displayed at the top right corner of the screen. Yukino immediately pushes her glasses up, waving frantically as she greets her youngest daughter. “<em>Momo-chan! Can you hear us?” </em>Momo’s parents huddle around the phone, leaning back against their couch.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Sana grins, eyes crinkling up from the motion “How’s everyone doing!” She asks, aware that they couldn’t hear her but it doesn’t stop Sana from being hopeful. She notices the way Asashi hunches his shoulder inwards, trying not to lean too much weight on it and Sana narrows her eyes.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The officer smiles widely at her mother’s enthusiasm as she pulls a cushion onto her lap, placing her feet on the coffee table. Sana tuts lightly at the action. “Hey mom, hey dad! Yeah, I can hear you just fine, been awhile hasn’t it?” She then nods towards her father “How’s your shoulder doing dad? Hana said it’s been aching these days.” Sana widens her eyes at that statement, pouting in concern as she looks at her father-in-law. She wonders if he still has the bottle of ointment she got for him a few years back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Asashi waves his hands dismissively, shaking his head “<em>It’s nothin’, just an old injury.” </em>He peers at the screen, eyes wide and searching. “<em>Nuff’ bout us, where’s Tzuyu?”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo points distractedly somewhere off the camera vision, focused on the blurry images of her parents. “She’s in her room. Anyways, I heard there’s a new restaurant near our-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yukino cuts in “<em>Show her to us! I miss her so much.” </em>She makes a sweeping gesture, as if trying to push Momo out of the frame and summon the toddler in her place. “<em>Hurry up!” </em>Momo furrows her brows, a, little miffed and Sana laughs loudly, wishing she could pinch the officer’s cheeks. “But what about me?” Her mother snorts “<em>I’ve gotten my fill of your face for the past thirty-three years, now I wanna to see my granddaughter!” </em>Yukino tilts her head sideways, eyebrow raised in a <em>Well, hurry up! </em>gesture.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Sulking, Momo leans off to the side, whistling low “Tzuyu?” Her daughter pops her head out as she hangs off the door frame. Momo waves her fingers “Come here baby, grandma and grandpa wants to see you.” Tzuyu drags Minjoong on the floor as she walks slowly over, holding her arms up as Momo scoops her up and deposits her on her lap. Sana ghosts her fingers lightly across Tzuyu’s face in a caress, smiling when her daughter scrunches her nose up from the chill.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu holds her stuffed toy to her face, peeking out shyly before ducking her head back down when Yukino squeals. “<em>Oh, she’s so cute!” </em>Asashi smiles broadly, waving slowly as he tries to establish eye contact with his granddaughter “<em>Hello! Nice to meetcha!” </em>Tzuyu leans back her mother, looking up at Momo uncertainly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer places a soft kiss on the toddler’s head, lingering as she tries to pour as much comfort as she can into the gesture.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Its okay baby, just say hello.” Tzuyu hesitantly brings up one of Minjoong’s paw and waves it timidly. “H-Hewwo.” The sudden guffaw startles the toddler into curling up against her mother and Momo smiles when she sees how excited her parents became at the greeting.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Several loud barks and scuttling later, Momo hears “<em>Wait! Don’t start without me!”  </em>Hana’s legs suddenly appeared at the top of the screen as she nudges her father out of the frame, trying to get a good look and she squeals when she sees the toddler huddled on her younger sister’s lap. “<em>Tzuyu? Hey Tzuyu! Remember me? It’s auntie Hana!” </em>A loud whine interrupts Hana and she quickly lifts her arms, showing a dog cradled there. <em>“Lucky says hi too!” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The appearance of the Jack Russell captures Tzuyu’s attention immediately and she wiggles a bit on her mommy’s lap. The officer smiles softly, waving at Lucky “Hey boy! I miss you so much, looking a little chubbier these days though.” At the sound of his owner’s voice, Lucky emits a low whine and licks at the phone as if trying to reach Momo which succeeded in making her laugh.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Has Hana been giving you more treats these days?” Sana asks happily as she leans forward, almost pushing her face through the phone, giggling when Lucky squirms in Hana’s grasp. From the way he was kicking, it almost seems as if Lucky was trying to run towards Sana and not Momo. Briefly indulging in her daydream, Sana wonders if he misses her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Lucky sits impatiently, paws tapping on the floor in anticipation as Sana holds up one treat in her right palm. His eyes track the woman’s movements as Sana holds it up and down, smiling teasingly when Lucky licks his lips. “Okay, do a twirl!” The dog shoots up immediately, chasing after his tail in a perfect circle as he performs for the woman, barking as he lies back down and rolls over, showing his belly. “Good boy!” Sana praises, rubbing his soft tummy before handing the treat over and Lucky chows down, nibbling on it as his tail thumps hard.</em>
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</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Oh, you like it?” Sana picks up the bag and turns it over thoughtfully, memorizing the name as Lucky makes his way onto her lap, licking appreciatively at the woman’s chin. “I’ll get some more for you then!” She places a soft kiss on his snout, smiling when Lucky nuzzles against her.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Sana looks down at the dog held in Hana’s arms and notices how his colour seems more faded and a sharp pang stab through her. His eyes look a little foggier these days and his tail doesn’t wag as hard, as if he simply lacks the energy to do so. Her heart aches as she does a quick calculation in her head and she realizes that Lucky is turning fifteen this year, almost reaching the life expectancy age for his breed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lucky has always been rather timid and afraid when he is placed in a new environment, prone to whimpering and hiding until someone he is familiar with is by his side like that time he went missing in the local park when he was still a puppy. Sana found him under a bush after at least three hours of nonstop searching, whimpering loudly until she scooped him up, cradling her against her chest safely.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She stares straight at the screen as Lucky pants hard and places her finger above it in a stroking motion. Sana wonders if she could be there to pick up Lucky when his time comes so he wouldn’t be scared about being alone like she had been.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo angles the phone a little lower so Tzuyu enters the frame perfectly yet Momo can still be seen from the back and she slides one arm over her daughter, securing her. She drops the phone into Tzuyu’s hands, pulling Minjoong out and placing him on the couch next to them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Tzuyu! Can you say auntie Hana?” </em>Her sister begs, almost snatching the phone away from her mother who shushes her, telling her eldest daughter to “<em>Get in line!”</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Please talk a little slower, Tzuyu isn’t that good in Japanese yet much less in Kansai-ben.” She reminds her family softly and watches as realization dawns upon them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Tzuyu,” </em>Yukino tries again, articulating her words slowly as she fumbles around in standard Japanese, lips twisting unnaturally. “<em>Hello</em>, <em>it’s grandma! Nice to meet you.” </em>She smiles patiently when Tzuyu edges out of Momo’s arms, holding the phone a little too close to her face until all the Hirais can see is her button nose.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Gwandma?” Tzuyu mumbles, waving her pudgy hand. Hana doesn’t even give her mother a chance to savour the small greeting as she all but shoves her out of the way, snatching the phone for herself. “<em>And auntie Hana!” </em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo tilts the phone up so her sister can see the officer’s disapproving face. “Did…you just push mom out of the way?” Hana clicks her tongue loudly, giving a sour look. “<em>Get outta the frame Piggy, I don’t wanna see your ugly face. And you ought to lay off the snacks, I can see your double chin from a mile away.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo swiftly covers her neck, feeling around as she sticks her tongue out in annoyance and Tzuyu peeks up, giggling when she sees her mommy doing something silly. Sana laughs cheerfully, trying to pull away Momo’s hands “Baby, Hana’s just joking! You look fine.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The toddler pulls at her face, sticking her tongue out as well and the screen suddenly lit up for a moment, indicating that someone had taken a screenshot. At Momo’s unimpressed look, Yukino hurries to defend herself “<em>Don’t look at me like that! It’s not my fault y’all don’t send much pictures, she’s my only grandkid y’know?”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The officer deflates, pulling her legs up as she curls into herself, picking at the hem of Tzuyu’s dress and her parents notices how the mood got a little colder as they rack their brains for something to talk about without encroaching on <em>that </em>subject.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The door to the master bedroom opens slightly as Mina steps out, towelling her hair and she stops in her tracks when she sees that her girlfriend was in the middle of a call. The younger Japanese hovers awkwardly by the hallway, feet shuffling unsurely as she ponders on whether to approach them or not. She has always made sure to stay out of the way whenever Momo has any calls with her parents, not wishing to impose or insert herself where she isn’t quite welcomed yet.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She picks a bit on her fingers absentmindedly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>However, Tzuyu makes the decision for her as she perks up, arms held up as she demands for a hug and Mina slowly walks closer, making sure to stay out of the camera angle. She gently pulls the toddler out of the officer’s lap and tries to stalk off only for Momo to grab onto her wrist. Momo places her phone face down on the couch, obstructing her family’s view as she tugs Mina down for a short kiss.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“New shampoo?” She asks as she rests her cheek on Mina’s, enjoying the close contact and the younger woman nods “Do you like it?” Momo hums, lips twisted thoughtfully as she pulls back so she can look her in the eye.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana looks away, stomach tightening uncomfortably at the intimate position her wife was in with another woman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(She knows it’s not fair to continue calling Momo her wife, not when she has someone else already. Not when she has moved on and is looking happier than before. Sweet, lovely, kind and faultless Mina. A small part of her pokes and prods at the darkest area in her heart, hidden away and tender to the touch, asking when exactly did Momo stop being hers. She finds that she doesn’t want to know. Not now, not ever.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hmm, I prefer the old one.” Momo gently wraps the towel around her head, bundling up her wet hair so it wouldn’t drip down on Mina’s face before patting the seat next to her, where Sana is currently perched on. “I’m on a call with my family,” Momo whispers and lowers her eyes, a little bashful as the tips of her ears turn slightly pink and Mina’s breath catches in her throat at how cute she looks. “do you…want to join me?” Momo peeks up at her girlfriend beneath her lashes shyly and mistakes Mina’s silence as rejection and she quickly let go of the hold she has on Mina’s wrist. “Oh, I mean it’s fine if you don’t want to, I-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina twists her hand swiftly, grabbing Momo, eyes sharp with emotion. “No! I,” She clears her throat when Momo looks back at her, startled “I would love to meet your family Momo, honoured even.” She adjusts Tzuyu in her arms as she slides down next to Momo, bodies touching as she all but leans on the older woman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Letting a soft whine of annoyance, Sana pouts to herself when she finds her vision being obstructed by the younger Japanese sitting on her and she takes note of the way Momo gently runs her right hand over Mina’s left, pressing her fingers into the gaps and just holding on languidly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Sana doesn’t want to know when Momo had moved on. She really doesn’t.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo picks her phone back up, a quick apology for the abrupt darkness on her lips. “Right, sorry for that just now.” Momo darts her eyes towards Mina and smiles assuredly when her girlfriend frets in her seat, tightening her hold over the toddler who sits back comfortably.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>“We were just ‘bout to hang up cause we thought there was something wrong with the signal!” </em>Asashi clicks his tongue, jokingly berating his daughter before noticing that Momo wasn’t quite looking at them. “<em>Momo? What’s wrong?” </em>Simultaneously, three heads (four if you count Lucky who followed Hana’s lead) turn towards the direction that Momo was gazing at, as if they could maybe get a glimpse as well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Guys, I wanna introduce someone to you.” Momo tears her eyes away from Mina to look at her family, eyes steely as she drops her voice low. “Don’t be too surprised okay? Don’t scare her off.” Before the Hirais could register Momo’s statement, the officer had already turned the phone to show Mina who smiles nervously, pulling the towel away from her head quickly when she realizes how idiotic she looks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“H-Hello, my name is Myoui Mina. It’s very nice to meet you.” She bows her head, a trickle of water splattering on Tzuyu’s cheeks and the toddler jerks her head up in confusion. Mina dabs it away apologetically.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A stunned silence follows Mina’s formal introduction as Momo’s parents appraises the younger Japanese and Hana places Lucky back on the ground, taking a moment to gather her thoughts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>…Ah, it’s nice to meet you too. Myoui-san, right?” </em>Yukino stammers, breaking the ice by offering a slightly wobbly smile while her husband still gapes uselessly. Mina nods firmly, hands clenching around Momo’s hand as she tries not to flinch when she notices the intense scrutiny she is under. “Yes, that’s right.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina hopes that there is nothing stuck in her teeth when she smiles weakly at Yukino.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sensing an awkward confusion about to brew, Momo cuts in “Mom, Dad? This is who I wanted to introduce you guys to, her name is Mina and she’s my girlfriend.” She feels the way Mina stiffens up in her grip and she rubs her thumb soothingly across her knuckles, channelling as much comfort as she can.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Drawing herself up to her full height, Momo rests her forehead on top of Mina’s head and she feels the younger woman turn her head inward slightly as she tries to hide from the attention subconsciously. “…Surprise?” Everyone started talking at once, almost shouting over each other in an attempt of being heard.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Girl-!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Momo why didn’t you tell-”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Wow she’s really pretty, why would she-”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Arf!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo releases Mina’s hand to hold it in front of her, a signal for her family to quieten down before speaking again. “Woah slow down please, one at a time.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pushing her eldest daughter and husband out of the frame, Yukino holds her phone up to her face. “<em>Why didn’t you tell us earlier? Is this a new thing or?” </em>She lets the end of her sentence run off, allowing Momo to fill in the blanks herself to which the officer shakes her head. “No, it’s not really new and I waited for awhile because I wanted to be sure that we are serious before introducing her to you and I've been rather busy so this is the best time I have for this.” She didn’t catch the soft look in Mina’s eyes as she gazes fondly at the officer, heart swelling.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>We’re serious, she said we’re serious. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Mina bites her lips in an attempt to stop a smile from crawling all over her face and distracts herself by playing with the baby hair escaping from Tzuyu’s small pigtails.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’m meeting her family.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Mina feels something unfurling within her.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Asashi forces his face next to his wife so he can get a better look at Mina and lets out a soft noise of understanding. He directs his next question to her, voice straining as he tries to prevent himself from slipping back into his dialect.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Sorry for looking so shocked Myoui-san, we were just caught off guard since our daughter never really gave any indication that she was in a relationship. Anyways, is it okay if we ask some questions?” </em>He glares at his youngest daughter. “<em>God knows when we might get to speak to y’all-” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>He bites his tongue at the slip-up, noticing the confusion flitting across the younger Japanese’s face. “<em>I meant; I don’t know when we might be able to have a call like this again so I would like to get to know my daughter’s girlfriend better while I have the chance to. Is that alright with you?” </em>He ends his sentence softly in an effort not to come off too strongly as the younger woman looks rather skittish.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina feels her lips twitching up at the invitation and she leans forward in her seat. “Yes! Yes, it’s fine, I would love to talk to all of you.” She twiddles her thumbs “But I am a little boring so there might be nothing interesting that I can share.” She laughs self-deprecatingly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yukino tsks loudly, hands on her hips. “<em>Nonsense! No one can be more boring than Momo, all she does is eat and sleep.” </em>Hana pipes up “<em>Piggy!” </em>Momo rolls her eyes good-naturedly at the ribbing and whines to her mother “Mom, tell Hana to shut up!” She covers one side of her face away from Mina and hisses lowly “Stop embarrassing me in front of Mina!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana pulls away from her seat, dusting herself off mindlessly and she bends down to look at the camera directly. She glances down and sees the quiet amazement in Yukino’s eyes as she tracks her eyes all over the younger Japanese features and Sana feels the tender spot in her throb. “Bye mom, bye dad.” She mumbles, feeling her heart clench when none of them acknowledges her. She wasn't expecting them to and she has already gotten used to being ignored but still.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hana scrunches her nose up “<em>You embarrass yourself on your own. I did nothing. Anyways, we’re like family yeah? She should see all sides of you.” </em>Hana glances at Mina, mischief dancing in her eyes. “<em>Hey, did you know Momo use to wet the bed until she was seven? She would always chug soda before bed and was too scared to use the bathroom at night, saying there’s a demon waiting in the bathtub.” </em>Momo drops her head down to the side, burying it under the cushions and she groans loudly as Mina takes the phone out of her grip, enjoying the new tidbit on her girlfriend.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Stepping away from the couch, Sana stands by the doorway as she looks at her family-<em>Mina’s family</em>-and she bites her lip harshly. Frankly, it hurts how quickly the Hirais had welcomed Mina into their ranks. They have always been a friendly bunch, looking after Sana like she was one of their own even before she had started dating Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Actually this isn't a surprise at all, Mina <em>is </em>Momo’s girlfriend after all, of course they would be nice to her. Sana fiddles with her wedding band, smiling to herself as she reminisces about the times when she was a teenager where she would regularly complain to Yukino about Momo being dense and missing her signals.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Count yourself lucky Minari, I've trained Momo to the point where she'll notice even the slightest cue from you." Sana mumbles as she focuses her gaze on the two women.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Loud laughter rung out as Mina covers her mouth with one hand, giggling at whatever it was that Hana said and Tzuyu, upon seeing Mina look so happy, also laughed a little even if the toddler was clueless on what was being said.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Aware that this comes off as incredibly selfish on her part, Sana can’t help but feel jealous. It was ridiculous really, feeling this flare of jealousy creeping underneath her skin as she watches the way Mina would nuzzle against Momo or the way she would run her fingers through Tzuyu's hair but it felt as though everything that was hers is now slowly being overtaken by the younger woman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everything that she had loved, everything that was a part of her is now gradually becoming Mina’s. She wonders how long she has until everyone has moved on from her, has forgotten her in favour of someone new and this time Sana is powerless to stop the overwhelming bitterness from leaking over with every beat of her non-existent heart.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana wonders how long she has until every memory of her would be wiped clean from everyone’s head. She wonders if anyone still misses her, is still thinking of her and she clenches her fist, digging her nails in deep to stop her train of thought. “Don’t think like that.” She berates herself “It’s not fair to them.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And it’s true, she has been dead for three <em>years</em> and it’s about time for people to move on. She realizes just how messed up she was being, wishing for them to still be hurt over her passing, to mourn after her and she hates herself for wishing that Momo would still think of her knowing <em>exactly</em> how much her death has hurt the older woman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She was there for all the sleepless nights, all the screaming matches and the crying and Sana closes her eyes, remembering the way her wife’s face twisted as she weeps, hugging a small picture of Sana to her chest as she begs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Please," Momo wails as she crumples on the floor amongst the shattered glass bottles, dragging her bleeding hands across the picture frame."Please give her back to me." She tightens her grip on the pane, cutting herself even deeper yet she doesn't flinch.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana doesn't want to see Momo like that ever again. But why does it hurt so much to see her smile with someone that wasn't her?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Because you are selfish.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo wraps an arm around Mina’s waist, pulling her flush against her as she holds the phone up so everyone would appear. She suddenly thinks ‘<em>Hmm, I have to lean a little further down than when I was with-’</em> and she mentally kicks that thought away, gritting her teeth as she smiles indulgently at the rapid fire way her mother was questioning Mina.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She doesn't catch the heavy look in her father's eyes as he looks at the two of them, lips set in a line.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Feeling like an intruder in her own home, Sana drags her gaze away, stepping out the door and away from her family.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Mina has now "met" Momo's family, but what do they think of her 🤔</p><p>This concludes the end of the first part of this story and the next would be a little heavier :D</p><p>Thank you so much for reading and do let me know what you thought of this chapter!</p><p>See you next time! 😚</p><p>#TwiceMeetAgain</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo…please sit down. There is something-</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Groaning softly, Momo buries her head underneath her pillow and frowns, easily slipping back into her mind.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It’s, it’s Sana. She’s-</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The officer wraps herself around her blanket, tugging it over her head and huddling in a futile attempt of blocking out her thoughts. She tosses and turns, accidentally kicking out at the warm body next to her. The figure grunts at the rough treatment, squinting as her eyes adjusts to the darkness and she glances over to her side.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Momo?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dressed in scrubs and backed into a dark corner, she watches countless surgeons operating on her wife’s body carelessly. Sana's eyes were wide open, conscious and aware of what is going on as she reaches out for Momo, fear swimming in her gaze. The distance between the two women seem to increase by the second as the walls start closing in, trapping Momo within. She tries to shout for help, for someone to please save her wife only for nothing to come out no matter how much she strains her throat, tendons flexing.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Baby, wake up.” Someone runs their hand over her face, smoothing out her furrowed brows and she huffs. “You’re having a bad dream.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>She wants to</em> -needs <em>to-get closer to Sana but finds that she cannot move, rooted onto the spot as the ground starts swallowing her and Momo starts to sink down to her knees. Her throat can’t seem to work as a doctor ruthless stabs his scalpel into Sana’s body, digging and slicing before yelling out in triumph and pulling out a small blob of flesh that screams and thrashes.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>"</em>Momo."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A shrill cry before a nurse shoves the squirming baby into Momo’s arms while covered in goo and blood. “Congratulations!” The nurse chirps, her mood contrasting with the ruckus going on behind her as the surgeons starts yelling over one another, sending equipment flying as they try to save Sana. “It’s a girl!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Help me <em>Sana’s eyes beg as her eyelids flutter, heart-rate dropping drastically and even then Momo can't move. She places one hand out and presses against something that feels like an invisible barrier and pushes hard. The baby starts getting restless and agitated by the commotion, stirring in her mother’s arms as she starts wailing.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>"Hey, Momo?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“We’re losing her!” Someone shouts, trying to jab various needles into Sana’s arms filled with dubious liquids and Momo faintly wonders why none of the surgeons bothered to stitch her wife back up. Surely laying in a pool of blood with her intestines on show is detrimental to recovery.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>The baby cries, kicking and rolling off Momo’s slacken arms, leading with a sick </em>squish <em>near the officer’s feet.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Momo, help me.” Sana puffs into her oxygen mask, eyes rolling back into her skull as her heart flat lines.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“What are you going to name her Momo?” Nayeon pops up behind the officer, nodding to the mess on the floor.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Momo?  Hey what’s wrong?” Jihyo lays a comforting hand on her shoulder, rubbing in circles.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"How could you do this to her?" Saki weeps next to a still Sana, hands gripping onto her daughter as she looks at the officer accusatory with red-rimmed eyes. "I never should have left her," She sniffs and gently touches Sana's face and bites down on her lower lip when she notes how cold her daughter was getting. "I wish she never met you, Momo. Maybe then she would still be here with me."</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Momo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Momo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Momo!”</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Waking up with a gasp, Momo flings off her blanket with by swinging her arms as she tries to fend off whatever that was touching her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey-!” Someone whisper-shouts next to her, smacking away Momo’s arm in annoyance, trying to pin her down. "Baby, hey it's okay. you're safe." There it is again. <em>That </em>voice. The one that plays endlessly in Momo's head to the point where she can't differentiate it from her own sometimes. She cranes her neck slowly, tentatively as her eyes travel up to look at the other person's face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana rubs her eyes with the heel of her palm, yawning and her eyelids lower from exhaustion, hair sticking to the side of her face with faint pillow marks on her cheek. “What’s wrong Moguri?” Sana questions, rubbing Momo’s shoulders soothing as she yawns again, this time deeper, head drooping to the side. Her lips jut out slightly when she notices the faint tremors running through Momo’s frame and she shakes her head in an attempt of clearing her mind.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re shaking…come here.” Sana pulls Momo closer to her and lets out a soft noise of surprise when she is met with resistance. The older woman tenses and forcibly pushes Sana off her, a wry smile on her lips as she regards Sana with resignation and a tinge of hurt. “Oh, so today is one of <em>those</em>?” She spits out, glaring at Sana across the bed and growls lowly when the younger woman tries to crawl over to her wife, one arm held out hesitatingly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Don't touch me.” She demands, halting Sana’s movements as Momo surveys her room, chuckling to herself when the area was what it was three years ago with the addition of some children related objects, namely Sana's teaching materials. She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, not expecting the sudden tidal wave of hurt just washing over her when she sees a small framed picture of Sana and Tzuyu next to her nightstand.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(<strike>She has already made peace with the fact that</strike> Sana is gone, she is never, ever going to get the life she had envisioned for the both of them. But why does it still hurt so much to see a mockery of what Momo had once deemed the greatest dream of her life? <strike>She has already let go of Sana, she has moved on.</strike> She has Mina now, this shouldn’t hurt as much as it did back then.)</p><p>              </p><p> </p><p>“Wow, I really outdid myself this time.” The officer muses to herself, feeling the soft velvet of her blanket underneath her fingers and marvels at how realistic it feels. “Momo you’re scaring me.” Sana whispers, eyes wide as she follows the crazed movements of her wife as she starts poking about their nightstand, loudly emptying her drawer on the floor. “…Why are you doing this to me?” She mumbles, holding up the frame. Sana looks so happy as Tzuyu squishes herself between her mother's legs, throwing up a small V sign.</p><p> </p><p>Her phone vibrates in her pockets and Momo slowly retrieves it, her screen lighting up with her lockscreen picture on full display. Sana and Tzuyu both lying down on their tummies on a picnic mat and smiling wide with a few missing teeth for the toddler, identical brown eyes bright and cheery.</p><p> </p><p>(She does not remember this day, she does not think this even happened in the first place but it still felt like a lance of pure pain just stabbing through her chest.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Nayeon</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Image]</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Chaeyoung’s been asking when you’re gonna bring Tzuyu over again!</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why can’t you just leave me alone? Do you enjoy seeing me suffer? Is that what you want, for me to feel like tearing my heart out?” She drops her phone down on the ground, the small crunch of the glass makes her head hurt.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Momo, I-” Flinching when the officer angles her arm back and throws the frame towards the wall, glass shattering in every direction and Sana covers her ears in shock.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Don't say my name </em>Momo begs <em>Not in her voice.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Stop it already!” Momo stares straight at Sana, face devoid of emotion as lips wobble dangerously. She narrows her eyes when she takes in Sana’s defensive form. “I know this is a dream.” Her lips flatten into a line as she jabs a finger into her wife's shoulder, pressing in deep until Sana winces and jerks away. “You’re <em>dead</em>.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With that she pushes herself off her bed and slips on her bedroom slippers, stretching. She casually knocks her lamp over, humming when it lands with a loud thud. She picks up a few picture books lined up on their shelves before opening it with a flourish and tearing it right down the middle and tosses it over her head, laughing maniacally when a shredded piece lands on her face. "So realistic."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what’s with you but Tzuyu is sleeping so please keep it down.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tzuyu? Oh wow, so this time Tzuyu is a part of this now? Amazing.” Momo increases her volume on purpose, almost shouting this time as she yanks down hard on the curtains, ripping them. Sana starts to walk towards her wife, jolting when Momo whirls back to stare at her. “<em>Don’t.</em>” She warns “Don’t you dare talk to me or even look at me.” She growls out menacingly. “How dare you use her for your sick little games.” She spits out, voice filled with venom but lacking any real sting. Sana's eyes soften in concern and the slight dip in her brows felt like a punch to the gut to Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Even when she was dreaming dream, Momo still finds that she is unable to put up much of a fight when it comes to Sana.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Was my wife not enough? Now you wanna use my daughter against me?” Momo scoffs. “You know what? Let’s wake her up! The more the merrier right?” She stomps towards the door, fully intent on just grabbing her ‘daughter’ and watching how this dream plays out when suddenly she feels a sharp sting on her left cheek and Momo stumbles, wincing at the harsh throb.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tasting blood from where she had bitten down on her tongue, she slowly turns her head up, spotting Sana next to her with her hand stretched out, fingers curled slightly. The younger woman withdraws her hands immediately, covering her mouth in shock and surprise at her actions.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Ow?” Momo fingers her cheek, feeling a bruise already starting to form and she plasters herself against the wall, a little afraid and very confused. She accidentally steps on a few shattered shards of glass on the floor when her slipper wiggles loose and she hisses, jumping over to avoid the mess.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Propping her foot up on her knee, she sees tiny droplets of blood beginning to trickle down and Momo dusts the bottom of her foot, pushing the shards off and she frowns at the sting.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It hurts.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Why does it hurt? </em>She wonders, eyes following the bloody trail down her foot. She’s never gotten injured in her dreams before but even so, she knows it is not supposed to hurt.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em> <strike>Maybe, this isn't-</strike> </em> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The stern look on Sana’s face slips off instantly when she spots the hurt flashing on her wife’s face as she hurries over, fingers rubbing over the swollen area. “<em>I’m so sorry baby, I just didn’t know what to do to snap you out of your daze.</em>” She talks rapidly and slips back into her native language, accent thick as her eyebrows furrow in concern. She worries her lower lip, feeling apologetic for slapping the officer so hard.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The melodious lilt of her voice twines around Momo, soft and sweet. Compared to her father's rough accent, her mother's nasally one and her sister's borderline headache inducing voice, Momo can’t help but lean a little more into Sana’s.</p><p> </p><p>Her voice felt reminds her of all the times Sana and her would rush out after school to the tiny nabemono stall just across the street, stuffing themselves silly. Or all the times she had splurged her allowance on cat food just because Sana had wanted to feed the strays by the river.</p><p> </p><p>(The gentle twitch on Sana's face whenever a kitten rubs itself against her leg was enough for Momo to forget about the figurative hole in her pocket)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her voice reminds Momo when she would 'forget' her heat pack at home only for Sana to sigh exasperatedly before slipping her hand into Momo's, sharing heat. (Momo will <em>never </em>let Sana know that this was what she had planned all along)</p><p> </p><p>Her voice reminds Momo of the times where she would opt not to carry her umbrella just to make more space for some snacks she would purchase at the convenience store with Sana only for the sky to betray her when it splits open in a heavy downpour and she is left stranded. Sana, of course, always has a tiny umbrella clipped by her bag but it was only big enough for one person.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"<em>Well,</em>" Sana would pout, tucking her umbrella back into her bag before holding her hand out towards Momo, waiting. "<em>If Moguri won't use an umbrella then I won't either!" </em> before yanking the older girl out into the rain, running as fast as they can as water splashes onto their shoes, soaking their socks and Momo cringes when her toes felt cold.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The two of them reaches school all wet and Momo is certain her homework that she spent all night doing is ruined but somehow, she can't find it in herself to be mad. Not when Sana would laugh happily, glad to arrive before the final bell tolled as she tucks herself into Momo's arm, wiggling her feet out of her shoe, picking it up and turning it upside down for water to spill out, creating a tiny puddle on the floor.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo can't be mad when Sana takes out her handkerchief and wipes at the older girl's face, gently trying to dry her best friend as Momo just looks at her, taking in the strands of hair stuck onto Sana's face and how the very tip of the girl's nose has turned pinkish from the chill.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Her lips would twitch with the temptation to warm the younger girl up with a soft kiss but Momo would resist and instead pinch her best friend’s nose, enjoying the way Sana would whine cutely.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>No, she can't get mad when Sana uselessly dabs her handkerchief on Momo's uniform, doing absolutely nothing to salvage the mess it is in and the younger girl cracks up again, sneezing halfway and Momo pulls her in close, grimacing when their uniforms stick uncomfortably to her skin.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And even though Momo is o<em>ne hundred percent </em>surethey're going to get sick the very next day, she refuses to let go of the grip she has on Sana's hand.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(She will never let go, not if she can help it.) </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>For the longest time Momo has never been afraid of going to somewhere new or foreign. Has never been scared of being tossed into the unknown and she has always been rather stumped whenever someone would ask “Hey, don’t you ever feel homesick?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p><em>Because the truth is, Momo has </em>never <em>felt out of place. She has never felt like she didn’t belong. Her family had anxiously scheduled various phone calls through the first six months when she moved to Korea, worried that the youngest Hirai would be scared about being on her own without her family to fall back on.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But their worries were for naught because Momo had embraced life in the new country, had never felt like wishing she was back in Japan, back in her hometown where she grew up in. Even when she had encountered bitter racists hurling insults at her, Momo had never faltered, always giving a bright smile in return.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>Maybe it was because Sana's voice, or perhaps Sana herself felt like the embodiment of home. That as long as she has Sana with her, Momo would </em>always<em> have somewhere to go back to.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>While Sana was busy checking the damage she did, Momo took the time to look, to <em>really </em>look at Sana and she subconsciously brings up her hand, cupping Sana’s face tenderly, afraid that if she presses too hard her wife might just fade away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Using her thumb to prod at Sana's cheekbones, she slides the rest of her fingers underneath her chin to tilt her head up, examining her. Searching for something, <em>anything </em>that will confirm her doubts, her fear that this is just a dream.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>Momo can't afford to believe. She doesn't know whether her heart can take yet another disappointment.</strike>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She pinches and pulls at her wife’s cheeks, ignoring the soft whine emitting from the younger woman as she swipes her thumb over the unblemished skin until she reaches the high end of her cheek and spots a faint crescent mark. Sana's first and last acne scar, created when the younger woman had once gotten annoyed about the pimple that appeared on the day of her yearbook picture that she decided it would be a good idea to pop it only to regret when a scar took its place.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was almost unnoticeable, faded due to the years and care Sana had taken for her skin and it would surely go undetected if it was anyone other than Momo who was searching.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(How many times has she ran her thumb over this mark, Momo wonders. How many times has she placed a kiss softly on it as she holds Sana's face lovingly to hers. How many times. How many times. How many times.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>…</em>Sana? Is it really you<em>?</em>” She mutters softly and her heart clenches when Sana tilts her head towards her palm, nuzzling into it. By this movement, Momo’s thumb shifts off its place on Sana's cheeks and brushes against the bump on the bridge of Sana’s nose and she shudders slightly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(How many times has she loved her.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I thought-” Momo swallows hard, rubbing her index finger across the swell of Sana’s cheek lovingly while her other hand grips onto Sana’s feeling about her palm and she exhales shakily when she feels two rough cuts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. Sana. Sana.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“What did you dream about that got you so tensed<em>?</em>” Sana whispers, turning her palm up to accommodate Momo who sighs when she reaches the silver band on her fourth finger. Rubbing and twisting the ring, Sana feels something twinge inside her chest when Momo locks eyes with her, bringing their interlocked hands up towards her mouth as the officer plants one warm kiss on her wedding band.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Minatozaki Sana,” Momo murmurs as she drags out every syllable, busy mapping out her wife’s features with her fingers, ghosting over the bridge of her nose again and her heart squeezes when she sees a faint scar on Sana’s forehead, result of tripping and smashing her head onto a table when they were six from a game of tag. “Sana.” She says slowly as if she was testing the word out, familiarizing herself once more.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Her throat feels dry and her tongue feels heavy but the tightness wounding up her shoulders slackens as she invokes the name of the one she misses most and to see her staring back at her. Finally, able to touch Sana again after having to make do with pictures and memories stored safely in her heart.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was as if she couldn’t hear anything else as Momo repeatedly kisses the ring on Sana’s finger, mumbling Sana’s name with every kiss as she refuses to look away from her wife’s face. She places the younger woman’s palm against her chest, feeling the steady thump of the officer’s heart as she hugs Sana. “Sana.” She says again but with more urgency this time. “<em>Sana</em>.” Her voice shakes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Momo.” Sana replies in kind, a teasing lilt to her voice as she lets her wife do whatever she needs, noticing the tension leaving Momo’s shoulders, relaxing into her normal stance. "Momo." She snuggles into the officer before tapping her nose playfully, giggling when Momo goes cross-eyed. “and it’s Hirai.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Huh?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“My name, its Hirai Sana.” She taps the matching ring on Momo’s fourth finger, surprising the officer with its presence. “Right? Unless,” She smirks at the dumbfounded look on her wife's face "you admit that Minatozaki is a better surname?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A laugh puff through the older woman’s lips, delirious with relief and Momo flexes her hand, feeling the metal tightening around her finger. “…You wish.” She places a kiss on Sana’s finger, lingering and marking and she feels Sana curling her fingers slightly, scraping against Momo’s wrist. "Hirai is much, much cooler."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hirai Sana, my Sana.” She whispers softly, a watery note apparent in her voice, back pressed against the door and she savours the way the doorknob digs into her body. She feels the ache, feels how uncomfortable she is, and she feels Sana's resting her entire weight against her, slightly heavier than what she remembers and further pushing the older woman against the knob.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>Momo lets herself hope.</strike>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She pushes herself off the door, spinning the both of them around, smiling into Sana’s hair when she feels the younger woman giggling in her embrace. The two of them rest against one another, enjoying the silence and warmth. The way Sana slides her arms around Momo's shoulders sends a soft shockwave through the officer, her body immediately twisting to fit her wife perfectly, muscle memory flaring to life <strike>as if they were waiting patiently for a chance to hold Sana again.</strike></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Momo stares off to the side, eyes darting all over the place and she doesn’t see any signs of Mina. She can’t find the basket full of knitting materials that the doctor had shoved halfway into their closet. She can’t find the small stack of hand warmers spilling out of the upper drawer.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> <em><strike>Mina?</strike></em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Leaning into the faint scratching of Sana’s nails on her neck, Momo relaxes and takes a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of her wife's favourite shampoo and Momo feels like she's floating.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(She can’t find the tiny mittens that Mina had been working on just for Tzuyu, incorporating the complicated stitch designs of all the toddler’s favourite cartoon characters. She can’t find Mina <em>anywhere</em>.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Moguri?” Momo hums, eyes remaining shut as she feels Sana playing with the collar of her shirt, twisting and flipping. “Are you going to tell me what you dreamt about now?” Momo hesitates, nosing against Sana’s jaw as she peppers kisses along the column of her neck languidly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana plays with the ends of Momo’s hair while exposing more of her throat, twirling it around her finger as she waits for the older woman to speak up, knowing that the officer just needs more time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Gone were the medical journals that decorate the surface of the desk by the side of their bed. Gone were the dozens of bottles of Bacchus-F that Momo had bought lining up Mina's nightstand, placed perfectly in reach whenever the doctor was up late researching or reading. Gone was the sleek mint coloured fountain pen with the thoroughly chewed cap, the one Mina always insisted on using for all her paperwork as she gnaws restlessly not unlike how Tzuyu nibbles's on her plushie's ears. Momo had gotten that for her for their first month-sary, custom making it in her girlfriend's favourite colour with a small dachshund imprinting on the tip. Mina had never written using anything else other than that pen since then.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I dreamt-” She swallows hard, running her tongue across her teeth. “I dreamt that you d-died. That you were gone and-” She cuts herself off, pressing a kiss against Sana’s cheek as she caught a whiff of the younger woman's lotion, a scent she hasn't smelt in so long. She feels the warmth radiating off her wife’s body and the slight jump in her pulse when Momo rubs tenderly at the exposed skin on her hip from where her shirt rode up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strike>Mina is gone. Where is-</strike> </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. Sana. Sana.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“It was felt so real; I held your body and no matter what I did you wouldn’t wake up.” A tear splashes against's Sana's shoulders before more followed, soaking her clothes but Sana pays no mind, tightening her embrace instead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. Sana. Sana.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>(<strike>Could it be? Can Momo really-</strike>)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana remains silent as she toys around with her thoughts, gently carding her fingers through Momo’s hair, pulling her back from her shoulder before pondering out loud. “Wow, do you really hate me that much?” She jokes but the mood instantly freezes and crashes as Momo surges up, eyes wild and she tightens her grip on Sana, imprinting her fingers onto Sana's arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No!” She shouts in denial, reaction explosive as she desperately holds onto the younger woman. “I love you Sana, I love you so much.” She presses her forehead against her wife, urging for her to look into her eyes. “I love you, you know that right?” She pleads.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana feels herself tearing up at the hurt in her wife’s eyes and she gently holds Momo’s face in her hands as she gives a quick peck. "I know, I love you too. I'm sorry that was a bad joke." Sana mumbles into Momo’s lips “Forgive me?” Momo doesn’t say anything but drapes herself over Sana, feeling the fear that once flooded her slowly start to leave when she feels about the younger woman’s back and the soothing beat of her heart calms Momo down immensely.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Once she dreamt of Sana standing in a park surrounded by daisies, white summer dress billowing in the wind as she twirls around, crooking a finger teasing before running off, leaving Momo to chase hopelessly after her. The more they ran, the further out of reach Sana felt like no matter how hard Momo forces her legs to pump. Her dreams always end in a similar fashion; with Momo tripping and landing face first as Sana vanishes without a trace.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The solidness of the woman currently in her arms anchors Momo, dragging her nails down Sana’s back and feels her wife shudder against her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Not once has she ever gotten to hold Sana, the closest she got was when she dreamt of them as teenagers back in Japan, fingertips just barely grazing against Sana's school uniform and her wife had burst into a flurry of butterflies, fluttering away from her. Momo realizes that Sana never once looked back at her no matter how much she screamed for her to stop, to slow down.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Real, Sana is real.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>Maybe. Maybe this is-</strike>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A sudden throb on her cheek causes Momo to pull away from Sana’s hold, cursing softly under her breath and the younger woman pouts apologetically again, forgetting that she had struck her wife just a moment prior.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Maybe she'll indulge herself just a little, maybe everything was just a nightmare and she is back with Sana now. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What<strike> else</strike> has she got to lose <strike>when Momo has already lost <em>everything</em></strike><em>.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wow, you hit harder than Nayeon that’s for sure.” Momo teases impishly, swinging their joined hands together in an attempt to cheer Sana up. “Let me check on Tzuyu real quick and I’ll apply some ointment for you okay?” Sana rests her hand on the doorknob, noticing the way Momo’s eyes sparkled at the mention of their daughter and she immediately clings onto her wife.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t need any ointment, maybe just a kiss?” She cheekily tilts her head and closes her eyes, waiting and grinning when she hears Sana sigh before tenderly planting a soft kiss on the swollen area.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>It feels so real, feels just like how it used to when Sana would-</strike>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo draws herself up to her full height, puffing out her chest. “I feel better already.” Before pushing Sana out the door, ushering her towards the toddler’s bedroom. Sana places a finger on her lips, silently telling Momo to keep her volume down as she slowly turns the doorknob, trying to muffle the soft ‘click’ when the lock unlatches as the two of them peek in.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The weak light by the hallway illuminates one tiny slumbering figure on her bed surrounded by toys. As if sensing that she was being watched, Tzuyu burrows deeper into her blanket, letting out a soft whine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana clicks her tongue when she notices a few stuffed toys laying abandoned on the ground, most likely kicked off by her daughter and she pulls apart from Momo, sauntering into the room before squatting down, scooping up all the toys and places them in a protective circle around Tzuyu.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tugging the blanket up just beneath the toddler’s chin, Sana bends down to stroke her daughter’s hair gently, murmuring faint words of love before giving a soft kiss to her cheek, watching as the frown on Tzuyu’s face melt away into a small smile. She gently butts her nose against her daughter's, too full of love for the little one to pull away just yet.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo leans against the doorframe, a tender expression on her face as she watches her family.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>At the very corner of her room something falls off the shelf as it rolls a little towards the silver of light streaming in from the hallway, lying there motionlessly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Squinting, Momo notices that it looks like a slightly battered penguin plushie in a small white coat but when she blinks it disappear from sight.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Thinking that her eyes were playing tricks on her, she instead focuses on the peaceful rise and fall of Tzuyu’s chest and she sleeps on, dead to the world as she curls into the little Shiba plushie she has in her grip. (Momo doesn't remember buying that for her) Sana pats Tzuyu's back gently, humming softly under her breathe to encourage her daughter to sleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>An image of Mina smiling sweetly at her pops up in Momo’s mind.</strike>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Counting her plushies one by one, Momo realizes <em>Minjoong is missing </em>but says nothing even if her heart feels slightly heavy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em> <strike>Mina laughs loudly at a joke the officer cracks, covering her face shyly as she giggles uncontrollably. Momo gently pries her girlfriend's hands off, smiling gently when Mina turns pink from the attention.</strike> </em> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ever since that day three years ago, Momo’s mind had been plagued with numerous what-ifs. What if she had been just a little faster? What if she had taken a left instead? What if she had used up one of her many days off from work she had saved in preparation for the baby? <em>What if. what if. What if</em>. All the scenarios amount to one thing in the end, just <em>one</em> thing she had wanted more than anything else. Where Sana was safe and sound by her side. Where Sana is able to raise Tzuyu with her. Where they got to be a family.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A world where Sana <em>lives.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>It should have been me.</strike>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And right now, as Momo turns her body slightly to let Sana slip through, pressing herself further into Momo, the officer smiles to herself. <em>Hi </em>Momo thinks as she smiles down at her wife and she notices the little pictures scattered around Tzuyu’s bedroom of the three of them in various places. One flutters down from its place on the corkboard, taken just outside Tzuyu’s preschool with all three of them beaming. (Momo looked a little teary eyed in there but so did Sana.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She clenches her fist hard, carving her nails in and feels a trill of delight shooting up her spine when she feels a sharp pinch in her palm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Backing away slowly, Momo gives one last look just in case her daughter stirs awake before gently shutting the door, leaving just a tiny crack because she knows the toddler hates total darkness, Momo thinks to herself<em> I've missed this </em>as she feels Sana playing with her fingers, rubbing against the pad of her fingertips before slipping them into her hand.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>Momo's not selfish, she's really not. She just wishes-</strike>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana tilts her head playfully at the thoughtful look on Momo’s face, giving a soft peck before slipping her hand into the older woman’s who automatically tightens her grip. Never wanting to let go ever again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Please)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A sense of familiarity washes over Momo as them walk towards the living room, greeted by that <em>hideous </em>rug and Momo's nose wrinkles up automatically, unable to resist kicking a little at it. "Doesn't it hurt?" Sana nods towards her foot and the officer shakes her head "Not really, it was just a scratch and it stopped bleeding already." Before plopping right down, pushing a few cushions out of the way and tugs Sana down with her, letting out a grunt when her wife’s elbow jabs her under the ribs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strike>She just wishes-</strike> </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Getting a little heavy huh?” She teases Sana, laughing when the younger woman puffs out her cheeks in defiance. Sana kneads at Momo’s tummy lightly, complaining “This bed is too hard, I want a refund!” As she slips her hand underneath Momo’s shirt, splaying her fingers across the officer’s abs and Momo tenses, laughter slipping past her lips as she kicks her feet out from the ticklish sensation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her nose bumps against Momo’s and the officer wastes no time in nuzzling against her in an Eskimo kiss, heart soaring when she hears the giddiness in Sana’s laughter. “Hi.” She whispers softly into the space between them and Sana melts at how intimate this feels. “Hi.” The younger woman tucks her head just under Momo’s chin, sighing when the officer starts running her hands up and down the length of her back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strike>She just wishes-</strike> </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana starts kissing wherever she can reach and Momo throws a leg over the younger woman, trapping her there as she just holds on. (Momo feels as though Sana is slowly melting into her, joining them as one and the cavity in her chest starts to shrink.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re so cuddly today.” Sana comments thoughtfully pressing her fingers softly against the officer’s mouth to which Momo gently nips at the tips playfully, eyes soft and wandering.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Please)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I miss you, that’s all.” She answers thoughtfully as she tucks a strand of hair behind Sana’s ears and she rubs underneath her wife’s jaw like a cat teasingly. Sana smiles in a way that only she can, eyes crinkled up as her nose scrunches adorably, pushing her face deeper into Momo’s hand and Momo feels something unwinding in her. A tension that she didn’t know she had releasing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Like coming home after a long day at work.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. Sana. Sana.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"You're looking at me right now," Sana holds Momo face in her hands, kissing her deeply before mumbling "there, still miss me?" Momo doesn't say anything, just angling her head to the side before kissing Sana again. And again. And again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I love you.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>(She doesn’t know that it’s possible to feel so much for one person, to feel like you’re at the top of the world and cratering to the darkest depths of Hell with no sign of stopping at the same time. It has been years since she first told Sana that she loves her but she finds that she falls a little deeper every day. She wonders if she would ever stop, if there is an end to how much she can feel but right now as Sana smiles so sweetly at her, Momo thinks that perhaps it is limitless.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Intending to continue, Momo pushes herself up from the couch before Sana pats her uninjured cheek softly and stands up. Momo scrambles and grabs hold of Sana’s sleeves, “Wait don’t go.” She begs, and the underlying fear in her voice gives Sana a pause. “I’ll be back okay?” Sana peels off Momo’s hands and holds it tenderly for a moment before tilting her head in the direction of the kitchen. “Just gonna grab the medical kit.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The word ‘Love’ seems so lacking, so basic and doesn’t even begin to cover the emotions that Momo feels bursting out of her but it is the best word she’s got. Momo loves noodles, she loves dogs, she loves watching dramas and she loves gongcha but it doesn't feel right to group Sana together with those things. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>Sana is something much, </em>much <em>more than what words can describe and 'love' is the probably the closest one she has.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Pouting, Momo lets Sana go while keeping her eyes trained on every single movement made by her wife, afraid that if she so much as blinks she would just vanish. Sana gives a little wave to her wife, humming to herself as she opens up cabinets, tip toeing and peering in before pulling a small bag out. “Remind me to buy more of those little Pororo snacks that Tzuyu loves so much, we’re running low and she needs at least one in her lunch pack.” Sana speaks out loud as she digs through the medical kit, holding it by her side as she skips back to the couch. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Plucking off the slipper and throwing it over her shoulder, Sana dabs a small piece of alcohol swab on her wife's foot and unwraps a cute band-aid before pasting it on, giving it a soft pat before folding her feet on Momo’s stomach.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Please, please don’t let this be just a dream.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Letting out a disgruntled noise, Momo pokes at the soles of Sana’s feet, smirking when her wife twitches her toes in annoyance. She runs her hands up her calves, messaging lightly as she knows that Sana gets sore easily from standing all day at the Kindergarten and the appreciative groan alerts her of her wife’s gratitude.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>But that’s not quite true. There </em>is<em> a word that perfectly conveys exactly what Momo is feeling, that explains exactly why her heart clenches and tightens to the point where she thinks that she can’t breathe but is also the best feeling that she has ever experienced. </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Something that describes the butterflies fluttering around her tummy, the reason why her hands feels so clammy and how her feet won’t stop buzzing like she just wants to dance and shout to the world that she is in love. Something that keeps her going even when she's hit her lowest point.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>There is a word.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>That word is ‘Sana’.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Uncapping the tiny box of ointment, Sana dips her fingers into it and gathers a large amount of balm before leaning forward, smearing it across Momo’s cheeks in a circular motion, rubbing the ointment in. “I wonder if they sell those cute little cartoon cutters in ArtBox?” Sana asks while eyeing her wife’s cheeks for any area that was let untouched. “Maybe Tzuyu will eat her vegetables if it’s shaped like Doraemon!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Maybe it doesn’t make much sense, how can a name possibly reflect her feelings? How can a name mean so much more than the very word used to describe every romantic feeling in every culture in the world?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Laughing hysterically to herself in that loud high-pitched voice (<strike>Momo misses this, she doesn't know how bad she's been wanting to hear her laughter</strike>), Sana twists the cap back on before Momo catches her wrist in a tight grip as she just stares, taking in the way her hair curls under her ear and never has she ever wanted to kiss someone this much. Sana places the bottle back into the case while holding onto Momo's hand with the other, squeezing to give reassurance.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>But it isn’t </em>just <em>a name to Momo. It belongs to the one person in the world that makes her feel this way.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>She wants, she <em>needs-</em></strike>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I've been surfing MomCafé and they have so many recipes I want to try out! Maybe if I make those cute bentos for her, Tzuyu will find it easier to make friends. What do you think?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> <em>It belongs to Sana.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Baby?" The confusion in her wife's voice brings Momo back and she snaps her eyes to look Sana in the eyes. She feels something lodging itself in her throat that just won’t leave no matter how hard she swallows when she takes in the warm, honey brown shade.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She never thought she wold ever see those eyes ever again, never see the love and pure adoration swirling in them and she feels her fingers start to shake. Just looking at her makes Momo want to drop down on her knees and confess every single thing she has been through, has been thinking of.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Tzuyu has the exact same shade according to everyone but not to Momo. No, Tzuyu's is missing something. Something she can only find in Sana. Something she has been aching to see again and now, now Momo finds it hard to breathe as she stares at her reflection shining in Sana’s eyes.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sana. Sana. Sana.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(A piece of her slots right back in.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Momo husks out and she licks her lips uncertainly “I know I don’t say this often but I love you.” She tugs Sana forward and wraps her arms around her wife and Sana rests her head on the officer’s chest, right above her heart. “I do, I love you so much I don’t know what to do with myself.” She confesses, pressing her lips against the younger woman’s temple as if trying to imprint her words into her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Something starts trickling into the large empty hole in her heart, filling up its depths slowly where it used to lay empty for years. A pleasant warmth lingers as the pulsating sensation continues; she feels like she can finally breathe again without like every part of her is screaming out. It doesn't take any effort on her part to smile, she doesn't feel like falling apart at the seams when she feels any semblance of happiness. The incessant voice in her head is gone for once, silent and absent as she holds Sana against her chest. And with every smile from her wife, she feels a small part of her returning, healing. She feels like <em>Momo</em> again.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana peeks up at her wife, clawing slightly at her shirt as she pushes the older woman down on the couch, making herself comfortable. “I love you too Momo. So, so much.” Her words were a little muffled and Momo feels more than hears what she said and the younger woman further supplements her feelings by tracing it over and over across Momo's back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(<strike>Every single inch of her has been touched by Sana. Every memory, every dream and every wish. Sana has been so ingrained in her that <em>everything</em> in Momo contains at least a tinge of the younger woman. Sana is a part of her, always has and now Momo doesn't know <em>how</em> to be Momo without her. She doesn't think it possible.</strike>)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The soothing motions lulls Momo to sleep, her eyes start to flutter close at the faint patterns that she feels Sana start to draw and she wiggles deeper into the couch, making sure her arms are wrapped securely over her wife as she starts to settle in for the day. She yawns loudly, tears springing to her eyes and she hears Sana following suit as her breathing mellow out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(<strike>Momo wonders if there would still be a person named Momo in a world where Sana does not exist.)</strike></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tucking her head close under Momo’s chin, Sana’s eyes flutter open just a teensy bit as she mouths ‘Goodnight’, fingers toying with her wife’s collar as she snuggles in.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Please, please still be here when I wake up.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"..." </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo cracks an eye open, feeling somewhat unsettled when the air conditioner turns itself off, causing the air to still and thicken as she pushes herself up on the couch.She places one hand at the back of Sana’s head, not wishing to disturb her peaceful rest when she hears her wife mumbling quietly into her chest.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hmm?” She hums, giving a quite peck on top of Sana’s head “What did you say?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana doesn’t move. “…hurts.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What?” Momo makes to push Sana gently away from her, frowning when the younger woman wouldn’t look up and instead slumps over lethargically.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…It hurts.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She slowly tilts her head up, staring straight at Momo who offers a hand for Sana to hold while she scans her body, intent on finding the issue when suddenly a spot of red starts blooming over her navel, staining her shirt and feeling wet to the touch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The officer curses in shock, scrambling to pull out a few sheets of tissue on the table as she tugs Sana’s shirt up, pressing them over the wound. “What happened?!” She demands, spitting out a few choice words that she hopes Tzuyu can’t hear when blood starts seeping through her fingers, dripping onto the couch. The officer dusts the area where Sana has lying at, thinking perhaps a few unnoticed shards of glass was hurting her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Momo, it hurts so bad.” Sana coughs out, placing a palm over the injured area and turns her hand up, the stickiness of the blood sliding down her fingers sicken Momo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pulling away to frantically yank out more tissues, she notices three more bloody patches appearing rapidly on her wife’s body, drenching her outfit in red in mere seconds. In her panic, Momo yanks Sana’s shirt off, the other woman offering no resistance even when the officer was being rather rough in her treatment.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Oh no </em>Momo thinks, feeling her mind screeching to a halt as she comes face to face with four very familiar wounds that starts to deepen before her very eyes, widening and scarring. Momo sees the way her wife's flesh tears and gives way, every gasp of pain increasing in volume. Wounds that she used to see whenever she so much as closes her eyes, tormenting her for years.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Of course.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Tzuyu </em>She thinks blankly, frozen in her seat <em>I need to get Tzuyu out of here.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Not) Sana reaches out for her, eyes wide with panic and fear. “M-Momo? Please help me.” She stops short, clutching against her abdomen before hunching over, a wave of pain crashing through her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo hesitates, her hand stopping short of holding (Not) Sana upright.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But still, even if this was a dream this is still Sana. This is still her wife; this is still the woman she loves and Momo can’t just sit there and watch her essentially bleed to death. Even if none of this is real, even if she is not <em>hers</em>, this is still Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Still Sana. Still Sana. Still Sana.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(<strike>Momo realizes that no matter what Sana looks like, no matter what Sana becomes, she will <em>always</em> take her back.</strike>)</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Momo.” (<strike>Not</strike>) Sana whimpers and it kicks the officer into action. She clenches her fist, softly counting under her breath as she quickly pushes off all the cushions, making more room for the younger woman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Momo forces herself to focus on her breathing, to concentrate. To count. <strike>She just wants Sana back.</strike>)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>One. Two. Three.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Sana grabs onto her sleeve as she curls into the officer’s embrace, hissing when she accidentally agitates her injuries and Momo rubs the side of her head soothingly, trying to ignore the clumps of hair that begins to fall out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her hands tremble viciously, goose bumps pricking across her arms and her heart sinks low into her stomach. This is not her area of expertise; she has never been trained for something like this before. She doesn’t quite know what to do with a woman literally falling apart in her arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t know how to stop the pain when Sana writhes, clawing at her chest as she begs for the officer to help her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(But she knows Sana, she knows that her wife is hurting. So, Momo will try. She <em>must</em>.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Four. Five. Six.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Gently tipping Sana onto her back, Momo maintains eye contact with the younger woman, trying to soothe her as she presses her shirt against the wounded spots, tenderly resting the younger woman’s head on a throw pillow when she feels her fingers dipping into something mushy, something wet and she slowly drags her eyes over.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Seven. Eight. Nin-</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her fingers were pressing <em>into</em> Sana’s skull, the younger woman pants with a light sheen of sweat coating her face, unaware that the back of her head has dented and crumbled slightly like she had received a large blow.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With a yell, Momo tugs her hand out as she falls of the couch, feeling bile rising in her throat and she gags when she sees the exposed part of her brain, heaving dryly over the carpet. Her fingers were drenched in some unidentified liquid with pinkish globs stuck on her nails and Momo feels sick.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Sana asks, still doubled over in pain as she cranes her head towards the officer. Her neck twists from the movement and the skin below her jaw cracks and splinters like the younger woman was a porcelain doll.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” She asks again, voice soft and measured and utterly unaware of the fact that her body is creaking and falling apart. A small stream of blood trickles down the side of her lips and she winces, coughing hard. She notices the look of horror etched on Momo's face as her chest rise and falls rapidly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana's skin cracks further, a line splitting down perfectly on her right cheek as some flacks falls off and exposures the pulsing flesh underneath that darkens and shrivels almost immediately.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Slowly slides off the couch, she crawls towards Momo who scrambles backwards on her elbows, toppling the table in her haste to get away. “Moguri?” She stops moving, eyes curious before it flickers, awareness streaming in and the light brown shade darkens with hurt and disbelief.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Are you leaving me?” Sana bites out, hand covering the left side of her face as a strip of skin peels off as if she trying to slow down the rate at which she is decomposing at. “Leaving me to die <em>again</em>?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>No, that’s not it. </em>Momo desperately wants to say but all she can think about was the ever-growing pool of blood gathering around Sana, more than what was humanely possible as her wife’s words cut deep into her, toying with the darkest thoughts kept shut tight within her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That it truly was her fault that Sana died that night, just as she has always suspected, has always blamed herself for.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That Momo had essentially left her to die.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I thought you love me."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I never meant for this to happen.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Crawling over, Sana places one bloodied hand over the officer’s as she coughs hard, a spot of blood splattering on Momo’s shirt. “I needed you Momo, why didn’t you help me?” With the proximity, Momo can hear the wheeze layered under every word, can feel how Sana is struggling to breathe as she pushes on and she’s struck with a thought.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Was this how Sana felt that day as she laid bleeding on the ground? Was she asking for me, hoping I would have made it in time to help her?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo has always blamed herself for that day <strike>but she doesn't know how she'll handle it if she knows Sana does to. </strike></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo feels her blood rushing in her ears with every beat of her heart and now more than ever does she feel the desire to rip the organ out of her chest. Maybe then it would finally stop the pain she feels ripping through her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It should have been me.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>(<strike>Maybe this is what it takes </strike></em><strike>Momo thinks, clutching at her chest as she pants, feeling lightheaded <em>But I can't. I can't die, I have-</em></strike>)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I was waiting for you, why didn’t you come?” Her palms felt rough and Momo notices a smear of soil wiped across her sleeves along with some dried blood, an exact replica of how her wife’s hands had looked that day as she laid on the operating table.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her nails were chipped in the exact way as well, the small teddy bear on her thumb decapitated and half-peeled off.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Caging her between her arms, Sana stares deep into the officer’s eyes pleadingly. “Help me, please.” She begs and Momo helplessly wraps her arms around her wife, tensing up when she feels bones where flesh should be. When she vowed to be by Sana's side in sickness and in health, this was not what Momo had envisioned.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>(She'll take Sana back no matter what because she <em>needs </em>her.)</strike>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana sags against her, wheezing from exertion and Momo hurts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(<strike>There is no</strike> Momo <strike>without Sana. There simply isn't. She</strike> has to <strike>move on, she knows she does. But how can she when there does not exist a world, a reality where Momo can live without her other half. Neither can she bear to look at her reflection even on her best days, seeing guilt smeared all over her body, unable to </strike>forgive<strike>. It's not that she does not want to. Momo just can't</strike>.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This is a dream; she knows it is.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>None of this is real </em>She thinks as she gives up on trying to stem the blood flow, instead rocking Sana in her arms. None of this is happening no matter how real it feels. <em>This is just a dream </em>She reminds herself as she feels this heaviness settling over her, fear crippling her soothing motions when Sana retches over her shoulder.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Momo wonders what Sana has ever done to deserve this. That even in her dreams, Sana is suffering.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>None of this is real, Momo knows this. But that is still Sana that she is holding. That is still Sana that is begging for help. This may not be the Sana she knows, this may be just one replica among the thousands stored within her dreams, just a pale imitation of the woman she had loved.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But this is still Sana even if she is breaking down physically in her arms. Even if this is a dream, Sana, in <em>any </em>version, is still <em>hers</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Still mine </em>She thinks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Still mine </em>She feels.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Still mine. </em>She remembers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even if Momo chokes on the pungent stench of decay wafting off Sana, even if she feels the stickiness of blood dripping onto her, cementing her to the floor. Even if Sana’s face starts to change, skin giving way to the darkened flesh underneath that teases a small exposure of bone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This is still Sana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She has already failed her once. Not again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Momo thinks, suspects, <em>knows </em>that losing Sana a second time would actually kill her. Even if this is all just some sick delusion her mind cooked up for her, Momo still can’t handle the thought of Sana wasting away and yet she is powerless to do anything. She barely survived the first time after all.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Mommy?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>No </em>Momo squeezes her eyes shut as she grits her teeth, hunching over the trembling figure of her wife. <em>Please no.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>Limping over, Tzuyu stumbles towards her parents seated on the floor and leans into the open armed embrace Momo holds out. The toddler pants slightly from exertion, her fringe soaked in sweat as she clutches at her right leg, pulling up her pants.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Not Tzuyu. Please, not her.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Pain.” The toddler whimpers softly, trying to tuck her head into Momo’s neck, seeking comfort whereas Sana pulls back slightly, eyeing her daughter carefully. The officer gently tilts Tzuyu’s head left and right, taking note of the pained expression and she swipes her daughter’s hair backwards in a comforting gesture.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why are you awake?” She tries to keep her voice calm so as to not startle her daughter when Tzuyu reaches down to clutch at her leg, squinting one eye. “It hurts here mommy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo looks down to see little blistering holes appearing on her daughter’s leg, burning through her like she was nothing but paper. “Mommy?” Momo starts to tremble, grip loosening as she falls back on the ground, still holding on to Tzuyu.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her daughter starts feeling lighter and lighter as her body starts to crumble, turning into dust while she buries her head into Momo’s shirt. “…Scared.” She whimpers, trembling as she clings onto her mother in a desperate search for comfort and yet Momo offers nothing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Momo knows this is a dream. She knows none of this is real. But knowing that does absolutely <em>nothing </em>to stop the onslaught of panic and fear wrecking through her.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay Tzuyu, it’s okay. Mommy’s here.” She tries, rubbing her daughter’s head gently and ignoring how a clump of hair just falls out, twining around her fingers. “It’s okay.” She coos weakly, unable to look her daughter in the eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Perhaps it is precisely because this is a dream that is why it scares her so. Momo is utterly powerless in this realm and try as she might, there is nothing she can do to alleviate the pain her wife and child is feeling. Once again, she is failing them.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana holds one of Tzuyu’s chubby hands in her’s, pushing one slim finger into her fist as she mumbles. “This is all your fault, you know that right?” She nods towards the toddler whose complexion turns paler by the second while Momo tries to hold tight, slowing down the rate at which she was disappearing at.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(It is a dream, the very first where she got to hold both Sana and Tzuyu in her arms at once. This is also the very first instance where Tzuyu is injured and possibly dying.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>This,” </em>Sana gestures between her and the toddler “This is all because you couldn’t protect us.” She reaches into her body, fingers digging through a wound by her chest, stoically tearing it open. Momo flinches when she hears a <em>squelching</em> noise, jolting when Sana pulls out a small dented bullet and rolls it along her bloodied knuckles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Her daughter. Her baby. All she has left.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu grip on her mother’s shirt weakens, jerking when Sana pushes the bullet into the side of her body and Momo yells, shoving her wife away while she cradles the toddler. “Tzuyu?” Momo tries but her daughter’s complexion turns ashen before she dissipates, leaving Momo to clutch desperately at Tzuyu’s pyjamas.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Fail. Failing. Failed.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ah…” Momo whimpers, voice cracking when she moves her arms and wiggles the small bundle of cloth as if Tzuyu was merely playing hide and seek. With that motion, dust particles trickle out from the hem of the shirt, spilling out over Momo’s lap.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The room starts to spin and Momo slumps over, clenching her hands sporadically. Her blood-stained fingers flexes and the heavy metallic scent of gore fills her nostrils. She starts to wheeze with how hard she is breathing, slowly twists out her wedding ring and using her shirt to clean off the blood smeared on it pathetically before setting it aside.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wishing to distract herself, Momo starts to fold Tzuyu’s clothes and she mumbles a soft apology to Mina for getting blood all over the new pyjamas. The officer holds up both sleeves and tucks it behind, pressing down hard to ensure it retains it perfect square shape like she has witness Mina doing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The cute little elephant icon at the front of the shirt seems to mock her, turning into an image of the toddler in Momo’s eyes and the officer turns away, biting down hard on her lips as she covers her face, shuddering with effort to just breathe.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She swipes at her eyes, slouching as she tries her best to stop crying when the stickiness ceases spreading across her face, her hands feeling smooth and dry.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Of all her dreams, this has been the most realistic by far. This has been the only one where she got to touch Sana and feel her wife against her, the only one to remember the little scar tucked into the side of her forehead, the only one to get the brown of her eyes right. This has been the only one that had included Tzuyu, the only one where she got to see Sana touching their daughter, offering a small glimpse into the life they would have had together if only life wasn’t so cruel. Maybe that is why this dream hurts the most. Because this is something Momo simply <em>couldn’t </em>have no matter how many nights she spends on her knees, begging anyone who will listen. To dangle this right in front of her, <em>knowing </em>how badly she wanted this...)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>Momo wonders how many times a heart can break until there is nothing left.</strike>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Momo blinks, rubbing her fingers along her palms and feeling the smoothness. Her hands (<strike>Murderer</strike>) are clean and yet they feel heavy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Her hands were clean of blood. More specifically, her hands were clean of <em>Sana’s</em> blood. Momo doesn’t mention the small patch staining her pants turning ever darker from where Tzuyu had laid just moments prior. Momo doesn’t know what this means, and she isn’t sure whether she wants to.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…It’ll be her soon, you know that right?” Sana breaks the silence, bringing her wife’s attention back to her as she stares morosely at the tiny bundle of pyjamas. She slouches over the table, lacking the energy to hold herself upright as she makes eye contact with the officer who picks at her pants distractedly, trying to wipe off the stain and getting increasingly frustrated when it smudges and spreads further. "No." Momo grunts out, nails scrapping into her pants "I would never let-"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“If you couldn’t save me, what makes you think you can protect her?” Sana cuts in smiling, teeth looking razor sharp and Momo swallows hard, fingertips burning from the friction as she rubs harder. “It’s only a matter of time now Momo, one of these days you’re going to get a call and it’s going to be about her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Momo’s head hurts)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The younger woman laughs emptily, voice bouncing off the walls as the officer shakes, vision blurring, whether from tears or pure exhaustion. “Well, it <em>has </em>been a little lonely these days,” Sana picks up Tzuyu’s shirt, running her fingers through the softness of the fabric before pressing her lips on the character logo, smiling when she leaves a bloodstain in the shape of a kiss. “but Tzuyu’s joining me shortly and <em>I can’t</em> wait.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her eyes, once filled with so much warmth and love snap up to look at her wife one final time, this time full of hate and coldness. Momo does not recognize this woman in front of her. “I know you haven’t been able to go on dates with Mina often because of your job and Tzuyu but don’t worry, soon it’ll just be the two of you.” She tears the shirt apart, the loud rip resonating in the officer’s ears that sounded like a scream not unlike Tzuyu’s.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mina will finally have you <em>all </em>to herself.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Succumbing to the throbbing pain in her head, Momo closes her eyes and falls backwards endlessly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana's eyes <strike>are</strike> was so brown.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Momo wakes up screaming.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey guys welcome back to part 2! Sorry I took so long, had to juggle some school stuff and job interviews &gt;&lt;</p><p>I've hidden some hints in this chapters so let's see if you guys can guess what's going to happen 😚</p><p>Also, feel free to pop by Twitter @Bananamilk4life and drop any suggestions you want to see in this story! Instead of it being so gloomy all the while, I'll like to write some light-hearted stuff but I'm not really good at that TT if you guys have any scene you would like to see feel free to tell me! 😆</p><p>Hope you guys enjoy this update and please don't think long comments are a burden! In fact I love reading every comment especially those that contain your thoughts and interpretation of the story since it shows that people are really reading and thinking XD</p><p>See you next time!</p><p>#TwiceMeetAgain</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Transaction approved</em>
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</p><p> </p><p>Mina slides her credit card back into her wallet before accepting her latte with a small nod of her head, thanking the attendant and makes her way to the back of the café, choosing an empty seat by the window.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Placing her handbag securely by the seat next to her, Mina stirs her straw absentmindedly, the ice cubes bobble as she taps her fingers. Tilting her left wrist slightly, she catches a glimpse of the watch hidden underneath her sleeve.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hmm, I still have an hour left before I need to pick Tzuyu up.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She takes a long sip of her coffee, pulling a face as she smacks her lips lightly before pushing it to the side slightly, waiting for some of the ice to melt before drinking again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mina?” The Japanese jerks her head up at the sound of her name, surprise colouring her face when she sees Eunha, now spotting a cute bob as the Korean starts waving energetically. Eunha sets down her plate of muffin and coffee loudly, presumptuously sliding onto the seat in front of Mina while still grinning brightly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Crossing her legs and straightening her back automatically, Mina schools her face into one of polite neutrality.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey Mina! It’s so good to see you <em>and </em>at my favourite café!” Eunha pretend to count off her fingers, folding one after another “How long has it been since I last saw you…” Mina musters a weak smile, her cozy atmosphere disrupted and now she finds herself feeling awkward as her mind races to find a topic, <em>any </em>topic as knowing Eunha, she wouldn’t let the two of them just sit in silence.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Eyes flickering all over Eunha’s face, she takes in the bright shade of lip tint that Mina briefly remembers being advertised as the newest trend (<em>She looks better in darker hues </em>Mina thinks) and notices a new piercing on her left ear.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her tapping increases in pace.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, I’ve been rather busy these days.” The Japanese jolts in her seat when Eunha barks out a laugh, feeling the Korean patting her hand as she tries to stifle her giggles. “I’m just kidding! No need to apologize.” She calms down slightly, wiping at her eyes. “Gosh, you’re still as awkward even though we’ve known each other for so long.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>We never really talked much outside of work </em>Mina nearly says, feeling the need to defend herself bubble up within her throat. Eunha had joined the hospital the same time Mina did, the two of them assigned to each other for their rounds as a nurse and surgeon respectively and Eunha has assisted Mina on countless surgeries but still, the Japanese doesn’t feel quite sure if she could call the shorter woman a friend.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Perhaps in the loosest way I can define a friend as being able to work alongside her comfortably, than yes, she is a friend.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Mina purses her lips before pointing to the tiny muffin sitting prettily on the plate which looked as if it was made out of pure sugar. (<em>Safe topic </em>Mina reminds herself <em>Safe topic</em>) “What flavour did you get?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh this?” Eunha pushes the plate a little closer towards the Japanese “Marshmallow surprise!” She then narrows her eyes playfully “Hey, don’t try to distract me with small talk! Let’s talk about you!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>The last time we talked had been when she set me up with one of her friends </em>Mina thinks, picking at her fingers <em>I wonder if she’s annoyed that I didn’t try harder to make things work.</em></p><p>
  
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</p><p>Noticing how the Japanese’s hands tighten around each other, “Loosen up a little, won’t you?” Eunha picks up her mug before tapping it against Mina’s cup with a little too much force, nearly toppling it if not for Mina immediately grabbing onto her latte. Her grip tightens momentarily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(“Isn’t that the Myoui kid?” Whispers start circulating around as they take curious peeks at Mina. "Yeah but don't you think she's kinda stuck up? She doesn't talk to anyone who approaches." A boy from a neighbourhood school shrugs dismissively to his friends, all of them snapping their heads to stare at Mina who balls her hands up underneath her skirt, feeling their gaze prickling all over her skin like tiny knives.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, just a little tired from this morning.” Mina lowers her gaze, staring at the small puddle of water forming just underneath her cup. <em>Maybe it’ll taste better now? </em>She thinks. She takes a sip, chewing on the straw and she grimaces again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’ll request less syrup next time.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Look! You’re apologizing again, relax okay? It’s just you and me and we’re not at work now.” Eunha cups her chin, leaning on her palm onto the table as she studies Mina intently, noticing a tiny blue star sticker no bigger than a grain of rice stuck just underneath Mina’s jaw.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina fidgets restlessly when Eunha keeps staring at her face and she scratches at her wrist softly, fighting the urge to check her reflection. “Hey,” Eunha starts, curious rounds eyes flicking up to look Mina in the eyes “How’s the kid? Tzuyu if I’m not wrong.” She pulls out her phone and swipes to Instagram, showing one of Mina’s latest posts to the Japanese. “This is her right?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Oh, that’s right. I nearly forgot that Eunha follows me</em>. Mina focuses on the little dimpled smile on the toddler’s face as she nibbles thoughtfully on a stick of caramel candy and that triggers a similar smile to ghost upon her face, heart warming before sliding off her face at Eunha’s next question.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re dating her mom now right?” She tilts her head to the side, doe eyes suddenly sharp “Wasn’t she a patient of yours back then?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(She remembers the way Nayeon’s lips curl back in a sneer subtly and how the gleam in Jihyo’s eyes dim ever so slightly when Momo introduces her. Mina notices many things, but she doesn’t say a word.)</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“…Yes.” Mina stares straight ahead at Eunha’s direction but angles her eyes slightly to the left so she doesn’t look her colleague in the eyes. The Korean whistles low but to Mina’s ears it sounded shrill and blaring. “Wow so were the rumours true?” Eunha chews her lower lips, trying to phrase her question properly “Did you really request a team just to care for her at home?” She leans slightly towards the Japanese.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Did you really…do all this just to get closer to her?” Mina’s eyes snap towards Eunha’s and the shorter woman flinches at the sudden look of fury and indignation alight on the Japanese’s face. “What are you saying.” Mina grits out and Eunha puts up both hands pacifically “You have to admit that it looks a little suspicious that the best performing surgeon of our batch suddenly took off to care for some woman and then end up dating her.” Eunha quickly adds in “I don’t think that way of course! Just saying that’s what’s spreading among the hospital.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“How did they know about it anyways?” Mina questions, feeling the prickling sensation of heat crawling up the base of her neck and she presses her index finger onto her thumb, breaking skin. <em>I only have two followers on Instagram, Momo and her. How did they know, what else do they know, who told them.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Her mind trudges on.</p><p>
  
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</p><p><em>Only two people know of her Instagram which is private. The only platform she uses to document her life and she only uploads Tzuyu’s pictures there. Momo doesn’t know any of her colleagues so that leaves </em>Eunha<em>.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Mina shakes her head discreetly, disguising her action as trying to adjust her hair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Stop. </em>She thinks to herself. <em>Stop. Stop. Stop.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Well, remember when your girlfriend ended up in ER from a stab wound? The police commissioner visited her right?” Eunha talks as she lifts up her fork, waving it in the air in a carefree manner, a sharp contrast to the way Mina tenses immediately. “She had a bit of a spat with him didn’t she? Like literally, spitting on him.” She takes a chunk out of her muffin, stuffing it in her mouth as she moans from the flavour.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She tries to offer some to Mina, but the Japanese shakes her head. “Anyways,” Eunha chews, voice muffled, and Mina places her hands underneath her thighs, eyeing the little crumble by the side of her colleague’s lips. “They were being really loud, and gossip travels fast you see. By lunch time everyone was talking about the ‘poor officer’ who lost her wife.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina bites down on her bottom lip, chastising herself for jumping to conclusions again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Poking at the wrapper, Eunha speaks softly this time. “And as your friend, I have to admit I’m feeling a little worried.”</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>Mina stays silent, waiting for Eunha to finish her thought. “It’s just, this is your first relationship, right?” She doesn’t wait for confirmation, Mina shares <em>little </em>about herself and whatever that she is privy to, Eunha remembers clearly. “First relationships are all about trying things out, learning about how it feels to be loved and all that. It’s supposed to be something soft and nice, where you can figure out what exactly do you like and what makes you tick.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Forehead creasing in confusion, Mina watches on as her colleague toys with her fork.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And…I say this with all the love in the world but,” Eunha hesitates slightly, perhaps finally realizing that she is currently walking on eggshells. “I just don’t think this is a really good idea.” Upon seeing Mina’s blank look, Eunha hurries to correct herself. “I mean that maybe, just <em>maybe</em>, this might be a little too heavy for you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“A woman just lost her wife and has an infant, that situation is enough to bring anyone to their knees and yet you jumped right into it. Maybe not romantically at first but still, it can’t be easy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A little annoyed at how Eunha is insisting on beating around the bush, Mina wets her lips. “…What are you trying to say?” The shorter woman exhales loudly “There’s a lot of baggage in there and I don’t think it’s right for you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Twisting her fingers warily, Eunha starts playing with one of her napkins, feeling a little unnerved from how Mina is just staring at her. “I know this is harsh, but I think that maybe she might not be able to give you what you want or need you know? Like Momo is a mother first and foremost, her kid is going to be priority number one and she lost her wife just a few years back. Did she even get to grieve properly?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina is reminded again why she chose not to disclose her relationship status to those around her needlessly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Stop it.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“And I’m sure you said that you’re not really good with kids, remember that fund raiser we did for the orphanage? I thought you were trying to melt into the wall with how hard you were hiding in the corner. Also remember how this little boy wanted to use the bathroom so you lead him there but instead of holding hands, you both held the ends of a pen?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Clapping her hands loudly as she chuckles fondly at the memory, Eunha continues “So I was <em>really </em>surprised to hear that you’re actively taking care of someone’s kid! Like, I was thinking to myself ‘Is this really <em>Mina</em>?’ when I saw your first Instagram update!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Like, that’s such a huge change in personality! How is that even possible? It’s like asking me to have a spider as a pet.” Eunha shudders for effect, shoulders drawn up to her chin.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Because I love her.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Mina feels her jaw aching from how hard she is clenching her teeth together.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And you’re such a catch Mina!” The Korean squeaks out, eyes shining suddenly. “Heck, there’s that nurse from the orthopaedic department that has the <em>hugest </em>crush on you! And that paediatrician we got from America; she talks about you <em>all the time</em>. Every time you drop by for a quick little visit there’s bound to be gossip about you.” She stops to take a breath from her speech, her energy dissipating with her next words.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So…I guess what I’m trying to say is why Momo? She’s cute, don’t get me wrong but so are so many other women.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Because I love her.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Just why do you stay? I know things with your parents haven’t been easy. Homophobia is <em>so</em> dumb.” She rolls her eyes dramatically “but I’m just worried you know? I don’t want you to, well for the lack of a better word, <em>cling</em> onto the first woman that returns your feelings.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Because I love Momo, I love her so much sometimes I lie awake in pain because I don’t know what to do with my heart. I love her so much it aches and strains all day until I get to be by her side once more.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to make your mind right now, here I’ll send you their contact nu-”</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Don't.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pushing her chair back with a screech, Mina stares down Eunha unblinkingly, nudging away her phone with the back of her hand.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Mina? Hey, I’m sorry if I offended you.” Eunha truly looked apologetic, head tilted downwards as she quietly places her phone back into her bag. “I’m sorry. I was just feeling worried because I don't get to see you as much as before ans I can’t really tell how you’re doing these days.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You don’t know anything. You don’t know what Momo is like. You never saw the way she would hold me after a phone call with my parents, you never saw the way she would gently encourage me to pursue my interests, always trying to participate even if she doesn’t care for it.</em>
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</p><p>
  
</p><p>Mina’s hands feel hot and her fingers start buzzing at the tips as Eunha rambles on.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>You don’t know the Momo who would take time out of her schedule to arrange prep talks in the juvenile detention centres, hoping to bring some of the kids back on the right path and offering advice and being the parental guidance so many of them lack.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Her watch lights up from underneath her sleeve, a short melody playing as the alarm she had set rung out.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You don’t see the good she does, you don’t know how hard she works. None of you do. All you know of her is that officer who lost her wife, all you know is just her name.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“I just wanted to make sure that Momo is good to you, that you’re happy and all that. I’m sorry for overstepping, I-”</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>You don’t know </em>anything<em>.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Goodbye Eunha.” She swipes her drink off the table, splashing some of the water it had been sitting on onto her coat before turning away briskly, heels clicking loudly on the hardwood floor.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wait Mina-!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>On her way out, Mina tosses her unfinished cup into the trash can. The sweetness from earlier turning into the sort bitterness that she just can’t seem to wash off her tongue. Her heart pounds harshly but she isn’t sure if it was from the coffee or the adrenaline bursting through her veins.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Note to self: Avoid this café in the future and all those within five blocks from here.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>For all her bravado earlier, Mina can’t help shuffling to the very front of the preschool, finding a good spot to wait for Tzuyu while maintaining a distance from the other parents.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her grip on her handbag tightens when she hears a woman guffaw at the back, clearly sharing some jokes with the other moms and Mina feels sorely out of place. She looks around her fugitively, noticing how everyone has somehow formed groups except for her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Huddling closer towards the streetlight, Mina hopes the press of the cold metal against her hip would make up for the emptiness by her side.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(“Look, look! That girl is alone again.” A few classmates school whisper out loud, openly staring curiously. “Wonder if no one likes her?” Mina clutches Ray’s leash closer towards her, feeling her puppy’s warm body pressing against her leg.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yo!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Someone tackles her in a hug, a squeal escaping her lips as Mina struggles to stay upright before a lock of pink hair dangles in front of her. “You’re early again today!” Jihyo grins brightly, pulling off Mina before locking their arms together.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Park Jihyo, Chaeyoung’s mother </em>Mina thinks, a marker scribbling on a card within her mind. <em>Nice. Kind. Beautiful. Funny. </em>The marker pauses midway, hovering uncertainly. <em>Friend(?)</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Come!” She lugs the two of them to a cooler spot hidden just under a blooming tree as they sit down on a bench meant for two and Mina finds that she doesn’t mind the press of Jihyo’s thighs against her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Eomma!” A squeaky voice shouts out before Jihyo untangles herself from Mina, dropping down into a squat as she holds her arms out, welcoming Chaeyoung into a hug. She presses a few messy kisses on Chaeyoung cheeks while the toddler squeals and squirms in her mother’s grasp.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu toddles somewhere behind the sudden crowd of children, looking lost while cuddling her plushie as she walks slowly, scanning the surrounding.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She lights up when she spots Mina waving at her, legs picking up speed as she runs towards the Japanese, tripping over her feet and she nearly lands on her face if not for Mina swooping in. Tzuyu holds up Minjoong and taps its snout against Mina’s cheek for a quick second “Hi mama.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey baby.” Mina mumbles, patting down Tzuyu’s uniform and adjusts her coat while the toddler holds up a hand, a small Ziploc bag dangling in her fist. “What’s this?” Taking the little packet from the toddler, Mina turns it this way and that, seeing six little seeds within. Tzuyu shrugs off her bag, unzipping it and pulling out a white sheet with boxes drawn on it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Mina notices the various stickmans and animals doodled everywhere on the paper along with Chaeyoung’s and Tzuyu’s name scribbled messily as they circle around each other.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mama,” She starts, holding the paper upright “Grow seeds and draw them.” Pointing to a box, Tzuyu scrunches her nose as she tries to recall what her teacher said.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Folding her hands behind her back, Sana squats down next to her daughter, voice soft as she repeats Miss Kim’s instructions. “You have to document your plants growth! A box for every stage as it grows taller.” She taps Tzuyu’s head before lifting her finger higher and higher with each interval. “Grow!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Opening her mouth, Chaeyoung cuts in abruptly and jabs the paper hard enough that it crumples slightly. “Teacher said!” She shouts, clearly not aware of what an indoor voice means. “When seed grow, draw plant in a box!” She smiles proudly at the appreciative nod Mina gives her; chest puffed out when Jihyo ruffles her hair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Flipping the bag upwards, Mina notes that the seeds were green. <em>Green beans? </em>She thinks, already thinking about the different planting methods and trying to find a place for the seedlings for optimum sunlight. She eyes the identical packet being slung around by Chaeyoung, a familiar burn of competitiveness unfurling in her chest.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I could probably move the bookshelf out of the way to set up one of those foldable tables to place a pot. Should I get those liquid fertilizers? There is a sale online but I’m not sure if it covers gardening equipements.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Reaching up for the packet, Mina hands it over and the toddler carefully slides it into the breast pocket on her coat, the most secure place she could think of before tugging at Mina’s coat. She gives it a few pats, looking satisfied with herself when she feels the packets hidden within.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mulling over her options, Mina distractedly waves goodbye to Jihyo and barely notices the way the shorter woman mimes typing on her phone. <em>Talk to you soon </em>Jihyo mouths, the ends of her lips pulled up in a beautiful smile as she hoists Chaeyoung’s bag over her shoulder and adjusts the strap.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jihyo then forms a fist, tightening it. <em>I’ll crush you later!</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Fact: Park Jihyo, age thirty-two. Chaeyoung’s mother, fantastic cook and avid gamer with hobbies similar to herself. Has a slightly higher kill streak compared to Mina but the Japanese looks to change that during their gaming session tonight.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Wiggling her fingers in a gesture for goodbye, she pulls Tzuyu along as the two women go their separate way.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Mina has a really good feeling about Jihyo.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sugar, spice and everything nice!” Tzuyu sings as she skips down the street while holding hands with Mina. “These were the in-” She fumbles “In-In…chosen!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana scrunches her nose up in amusement as her daughter started singing her favourite theme song off key, deciding to hum along the lyrics as background music.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Cupping the side of her mouth, the ghost shouts softly “<em>Hi-rai Tzu-yu! Hi-rai Tzu-yu!” </em>She cheers as though the toddler was a world-famous idol and her an ever-loyal fan.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina nods along to Tzuyu’s singing, enjoying the calm atmosphere between the two of them when the toddler stops suddenly, staring down into an alley. She peeks in curiously, a thoughtful look crossing her face and before Mina could ask what was going on, Tzuyu tugs them both inside.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That’s when Mina heard it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A soft, high-pitched whine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Frowning, Mina strains her ears just in time to catch a faint whimper located just behind a mountain of trash bags and she quietly makes her way there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Gently pushing away a large piece of cardboard exposes a small tuff of brown fur sticking out in every direction from behind a trash can. Tzuyu gasps, pulling free from Mina’s hold to rush forward, hands on her knees as she exclaims “Puppy!” She looks back at Mina before pointing again as a small black nose poke around some of the discarded fast-food boxes. “Mama, puppy!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minjoong lays discarded on the floor, forgotten by its owner in her excitement.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alerted by the squealing, the puppy stumbles forward and trips over his own paws, doing a small flip as he rolls towards the toddler.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Bending down beside her daughter, Sana smiles gently as she baby talks the animal. “Hello, are you hungry?” The puppy stops and stares at Sana for a bit, sniffing the air curiously. He tilts his head in confusion, not understanding why Sana feels different compared to the two other humans but he limps forward nonetheless, circling around Sana’s feet before plopping himself down, exposing his tummy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His left hindleg extends out as he rolls about but his right twitches and curls up against his abdomen. <em>Is he hurt? </em>Mina wonders as she notes the way the puppy would avoid putting any strain on it, opting to balance precariously on three feet. She picks up the poor plushie and dusts it lightly before stuffing it into her handbag, adjusting its head out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu reaches forward to touch him before Mina quickly pulls her back by the hood on her coat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wait.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even though Mina addressed the toddler, Sana finds that she instinctively tucks her hands away as well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina squats down, checking for an older dog but finds none and she notices the way the puppy’s stomach looks caved in, clearly suffering from malnutrition and judging by the size of the animal, he couldn’t be any older than two months old.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No signs of his mom.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Pursing her lips when the puppy lets out a small whimper, sidling up next to the woman and rubbing himself on her leg, Mina pulls out a piece of tissue and rummages through the trash can before pulling put a slightly crumpled cardboard.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sets the board down on the ground before folding it back into its original box shape. Once satisfied that it would hold, she turns towards the puppy who is sitting down patiently, one ear flopped down adorably.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu, to the toddler’s credit, was still tucking her hands into her pockets and waiting as per instructed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey boy,” Mina whispers as she bends down to scoop the scruffy puppy up and depositing him inside the box, making sure he is comfortable “we’ll take care of you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Signing at the bottom smoothly, Mina completes the registration form as Tzuyu sits by herself on the floor at the clinic, smiling at the puppy. She picks up one of the many pet toys laying about and places one into the box and giggles when the puppy nudges the ball around with his snout.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tentatively sticking one finger into the box, she gently stroking the top of the his head and she gasps when she feels how sticky his fur was. <em>Ew. </em>She screws up her face at the black smear across her finger.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Hello,” The toddler starts off formally, voice low as the puppy’s ears stand at attention. “My name is Chewy.” Tzuyu puffs out her cheeks a little when those floppy ears twitch adorably. “What is your name?” She emphasizes on the honorific used as Miss Kim had taught her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re so cute!” Sana coos, cheeks aching from how hard she is smiling as she watches her daughter and she pitches her voice high. “Hi! Miss Tzuyu you are so <em>very</em> pretty!” She places one hand in front of the puppy and moves it up and down, prompting the animal to move his head as if he was speaking. “I do not have a name yet; can you choose one for me?” As if on cue, the puppy barks once, tongue lolling out cutely and Tzuyu giggles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Having fun?” Tzuyu looks up to see Mina smiling tiredly at her, the woman tucking her coat underneath her legs as she sits down next to the toddler. She pulls out a piece of wet tissue and automatically wipes Tzuyu’s hands, knowing that the young girl must have touched the puppy even when instructed not to.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her abrupt actions accidentally displace her keys and it flies out with a clank, sliding in front of the toddler who picks it up. As she holds it up to return to Mina, a small silver tag tilts out among the keys and Tzuyu squints, mouthing the name imprinted upon the badly tarnished and scratched surface.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Rwei?” She tries and Mina chuckles, placing her chin on top of the toddler’s head as she holds the tag out properly. “<em>Ray</em>” She corrects Tzuyu, pointing to each syllable written in Hiragana.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Leaning back against the woman, Tzuyu speaks up questioningly “Who is that mama?” Mina’s eyes fog over for a bit as if lost in her thoughts, fingers drifting over the indent on the tag softly before she finds her voice again. “He was…mama’s best friend.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A small image of a golden dachshund flits through her mind and Mina squeezes her eyes shut, heart aching more than thought possible. Her hand tightens across the dog tag, the metal pressing hard against her palm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Whilst the two humans were talking, Sana busies herself by playing with the puppy, hiding her face behind the flap of the cardboard and bursting out, each time with a silly expression on her face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She ducks her head low, hiding away from the puppy and upon hearing a slightly confused whine, she jerks her head up, eyes crossed as she wiggles her fingers weirdly “Peeka…boo!” The puppy yelps, delighted to find Sana again and he struggles to reach her, whining when he keeps sliding down the edges of the box because he wasn’t tall enough. “Peekaboo!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Covering her face behind her hands, Sana quickly exposes her face for a second before hiding again just like she used to do when Tzuyu was still a baby. “Boo!” She whisper-shouts, “Boo!” Each attempt was followed by a series of high-pitched barking that was loud for a puppy his size. His tiny frame shudders visibly each time he yelps, tail wagging a mile a minute and his paws shuffle restlessly, wanting someone to cuddle him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Deeply entertained, Sana changes her tactics by putting two fists next to her cheekbones and moves them up and down. “Seeing you like me so much makes me <em>Sha-Sha-Sha</em>!” Hearing herself butcher the famous song lyrics sends Sana into a fit as she chortles by herself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Miss Myoui?” The veterinary nurse stands up from behind the counter, holding out a hand to the right. “Mr Lee is ready for you now!” Nodding in acknowledgement, Mina gingerly picks up the box, making sure not to shake it too much as Tzuyu immediately latches onto her pant leg, causing the woman to shuffle awkwardly into the consultation room.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hello!” A chirpy middle-aged man greets the two, grinning when the tip of the puppy’s ears sticks out from the box. “What do we have here today?” He peeks inside, smile vanishing as he frowns when he sees the lopsided way the puppy was standing at and the visibly shape of his ribcage pushing under his skin with each breath.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Picking up the puppy, Mr Lee sets him down on a weighing scale while shining a light into the animal’s ears as he hums noncommittedly. Tzuyu looks up worriedly at Mina while the woman chews her bottom lip, not liking the sudden change in the vet’s mood.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well? What is it?” Sana asks as she hovers next to the man, pestering him for an answer as he gently massages the puppy’s abdomen and checks his teeth.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Clicking off his flashlight, he turns over to his sink and picks up a small bottle of liquid before squirting it onto a few pieces of cotton pad. Holding the puppy in place with one hand, Mr Lee inserts the pads into one of its ears. Grimacing, the vet flips over the used pad to show Mina the dark glob with something that looks like ticks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana’s nose scrunches up, skin prickling.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well, at first I thought this was a case of a lost puppy since he is most likely a pure bred,” The vet uses a cloth to wipe the dog down slightly, showing more of the shiny brown coat underneath the dirt and grime. “A Norwich terrier to be exact! And our friend here is only <em>two</em> months old judging by his teeth, just a baby.” He clicks his tongue when the puppy hobbles over to Mina, whining until the woman rubs him behind his ears softly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But as I’ve just showed you, the amount of dirt and ticks in his ear shows that he has been living on the streets for a <em>long </em>time and his stomach feels like there’s a lot of air inside. Probably because he wasn’t able to hunt or get any sources of food other than maybe some scraps if he is lucky.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He types something onto his computer with one hand, not bothering to look away from the puppy as he tries to clean his other ear carefully.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pushing up his glasses, Mr Lee sighs before tapping the right hindleg “See how it curls upwards?” Mina nods, rubbing the back of Tzuyu’s head soothingly when the toddler stands on her tippy toes to get a better look at the puppy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“See the back of his leg?” He gently turns the dog over, exposing a large red patch. “Nothing much to worry about actually, just a small infection. Some gel would be able to fix him up in no time.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He then scoops the puppy up against his chest and his hand dwarfs the tiny animal, holding him in such a way that the puppy’s hindlegs dangle. The vet gently tugs down the injured leg, ignoring the sharp yelp that follows. “This leg is a little shorter than the other, a birth defect.” Seeing the blank look on the toddler face, he explains further “It means he will not be able to run as well as the other dogs!” Setting down the puppy, he demonstrates the vet’s point by hobbling over to Tzuyu.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“He walks with a slight limp which means he was probably abandoned by his mom.” He gives a tight smile when he notices the look of horror flashing across Mina’s face. “It’s not uncommon for animals in the wild to abandon their offspring if they deem them unfit or if they’re a runt and there isn’t enough food to go around. And unfortunately for this little guy,” He gives the puppy a gentle caress “…he is both.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shaking her head, Sana leans forward on her elbows to be at eye level with the poor puppy, unable to fathom the thought of a mother just leaving her child behind. <em>I know it was for survival </em>Sana thinks as the puppy once again exposes his tummy, the concave state it is in causes Sana’s heart to constrict, picturing the little dog digging around fruitlessly for some food.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>But I just… </em>Sana looks across the table at her daughter, struggling to peek over and the lump in her throat increases. Her hand unconsciously flutters over her abdomen.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(A little blurry image flashes upon the monitor as the doctor zooms in, a tiny blob no bigger than a jellybean as Momo has so affectionately named their bump. Her wife smiles wetly as she squints at the monitor, not quite sure what she was looking at yet already feeling overwhelmed judging by the tight grip she has on Sana’s hand.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina hoists Tzuyu up so she could pat the puppy one last time, her eyes lighting up when he licks at her fingers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(<em>Small </em>was the word that came to Sana’s mind as she stares at the little dot on the monitor, feeling herself tear up with each pulse of heartbeat that echoes in the tiny room they were in. The baby was so small. So, <em>so </em>small yet so very precious.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sobering up quickly, Mr Lee looks at Mina whip clasping his hands together. “That would be all today, thanks for helping him out!” He directs the mother-daughter duo towards his sink “Please wash your hands over here and since he is a stray, you would get a discount for the consultation.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(That day, as she laid on the examination bed staring at the little dot that was her baby, Sana feels like she is being stretched to her limits with the love that she feels. The kind that reaches deep within her and finds root in her heart, spreading outwards with every breath she takes until there is not an inch of her left untouched. <em>Growing. Burning. Blinding</em>. It was a different kind of love from what she harbours towards Momo, but it was not any less intense.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pouting slightly, Sana whispers a soft goodbye to the puppy, the likelihood of him going home with them is close to zero as she knows that Momo has since stopped taking the pills for her allergy. As she pulls away, the puppy whines and tries to get her to stay by nipping at her fingers, teeth slipping through.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(For the longest time, it had been Momo and Sana. Two halves of a whole. But now, as Momo’s hand settles over hers atop her barely noticeable bump, Sana swears she feels the tiniest of flutters within her. Her world just got a little bigger, it’s Momo and Sana <em>and Baby </em>now. A whole new adventure is waiting for them and Sana can’t control the excitement coursing through her veins at the thought of holding their baby, <em>Momo’s</em> baby, in her arms.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Picking up Tzuyu, Mina holds her over the sink as the toddler meticulously scrubs between her fingers like how Mina had taught her. “That’s right Tzu-Tzu! Remember behind your thumbs too!” Sana places her hands into the sink and mimics washing them too.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(As her fingers drift over the ultrasound picture, Sana whispers “I <em>can’t</em> wait to meet you.”)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tzuyu lathers her hands in soap, jutting out her bottom lip slightly in concentration. <em>Her hands look a little bigger today </em>Sana bites her inner cheek, feeling her throat tighten at the prospect of her daughter growing up. “Slow down baby,” She says softly, watching the way her daughter scrubs hard “don’t grow up too fast okay?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana bites back the <em>Let me look at you just a little longer. Let me have just this, please </em>that threatens to slip through her lips.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me?” The vet whirls around with an easy-going smile as Mina licks her lips. “I was just wondering, what would happen to him now?” Tzuyu flicks her wet hands at the sink once, twice and three times before signalling for Mina to let her down as she toddles over to pull a piece of kitchen towel to dry her hands on. She pulls an extra piece and hold it by her side, waiting for Mina to be done.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, the puppy? First we’re going give him a bath to get the dirt off and remove the ticks. After that we’ll make some calls and then he is going to a shelter where hopefully someone adopts him.” Mina slowly presses down on the nozzle as soap gathers on her fingertips. “And how likely is it? That he finds a good home.” Mr Lee leans back on his table, folding his arms across his chest “Do you want an honest answer?” At her nod, he says quietly “…He doesn’t have a really good chance.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Turning on the tap, Mina breathes out as she slowly scrubs her hands, nails dragging downwards harshly. “I thought you said he is a pure bred? Isn’t that-” She cuts herself off when Tzuyu looks up at her, not wanting to alarm the little girl.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Catching Mina’s drift, the vet nods “Normally yes but his breed isn’t the most popular in Korea and recently there has been an uptick in the number of dogs being sent over to shelters. With so many needing a good home, it’ll be hard for him to stand a chance even though he is a puppy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He taps the dog’s leg again “Also, not many would bother with a slightly disabled one.” The puppy quickly turns around, pushing his head under the vet’s fingers as a way of getting the human contact he was craving for.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Accepting the towel held out by Tzuyu with a grateful smile, Mina walks closer to the vet, drooping her voice down to a whisper that Sana must strain to hear. “And what would happen to him, if he can’t find someone to take him in?” He exhales loudly, a muscle jumping in his jaw from how hard he had it clenched.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure you know what would happen, space is limited in those shelters and if he can’t find a home then…” He trails off, letting Mina fill in the blanks herself with a knowing look in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana freezes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Swallowing hard, Mina feels something wet poking at her hands and she looks down to see a small black nose nuzzling against her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He is going to-</em>
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</p><p> </p><p> <em>I can’t let this happen.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She turns her palms upwards to gently tap his nose, smiling softly to herself when the puppy licks his nose in response. He huffs, standing on his hindlegs only to flop over unsteadily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Mama?” Tzuyu waddles over, asking for a hug with uppy arms and Mina obliges. The wagging increases in ferocity when he spots Tzuyu, this time standing at the very edge of the table just to get closer to the little girl.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mina…” Sana trails off, a plea loud and clear in her voice but she knows the other woman can’t hear her. <em>Mina please </em>She begs in her mind, unable to stand the thought of the little puppy meeting his fate in a small cramped cage.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(A ridiculous thought even to Sana herself but the way the puppy’s all too big ears flops remind her of Tzuyu’s ears that stick out so adorably behind her hair. She rolls her eyes, thinking she must have gone crazy from the loneliness to even make that connection.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What do you think is a good name?” Mina speaks up suddenly, bouncing Tzuyu on her arms. The toddler leans into her embrace and stares thoughtfully at the puppy. “What do you think matches him? Cookie? Or maybe Choco?” Mina tries out but Tzuyu shakes her head as she tucks herself into Mina’s neck.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…<em>Boo</em>.” Sana jerks in surprise, eyes widening.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hmm?” Mina shifts the toddler around to look her in the eye and Tzuyu speaks a little louder this time. “Boo. Call him Boo.” She covers her face with one hand, smiling lightly as she peeks through the gaps between her fingers when the puppy sits up facing her, dimples deepening from the small action.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Boo?” Mina’s eyebrows fly up “Like mommy’s favourite cartoon? <em>That </em>Boo?” Tzuyu nods slowly, a little unsure yet she agrees with Mina’s statement.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Giving a soft kiss to Tzuyu’s cheeks, she turns towards the little brown ball of fur sitting on the examining table as she addresses the vet. She really hopes Momo won’t be too mad. “Well Boo, I guess you’re coming home with us.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nearly vibrating with excitement, Tzuyu stops with every step she takes to look inside the small pet carrier that Mina had purchased at the clinic, putting her fingers through the gaps of the metal cover just to pet Boo’s head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was funny how just a bath was enough to cause a complete one-eighty in terms of how the puppy looks. Mina grins as she looks down, seeing a small nose stick out of the carrier to sniff at Tzuyu’s fingers as the toddler squeals at the wet sensation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The toddler swings a small white plastic bag in her grip, jostling the various tubes of gel and medication prescribed for Boo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>How should I tell Momo…</em> She thinks, a little worried about how her girlfriend would react but the bright smile on Tzuyu’s face convinces her that whatever reaction Momo might have is worth it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But still, she hopes her girlfriend would take this in a good way.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Patting a small pocket on her coat, Tzuyu unzips it and pulls out her packet of seeds and waves it at Mina. “Name?” She says, eyes wide as she waits for Mina’s input. “You want to choose a name for the seeds?” Mina asks as the toddler nods, waving the packet once more, this time eagerly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>To be honest, Mina is not good at naming things. It took her fourteen days and a million name book searches for her to settle on ‘Ray’ for her puppy and that was only because her brother mentioned offhandedly that it sounded good.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“How about…Beanie?” She suggests lamely, wincing when she hears herself. Sana laughs, feeling endeared by the younger woman. “Oh Mina,” Sana sighs indulgently “you’re just so cute that sometimes I wanna bite you!” She pokes at Mina’s cheeks, pretending that she was pinching them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“‘Kay.” To her surprise, Tzuyu agrees and looks at the seeds with determination in her eyes. “Beanie.” She says before slipping the packet back into her pocket, making sure to zip it up properly and she gives it one more pat as if she was afraid the packet would vanish suddenly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They barely walked ten steps before Tzuyu stops again but this time she looks up at Mina and points towards a small fishcake stall across the road. “Can I have one?” She asks before quickly adding “Pwease?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The toddler’s attempt of being polite brings an amused smile to Mina’s face and she checks her watch. Seeing that it wasn’t anywhere near dinner time yet, she nods and brings the both of them towards the traffic light.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seeing the hopeful glint shining in the toddler’s eyes and Mina sets the carrier down gently before bringing Tzuyu up so she can press the button and they both wait for the green light.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Making sure to check both ways before stepping out, Tzuyu holds her hand out for Mina before waddling forward, trying not to rush. Once they made it across the street, she pulls her hand free before toddling forward and standing on her tippy toes to gesture <em>One</em> with her finger.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Placing the carrier down again, Mina pulls out her wallet to pay for three sticks of fishcakes, handing over a crisp note over in exchange for two cups. She carefully scoops up some of the soup, blowing on it before bending down to pass it over to the toddler who happily accepts it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Is she yours?” The kindly old man asked, grabbing a few uncooked sticks before dumping it in the pot, stirring and preparing for the evening crowd. He picks up one of the bigger sized fish cake and gives it to the toddler, dipping it in her cup. He makes a satisfied sound when the toddler bites down heartily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sana copies Tzuyu’s movements, opening her mouth exaggeratedly before chomping down with a click. “Yum yum!” Her eyes soften when she sees the way her daughter’s cheeks fill out with each bite, wishing she could gently wipe away the small droplet of soup on her bottom lip.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina hesitates for a beat and Tzuyu looks up at her with round eyes, happily taking little sips of the soup, sticking out her tongue when it was a little too hot for her and the woman smiles briefly, hand coming up on its own accord to rub tenderly on the toddler’s head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…Yes, yes she is.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>I’m home.” </em>Momo calls out tiredly, shuffling her feet out of her boots as she rubs at the back of her neck. Silence greets her and the officer frowns before she takes a deep breath. The sweet scent of Japanese curry fills her nostrils and she spot her daughter’s school shoes placed neatly next to Mina’s heels.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She stands up straight, cracking her back with a sigh as she slips her feet into her household slippers, walking into her living room with a small pout.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Guys?” This time, she hears a muffled giggle before a soft shushing sound accompanies it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A small smile lights up on Momo’s face as slowly sneaks towards her daughter’s room, careful not to make a sound as she places her ear on the door. She hears more laughter, high and sweet before a deeper one accompanies it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Rapping her knuckles twice, she announces her entrance as Momo hears some objects being pushed around inside. “Why didn’t anyone greet me?” The officer whines softly, stepping into Tzuyu’s room when Mina throws herself onto Momo, nearly bowling them over.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh-!” Momo steadies the two of them, an arm wrapping instinctively over her girlfriend’s waist. “Missed me?” She teases, grinning impishly as Mina gives her a soft kiss, pressing down on the collar of her uniform neatly. “<em>Welcome back.” </em>The younger woman greets, not willingly to pull away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"How was your <em>session</em> today?" Mina hints with a pointed look and Momo frowns slightly before fumbling over her words "O-Oh! That. Yeah, it was great!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Really?" Mina's smile seems almost blinding and maybe Momo feels just a teensy bad about lying to her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Yeah! Sunmi said I'm doing great so there's nothing to worry about anymore." Quickly changing the course of their conversation, Momo props her chin atop of Mina’s head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Where is Tzuyu?” The girl in question was suspiciously absent from the room despite Momo hearing her giggles just a second before entering.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“She’s in the bathroom.” Mina fibs, smile stiffening just a tad as she clings on harder.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“…I literally just walked past the bath-” Momo’s nose crinkle up and she tenses in Mina’s arms before she whips her head to the side to let out a loud sneeze. “Whoa, I’m so-” She sneezes again, this time with a familiar itchy sensation creeping over her eyes and she rubs at them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina looks down at her shirt in alarm, spotting the various fine strands of fur littering all over her front and she curses softly, eyes creases at the side with concern as the officer continues her sneezing fit.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Boo!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nails scuttling on the floor along with tiny stomping feet later, Tzuyu appears with something small and brown zipping in front of her before it trips and slides across the toddler’s bedroom floor.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Squinting through teary eyes, Momo could just make out the blurry image of a tiny dog. “What” She points at Boo, “is that?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh this?” Trying to salvage the situation, Mina quickly yanks the small pot sitting on Tzuyu’s desk and shows it to Momo. “This is Tzuyu’s school project, meet Beanie!” She smiles charmingly in sharp contrast to the older woman’s unimpressed look.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sighing, Mina runs one hand through her hair and gently scoops the puppy up. She lifts up one of his paws and waves it gently “Hello, I am Boo! I am your new family member.” Boo licks at Mina’s face before she places him back into Tzuyu’s awaiting arms, the toddler snuggling against the puppy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Being cute isn’t going to get you out of trouble.” Momo’s teasing voice turns nasally and she presses one hand over her chest, feeling her airway being choked up. “Here.” Mina quickly pushes a few pills she prepared beforehand along with a glass of water.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wrangling her hands nervously, Mina starts to defend herself. “Okay wait, before you say until please hear me out.” At Momo’s raised eyebrow, Mina gestures to the toddler-puppy duo “Boo is a stray that we found in an alley. If we didn’t take him in, he would have…and I couldn’t let that happen.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Also, Tzuyu named him Boo! Like your favourite character. He is her namesake and look how cute they are together.” That was true, Boo did look ultra-adorable while cradled so preciously in the toddler’s arms and the bright dimpled smile seemed permanently etched on her daughter’s face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You named him for me?” Momo kneels slowly, feeling much better and Tzuyu rushes forward, giving a small peck on her mommy’s cheek as hello and Boo squirms about, trying to join in as well. The toddler hums and Momo softens, stealing a glance at the tiny puppy who is staring back at her with round eyes that shine with trust.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina walks up behind her and engulfs her in a hug, murmuring into Momo’s back. “Come on, a childhood won’t be the same without a companion. We both had dogs growing up so why not Tzuyu too?” She presses a lingering kiss on Momo’s shoulder and even through the thick cloth separating them, the older woman can feel the warmth and adoration behind the gesture.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>(“Moguri, which pet should we get our baby once she’s here?” Momo looks up from her magazine “Something low maintenance, like a cat?” She suggests. Sana clicks her tongue in thought “Hmm, I do love cats, but babies are pretty active when they’re young. So maybe a dog? They can go on walks and maybe wear matching clothes!” Squealing at the mental image, Sana rubs at her tummy “What do you think baby? Would you like a puppy as a friend?” The gentle look on her face transforms to one of utmost bliss when she gets an answering kick. “Hear that Momo? The baby wants a puppy!”)</strike>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sighing softly, Momo hugs Tzuyu close, careful not to squish the puppy. “Okay.” She concedes, “Okay. But!” She holds up a finger at Tzuyu before gently booping her nose. “You have to take care of him alright? You’re still little so I will help you, but you’ll have to do your best with things like feeding and walking him. Deal?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Thrilled with Momo’s permission and ignoring her conditions, Tzuyu barrels hard into her mommy before turning towards Mina and hugging her legs as well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Let's have a look at this little guy." Pulling up the cuffs of her pants, Momo sits down cross-legged and claps her hands twice, encouraging the puppy to wobble up her leg.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Watching from the foot of Tzuyu’s bed, with a small smile lingering on her face as Tzuyu plops the puppy down on the floor, something tugs hard at Sana’s heartstrings when her daughter giggles to herself as Boo follows after her when she runs in circles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The puppy pants from exertion, tongue lolling out and he stares at Sana who waves a hand at him, ignoring the cheerful plea from the officer for the puppy to come towards her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Take care of my family</em>.” Sana says, wishing that she could rub behind those soft looking ears. “<em>I’ll leave them to you now.”</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey guys, thanks for reading! My com died just as I was about to update but lucky my dad bought a monitor TT I was so worried I was going to lose everything :')</p><p>Feel free to drop by @Bananamilk4life if you have anything to ask in my CC or use the # to drop suggestions 😆</p><p>See you next time!</p><p>#TwiceMeetAgain</p><p>Boo is the main hero of this story btw</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
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  <span>Dried leaves crunches underneath a heavy heel as the soft squealing of wheels in need of a change of oil follows it in an unsteady rhythm. “She’s back!” Sana exclaims, pointing at the hobbling silhouette of an elderly woman pushing a rickety cart. She reaches out, arm flailing about and grabbing air before frowning, turning her head before spotting a hunched figure crouching behind the mailbox, looking out furtively.</span>
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  <span>“Why are you hiding?” Yeonjung yelps, falling on her butt when Sana creeps up behind her before huffing indignantly “Am not!” The tips of ears turn pink from embarrassment as she seems to deflate before Sana’s very eyes, her lips set in a line as the cart passes through her legs. Yeonjung shudders violent as the woman walks right through her, feeling hollow and weightless for a moment.</span>
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  <span>She twiddles her thumbs nervously as she ducks her head and hides her face behind a curtain of hair, body turned away as the elderly woman parks her cart before weathered fingers slide in a bunch of rusted keys into her lock. The familiar screech of the gate causes Yeonjung to shut her eyes, slumping down as she places her chin upon her knees. Sliding her arm through Yeonjung's, Sana offers her support in the form of silent glances and wordless nudges.</span>
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  <span>The old woman leans against her door for a beat, reaching down to message at her ankles as her features twisted up in a grimace. Taking off her boots, she gently sets them on the rack, fingers ghosting against a pair of scuffed up sneakers for a beat before she shuffles inside, hands thumping against her back in an effort to ease the ache.</span>
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  <span>(Sana notices how she walks with a slight limp, back hunched over in what seems like a permanent way.)</span>
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  <span>Gently patting Yeonjung's cheeks and smacking her out of her stupor, Sana nods her head towards the retreating image of the old woman “What are you waiting for? Come on!” Grunting, she heaves the full weight of the Korean up and drags her towards the rundown apartment. “Please excuse us!” Calling out politely before stepping through the door. Sana proceeds to take off her own shoes and arranges them neatly on the ground before she wanders into the living room.</span>
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  <span>Right after entering the apartment, Sana was hit with a sudden chill as Yeonjung pushed herself out of the younger woman’s grip. She bites her lips when she takes in the bareness of the living room, shoulders drooping when her mother tugs her jacket tighter around her frail body in an attempt to warm her up.</span>
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  <span>“Hey Eomma,” Yeonjung starts off weakly when her mother coughs lightly, leaning against the wall as she gently massages her kneecaps. “I’m home.” Sana grins next to her friend, waving politely out of habit. “Hi Mrs Yoo! I’m Sana, Yeonjung’s friend. It's so nice to meet you.” She bows as a greeting when Yeonjung's mother props her feet up on the shaky table, showing off her swollen ankles that look painful to the touch. A tiny band-aid peels off the back of her heel, exposing reddened skin that likely resulted from waling around too much in poorly fitted shoes.</span>
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  <span>Yeonjung walks up next to her mother, eyes taking in her features carefully and she swallows hard when she notices the field of white peppering her mother’s short bob. A lock of hair falls in front of the old woman’s face and Yeonjung’s hand itches with the temptation of tucking it behind her ear and so she clenches her fist, the burn of her nails feels appropriate as her punishment. Her elbow brushes up against her mother slightly and she feels herself tearing up unprompted when she just phases through.</span>
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  <span>(Looking down, Yeonjung realizes that her mother looks smaller than she remembers. Looks...much more <em>fragile</em> as if a gust of wind would take her far away from Yeonjung.)</span>
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  <span>Breath catching in her throat, she dabs her eyes as her mother walks away slowly, standing right in front of a shelf with her arms folded behind her back, staring pensively. Sana watches as Yeonjung’s mother pulls out two slightly squashed steamed buns out of her pocket and pours them out of the plastic wrapping, placing them on a red dish before picking up a rather faded looking portrait reverently. She then slowly makes her way towards the raggedy couch which creaks loudly under her weight, all the while never tearing her eyes off her daughter's face.</span>
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  <span>Sana stays right by the entrance, hands tucked neatly by her side as she watches the way Yeonjung fusses over her mother, a different kind of tenderness lighting up her eyes.</span>
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  <span>(A pair of well maintained maroon coloured heels was placed neatly on the top of the shoe rack, standing out among the other dirtied boots Yeonjung’s mother wears. Sana also notices an additional pair of indoor slippers with the initials </span>
  <em>
    <span>YJ </span>
  </em>
  <span>embroidered being laid out welcomingly near the entrance as if awaiting the return of someone.)</span>
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  <span>“How’s your legs today Eomma? Still bothering you?” Yeonjung clicks her tongue distastefully “I told you not to lift so many things at once! You’re not young anymore you know?” Her mother stares blankly at the portrait held in her hands, using the edge of her beaten down jacket to wipe at its corners.</span>
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  <span>(Compared with the other objects in the apartment, Sana reckons that the picture frame was probably the only thing that is perfectly intact and clean. In a house that was in shambles, only things that were once Yeonjung's seem to be cared for. Sana wonders how her old bedroom back at her parents' look like now. She wonders if her mother still washes her sheets with that blue bottle of detergent that she had always insisted on. She wonders what happened to her collection of little treasures like the tiny seashell Momo had given her when they were kids. She wonders if her parents look at it together with the Hirais, she wonders if they go through the photo albums filled with pictures of Hana, Momo and her throughout the years. She wonders if her grandmother still makes those flower shaped mochi that she always gives to Sana whenever she visits. She wonders why has she not gone back to visit.)</span>
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  <span>Wincing from the circular motions, her mother twists her hands back and forth rhythmically, tugging her sleeves up slightly to expose more skin and Yeonjung bites down on her lips harshly to quell the curse word trying to slip out when she realizes her mother’s wrists were heavily bound by medical tapes, some of which look days old.</span>
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  <span>(Sana wonders if her family is doing okay.)</span>
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<p>Twisting off the cap, Mrs Yoo rolls the tube of ointment all over her legs and she sighs tiredly.</p>
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  <span>(Yeonjung remembers watching her mother straining to lift up a small bag filled with recyclables, hoping to make enough to at least have a filling dinner. She remembers how no one had offered to help, walking past her mother like she was invisible and how her heart hurt when a man dumped an empty can on the street, refusing to hand it over to her as if she was something contagious. She also remembers how her mother had spent all she had on a bowl of plain udon only not to eat it, lighting up a small candle next to a picture of Yeonjung.)</span>
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  <span>Not saying a word, Mrs Yoo just stares at the youthful face of her deceased daughter who bore a peaceful smile spread across her face looking like she doesn’t have a care in the world. Yeonjung sniffs hard and forces herself to look away when she sees a small teardrop make its way down her mother’s wrinkled cheek.</span>
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  <span>(Her mother had apologized for only being able to afford a bowl of plain udon, asking for understanding from her daughter that she didn’t get to earn enough today to purchase that fish roll that Yeonjung loves so much. She pushes the bowl towards the picture, smiling encouragingly as she urges Yeonung to eat up while it’s hot while ignoring the way her own stomach yowls. A distraught Yeonjung shakily picks up a pair of chopsticks, slurping up the noodles as her mother looks off at the picture, watching as the wax drips down on the table.) </span>
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  <span>Placing the picture frame down, the old woman pushes the red dish towards it before gesturing “Eat up, I got your favourite today.” Her stomach growls pleadingly but she pays it no mind, looking expectantly at her daughter’s picture. Yeonjung slowly sits down next to her mother, hand hovering over a weathered one.</span>
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  <span><em>What she would give to hold her hand just once more.</em> </span>
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  <span>“Don’t worry about me, have it yourself. You look like you have lost weight.” Her words lack any real bite due to the way her voice wobbles dangerously. She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand when her mother shivers, curling up into a ball to preserve heat and Yeonjung yanks her hand back with a quickness that surprises herself.</span>
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  <span>(An image of her own mother biting down on her pillowcase to muffle her sobs surface in Sana’s mind accompanied by the gut-wrenching wail her grandma had let out during the small ceremony held back in Japan.)</span>
</p>
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  <span>“I’m sorry Yeonjung,” The old woman croaks out, lips thinning “I should have noticed that you were having a tough time. Maybe then you wouldn’t have-” She breaks off, grief lining her face as she wipes at her nose using the ends of her sleeves.</span>
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  <span>Pulling out a small pack of candles from her pockets, Mrs Yoo flicks her lighter as she burns the bottom part of the candle before sticking it onto the table, uncaring of the marks that would be left behind. She lights it up, a soft glow warming her face slightly and she closes her eyes, pretending it was her daughter right next to her as Mrs Yoo clasps her hands together, mouthing a silent prayer.</span>
</p>
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  <span>(The funeral held for Sana was probably the shortest ever held but even then, she never wants to sit through something like that ever again. She will never be able to forget the sounds her father made as he struggles to get through his eulogy. He starts out wetly, glasses askew on his nose from furiously swiping his tears away before his deep husky voice is broken by the sound of his sobs as he begs for his little girl to come back to him.)</span>
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  <span>The pain that had previously filled Mrs Yoo’s face fades away the more she stares at the candle, probably lost in her own world as she reminisces thoughtfully.</span>
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  <span>(Her father, the kindest, happiest and strongest man Sana has ever known and loved was brought down to his knees.)</span>
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  <span>The air feels thick and suffocating as Sana sinks down under the weight of the sorrow emitted by both Yeonjung and her mother, sending a prickling desire through her to check up on both her family afterwards, to make sure that they’re still there.</span>
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  <em>
    <span>Momo. Momo. Momo.</span>
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  <span>“Yeonjung, my baby.” Mrs Yoo murmurs as her fingers trace over her daughter’s features, afraid that she would start to forget anything about Yeonjung. “Did you find Appa? I hope you did, he came to my dreams last night and said he was going to treat you to ice cream. That strawberry flavoured one with the little marshmallows, your favourite.” She wets her lips, struggling to stay composed as she places the portrait on her chest, right above her heart and whispers.</span>
</p>
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  <span>“Maybe, if you’re not too busy, come visit Eomma too okay? I’ll be waiting, I have so much to tell you.”</span>
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  <span>Reaching out for the buns, Yeonjung brings one shakily towards her mouth as she bites down. </span>
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  <span>It tastes salty. </span>
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  <span>Cautiously placing a hand on Yeonjung’s shoulders, Sana slowly draws her into a hug, resting her chin on top of her friend’s head as she rocks the both of them side to side. She closes her eyes, heart clenching at the soft whimpers Yeonjung lets out as she curls into herself and Sana feels her eyes prickling in response.</span>
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  <span>“It’s okay Yeonjung, let it all out.” The Korean clutches at Sana’s cardigan in an attempt to steady herself, trying desperately to contain her shuddering breaths. She buries her head into Sana’s torso, wailing as the younger woman tries to comfort her while battling the oncoming waves of tears threatening to overwhelm her as she shushes her friend, cooing softly like how she does whenever Tzuyu was upset.</span>
</p>
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  <span>Yeonjung’s grief was silent, unnoticeable aside from the tiniest flicker of candlelight.</span>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It has been forever since I uploaded and I'm so sorry for that T^T I was stuck between thinking about the plot and Genshin Impact &gt;&lt;''</p>
<p>Also, sorry that this update is so short and doesn't have Misamotzu but I wanted to include a chapter that focuses a bit on just the ghosts themselves and show how insignificant(?) and well...helpless they really are as they wander about. Y'know, they're just stuck watching their families while being unable to move on which is just tragic all around :/</p>
<p>Next one will included Tzu! And to that one comment that said this story would be better with Boo as a cat, you're right XD I never even thought about that but imagine Boo as a ginger or a tabby cat! Cute as heck.</p>
<p>And if you guys have any complains, suggestions or anything feel free to look for me on Twitter! I'm open to anything and my CC is right there in case you want to stay anon :D</p>
<p>See you guys next time!</p>
<p>#TwiceMeetAgain</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
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  <span>Stretching her legs out in front of her, Mina rolls her ankles before pushing herself down and reaching forward. Her face contorts slightly from the painful stretch but she holds her position, mentally counting to ten before she slowly withdraws with a long exhale.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She repeats this motion again, this time angling her legs into a split as she bends sideways and holds onto her feet, feeling a tugging sensation across her back and her thighs. Closing her eyes, Mina concentrates on the ticking of the metronome on her phone as she counts under her breath.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bringing her hands up towards the ceiling and twisting them together, feeling the muscles in her shoulder tensing and relaxing with each motion. A light sheen of sweat lines her forehead as she breathes a little harder, finger tapping against the pause button of her metronome while the accompanying music video plays on, a soothing melody echoing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Pulling back, Mina grunts softly and presses a hand underneath her tank top, feeling soreness starting to spread through her from just a bit of stretching. </span>
  <span>While cruising the web for some dinner recipes, she had chanced upon a ballet clip of one of her favourite plays which in turn triggered a familiar itch to run through her body as watches intently with each motion the ballerina executes, feeling as though she was on stage as well.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stabilizing herself using the couch, Mina stands in position before gently lifting her right leg behind her and holding out her left arm in an arabesque. As she feels herself wobbling, Mina instinctively tightens her core, flexing hard to maintain balance, smiling triumphantly when she manages to hold the position for eight counts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Unsteadily, she pulls her left leg up as high as she can as she straightens her feet before doing a slow spin while lowering her body slowly inch by inch, biting her lips when the strain starts becoming too much for her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unable to hold it any longer, she drops down to the floor on her knees as she curses lightly to herself, rubbing her thighs as she feels the burn settling in. Mina brings her knees up towards her chest, laying her head down as she pants tiredly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>In. Out.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The adrenaline rushing through her dulls with each beat of her heart as she takes in the silence that surrounds her, feeling the stickiness behind her neck that chills in response to the cold air bursting from the air conditioner stationed above her. It feels just like old times back when she would work well into the night in her studio, practicing and practicing like her life had depended on it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>In. Out.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The music playing in the video stops and an astounding applause breaks through the prior silence as the dancers gather for a final bow. Mina smiles wryly to herself, soaking in the sound of a standing ovation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(That had been her, once upon a time. Back then she had felt as though she had everything yet nothing at the same time. A not so distant past yet one Mina wishes not to revisit.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A sudden wetness breaks Mina out of her somber thoughts, looking down to see a mop of brown busy nosing around her thighs. “Boo?” Tzuyu peeks out from behind the pillar, rubbing at her eyes sleeping as she hugs Minjoong close to her chest. She takes slow steps towards Mina as if she was in a daze, hair sticking out in every direction possible.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Settling herself into the space between the older woman’s legs, Tzuyu leans back as Mina busies herself with combing her fingers through the toddler’s mussed hair. The soothing motion almost lulls Tzuyu back to sleep but the wail of a violin startles her awake, dragging her attention back to the TV where a new video was playing. She places one of Minjoong’s floppy ears into her mouth instinctively, nibbling and sucking on the edge as she watches two new dancers enter the stage, held in an embrace as they start off the first few steps of their routine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s ballet.” Mina picks up the remote and uses the cursor to circle around a smiling celebrity who fumbles through his dance steps, feet bent at awkward angles while his mentor giggles behind her hand. “I used to do this when I was young like you.” This piqued Tzuyu’s interest as she alternates between looking in awe as the instructor executes a few complicated spins and staring at Mina with an unasked question in her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want me to show you some dance moves?” Tzuyu whips her head back to face Mina, shaking her little head vigorously as she slides off the older woman's lap, sitting next to Boo in anticipation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe for old times’ sake </span>
  </em>
  <span>Mina thinks as she flicks through YouTube, selecting a clip of an easier routine. Even though she wishes to show off, realistically she knows her body would not be able to keep up with the more complicated acts. She finally settles on a familiar clip, one depicting the very first song she had ever danced to back when she was a child.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(It was a little ironic, that the song she would dance to after so many years would be the one that had been the kindle to her love-hate relationship with the art. Her motives were even the same this time round, dancing to impress as always. She only hopes she doesn’t disappoint.)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With the gentle plucking of the harp resonating throughout the apartment, Mina feels her body moving on its own accord and feeling the music wash over her. The dancer on screen mirrors the Japanese’s hand movements as they both danced through the piece albeit a little more clumsily for Mina’s case due to the lack of practice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>Her mother sighs, pulling off her glasses before pinching the bridge of her nose, not even willing to spare one glance at Mina who lays sprawled across the floor as she grabs at her ankles in pain.)</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Frustratingly, Mina stumbles right off the bat. Her body unused to the sudden twirl due to years of inactivity and she was unable to transition through the moves seamlessly. Mina grits her teeth when her legs just wouldn’t work the way she wanted them to, making her look unbalanced and ungraceful. While it was a given that she wouldn’t be able to pull off the moves as well as she did all those years before, Mina still wanted to put up a good show for Tzuyu. And with the way her cheeks burned, she wasn't quite sure whether it was from exhaustion or shame.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Leaping up into the air, Mina taps both her feet together and lands uncoordinatedly, body swaying and missing two beats before she manages to right herself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It was almost time for the performance and Mina sits by herself, wrapping bandages around her ankles while keeping her eyes trained on the two front row seats on the left. She peeks out through the curtains stealthily whenever she catches a small ray of light that bursts through as the auditorium door opens yet again open to sigh when she doesn’t spot any familiar faces.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Her family was late and they are </span>
  </em>
  <span>never </span>
  <em>
    <span>late. Mina wonders if her parents were being held up at the office though she had repeatedly reminded them of today, even scribbling it in big letters on their shared calendar.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>This was her very first big production and even though Mina didn’t manage to land the lead position, she was still rather proud of being a supporting dancer especially for someone as young as her.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She had even requested for her pointe shoes to be designed in soft lavender, her mother’s favourite colour, hoping it would allow her parents to spot her easily while on stage. She even opted to skip dinner, not wanting to mess up her makeup or stain her teeth. Call Mina paranoid if you wish but all she wants is for everything to be perfect tonight.)</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her arms flail uselessly through the air as Mina’s legs pump hard in an effort to keep up to the music. The steady beat seemingly increases in pace as it mocks Mina’s inability to perform, taunting her to her face. The once familiar burning in her thighs only serves to cause distress right at this very moment as Mina’s mind starts to race, busy criticizing every single movement she makes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With her beat already off, Mina grinds her teeth together harshly as she tries to improvise. The strain that tingles just under her ribs throb harder in protest but she puts on a smile as she tilts her balance onto her other foot, pushing on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>(Throughout the performance her eyes had not strayed from those two seats which remained empty for the night saved for a small complimentary red rose laid across the velvet chair that had already begun to wilt.)</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the very last airy note from a flute, Mina braces herself as she lowers down as much as she can to the ground, chest heaving from exertion and the recorded applause causes her to break out in the tiniest of smiles, clearly remembering the days where she performed on stage. If she squeezes her eyes tight enough, she can almost envision the brief approval flashing through her mother’s face and how she had rode off that high for months on end.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>34 </span>
  </em>
  <span>Mina mentally tabulates, grading herself. Before she could beat herself up about it, a loud clap cut through the music and Mina opened her eyes to see Tzuyu staring at her with wonder sparkling in her eyes, hands clapping vigorously as the toddler rolled onto her stomach in an effort to see more of Mina’s moves. Boo, to his credit, plops himself down quietly next to Tzuyu as he wags his tail in time to the applause, sensing his owner’s excitement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The appreciation from her little audience startles Mina for a second, disorientating her as her mouth parts in surprise. That had been a bad performance, by far the worst performance Mina had ever given and that was including even the first few recitals she did as a newbie and <em>yet </em>here Tzuyu was, clapping as loud as she could until her little hands were slightly red as if the older woman was the best thing to ever happen to her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(It's been awhile since anyone has looked at her that way, like she was impressive. Like she was </span>
  <em>
    <span>worth </span>
  </em>
  <span>seeing.)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mina bows out of instinct, feeling a drop of sweat trickle down from her temple and onto her cheek as she subtly wipes it away with her sleeve, panting hard from exertion only let let out a winded noise when </span>
  <span>Tzuyu stands up almost immediately before flinging herself towards Mina, hands tapping the side of the woman’s arms as she gestures to the older woman's feet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mama, you did w-well.” Softly uttering the new phrase she had picked up from her teacher, Tzuyu gently pats Mina’s cheeks and pushes back a lock of blonde hair that was obscuring the older woman’s eye. She offers a small thumbs up, before doing the same with her right hand, pushing them towards Mina’s face in her enthusiasm. She even pulled up Minjoong and presses his snout gently onto Mina's cheeks, a congratulatory kiss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You did well</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was only <em>three</em> words.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Just one simple comment that was pronounced a little imperfectly by someone who doesn’t even know what ballet is and in all honesty Tzuyu probably thought nothing of it and was just repeating what her teacher had been saying to her class given how quickly the toddler’s attention had drifted off as she stares at a new duo on the screen. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(Mina doesn’t even know if Tzuyu had meant it or she was just parroting that phrase)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And yet it had meant </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything </span>
  </em>
  <span>to Mina at that moment as she pressed her trembling lips onto the toddler’s head silently, the hammering in her heart seemed to be caused by something else entirely. Her daughter looks up at her questioningly when she feels the tremors running through Mina's body but the older woman responds by holding the toddler closer to her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...Thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Opening her front door sluggishly, Momo slumps against the wall as she removes her coar tiredly. She sets down a small bag of pastries on the floor while unlacing her boots, trying to hide a yawn behind her hand before discovering some pencil smudges inked onto her palm much to her annoyance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wiping her hand on her pants lethargically, Momo grabs the tiny paper bag before shuffling her sock clad feet into her indoor slippers, a loud groan bursting through her lips when her back cracks satisfyingly after a long day hunched over her desk.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m home~” </span>
  </em>
  <span>She calls out, shaking the tiny paper bag and making sharp whistling sounds. Momo plasters on a wide smile as she bends her waist, opening up her arms as she waits for the pitter patter of tiny feet as well as the soft squeak of Mina’s slippers only to hear nothing. </span>
  <span>She waits for a little longer, deflating when no one comes out to greet her, not even Boo who used to circle around her legs begging for the officer to pick him up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Pouting, Momo shoulders her bag and stomps her feet loudly in an attempt to announce her visit as she rounds the corner, hearing a soft twinkle of bells as she finally spots the two she had been wanting to see. The whine that had been building up dies abruptly when her girlfriend places one feet in front of the other, hands held up elegantly as she prances across the living room. S</span>
  <span>lipping her bag off her shoulders, Momo leans against the counter top with arms folded against her chest, a wistful smile takes up half of Momo’s face as she looks out to the scene playing out in front of her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Setting up the metronome on the slowest beat, Mina attempts a small twirl, feet decked out in her old pointe shoes that she had dug out from her closet before ending with a flourish, hand stuck out to gesture to Tzuyu. With that signal, the toddler tries to mimic her and stands out her tippy toes, bottom lip jutted out cutely in concentration before wobbling to the side, falling into Mina’s awaiting arms.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Even though she didn’t manage to pull off the move, Mina still gushes over the toddler’s attempt all the same, praising Tzuyu over and over while tickling her gently which prompts loud giggles to erupt out from Tzuyu. Feeling slightly left out, Boo yips noisily before circling around Mina, wiggling onto Tzuyu and curling up on her tummy. </span>
  <span>Splitting her attention between rubbing behind Boo’s ears affectionately and whispering words of encouragement into Tzuyu’s ears, Mina places the softest of kisses all over the toddler’s head, enjoying the closeness.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The three of them had yet to acknowledge Momo lingering around just a few feet away, clearly trapped in their own world but the officer doesn’t mind, the weariness set deep in her bones fading away bit by bit the more she looks at her family.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(Biting back a smile, Momo stands up taller. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just a little longer </span>
  </em>
  <span>She thinks, seeing the way Mina chases after Tzuyu’s soft cheeks with her lips, connecting them with a loud ‘Mwah!’ over and over again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Let me look at them just a little longer.</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Because from where she was, Momo could see exactly how Tzuyu smiles. Bright and dimply as she curls up into herself in an attempt to fend off Mina’s tickle attacks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>Tzuyu has been so happy recently </span>
  </em>
  <span>Momo thinks, her eyes softening as her daughter squeals loudly.)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Because from where she was, even though Momo had been unable to see just what expression Mina was wearing, she could hear the way her girlfriend laughs, loud and unrestrained as she holds onto Tzuyu just as tightly with her nose buried in the child’s head as she rocks them side to side. Her blonde hair swirls to the side, exposing a silver of skin on her neck and Momo wants to kiss her. Whether out of desire or appreciation, it doesn't matter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(Momo wishes she could go up to her and envelop the two of them in her arms, where they would be safest.)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Unconsciously, she places a hand across her chest, feeling her heart thump noisily. The rot that had been festering underneath her flesh stills for just a moment, and the hole within her heart doesn’t ache. It doesn’t scratch, it doesn’t scream. Even if it was just for a short moment, Momo is finally able to breathe without feeling as though she was falling apart.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And just for a moment, Momo doesn’t hurt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(It felt like the weight on her shoulders were lifted for a second, giving her the slightest bit of reprieve.)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And just for a moment, Momo allows herself to smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(Sana reaches out her hand and hovers it just below Momo’s jaw, close enough to feel the warmth of her wife but far enough for the distance to sting. Teeth gnawing gently on her bottom lip, she pulls back her hand before folding them across her chest and taking a step back from the officer. Gazing down at her fingers, Sana spreads them slightly before clenching them into a fist. She had half expected to find herself bleeding at the fingertips. “Be happy.” She mutters under her breath, dusting her hands over the small ball of lint sitting on the officer’s collar and she smiles sadly when it just passes through. Momo lets out a soft chuckle right at that moment, her eyes crinkling up in a look that Sana had not seen in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>long </span>
  </em>
  <span>time and only now did she realize how badly she had missed it. For the briefest moment it felt as though she had finally gotten </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>Momo back and the relief that came crashing into her had almost felt dizzying. “Please, be happy.”)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry it took so long &gt;&lt; I feel like my weekly updates are now once a month updates T^T But I'm still trying to fix the pacing and storyline so it won't get confusing plus adding elements to build up the plot. Please read carefully because I've begun to hide some hints for future chapter :D</p>
<p>Also, thank you so much for all the kudos and comments, you guys have no idea how much it means to me &gt;&lt; I enjoy reading any feedback and it really makes my day so don't worry about it, feel free to write anything down! You can even find me on twitter or CC XD Any questions you have, please ask freely! I'm open to anything :)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next thing I'll be uploading would be a fluff for SaMo. Yep, a FLUFF!!!! And no, there will be no angst :D I hope you guys would like that too! It'll be uploaded soon, maybe this week or the next since I'm still fleshing things out!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>@Thu, regarding the question about the snack pile:<br/>Half of it was tossed by the janitor because it took up too much space and it was a hassle to wipe down Momo's desk each day so Nayeon got scolded for that and the other half was nicked by the other team members (Mostly Jackson) since it took quite a while for Momo to come back and he didn't want it to go to waste XD</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>A soft rubber ball ricocheted off the wall, bouncing harshly until it slows to a stop as Momo groans throatily, pressing the heels of her palm into her eyes. A long hum from the static screen of her laptop fills the silence as the officer squints at the recording, desperately hoping to find a new lead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite scouring through every CCTV tape and witness accounts available, none were able to give Momo the slightest clue as to who the culprit was aside from knowing it was a man with tattoos.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What am I missing?” She clicks the fast forward button, lips tightening as a familiar scene plays out. A lone shadow was cast against the wall, the only thing the CCTV was able to capture as the man moved as though he was dragging something before slowly fading away. She repeats the footage, placing her face an inch away from the screen as if she could catch something out of the ordinary only to sigh when all she could see were the bricks that were slowly chipping off the block.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Quickly, Momo clicks on the next recording as her eyelids slowly start to drift close and her head throbs from frustration. None of the surveillance cameras were placed near the scene of the screen as the police hadn’t had the foresight to install some in dingy alleyways, thinking it would just be a waste of money to record drunken fights and lover spats.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Back when she was still fresh on the squad, Momo had initially appealed to install more streetlamps and perhaps a surveillance camera or two at each end of every tunnel and alley, hoping it might be enough to deter those from committing crimes but she had been promptly shut down and dismissed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(If only she had fought harder for her suggestion to be approved. Maybe then, Sana wouldn’t have-)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The screen flickers to light as the blurred faces of the evening crowd zoom past it and Momo boredly taps on her mouse, fast-forwarding it to the timestamp she needed. Having done this so many times, she had all of the relevant information all memorized at the back of her head. Her eyes glazed over, not really taking anything in and she pushes herself to the back of the chair, leg bouncing restlessly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"This isn't going anywhere."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Swiveling around on her chair, Momo hunches and rests her elbows on her knees, rubbing her face tiredly and for a startles for a brief moment when she doesn’t feel a cool metal resting against her cheeks. She stares at the empty spot on her ring finger, turning her hand around as she follows the tan line. Just three months ago, the sight of the ring’s absence would have broken her. But now all Momo feels is the unsettling sense of emptiness as she forms a fist, tightening her grip until she feels her nails breaking skin. The sting of pain felt refreshing, rejuvenating Momo and helping her to focus.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What am I missing.” She repeats but this time as an accusation, lips tugged back in a grimace as she taps her fist against the arm of her chair. Each dull knock echoing in her otherwise silent room, the only source of light being emitting from her laptop which casts a rather unsightly shadow upon Momo’s form, highlighting the dark circles under her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Noticing the timestamp, she immediately closed her eyes just as four consecutive shots ring out mutedly (though the hard throb her heart produces provides a different story), Momo mentally pictures the panic looks on the civilians as they scream and push to get away, not even stopping to help Sana. Realistically as an officer, she understands that being in stressful situations might trigger one’s fight or flight instincts and running away is a perfectly good option, advised even. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>However the part of her that was Sana’s wife, as the one who had lost all that she had held dear, still grabs onto irrational tendrils of despair and hate. Thinking: </span>
  <em>
    <span>What if someone had helped? Would Sana have a better chance at surviving?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(Sana’s wounds were lethal, each fired point blank and it was nothing short of a miracle that Tzuyu had been unharmed. But it doesn’t stop Momo from wondering and grieving all the same. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What if</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She's never going to find an answer nor is she ever going to stop hurting.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Breathing out slowly, she unfurls her fingers as her knuckles pop from the sudden exertion. The recordings weren’t turning up anything new so Momo directs her focus onto a pile of slightly crumpled files, randomly picking one out and flipping it open.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The once pristine white appearance of the reports were now scrawled angrily all over with a red pen, handwriting near illegible as previously Momo had nitpicked at everything she managed to dig up. One page had been held up by a few carefully placed tape, courtesy of Momo writing too hard to the point where she tore the sheet. Under those red scratches were a more gentle flow of blue ink, written by Nayeon when Momo had been suspended and pulled out of the case.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Momo’s lips curl up gratefully at the ends, reading Nayeon’s neat writing under each question and assumption she had inked down. The older woman had been </span>
  <em>
    <span>thorough</span>
  </em>
  <span> and Momo couldn’t thank her enough.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(She knows she’s not the only one who lost something that day and seeing as how Nayeon had been the only one who backed her up when she had insisted on a third round of interrogation for everyone who had been present at the scene, Momo also realizes that maybe she’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>as </span>
  </em>
  <span>alone as she thought she might have been while grieving.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thumbing through the file, Momo stops to smooth out one page that had been crushed when a small photo flutters out from it, fallen loose from its place held by a paper clip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Momo picks it up slowly, unflinching when a naked woman with a large burn mark on her stomach shows up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>やまぐち</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes narrow as she takes in the shape of the mark, kanji written like it had been carved deep into the flesh of its victims as a large serpent circles around it, forming a brand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She knows who’s behind this, the whole police force does but no one would dare to bring anyone from that gang in for questioning without risking their position on the squad. Back when she was still a trainee, Momo had been pumped and ready to drag those perpetrators in but she had been stopped by her then supervisor who had a grave look on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Rookie." He carefully took off his cap and tossed it in front of Momo before dragging a chair over. "Just a friendly word of advise, whatever you're digging into right now? That's dangerous territory." He pulls out a cigarette pack and offers one to Momo before shrugging when the young woman declines, chewing down on one stick before lighting it up with a practiced flip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He takes a long puff, blowing out the smoke in a stream as Momo subtly ducks her head, coughing into her sleeves. "I know you want to throw every bad guy you ever find out there into the slammer but it ain't as easy as that." He sucks his teeth nosily. "I was once in your position back in the day, until I messed somewhere I shouldn't." Casually, he placed his left hand onto the table and Momo gasps when she noticed two missing fingers, crudely chopped off at the knuckles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"This," He wiggles the stumps. "was a warning. One that I carry 'round everyday. If I had known what was going to happen, I would have just left the case alone."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So you're saying we should just let them go? Even though we have all these evidence? And let them hurt more people?" The disbelief in her voice was loud and clear but the old man didn't turn around to look at her while still taking another puff. "I can't listen to this." Mumbling heatedly under her breath, Momo sweeps all her files into her bag, not bothering to be quiet as she slams her chair back into place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm not saying that." Snuffing out his cigarette, he levels a tired and weary gaze on the young officer as if weighed down by his years and all that he has experienced. "I was a top ranking cadet back then you know? Favoured by the chief even. But when this happened," He forms a fist. "No one helped me even though I was doing the right thing, bringing justice and making the world a better place. Being a hero." Momo stiffly regards him, hands clenched at her side. 'My supervisor warned me to just walk away, that the price would be too high for me to pay." He laughs dryly. "I didn't know he told the Yakuza my whereabouts then, all because he wanted to curry some favour with the boss."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I found out that while I was in the hospital recovering from my injuries, my squad had erased all the leads I had, even letting the person who assaulted me go. Why?" He placed two fingers and his thumb together, making a shuffling action. "Just for some hush money, they were willing to turn a blind eye." He then stands up and pushes in his chair using his leg, hobbling past Momo and clasping her hard on her shoulder. "Corruption, rookie. It festers deep within and turns people against their own moral code."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Of course you may not want to listen to an old man but that was just something I've experienced in all the teams I've been a part of. Money talks and sometimes the allure of it and self-interest involved is too much. You may want to make things right but it doesn't always work out that way. Not unless you're ready to give up your badge for it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clenching her jaw, Momo stalks away from him, not before slamming the door shut as she tightens her hold on her bag and marching straight to her boss.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(He turned out to be right. Momo's leads were all dismissed and pushed to the back burner as she was handed minor cases, probably to keep her distracted until the culprits she caught could be bailed out and the case was closed, wrongfully but no one but her seemed to care aside from Nayeon who wore a stern frown the until day.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Justice is not always swift nor does it always deliver. <em>That</em> was the hardest lesson Momo had ever learnt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Yakuza’s connections run deep, to the point where they even had their hands on the Seoul metropolitan police agency. Her commissioner was one such man. He had visited Momo while she laid on the hospital bed, reeling from her newest stab wound and battling the sudden lost of her wife and proceeded to order her to drop the case, even going as far as to threaten to take away her badge.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is an order, Hirai. If you insist on pursuing this matter I will have you kicked off the squad and blacklisted permanently! Do you understand?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Momo had just blinked sluggishly as she processed his words, hand coming up to grab onto the railing as she struggled to sit upright by herself, waving away the concerned touch of Mina and her assisting nurse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said,” He leans in close, the foul stench of tobacco wafting off him nearly causes the injured officer to gag but Momo levels an unsteady glare at him, one eye swollen firmly shut as she stares challengingly. “Do you understand?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I continue to investigate, you will take my badge.” Momo repeats, gaze sharpening as her fingers dig into her wound, the pain allowing her to concentrate as it frees her from the haze of anesthesia. She's faintly aware of the stickiness coating her fingers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The commissioner nods at her response, a semi-hidden glimpse of relief sparking in the dark depths of his eyes as he slowly withdraws.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(Momo had once thought that being an officer was everything. But now that she had lost Sana, she realized that it meant </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Just a dull badge mocking her everyday when she looks into the mirror, eyes empty. She had failed when it had matter <em>most</em>.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then take it.” She gropes blindly at the table next to her, flinging the first thing she touched at her superior which turned out to be a glass of water which shatter upon impact on the wall, stray droplets splattering on his stretched-out uniform.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(The shiny gleam of his receding hairline almost tempted Momo to instinctively reach for her holster even though she was in a hospital gown, wondering if she would find any sort of reprieve once she’s staring at his blown out brains.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Take it!” She throws the next item she grabbed, an apple then an empty ashtray before reaching her badge and she flings it as hard as she can, screaming and cursing like a crazed woman while being restrained by the nurses. The badge bounces harmlessly off his belly, rolling under her bed where it lies forgotten until the janitor would pick it up later on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(Momo already feels as though she’s dead anyways, what’s the life imprisonment or death penalty even going to do.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Traitor!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taking out an embroidered handkerchief, the commissioner coolly wipes away the spit on his lower jaw before folding it and sliding it back into his breast pocket, never once showing any emotion aside from disinterest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The look on his face had pissed Momo off even further. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sana deserves more than this. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Momo rages internally, gearing up for one more punch. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How dare he look so aloof. The bastard is still out there, getting away scot-free and Sana is alone and cold-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(That thought almost breaks her as Momo wheezes, covering her face as she screams out for Sana, thrashing around.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Momo had to be sedated before she would stop struggling, the unhappy murmurs of Mina as she clicks her tongue at the officer’s reopened wound being the last thing she hears before blacking out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>True to his words, the commissioner </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>attempt to fire her if not for the violent pushback met by her fellow squad mates who protested heavily until it came down to just a suspension which was thinly veiled as a very much needed ‘healing time’ for the grieving woman but not without pulling her out of the case due to her unprofessional methods of investigating and increasing aggression when it came to interrogations.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nayeon had visited her multiple times, speaking softly to Momo who ignored her while wrapped in a cocoon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(With her she brought updates on the case, even volunteering to leave and conduct unauthorized investigation on all the suspicious people they had pinned down and reporting back to Momo even though it usually leads to nowhere.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry Momo,” Nayeon assures as she fluffs the younger woman’s blanket for the umpteenth time, tucking in the officer and stroking her head gently. “I’ll follow up on every single lead, whether authorized or not.” Momo hears Nayeon sucking in a sharp breath as she pursed her lips, giving one final tap to the recuperating woman before picking up her bag before muttering in the coldest voice the younger woman had ever heard from her friend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...We’ll get him. I don’t know how long it’ll take but we’ll get that son of a bitch and make him </span>
  <em>
    <span>pay</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Silently, Momo slides the picture back under the clip and sets it aside, cupping her face with her hands as she thinks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Burn marks, numerous traces of drugs found in their system and young women looking to break into the entertainment industry. These are the three criterias that most of the victims ticked but not Sana.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She groans, rapping her knuckles against her skull as if that action would suddenly cause her brain to work harder. “Think, Momo. Think! There has to be something that connects Sana to them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Holding her breath, Momo slowly counts in her head as she organizes all her thoughts, drawing one big picture as she mentally connects them all one by one, much like the evidence board hung right in front of her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Sana was young and beautiful but she was also pregnant and she never had thoughts of being a celebrity either. The pressure and scrutiny would be too much for her to handle.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>A small light bulb in her mind goes out as that link was dismissed, cloaking that part of the board in darkness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The forensic report I got back showed that Sana was the picture of health, the latest thing she ate were some buttermilk cookies. Zero traces of any drugs in her body.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her fingers wrap themselves around the side of her head, clutching as her face starts to turns red from the lack of oxygen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Injuries noted on her body were four bullet wounds, spaced out inconsistently and various scrapes on her knees and elbows, signs that she had been trying to escape. She didn’t have any burn marks. Or perhaps they didn’t have enough time to put one? But that wouldn’t make sense because they killed her in public.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Every testimony, every shred of evidence connects to everyone </span>
  <em>
    <span>but </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sana, her wife standing alone in her mind, desolated and shrouded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Panting, Momo gasps as she sucks in each breath greedily, drooping over her desk as she gazes up at her evidence board. Right at the center with threads surrounding but not connecting was the smiling face of Sana, looking serene and beautiful and </span>
  <em>
    <span>alive</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Momo stares at her pitifully, reaching out but pausing midway before dropping her hand back down, as if telling herself she had no right to touch Sana.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>A sudden blink of light distracts Momo as the electronic clock on her desk beeps, displaying that it was currently four in the morning and that the officer had less than two measly hours of sleep should she be able to find it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Another wasted night. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Momo sighs and she sets down the file she was holding with a thump, folding her hands across her stomach blankly as she stares out to her room. The still air seems to thicken, suffocating her and in a moment of weakness, she stands up and walks towards one of the cabinets, picking up one of the dozens of small bottles decorating the top shelf. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The liquid within swirls, pooling onto one side of the bottle with less than a quarter left.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>I need to stop this. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Momo thinks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It's not healthy. </span>
  </em>
  <span>But her hands betray her.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gently twists the cap open, pulling her coat open and spritz a few sprays onto her collar before flapping it and burrowing her nose and taking a deep breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(It seems to be missing something but this is the </span>
  <em>
    <span>closest</span>
  </em>
  <span> she can get to the comforting scent of Sana and Momo would take whatever she can get.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Momo wraps her coat around her like one would do to a distressed child and cradles herself, indulging in the sweet perfume with her eyes close tight, perhaps even managing to imagine the feel of Sana’s arms wrapped around her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes wearily crack open and land on a bookshelf adjacent to the cabinet and she sighs before slowly walking over. “Maybe it's time I take a break.” She muses before trailing a finger along the spines of various items lined up, hooking one finger into the nook of an album and pulling it out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cardboard cutouts of Korean characters dangle slightly as the glue that had once stuck them to the cover had completely dried and was cracking from neglect. Momo gently pushes the first character back into place, smoothing out the slight crease.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Memories of Sana and Momo!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sana had always had a passion for taking as many pictures as she could and turning them into a scrapbook, badgering everyone around her as she unceremoniously shoves her camera into their faces and starting her collection of photo albums.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Look!” Sana gently slides one of her new polaroids into the album, flipping it over to show Momo. The picture in question was one of the other woman dozing, eyes rolled up unglamorously and exposing the white of her eyes. There was even a spot of dried drool on her bottom lip.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ugh.” Momo cringes and rolls her eyes as she bats her girlfriend’s hands away uselessly, pouting when Sana only laughs loudly as she crawls towards Momo, cuddling her arm as she flips to the earlier pages of the album, proudly showing off her handy work.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why are you taking so many pictures? And most of them are either blurry or ugly!” Complaining, Momo jabs to another picture at the front of the book which shows her chowing down on her third bowl of rice, seaweed flakes stuck on the tip of her nose while Hana was caught mid-sneeze, face scrunched up.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Because it's a memory!” Sana points to another picture, this time only showing a puddle of mud and one dirty white shoe next to it. “See, even though no one is present I know what happened. We were running late for homeroom so I decided to take a shortcut even though you didn’t want to and we slipped! That’s my shoe over there.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"You were</span>
  </em>
  <span> so </span>
  <em>
    <span>upset that day but you gave me your shoes while going to school barefooted, not complaining even once when your socks became wet. You were so sweet." </span>
  </em>
  <span>Gazing</span>
  <em>
    <span> at the picture fondly, she traces one finger over the border and looks up sweetly at Momo, puckering her lips in a silent plea for a kiss which the older woman obliges readily. Pulling away slightly, Sana chases after Momo's lips, only letting her go after giving her two more kisses on her jaw.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“One day when we have kids, we can show them these.” She taps insistently on an older picture. There, a blurry back view of Momo resides as her hand was caught in motion, swinging up as if to block something. “A stray baseball was flying loose during sports day and it was hurtling towards me!  I didn't notice it because  I was supposed to take pictures of all the athletes that day and you protected me but got hit in the face instead.” Sana nuzzles against Momo’s neck. “Do you remember?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>There wasn’t a chance in Hell that Momo would forget it as she rubs absently at her jaw, nursing an old injury. “Of course! That thing knocked me out cold and I couldn’t chew properly for a week! A week!” She sighs and sinks back against the couch, holding Sana who coos softly, babying Momo by cradling her face. “Why are most of the pictures of me anyways? It’s about memories right? Then there should be more of you too, so our kids can see you being dumb.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Staring silently at Momo, Sana drags one finger down the edge of the older woman’s nose, smiling when she goes over the small bump on the bridge. “I want to remember </span>
  </em>
  <span>every </span>
  <em>
    <span>moment with you, the good and the bad. You’re the </span>
  </em>
  <span>most </span>
  <em>
    <span>precious thing to me, Moguri. Do you know that?” She whispers softly as Momo’s ears heat up from shyness, eyes cast towards the floor. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Y-Yeah well…” Stammering, Momo gently nudges Sana off her lap as she fumbles around the couch, doing her best to pointedly ignore the mirth dancing in her girlfriend’s eyes before pulling out a kodak film camera hidden behind the cushions and whips it around, quickly taking a snapshot of Sana, blinding her with the flash.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oops!” Momo flicks off the flash option and sheepishly rubs Sana’s eyes. “Sorry, I forgot the flash was on.” Sana blinks hard, fluttering her eyelids as she slowly adjusts them back to the normal lighting. “Hey! I wasn’t ready!” She smacks Momo’s arms weakly, pouting when the older woman grimaces loudly as if in pain and she pouts until Sana cracks a smile.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well, I want to remember everything about you too.” Blushing, Momo scratches the side of her cheeks “...You’re the most important person in my life and I want everyone to be able to see what I see. So,” She waves the camera “this is the next best thing.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Her next words were almost inaudible if not for the small distance between the two. “And...I want our kids to know exactly why I fell in love."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Caught off guard, Sana melts almost at once, giggling as she paws at Momo, urging the older woman to open up her arms to hold her. “Sweet talker.” She accuses, laughing when the tips of Momo’s ears flushes. “The sweetest, cutest and </span>
  </em>
  <span>most </span>
  <em>
    <span>lovable person ever existed and you’re all mine.” Sana almost look disbelieving as she says this, staring like she was in awe of Momo.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I try.” Momo tries to smile charmingly, the effect ruined by the pinkish hue spreading across her face.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You can’t be this sweet to anyone else okay?” Sana harrumphs, squishing her girlfriend’s cheeks with both hands as she looks upside down at Momo. “Only to me!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Softening, Momo places a gentle peck on the younger woman’s forehead and the look of absolute bliss that seems to overcame Sana’s face was almost too much to bear and Momo quickly puts the camera up to her eye, looking adoringly at the woman she loves through its lenses as she takes a quick shot.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t worry Sana, you’re the only one for me.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chewing on her bottom lip, Momo flips the cover open and is instantly greeted by an yellowish picture that looks faded with age. “Oh?” She took a closer look and recognized the two pudgy faces at the front as both her and Sana and the taller one next to them that was holding onto both their hands was Hana.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was taken by Sana’s mother during their first day of kindergarten, explaining why her younger self had looked as though she had just went through the most traumatizing thing in her short life whereas Sana was brimming with joy, practically vibrating on the spot in the picture.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Mama! Again! Again!” Sana holds her arms up high into the air as she begs her mother to take another picture, whining when the older Minatozaki tucks the camera back into her purse.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sorry Sa-chan but we don’t have enough film left.” With a pout that rivals her own daughter’s, she pulls the three children in for a hug, accidentally squishing Momo and knocking Hana’s hat off in the process.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Be good okay?” She makes eye contact with the youngest Hirai who sniffles, wiping at her nose. “You’re a big girl now so you have to be brave.”  She kisses Momo softly on her head, mouthing "For good luck." Before gently pushing all three girls towards the gates.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Just then, Sana jumps right into Momo’s field of vision and holds her face in her chubby hands, smiling toothily. “Don’t be scared Momo! I’m here with you!” She quickly holds onto both of Momo’s hands, showing her sincerity by clinging as hard as she can.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I need one of Momo’s hands, Sana.” Hana tries to separate the younger girl’s hold on her sister, frowning when she’s met with resistance from both girls and Sana sticks her tongue out cutely.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t want to hold hands with you. You held hands with a boy and I don’t want cooties.” Momo mumbles as she hiccups wetly, toddling after Sana who yells out an enthusiastic goodbye to her mother. The older Minatozaki yells out to them to behave and that she would buy them ice cream afterwards, waving frantically while dabbing her tears away with her handkerchief.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Just before they reach the school gates, Momo whirls around to look straight at Sana, startling other school goers with the abrupt stop as another girl bumps into Sana's bag. “Promise you won’t let go?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The younger girl starters down at their interlocked hands and pulls one away reluctantly before holding one pinkie out. “I won’t, pinkie promise!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Momo slowly locks her pinkie with her best friend, twisting and snapping their thumbs against one another and the answering smile that Sana gives her was dazzling. Without even realizing it, she had stopped crying.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sana tried really hard not to let go of Momo's hands, even holding in her pee until she was antsy. In the end Momo followed her best friend into the bathroom, holding hands outside the stall.)</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taking another whiff of the perfume, Momo lays her collar against her nose, nuzzling against it as she turns her attention towards the next picture, this time a coloured polaroid with glitter on the borders.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>In it, Sana’s eyes were swollen as she tucked her face against Momo’s, arms thrown around the older woman as the bouquet of flowers hung loosely in her grip. Her younger self had hoisted Sana up in her arms, caught in mid-twirl with a loud laugh present on her lips as a shower of graduation caps fell behind them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Congratulations! I knew you can do it!” Momo punctuates each word with a kiss all over Sana’s face, ignoring the smears her lipstick leaves in favour of the airy giggle that Sana gives, ending with one on her lips.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Look at you, a certified teacher!” Momo tenderly tucked a strand of hair behind Sana’s ear, thumb wiping a few stray tears rolling down her girlfriend’s cheeks. “I’m so,</span>
  </em>
  <span> so</span>
  <em>
    <span> proud of you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Thank you.” Sana sniffs loudly, her honey brown eyes filled with tears again as she leaps into Momo’s arms, dropping her graduation cap as her robes flutter around them both. “I just wish my parents could be here…” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Momo gently cradles the back of her girlfriend’s head as she shushes her soothingly. “I know baby, it was just bad timing that there’s a typhoon happening so they couldn’t leave.” She pulls back to look reassuringly into Sana’s eyes, heart bursting with so much pride and joy. “We’ll take lots of pictures to show them and do a video call later okay? Until then, I’ll give you so much love it’ll seem like our </span>
  </em>
  <span>whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>family was here!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Quickly picking Sana up, she smiles as the surprised gasp the younger woman lets out quickly turns into a shrill laugh, giggling and calling for Momo to let her down as they spin endlessly.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A tear splatters onto the album and Momo flinches when one of the older picture and the words written above it smudges slightly at the edge, cracking from old age and bad quality. She lifts the bottom of her shirt and dabs lightly, frowning when the ink blots on her outfit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(Thankfully it had been just a picture of a cracked mug. Momo doesn't know what she would have done if it had been one with Sana in it.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pictures were arranged in no particular sequence, jumping from their early childhood to Momo’s first day as an officer and back to the time when they were teenagers. Sana had probably placed them in this order so that she could indulge in as many different memories from different time periods as she could. Her fingers brushes against a tiny passage written in half Japanese and half Korean next to a snapshot of their passports, feeling the deep indents in the page as she reads out her wife's familiar handwriting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“D-Day, we’re finally moving to Korea.” Momo reads softly “I’m so excited but I can tell that Moguri is feeling anxious about going to a foreign land. She has that cute little pout on all day and I just want to kiss her senseless.” A small emoji of a pig and hamster was drawn side by side with a heart above their heads. “To be honest, I’m really nervous as well but I have to remain strong for Momo.” Sana drew a thought bubble and a small snowman, colouring it with a pink highlighter. “But I think I can do anything if I’m with Momo.” the older woman's name was underlined three times. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(It feels as though her heart was being ripped through her chest before being punctured over and over again. She can almost feel the cool glint of sharp steel dragging its way up her chest as it plunges in deep, Sana smiling at the end of the knife.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everything here screams Sana, Momo realizes. From the crudely cut out pictures of her favourite actresses decorating the album’s back to the way she would colour her words, writing as though she was encouraging anyone who was reading.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She’s everywhere.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(If Momo tries hard enough, she could almost hear Sana’s voice reading those little notes she wrote above the pictures and she doesn't know what would hurt more. Not feeling Sana or never being able to escape from all the remainders.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vision blurring, Momo hurriedly flips to a page that was bulging out slightly and finds a copy of an ultrasound stuck to its pages along with several others documented at consistent intervals. Sana had used a sharpie and labelled each body part as soon as it was formed, scribbling down potential baby names before crossing them out. There were various doodles of a small family of three, each of them doing a different activity but with matching happy grins.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s all grown up now.” She mumbles, looking at the ultrasound that shows all five fingers on Tzuyu’s tiny hand as if she was waving to both her parents.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(She remembers all the times she would tap gently on Sana's bump, grinning maniacally when Tzuyu would push back from within, playing with her mothers.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a heavy heart, she skips through the other pages, not sure if she could withstand yet another trip down memory lane. She purposefully ignores the one from their wedding because there were only two times she has seen Sana in full white and the second one had been during her funeral.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once again Momo wonders whether it would have been better if she had just simply </span>
  <em>
    <span>forgotten</span>
  </em>
  <span>. If she could only close her eyes and not suffer through the vividness of how Sana’s hair feels as it slips through her fingers or the lopsided way her wife would grin, body tilted to the side in an invitation. If she could just ignore the way Sana's body had molded to hers, chest pressed against her back. The softness of the dips of her waist and the sound of her laughter, high and loud but </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>happy. Would that have made the pain go away? </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But for some reason, the idea of forgetting Sana seems to hurt even worse, her heart rebelling against the thought of ever letting go. Just moving on like she never existed? An inconceivable idea. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>There wasn’t an inch of Momo that was left untouched by Sana, shaping her into the woman she is today. To erase her would be to erase Hirai Momo.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Because that’s really all she has left of Sana who only exists in pictures and her memories. And that scares Momo because if she were to ever forget, if her mind one days becomes hazy and she could no longer recall the way her wife’s lips would curl mischievously or the way she sometimes wear mismatched socks, insisting that it would be good for them to make new friends with each other, Sana would then truly be gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(Even if it hurts, even if the pain feels as though it might kill her, Momo </span>
  <em>
    <span>has to </span>
  </em>
  <span>remember. For even if it's only within her own mind, at least there Sana is alive and well.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuddering, the lingering scent of perfume snaps Momo out of her own thoughts as well as the stabbing ache behind her eyes and she rubs gingerly, flipping languidly to the very last page only to wish she hadn’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The final page only has three occupants with an empty slot on the bottom and the officer immediately knew which picture Sana had wanted to place from the tiny little balloons drawn all over the slot, with a small birthday cake that was missing a date. Sana had even written </span>
  <em>
    <span>Welcome! </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>We love you! </span>
  </em>
  <span>in bubbly shapes with a semi-realistic drawing of a baby girl drawn above.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(This isn’t fair.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just before the empty spot was the last picture they had taken as a family with Momo kneeling reverently next to Sana, cradling the baby bump with her cheeks squished. Her wide, toothy grin matches Sana’s who placed one hand on top of her wife’s head and another right on Momo’s hand on the bump. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two of them hadn’t bothered to look into the camera, opting to gaze at each other adoringly and the way Sana’s eyes had crinkled up in the picture almost triggers Momo to throw up, heaving emptily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(It wasn’t fair. None of this was.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should have seen her, Satang.” Momo whines softly into her hand covering her face, looking through the gap between her fingers. "She's perfect..." Hesitating, Momo reaches for her wallet on her desk, pulling out one slightly scratched picture and slowly slides it into the empty slot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The plastic holder creaks noisily from use, displaying the last photo as the smiling faces of Mina and her greet the officer while Tzuyu has an almost wistful look on her face as she dangles from her mother's hold hoisting her up into the air. “I’m sorry, I didn’t take any picture during her birth because-” Her words hang tensely in the air. “But this was taken during Tzuyu’s first day at school, look how big she is now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She could almost hear Sana whining next to her, huffing that Tzuyu would always be her baby which prompts a soft chuckle from Momo before realizing she was alone, lips parting as she sighs heavily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>A little awkwardly, Momo points to a serene looking Mina and talks softly to no one in particular. “Hey Satang? I’ll like you to meet Mina. We’re...dating now and she’s great with Tzuyu so don’t be worried okay? She’s a good person.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It feels almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong </span>
  </em>
  <span>somehow to have another woman in an album that was about Sana and her but then again, Mina </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>part of her memories. She cares about the younger woman and a small part of Momo feels like she owes this much to Mina, to acknowledge her as part of the family.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>To </span>
  <em>
    <span>accept</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(Momo wishes she can get rid of this murky feeling deep in her chest. There is nothing wrong with what she’s doing but why does she feel as though she’s-)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>A slight shuffle can be heard from beyond her door before a set of tentative knocks follows. Setting aside the album gently on her desk, Momo stands up as her back cracks and she grunts, playing a palm at her lower back before walking over to the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tzuyu looks up at her over Minjoong with a pinched expression, wiggling restlessly on the spot as she does uppy arms. “ What’s wrong Tzuyu? It’s,” She turns back to squint at the glaring red light of her clock. “Only five in the morning, you have school today. Can't sleep?” Boo whimpers as he circles the older woman’s legs, asking to be carried too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Momo slowly maneuvers Tzuyu and holds her against her chest, covering her field of vision as she shuts her door, locking it. The toddler refuses to say anything, just clinging onto her mother as Momo rubs her back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>A small hiccup clued Momo in as she sighs tiredly. “Bad dream?” Tzuyu nods, still glued to Momo’s chest. “Why didn’t you go to mama? She gives the best hugs.” The toddler mumbles something and the officer had to pull her daughter away from her coat to hear her properly. “I want your hugs.” She starts crying again, whatever she had been dreaming about must have really frightened the toddler. “Mommy stay.” She begs as she cuddles closer towards Momo’s collar, resting her face where the fading scent of perfume wafts and the toddler’s breathing evens out, trembling lessening.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>At this angle she really looks like you, Satang. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Momo thinks as her heart clenches at the stray tear drop clinging onto her daughter’s eyelashes and she tenderly wipes it away, amused when the toddler tries to bat her hand away.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, let’s lie down together with mama too. C’mon Boo.” After turning the knob experimentally and finding it locked tightly, Momo trudges towards the master bedroom, one hand sliding against the wall to find the way due to the darkness of the hallway. It was a tough challenge not to trip over anything especially with the way Boo was weaving between her legs like an obstacle course.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Quietly cracking the door open, she finds Mina slumbering, dead to the world as a piece of her hair is stuck in her mouth and Momo smiles regretfully, wishing she could have taken a picture as she sets the toddler down besides Mina under the blanket. While still asleep, the younger woman flips around and instinctively holds onto Tzuyu, cuddling her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Perching herself on the edge of the bed, Momo watches silently before caressing Tzuyu, touching her soft cheeks slightly before giving a small kiss goodnight to Mina.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She settles herself down on the other side of the bed, propping her head up while patting the toddler’s thigh rhythmically and her daughter subconsciously starts biting on Minjoong’s eyes, sucking sleepily. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Boo whines sadly at the bottom of the bed, circling them restlessly before plopping down, ears drooped when he couldn’t find any doggy steps for him to climb on. He whines again, this time louder and longer before huffing, placing his head on his paws while unleashing the full force of his puppy eyes towards Momo who chuckles, picking up the tiny puppy and placing him next to her daughter. "Here you go."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Putting a finger to her lips, Momo looks at Tzuyu then back at Boo and he seemingly gets the message as he immediately finds a good spot to lay on, not even barking once and he gives one wet lick on the older woman's finger, bidding her goodnight. The officer feels her lips twitching as Boo forms himself into a tiny ball and she tugs the blanket over him as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Night Boo, sleep well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally being the only one left awake, Momo sits up against the headboard of the bed, feet crossed as she drums her fingers on a pillow, staring off to space. There was no need to try to sleep as she had to be up in about twenty minutes so she took this time to look at her family. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Perhaps her family was not how she had envisioned nor was it ideal but it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>hers. </span>
  </em>
  <span>This is how things are now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>(Momo feels like she’s doing something terribly wrong.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The CCTV recording replays in an endless loop, showing the same scene where it only displays the wall of the alley as a small shadow was cast on it again but this time the laptop freezes, keeping the image on the screen. The character cutout from the album that Momo tries to stick back to springs back up from its glue prison and pops off the cover, falling off the table and spiraling downwards.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey guys! Sorry for the wait &gt;&lt; I will never give up on this fic, it was just that I got lazy :P And since the weather is cold these days I'm more or less huddled in bed rather than writing TT</p>
<p>I literally wrote this today so sorry it's rushed :c I really wanted to get a chapter out for you guys! Also, the very next thing I upload would NOT be for this fic but for another one I'm planning! For those of you who follow me on twitter you would have seen me whining about how hard it is to right XD The next one is a oneshot for samo! Pure fluff, no deaths, breakups or anything :D The outline for it is currently at 5K so...maybe a 10K oneshot haha that's my atonement for this fic. I hope you guys would like it!</p>
<p>Some clarification in case its confusing! The photo album used is those artsy kind (Something Chae would buy) And its made of paper hence why Sana could write around those pictures placed there. Regarding the smudging one, only really old or bad quality films would run. The normal ones if exposed to lots of water would become crinkly. At least...mine did TT</p>
<p>Momo's been looking at the CCTV footages on her laptop because as per police rules, she's been kicked off the investigation because she was close with the victim (Something about having a bias? Like how you can't investigate if your brother is involved in a money fraud or something.) and she has been rather unprofessional and desperate. </p>
<p>And a Q&amp;A section from some questions I got from the comments!</p>
<p>1. We will definitely be having more NaMoJiChaeTzu moments! They're the original gang (minus Sana) and now that Chaeyoung is friends with Tzuyu she's not going to let go of her.</p>
<p>2. Read on to find out :D</p>
<p>3. Definitely! MiNayeon are clashing now and they will clash even more later on. There will come a time where Nayeon would seriously take a stand (I'm not sure if it would be a good or bad one for you guys) and tensions would come to its peak, sort of!</p>
<p>4. Hmm. Good question actually...</p>
<p>5. She can't. Its more of wishful thinking sadly because now that she's dead, the only time her mom can 'see' her again would be in her dreams and its common in my culture to want to dream about those who passed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thank you all so much for reading and thank you for the kudos &lt;3 I'm doing my best to find a good writing style since I think I'm too repetitive sometimes. Do let me know if you find any flaws (aside from typos because they always happen even if I do my best to filter through it T^T)</p>
<p>Some hints are once again hidden in this fic which would be explored later on! I'm laying some groundwork subtly, at least I hope its subtle XD</p>
<p>If you have any questions you can ask in the comments or find me on Twitter! I'm friendly :D</p>
<p>See you next time!</p>
<p>#TwiceMeetAgain</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my first work and I know I have many areas to improve on so do let me know what you would like to see in the next chapters and I'll do my best :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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